When We Are Enough (Valiant Hearts #1)

45. Emmy

Chapter 45

Emmy

M y mom’s gaze sweeps over the streetscape, taking in the storm damage and the worn-down charm of Granny Sloane’s modest house. There’s no hint of emotion on her perfectly made-up face. It’s like she’s stepped out of a different world entirely, one that has no place for hurricanes or small-town struggles.

“Emmy.” Her gaze lands on me again. Heavy. “We were worried about you.”

“Hi, Mom.” Something is knotting and unknotting inside my chest at the unexpected sight of her. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“We’re on our way to the beach house for the weekend and thought a surprise visit was in order.” She remains where she is, ten yards away on the sidewalk, making no move to come closer. “You barely call. We have no idea what’s going on with your little life out here.”

I glance at Mike, who is looking increasingly uncomfortable, and then back at my mother. “Well, here I am.” I force a smile. “Everything’s good.”

“Emmy, why don’t you invite your parents in for a coffee so we can meet them?” Nora is wearing a bright smile and has stepped out onto the porch, gaze on my mother, the driver still patiently holding the door open. She glances at Mike, and he smiles at her. “How about you, you big lug? Coffee?”

“Uh, I gotta get back to the garage. But thanks, Nora. Say hi to your mom for me.” Mike shoots me an apologetic glance before heading down the street on foot, pausing by my mother and offering her a quick: “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

My father steps out of the car as Mike disappears down the street, his expression as unreadable as my mother’s. He nods at me, a perfunctory greeting, and then looks around with a slight frown, as if the surroundings are distasteful to him. He stands tall, his light, almost white blond hair, silver running through it, catching the morning light.

His familiar face, sharp and angular, with a strong jawline and deep-set green eyes, turns back in my direction. He is dressed in a white linen shirt and gray trousers, a dark coat over the top, scarf knotted casually around his neck. Despite his relatively neutral expression, there is a hint of disapproval in his gaze as he stares at me.

Maddy follows him out of the car, and the sight of her knocks the wind right out of me. She stands there beside Mom and Dad, perfectly beautiful, with a slick of red lipstick and her hair swept back. I feel smaller, dowdy, as all the self-doubts I’ve been wrestling with about my situation here in Harbor’s Edge suddenly magnify.

“I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before you do something that hurts them.”

Nora steps forward, walking past me, curly blond hair loose and bouncing against her shoulders, breaking the impasse. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Brooks, Mr. Brooks. I’m Nora.”

My mother’s eyes flick to Nora, assessing her with the same cold detachment. “Charmed,” she says, though her tone suggests the opposite. “You can call me Clara. This is Emmy’s sister, Maddy. My husband is Doctor Philip Brooks. ”

Nora steps forward with a warm smile, kissing first my mother and then Maddy on the cheek. “Lovely to meet you,” she says, before turning to my father, holding out her hand. The ordinariness of it all makes the scene all the more surreal. This is my world. A place where I’m carving out a new life. They shouldn’t be here, shaking hands, accepting kisses on the cheek.

“Dr. Philip Brooks.” He shakes Nora’s hand with a polite nod.

“Please, come in for breakfast,” Nora says, even though it’s clear to me they’d rather do whatever it is they came to do and then leave. My insides are so tight, it’s like I’m being squeezed dry. I’m just glad Patrick isn’t here to witness this, too.

Mom and Dad exchange a look before they agree, their expressions revealing thinly veiled impatience, while Maddy bites her lip, not looking in my direction. They all file into the house after Nora, me walking reluctantly behind them.

This is bad. My parents and sister have no place here in Harbor’s Edge.

After Ruby picks up Stormy to stop him jumping on my parents, we’re all sitting around the kitchen table. Ruby pours coffee for them, but they decline all offers of food, their presence making the small kitchen feel crowded, and I’m not sure how to move in this space with them here, too.

Mom looks around with a tight smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “We won’t stay long. We just wanted to pick Emmy up and take her to our beach house for the weekend.”

I shake my head, the knot in my chest twisting tighter. “I’m working, Mom. I can’t just leave. This is my job.”

Her expression hardens, the familiar look of disapproval settling in the lines of her face. “I’m sure they can do without you for a couple days. You should stop trying to prove a point by staying here.”

A thick silence falls over the room. Ruby looks confused and worried, glancing between me and my mother, while Granny Sloane just stares at my mom. She puts Stormy on the ground, telling him to, “Sit,” and looks up at me.

“It’s okay,” Ruby says gently, like I’m something that might break, or even worse, explode, making a mess all over the neatness of Granny Sloane’s house. I’m wearing my best poker face, but it’s obviously not enough.

“If you need to go, we understand. You haven’t had a proper day off since you arrived.” She reaches down to stroke Stormy, who’s lying on the ground between her chair and Granny Sloane’s.

Mom nods. “Exactly. And I’ve got no doubt they’ll be able to cope with you gone.” She turns to Ruby. “I hope she hasn’t been any trouble. She needed to get out of Philadelphia after everything that happened with her fiancé, so we tolerated this little…”

Mom waves her hand in the air, searching for the right word before shrugging and giving Ruby a look like they’re in cahoots, both struggling to deal with me and my flights of fancy.

Ruby shakes her head, the look of confusion back. “Trouble? No, Emmy has been incredible. We’re blessed to have her, and I understand why you want her for the weekend. You must miss her a lot. I know I would if she was my daughter.”

Ruby’s eyes meet mine and the look she gives me thaws a little of the ice that’s started crystalizing in my veins.

Mom just blinks for a few long seconds, then nods like she finally gets it, that Ruby is just being polite. “We’ll be glad to get her out of your hair.”

I stare at my mother, all the words I want to say bubbling just below the surface. I’m an adult. This is my job, one I work hard at and am good at. The people in this home actually care about me and like me, and she should just leave and call next time she wants to see me to make sure I’m free.

But I don’t know how many of those things are actually true.

The decades of conditioning, the admonishments not to make a scene, keep me quiet and pinned in my seat. Ruby and Granny Sloane exchange a look, and Nora just stares at my mother, a small frown marring her otherwise beautiful face.

Maddy has the good graces to at least look a little embarrassed, and sips her coffee before shifting the conversation. “How did the town fare during the hurricane? We saw a lot of damage when we drove through.”

Nora offers up a diplomatic smile. “We had quite a bit of damage, but the community has been working hard to clear out the worst of it. We’re aiming to have everything ready for the Founder’s Day Festival in about a month. It’s just before Christmas, and it’s a big event for us.”

“Oh,” my mother says, pushing her coffee mug away and glancing at her watch. “It sounds… quaint.” My father remains silent beside her.

“You should come back for the festival,” Nora continues, a genuine smile banishing her previous frown. “Emmy is even participating in the pageant. My money is on her for the win.”

The ice inside me freezes over completely, a numbness spreading through my limbs and settling deep into my bones. I wish I could sink into the floor and disappear. Turn into nothing. Go somewhere dark and alone and press a blade against the scars that have stayed closed but are screaming to be opened.

My mother’s expression turns critical, her lips pursing into a tight line, her head shaking slightly in that all-too-familiar gesture of disappointment and disapproval. Her eyes bore into mine, cold, stripping away any pretense of composure I might have clung to.

“I’m surprised Emmy agreed to enter a pageant.” Her gaze ticks to me, Nora, and then back to me. “I just hope you won’t have one of your episodes when the pressure gets too much for you. Your therapist said to avoid any situations that might trigger you. You were never really cut out for the pageant circuit, not like Maddy.”

The words hang in the air, coalescing, a dark cloud that makes it hard to breathe. Everything is imploding around me. It’s as if the real, flawed version of myself is being publicly flogged in front of the O’Connors, dragged around, bleeding and naked, so everyone can see the ugly truth.

The humiliation is almost unbearable. I didn’t need Patrick to tell them about all my issues, what a mess I am. My own mother’s the one that’s thrown me to the monster, the sharp of its teeth grazing the bare skin of my arms, clawing up the inside of my legs.

The silence has stretched too long, everyone is staring at me.

“I’ve been fine for a long time.” Voice low, my eyes locked on a ring left by a hot mug on the table, the circle faded but still there, no matter how many times we’ve tried to clean it.

“Mom,” Maddy says, shaking her head, shooting me a look I can’t interpret.

Desperate to escape, I stand up abruptly. “I’ll come for the weekend.” My voice is strained. “As long as Ruby and Granny Sloane are okay with that.”

Ruby nods slowly, her eyes filled with concern. She must be worried I’m about to cause a scene, no doubt regretting hiring me, a hot mess with so many issues. She’ll need some time to figure out the best way to fire me. “Of course. If you need to go, if you want to go, we’ll be here when you get back.”

Mom and Dad are already standing, thanking Ruby for the coffee.

“Where are you going to be staying?” Nora looks at me like she can see right through me and I quickly look away, before scribbling the address on a piece of paper.

I can barely meet Ruby’s or Granny Sloane’s eyes. Heading to my room, packing a small bag, my body heavy with a mix of anger, shame.

The bag in one hand, I pause in Patrick’s doorway and stare into his empty room. Memories of our stolen moments, falling for him, flood my mind.

I wish, despite everything, that I could help him see that the world will keep spinning if he takes a day off, that nothing bad is going to happen if he takes his eye off the damned ball for a little while. But my role in his life is over. Too much has come to pass now. He knows too much. More than anyone ever has before him, and the real, raw, ugly parts of me are just too unloveable.

Besides, now that my parents have brought some of the drama that always seems to follow me to the O’Connors, there’s no future for me in Harbor’s Edge. They know the truth about me, know how it was a mistake to hire me, that I just ruin everything around me, like poison. I need to resign before they find out about Patrick and it all gets even worse.

I was fooling myself. There’s no fresh start for someone like me.

I close my eyes, the sense of life spinning out of control overwhelming. There’s only one thing I can do before I leave to try to minimize the hurt and damage: I need to find Patrick and end it.

My mother’s calling me from the front yard, so I offer a quick goodbye, knowing this might be the last time I see the O’Connors but unable to linger, before heading out the front door. I’ll take my own car so I can go past the station and have the conversation we need to have, before meeting Mom, Dad, and Maddy at the beach house.

It’s time to do some damage control to stop myself from hurting this family who have already been through so much.