What if I Told You (Anaheim Stars Hockey #2)

23. August

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

AUGUST

I ’m so not fine.

Did he mean what he said?

Did he have Ella before I did?

Did they sleep together?

Were they a thing and I didn’t know?

Would she have kept that from me?

“I had her first! And she was a fucking good time!”

I want to make myself believe Furbling was lying to get under my skin. In my mind, there’s no way anything has happened between him and Ella. I would have known. She would have told me back then. We told each other everything.

But Hell! He certainly knows how to get under my skin.

I wish I could talk to Ella. Ask her. Find out the truth so all the whirling emotions fighting each other in my brain would calm the fuck down. I wish I could just grab her and get the fuck out of here, but I can’t yet. We both have responsibilities right after the game. She’s busy upstairs getting pictures taken with fans, and Griffin, Barrett, and I are on tap to sign autographs out on the ice.

As soon as the buzzer sounds, the crowd roars and we celebrate another hard-fought win. We shake hands with the other team even though all I want to do is beat the shit out of every last one of them. I don’t even make eye contact as I move through the line and then I’m off to the tunnel where I hand our equipment manager my gear and wait for Griffin and Barrett. Bear’s the last one off the ice and he looks just as pissy as I feel.

“Let’s get this done and get the fuck out of here,” he says.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

“Aww, what’s the matter, gentlemen?” Griffin says with a hand on each of our shoulders. “Bad night?”

“Fuck off, Ollenberg,” Bear says to him as we step back out on the ice.

“Hey what happened back there? With the coach?” Griffin asks.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m pissed off enough.”

We skate up to the crowd of people who are in line to have things autographed. Some have t-shirts, some have pictures purchased from the team shop, and some have special personal items they want us to sign. Working our way down the line, I follow Griffin, signing my name to each item held out and saying hello to the fans. I thank them for coming to the game and for their support. Usually this is a fun thing to do after a game but my mind is anywhere but on what I’m doing. This is just a distraction from what I want to be focused on.

All I want to do is find Ella.

And I do.

When a naked picture of her is thrust in front of me.

“Thought you could sign this for me, August. It’s one of my favorites.”

I snap the picture from his hands before I lift my eyes to see Jeff Furbling standing in front of me with a fucking smirk on his face. My nostrils flare and my face heats as I stare back at his ugly face and then glance down at the photo in my hands. Inside my stomach is churning and every person standing here for an autograph has turned to shadow. I can’t focus on anything or anyone.

“Fuck you, Furbling. This isn’t even—” I look down at the picture in my hand again and bile rises in my throat. I want so fucking badly for this to be a hoax. I want so badly to beat the shit out of Furbling for even trying to make me believe that he slept with my girl. But this may very well be my very worst nightmare coming true. All the blood drains from my face. My heart pounds, my body tenses, and my stomach hollows at the tiny detail in this picture that tells me it is indeed Ella.

The owl tattoo right above her heart.

“She’s a sweet little fuck, isn’t she August?” He laughs. “Should we ask her whose cock she likes better?”

That’s it.

I can’t do this anymore.

Can’t be the nice guy.

All.

I.

See.

Is.

Red.

Red everywhere.

Before I know what the fuck I’m doing, I grab Furbling and yank him over the wall. His back hits the ice and he tries to say something but I refuse to give him one more word until I’ve hit him at least once so I pull my fist back and punch his face.

“Did she know?” I shout at him. “Did she fucking know you took that picture?”

All he does is laugh so I pound into his face with my fist as hard and as fast as I can.

Oh my God he took pictures of her!

“You fucking son of bitch!” Hit number two.

She slept with Jeff?

How could she do this to me?

“You stay the fuck away from her…” Hit three.

“Or I swear to God I will fucking kill you with my own two hands.” I get three more hard hits in before Barrett and Griffin grab me from behind and pull me off Furbling who tries to get up and fight back and slips on the ice and falls. With my teammates holding me back and pulling me toward the tunnel, I shout, “You should be glad I didn’t slit your fucking throat with my skate!”

“Dude, shut the fuck up!” Griffin says as he strong-arms me into the tunnel. “What the fuck are you doing August?

“You’ll be lucky if you don’t get yourself thrown in jail for that mess,” Barrett warns.

“Do you think I give two shits about that?”

They toss me in an empty room somewhere in the hallway that leads to the locker rooms. When I glance around I can see it’s one of the physical therapy rooms. Griffin stands next to me while Bear stands in the doorway, effectively blocking it with his arms folded in front of him.

“Start talking,” Griffin commands.

“He slept with Ella.”

“Who slept with Ella?” He hitches his thumb toward the door. “That guy?”

“That guy was Jeff Furbling.”

Griffin’s brows pinch. “Furbling…why do I know that?—”

“Because he was the guy who played for the Gators when I was rookie. The guy who had a career ending injury during the game and hasn’t played since.”

“Oookay…”

“Because I was the final blow. I played in that game when I was with the Sharks,” I tell him, trying to take a deep breath. “He got checked pretty massively only I didn’t see it all happen at the time so when I came in hot and bounded into him again, the crash snapped his body in too many places. He never fucking recovered enough to get back on the ice.”

“August, that’s so not your fau?—”

“He fucking slept with her, Griffin!” I seethe, interrupting what I know he was going to say. “He slept with Ella. Fucked her and then took fucking pictures of her!”

I’m so hot I don’t know how I’m not physically exploding right now. My mind is coming up with irrational thoughts, I’m losing any and all ability to think coherently. I’m just so fucking pissed off. It’s like the world just tilted and threw everything I’ve ever known off balance.

“She’s been fucking with me this whole damn time!”

“Wait.” Barrett’s brows furrow and he cocks his head. “What?”

“She told me she loved me, but she slept with…” I shake me head. “She slept with the one person on this earth that I…I can’t…”

“AUGGIE?” Her voice rings down the hall as rage builds up inside me. “AUGUST!”

“He’s in here,” Barrett says, leaning his head out the doorway. I hear her clopping down the hallway, which tells me she’s still in her costume. When she rounds the door, she’s carrying her mascot head in her hands, her face is red, and she’s a little sweaty. She takes one look at me face and is by my side instantly, her hands cupping my face as she assesses my injuries.

“Oh, my God! Auggie! What the hell happened to you?”

Seething with anger I look her square in the eye and say, “You happened to me.”

Her expression falls. “What?”

I push her hands away from my face and stand from the exam table where I was sitting. She flinches as she steps back, her eyes bulging, and her brows furrowed. “Auggie, talk to me.” She shakes her head. “I don’t understa?—”

“You never understand, do you? Because you don’t fucking want to. You just waltz into someone’s life and assume they’ll take care of you and give you everything you could ever want because that’s all you do is take, take, take, isn’t it?”

“Auggie…?”

“What’s the matter Ella? Jeff Furbling didn’t do enough for you so you came out here to California to charm me into falling for you?”

“What?” She frowns. “What are you even talking about?”

“You FUCKED him, Ella!” I shout, my voice growing rough. I stare at her intensely so she can see the raw emotion in my eyes. “You spread your legs wide open for that fucking son of a bitch and you asked him to stick his dick inside you. You fucked him.”

“I…I didn’t…”

“You DID, Ella!” I step into her personal space, towering over her, making myself as huge as possible. “Don’t fucking deny it because you know what he showed me today? He showed me a goddamn naked picture of you!” I hold up the picture in my hand and toss it at her. “Did you know he had those? Huh? Did you know he took fucking pictures of you while you slept…NAKED? Or did you actually pose for these?”

A look of horror falls over her face and tears spring to her eyes as they flit to Griffin and Bear but I shake my head. “Don’t look at them! Look at ME!” I shout at her. “I’m the one standing RIGHT FUCKING HERE!” I huff. “I’m the one who gave you whatever you wanted! I’m the one who bent over backwards to make sure you were cared for here! I’m the one who gave up my lifestyle when you showed up so you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable! I’m the one you seduced with your pretty little tits and walking around my apartment in lingerie, crying to me about the lack of orgasms in your life. But it turns out you’re nothing but a whore, isn’t that right, Ella?”

“Aug—”

“Shut up, Griffin!”

Ella shakes her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. Her lip trembles and she nearly chokes back a sob when she whimpers, “That’s not true, Auggie.”

“Stop calling me that. My name is August. Only my best friend gets to call me Auggie and you are certainly not that person.”

I step away from her toward the door but I’m so filled with rage that I know I’ll regret it if I don’t say what’s really eating at me, so I turn around and scream as loudly as I can, “BECAUSE MY BEST FRIEND WOULD NEVER SLEEP WITH THE ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH THAT WOULD HURT ME THE MOST! SHE’D NEVER DO IT! BECAUSE MY BEST FRIEND WOULD HAVE A GODDAMN MODICUM OF RESPECT FOR ME!

“I was lonely, August!” she cries as I’m about to march out of the room. “It wasn’t what you think! It was a mistake. All of it. I don’t even have a good excuse! You had just left after Christmas and I was missing you so damn much and he…he was there for a game and…it was years ago. I was drunk and he saw me at a bar. He was drunk too and we…he was an asshole, August, and…and you were my life then and now. You still are!”

I push my hand through my sweat soaked hair and then shake my head. “Well, I hope it was fucking worth it, Ella, because I can’t even look at you now without seeing him. All this time you could have told me. You knew how I felt about him. You knew the guilt and pain I’ve gone through for years because of him and yet you never once told me that you’ve felt his cock inside you and that is something I can’t forgive.” I sneer. “We’re done here. I never should have given you the time of day and I’ll be damned if I waste another breath on you.”

“Auggie…August, please!”

I don’t even listen to her plea anymore. I glare at Barrett until he moves from the doorway and then set off down the hall to the locker room where the rest of the team is sitting quietly. It’s evident they could hear my argument with Ella in the way they’re all watching me. After I throw my gear around and whip off my jersey I turn to them all and shout, “What the fuck are you all staring at?”

“Do you want to talk about this?” Oliver asks.

I punch my hand into my locker. “DO I FUCKING LOOK LIKE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?”

I don’t even bother to shower because I’m that pissed off. I strip out of my uniform and pull on my workout clothes instead of my suit and head for the parking garage so I can get the fuck out of here. I don’t head home because I know that’s where she will be. She has nowhere else to go. So, I drive myself to a bar. Any bar but the one we usually hang out in so I can drink in peace without anyone bothering me.

I just need to numb the pain.

I need to drink away my anger until I can’t feel a goddamn thing.

And then I’ll drink one more just because I can.