When The Rain Falls

44. Prepared to Grovel

44 PREPARED TO GROVEL

FINN

I’m prepared to grovel.

Whatever it’s going to take.

I ring Alicia's doorbell early on Saturday morning and take a step back. I thought about rushing over last night. But I was enjoying my time with Vivian and Ruby too much to interrupt it. I’ve put them second to my grief so often. It was time to put them first.

Anxious, I ring the doorbell again and peek through the window. When I see the outline of a figure, I hold my breath. But when Alicia opens the door, I let it out in a long disappointing exhale.

"Hey. Is Aimee home?" I ask quickly, trying to peek into the house around her.

Alicia cocks her head and runs her eyes over my body. Then her eyes flitter downward. And her eyebrow raises studiously. And, goddammit. Aimee might not have been joking about telling Alicia things about me. Fuck, PTA meetings are going to be so awkward.

I sigh in frustration. This isn’t the time for ogling. This is the time for me to go after my woman and bring her back to my cave. Jesus. Maybe I am a troll.

I clear my throat and Alicia blinks. Then she bites her lip thoughtfully as she leans in to study my face. “What did you do to her?” she asks pointedly.

“Alicia,” I groan. “I’m going to fix it. I promise.”

Alicia’s head tilts in confusion. “What do you mean fix it? Fix what?”

Now it’s my turn to be confused. What exactly does Alicia know?

“Wait. What were you talking about?” I ask carefully.

She waves a hand in front of her face. “Finn, I don’t even know where to begin. At first I was concerned. When I realized she was over at your place so much. I mean you’re so much, you know, older .”

Thanks, Alicia.

“I’m not that old,” I mutter. Like my van, I still have some life left.

“And she’s so, you know, Aimee .” The flippant way she says her name makes me growl. I’m about to tear into her when she continues.

“But she’s changed. She’s so much more grounded. She’s getting her head on straight. She’s not as flighty and distracted. She’s much more reasonable. I think you’re a good influence.”

Fuck Alicia. Talking about Aimee like she’s something that needs to be tamed. I like Aimee the way she is. Full of zest and sass. Those wide eyes that drink in the world with a childlike hunger. If she’s different. If she’s more grounded. It’s not because of me. In fact, I’m sure it’s in spite of me. And everything I’ve done to her.

“Alicia,” I growl. “I don’t know who in her life ever made her feel like she wasn’t wanted. I don’t know what happened to make her think people just want to use her. But it’s never happening again. Never. Understand me?”

Alicia’s head teeters back in surprise. I don’t know if her sister is behind any of this. But I’m fairly certain she never really helped the situation. And I don’t like the way she talks about my girl.

That’s right. She’s my girl now. Or she will be. If she still wants me. Assuming I haven’t blown it entirely.

“Alicia,” I command. “Tell her I’m here. I need to talk to her.”

“Oh…” Alicia’s brows crinkle. “She left.”

“What do you mean she left ? Her car is in the driveway.” I jerk a thumb over my shoulder as panic begins to squeeze my ribcage. She’s been ignoring my texts and my calls. But seeing her car in the driveway was my one source of comfort yesterday. It told me that she was still here and that I still had a chance. And now that chance seems to be quickly slipping from my fingers.

My entire body is drowning in pins and needles as I run a shaky hand through my hair. Fucking fuck. Am I too late?

"Yeah," Alicia says, "I made her take my car. She doesn't have all wheel drive." Take her car where? How far did I run her off?

"Alicia, tell me where she went,” I demand. Aimee left .

"Cougar," Alicia says, leaning in the doorway. I’m wracking my brain trying to understand the word. Cougar what ?

“Where?” I utterly fail at masking the rising panic in my voice.

"Cougar, Washington. The city. For her race," Alicia explains.

Shit. The race. At first, I’m instantly relieved. Until I remember that Aimee’s race has a finish line. And there’s no one waiting for her there.

“Thanks, Alicia.” I leap off her porch and make a beeline for my house. I might be skipping. I’m not sure. For the first time in nine years, I’m not sitting down and taking life’s punches. I’m going after something. And it’s something worth going after.

"Wait, Finn,” Alicia calls after me. “Do you need her for something?"

"Yeah," I say over my shoulder. "I need her for everything."

Ten minutes later, I’ve thrown together an overnight bag, given the girls instructions on how to handle themselves while I’m gone, and asked Tyler to check in on them. I toss my bag into the van as I hop in. I yell last minute instructions to Ruby as I pull out of the driveway. She’s huffing, and puffing, and rolling her eyes like her life depends on it.

I pull out of the neighborhood and head towards the direction of the I-5 onramp. That’s when I realize I have no idea where this race actually is. Or what it’s called. I only know it’s near Mt. St. Helens. A quick Google search tells me there's only one race there this weekend and it starts at the Marble Mountain Sno Park Trailhead. I'm about to put the coordinates into my phone when I hear tires screeching in front of me. My entire body jolts forward. The last thing I see is the tailgate of a black pick-up. Then my vision goes dark.