When in December (Home Haven #1)

Chapter 30

thirty

. . .

Poppy

Michelle told me to dig deep? I was going to dig myself into the biggest pile of work I could and block everything else out. This was what I loved, right? Home design for Home Haven, even if I wasn’t going to be promoted.

Yet.

Ever.

Who knew really at this rate?

“Do I need to drag you out of here, or can I trust you to leave at a reasonable hour?” Hannah packed up her things for the evening after finishing her last call, which was a doozy—the caller had needed a last-minute gift but did not appreciate any of Hannah’s usual suggestions.

Wrapping up her headset, she gently set it alongside her computer. She looked tired with her hair twisted up in a bun and circles under her eyes from the long hours.

“Or are you still moping?” she asked.

“I’m not moping. I’m working.”

“Sure you are. Those emails look like they are taking care of themselves at the speediest of rates,” teased Hannah.

Unfortunately, after practically living here since getting the promotion notice, I didn’t have much to do. I needed to make the work stretch.

“You know your house looked amazing. Stunning. And you know that I don’t like the outdoors,” Hannah praised me. “Even I would stay there for, like, a night or two. As long as you were there and promised me there weren’t any axe murderers lurking in the trees outside.”

“Thanks, Hannah.”

“Want me to say it again?”

“I’m pretty sure I believed you the first time. And the twentieth today.”

“Just making sure those pretty ears of yours are listening,” she said. “And we are only getting more calls and projects coming up, which means more opportunities for you to overwork yourself into a creative masterpiece.”

“I’m fine. I’m … what’s the step beyond grieving?”

“Denial?” Hannah ventured. “For your job or the GI Joe you left behind in the forest upstate?”

I rolled my eyes. “Can we not talk about it?”

“Fine. Fine. I have to get going anyway before I’m late. Again.”

“You headed somewhere more special than your couch to eat popcorn with your roommates?” I asked.

“I have a date.” Hannah’s mouth twisted as she weighed the final word. “Sort of.”

My eyes widened with sudden shock. “No, you don’t.”

Hannah cocked her head.

How was I just hearing about this? And on New Year’s Eve, no less?

“That’s not what I meant. I knew something was going on. I can’t believe that you didn’t tell me. What’s his name?”

“Grant.”

“Grant,” I repeated. I didn’t know any Grants, though I didn’t know many people. “How long have you known Grant?”

“Remember that guy I was telling you at the bar? The one who called the hotline before the holiday?”

“The ham guy?” I gasped.

She rolled her eyes. “He’d be delighted to hear that’s his nickname. He sort of tracked me down and …”

“Tracked you down?” I needed more details.

“It’s no big deal. He’s just someone I’ve been seeing—not even seeing. It’s not like that exactly.”

“Tell me more about how it is since you’ve been hiding this information. You’ve been trying to get my mind off the promotion and you’ve been holding out?”

“I didn’t want to distract you,” she said, glancing away, as if embarrassed. I’d never seen this side of Hannah before. “Work has been busy, as you saw today. Other things have been going on, like family stuff, so it’s been hectic.”

“Family stuff?” I asked.

I reached out a hand, which Hannah took. As far as I knew, Hannah didn’t speak much with her family, if at all. It was one of the topics neither of us broached, covered in barbed wires.

“You know I’m here for you if you need anything, right?”

“I do. But tonight is going to be a good night.”

“It is,” I agreed. “Take a picture of your outfit for me.”

“I will. I have to go home now through and fix all of this .” She waved her hand over her face and hair situation she had to deal with. “Promise you’ll get out of here before midnight?”

I nodded, though I didn’t say anything.

She huffed. “I’ll message you if I don’t hear anything from you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Uh-huh.” Leaning down, she pressed a glossy kiss against my cheek before tugging her coat over her shoulder. “Love you, Pops.”

“Have fun. It’ll be great.”

She chuckled, turning down the aisle toward the door leading out of the office. “It’ll definitely be something.”

With that foreboding thought, I turned back to my computer again, trying to remember where I had left off. One email at a time, I worked through my list, adding things to the senior interior designers’ calendars and making sure everything was perfect for when everyone returned to the office.

Why shouldn’t I after all? By doing this, I was still doing the thing I enjoyed even if I was the last one in the office. There was no point for me to leave. I had no parties to go to. Even my parents had plans with friends to watch the ball drop and cheer with cheap champagne to bring in the new year, moving us one step forward into the rest of life.

I sighed.

Everyone seemed to be moving on with their lives, except for me.

Rubbing my eyes, I tried to focus on finishing the next contract and invoice that would need to be sent out for … someone.

Reaching for my stack of papers, I sorted through different folders of last names. Larson, McLucas, Hayes?—

I paused, picking at the edge of the Hayes-Preston folder, detailing all the first images I’d had for the cabin’s design before I even saw it the first time. There were swatches of tans and greens and more plaid than I thought Aaron would’ve ever stood for. The original design plans had held the same feeling I wanted in the end, but also so much had changed before it became the final product that I was proud of. I had no idea how I’d managed it all in such a short amount of time with all the hiccups. I certainly wouldn’t have without Aaron helping me.

Aaron inundated my mind. Was he celebrating New Year’s with his sister? How had the showing for his house gone? The people looking at it would be crazy if they didn’t buy it. It would surely go quickly. And when it did sell, was he going to reenlist?

I forced myself to push those thoughts aside and concentrate on work. I couldn’t dwell on Aaron Hayes or the cabin right now. It was over. I needed to move forward.

But how?

Tears pricked and threatened to spill from my eyes as I thought about how pathetic I must look, sitting alone in the office after hours while everyone else was out, enjoying their lives. Why couldn’t I?

I missed Aaron with his infectious laugh and love for his dog that he tried to hide. Underneath his facade of strength, I could see the cracks of grief that he tried to disguise, and it felt like a gift meant just for me.

Maybe I was pathetic, but I couldn’t let myself sit here, blinking at a screen any longer. Reaching to turn off the monitor, I pressed back all the emotions that threatened to surface even though it didn’t matter. Who was here to judge me? My stapler? The little flower sticky notes Hannah had somehow stocked in bulk?

“Super pathetic,” I muttered as I got up from my chair and slung my bag over my shoulder.

That was it; I was heading home and then driving to the cabin.

Was it crazy? Yes. Did it border on desperate? Also yes. But if he wasn’t there, then maybe that would be a sign. And if he was? Well, I didn’t know what would happen then, but?—

“I disagree,” a voice said.

Aaron stood in front of me, halfway up the aisle to my tiny cubicle in the corner of the office.

I wiped away the tears that finally slipped down my cheeks as I cleared my throat. “What are you doing here? It’s New Year’s. You should be?—”

“Where should I be, Snow Angel?”

How was he here? He shouldn’t be …

I couldn’t find the words.

“I finally understand why you hate driving the back roads into the city now more than ever,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“It took way to long for me to get to you.” He took a step towards me, then another until he was directly in front of me. “Then, I stopped by your parents’ house, thinking that you would be home?—”

“You went to my house?”

“And then I figured if you weren’t there, you had to be here,” he said, looking around and taking a deep breath as if it were the first one he’d managed all day. I stared, watching him take it. “Why are you here, Poppy?”

“I’m … I’m working.”

He paused. “I heard you didn’t get the job.”

“Oh. Right. I mean, that’s true. I didn’t get the job, but that doesn’t mean you had to feel sorry for me and come down here.”

“I wanted to see you.”

I swallowed hard, self-conscious under his intense scrutiny. “There’s no need to check up on me. I’m fine,” I replied a little too quickly, my voice coming out sharper than intended.

“Fine?” Aaron raised an eyebrow, unconvinced by my feeble attempt at reassurance. “You don’t seem fine,” he observed, taking a hesitant step closer to where I sat, frozen at my desk.

I felt the tension crackling in the air, uncertain of how to respond to his unexpected presence. Aaron’s gaze was unwavering, as if he could see through my facade. With a sigh, I finally relented, dropping the pretense I had been desperately clinging to.

“What do you want me to say?” I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, the weight of his gaze making it hard to breathe. “I said I’m fine,” I repeated, trying to sound more assertive this time. But the words sounded hollow, even to my ears.

He didn’t contradict me. He knew better by now.

I swallowed, feeling a renewed wave of emotion swell behind my eyes. I swung my hand to the side. I couldn’t hold it together anymore. Again. “Goodness. Why are you here, Aaron? Why did you have to show up here now? I was going to come to you so you didn’t have to see me this way. At my lowest. If only you’d stayed home for another two hours or something.”

“You were coming to see me?”

“Yes!” That was why I was pathetic.

Aaron pressed his lips together, as if he couldn’t help the smile that I once couldn’t believe I was seeing. Even if his eyes were still sad, calculating.

“Why were you coming to see me, Snow Angel?” he asked. “Coming to yell at me again?”

“No.”

“Visit Oz maybe? I kind of figured that you would miss him.”

I snorted and shook my head.

“Then, why, homemaker?” he asked again. “Tell me.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re the one who showed up here.”

“Oh, I get it. You want me to say it.”

Say what? I couldn’t even begin to assume.

“I think I’m in love with you, Poppy Owens.”

My eyes widened.

There was no way he’d just said that. I was imagining things.

“No. You didn’t—you can’t just say that, Aaron.”

“What if I said it? I did say it. And you know what? There’s no thinking about it. I love you.”

His words echoed the feelings swirling inside me, unspoken but palpable.

And as I looked into his eyes, I saw my reflection—my mirrored desires and fear. Aaron had been on my mind constantly, his absence leaving a void that I couldn’t seem to fill, no matter how hard I tried. Yet here he was, putting words to it.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” said Aaron. “You’re all I think about every second I walk through the cabin. I see you everywhere—in those bookshelves and in the paint color on the cabinets that some snooty couple touring the place want to redo in some ugly beige.”

“You told them that it was a terrible idea, right?”

“I held myself back,” he admitted with a small chuckle. “Not that it matters. I don’t think I’m going to be leaving the place.”

“You aren’t?”

“I think I’ll have something to keep me here. Or at least, I hope I will,” he said.

I stared at him, sniffing as I held myself together. “Really?”

“Since losing my parents, I never realized how much I wanted to have a place that felt like I was meant to be there. A place with good meals, even if they’re burned. I don’t care. A place with laughter bouncing off the walls and way too many knickknacks that I don’t get the purpose of. And you helped to make that. You created this place for me that I love more than I thought I could, and after you were gone, I realized that it wasn’t the cabin that was home for me. It was you, Poppy. You’re home.”

Aaron stood there, vulnerable yet resolute. His words hung heavily in the air. My heart pounded in my chest, a whirlwind of emotions crashing over me as I processed his confession.

“I know we agreed on not being together because of your job and my desperate need to escape this place. That would have been the easy solution for us. The neat, tidy, predictable version of us. But then I figured, since when have we ever followed a plan?” He chuckled, as if it was some sort of inside joke. “I should’ve never let you leave the other morning. I woke up, and all I could think about was how I could drag you back into bed, and I didn’t. I thought I would regret what happened in the Army or not going back, but that morning—I don’t think I’ll ever regret anything more than not stopping you then.”

I swallowed, staring at him.

“I guess what I’m saying in all of this is that I hope you feel even a little of the same way here.” Aaron chuckled with his arms open before letting them fall to his sides. “Because I’m done pretending or preparing to run away. I want to stay here in the cabin that you made a home. With you.”

I searched his eyes for any sign of insincerity, but all I found was raw honesty and a flicker of something more. Hope maybe. It was a fragile thing, this unspoken connection that silently grew, but it was there, undeniable and potent.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. The silence stretched taut with all the truths laid bare. And then, without conscious thought, I found myself stepping away from my desk until we were mere inches apart.

The weight of his gaze was both comforting and terrifying. It pulled me in like a magnet.

I couldn’t help but feel torn apart by conflicting emotions. My body ached for him despite all the pain he had caused me before.

Could I let this happen again?

He wanted me. Despite everything that had happened in the past, Aaron Hayes wanted me now.

And you know what?

“I love you too.” My voice was barely a whisper.

Aaron closed the gap between us until our breaths mingled in the small space that separated our lips. “We can figure it out together,” he said softly, his hand reaching out tentatively to brush against my cheek. “Everything. I won’t hold you back, and I’m going to figure out my mess to make us work.”

“We can work with a mess,” I said. “I’d work with a complete disaster for you.”

He kissed me, not pausing for another word. Our mouths spoke the rest, tasting sharp and sweet.

Our kiss deepened, a blend of longing, passion, and unspoken promises. It felt like the rest of the world screaming for the new year to come had fallen away, leaving the two of us in our bubble of existence in the middle of the Home Haven office.

I laughed against his mouth, still in slight disbelief over what was happening, letting the tears slip down my cheeks.

He pushed them away with his thumbs, checking to make sure I was all right before kissing me again.

Breathless and flushed, I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling the tension in his body slowly melt away as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer.

Our noses brushed against each other again before Aaron leaned back. Still holding me against his chest, he glanced around the empty office for the first time since he’d arrived, and he laughed too.

I loved that sound.

And how he wasn’t letting go of me.

“Where do you want to go, Snow Angel?” Aaron asked me. “You say the word and I’ll take you.”

There was only one answer as I held on to him tight.

“Home.”