When I Was Theirs

73. Jared

73

Jared

E mmy sits on the end of the bed as I kneel on her overstuffed bag, zipping it up. “You’re going to tip over wearing this.”

She doesn’t smile. Her eyes are damp. “I don’t think I’m ready, Jared.”

Honestly, I’m not sure I’m ready either. Because she’s leaving today.

Em rubs at the top of her legs. “You’re staying here, right?”

I nod. “I’ll feed Geraldine. Maybe add a couple of new unwanted things to the collection.”

Not even a twitch of her lips. “And the apartment is going.”

“I’m handing the keys back tomorrow.”

My old drinking place, the place where Ben took his last breath, is a temptation I would rather not have dangling over my head. Some places are better left as memories.

She blows out a breath. “You’ll keep going to meetings.”

I crawl over to her, my hands settling on her trembling knees. “I’m going to go to all the meetings. Keep getting my tokens. Work in the studio. Cook in the kitchen. I’m going to be right here. Whenever you miss home, I want you to think of that. It’s all here, Em. Waiting for you whenever you’re ready.”

She bites down on her lip. “It’s only three months.”

“Yep.” My thumb brushes her lips. “And you’re going to have an incredible time.”

She peeks up at me. “Will you kiss me before I leave?”

I tilt my head. “You wanted a movie moment. Imagine how special it’ll be when you get back. Something for us to look forward to.”

Her lips part. “Are you serious ?”

I kiss her cheek in answer. “I can’t kiss you and leave it there, Em. You’ll miss your flight.”

“There are other flights.”

I kiss her other cheek. Her forehead. Nose. Anywhere I can reach, breathing her in. “Come on. The bus will be here soon.”

I keep her hand in mine, her bag slung over my shoulder as we walk to the bus stop. There’s a short queue when we get there, and Em and I stand quietly. Looking at each other.

She rubs her thumb over my hand. “When I get back, I want all the kisses. I’ll be done waiting, Jared.”

Strands of caramel blow around my face. My throat is burning. “I’ll be waiting for you. Come back to me, Em.”

I’ll always wait for you.

She tips up her face to the sun, her eyes closing. “All the little moments.”

“Exactly.” I take her in. The small smile on her lips. Her scars. Her freckle. Every single part of her. “This is just the start, Emmy.”

Her eye cracks open. “I never asked you why you started calling me that. You used to call me Emilia.”

The sound of an engine comes from behind me.

“It felt more formal. And then I realized that you had my heart, no matter what name I called you.” I wrap her in my arms. “Go on now. Create havoc, Em. See everything. Call me whenever you need to.”

Every day.

But I don’t ask her for that. We have our agreed check-ins. It’s enough.

I don’t want to restrict her.

She climbs onto the first step of the bus, turning to face me. “Love you, Jared Bennett.”

Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry. She already is. “Love you more, Emmy Marsters.”

I follow down the side of the bus as she finds a seat next to the window. Emmy’s hands press against the glass. Her smile is shaky.

The bus starts to move.

I walk beside her. Slowly, then faster. She watches me, still mouthing the words.

I love you.

Until I’m running, trying to stay with her.

Until I can’t see her anymore.