Who’s Your Daddy (Secret santa daddy, season four)

Chapter 5

Terrence

Santa knew how to creatively punish me…I definitely preferred being rewarded and bribed better, so we were going to have to work on that going forward.

“Grumpy Guy seems like the type to hold a grudge over being fucked with.” Leander had a point but that didn’t mean I had to like it.

“But—”

“Don’t tell me that you’re getting so much attention.” Leander’s jealousy was showing through.

For some reason, he seemed to think I was greedy for wanting to keep all of them. It was ridiculous, but he was stubborn.

“Fine.” I wasn’t going to test the patience of a crazy man. “My afternoon is going to be blown if I don’t figure out how to fix this, though.”

“I should not know that you want an orgasm every afternoon.” Leander’s dramatic grumbling made me roll my eyes. “Your Secret Santa shouldn’t know that either.”

Hmm.

“Santa is magic. Everyone knows that.” Duh. It was the only explanation. “Some of that has to rub off on Secret Santas too.”

Leander groaned. “You’re too smart to believe something that dumb.”

“I’m smart enough to believe anything I want.” He was such a party pooper. “I have a very good imagination. Thank you very much.”

His was in short supply, though.

“How does your Secret Santa know you need orgasms every afternoon?” Leander didn’t let me answer before he just kept going. “What did you tell your contractors? Which one did you tell? How did that come up in conversation?”

He needed less caffeine in his life.

“I don’t know.” That was honestly still a mystery. “I’m very quiet and I don’t think I’ve mentioned it.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“Yes, you have.”

Oh dear.

“What was that?” Leander’s voice went up to an ear-shattering pitch. “Oh god. They heard you. That was your contractor.”

“Well, that was actually two of them.” I wasn’t completely sure which ones, though. “They sound a lot alike, but I think it was the tall one and the short one?”

The giggler generally had a slightly higher pitch to his voice unless he was moaning over cookies.

“God, Terrence.” Leander sounded like he was rubbing his face as he sighed. “Okay, what did they say?”

I wasn’t sure if he wanted something else to complain about or to actually help, but since I’d called him, I decided it would be rude to try to figure that out first. “Well, one told me that I was louder than I think and the other told me I’d mentioned it.”

I had questions.

“Maybe I was too honest when one of them asked me where I was going?” They were all kind of nosy. “I don’t always think to lie.”

It took so much mental effort and most of the time my brain was full of more important things.

What to have for dinner?

What was going on in Washington?

Why did we have to eat vegetables before dessert?

What were our options for getting all the junk out of orbit?

“You need to start practicing that more again.” Leander sighed. “The stuff you make me say.”

I hadn’t made him into a drama queen…he’d done that on his own.

“You realize they heard way too much of our conversation, right?” Leander had a point and it made me think.

“Can you guys work up a quote for some soundproofing? I know that might have to wait a while, but I just realized that’ll be important if I ever get guests staying over.”

“ Yes .”

I really should’ve had to ask that louder to get a response from the grumpy one.

“Okay, yes. They can hear entirely too much.” But it made me wonder if they were quieter than they should’ve been or if I’d just learned to tune them out. “They’ll fix that, though. They’re very good at their job.”

I didn’t even have to raise my voice to get a round of thank yous from downstairs.

Leander was still being dramatic and had settled on groaning, so I decided not to worry about his opinion at the moment.

Being polite to my Secret Santa seemed more important. “You’re welcome.”

Now what?

Remembering to drop my voice this time, I whispered to Leander and hoped he could hear me over his groans. “What do you think about just asking flat out about my Santa Daddy thing? It’s not conventional but I want my toys back and you had a good point about the whole sex with a real person thing.”

That had him finally taking a deep breath.

He liked being right more than he liked being dramatic.

“I think it will only work if you ask it right. You don’t want to accidentally hurt his feelings.” Leander made another good point and it was my turn to groan.

He liked that too.

“Yep, you make him feel bad and he’s not going to be a fit Santa to fuck.” He sighed. “Not for a while at least. But on the upside, people don’t stay mad at you long. Look at me.”

He was on a roll.

“Yeah, you’re right about that too.” I was a pain in the ass, but I was a loveable pain in the ass. “I don’t want to hurt any of their feelings, and not just because they need to finish my kitchen.”

We were so close.

“ We won’t get pissy and leave you hanging .” Someone was feeling very confident and had very good hearing.

Once everyone else finished chiming in, I explained the situation to Leander. “They agreed not to get upset with me and take it out on my kitchen if I upset someone.”

“God.” Leander went back to making dramatic sounds, so I decided to ignore him for the time being and climbed off my slightly wonky bed. “You have the weirdest life.”

That was never my fault.

“I can’t be held responsible for other people doing stupid things.” Or weird things. Or illegal things. “I work and live my life.”

I just kept running into strange roadblocks as I did it.

“Okay, let’s go figure out who’s going to fuck me.” That didn’t seem to help Leander’s drama situation, but it got laughter from downstairs.

It was nice to hear that they approved of the plan at the very least.

“And buy me toys.” I might’ve said that louder than I needed to, but I wanted to make sure the Daddy side of my Secret Santa Daddy understood the plan too. “Grown-up ones and little ones.”

The younger one giggled again, but as I came down the stairs, his head peeked out from around the wall and he grinned even wider. “He will. He likes buying stuff.”

Hmm.

“I’m going to take that to mean you’re not my Secret Santa?” I was glad when he shook his head.

“Nope. Not it.” He didn’t seem worried or upset about that either, which I thought was a good thing.

“You’re cute, but you’re a bit young for me. I’m glad you’re not my Daddy.” But fucking with him was fun, so I kissed his cheek as I passed him. “Did I mention you’re cute?”

And he giggled again.

Oh, and I got a blush.

That was fun too.

Bouncing through the house, I didn’t get far before the short one appeared like magic. He was smiling too big to be my Santa. “You’d be very good to cuddle with but you’re not my Secret Santa Daddy.”

He laughed and nodded. “You wanted to say something naughtier. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Shh.” He was too much of a tattletale to be a Daddy. “You’ll get me in trouble.”

I was going to do that well enough on my own.

“Not your Daddy, so not my problem.” The short one wandered off in the direction of the young one, so I kept going.

The tall one.

“Monkeys don’t have sex with trees.” He shrugged and tried to look bored, but he winked as he walked toward the front door.

“You’re so smart.” And tall, but size didn’t make a Daddy.

“I’d rather be cute.” Shaking his head as the young one giggled from the front of the house, he wandered off too.

He was cute, but I wasn’t going to push my new Daddy’s patience.

I could hear him grumbling in the kitchen and he was not a happy Santa at the moment…but jealousy was sexy too, so I wasn’t going to worry just yet.

“My Secret Santa is the cutest but being tall is very nice too.” Some of us just couldn’t help that all our energy had gone into being fabulous instead.

“And he’s very broad and he’s going to make me very happy when I finally make him smile.” Oh, he liked that.

That sigh said we were moving in the right direction.

“I found you.” Giving him a big smile helped but I made sure to leer at him just a bit too. “I’m glad I was right.”

“For fuck’s sake. Tell him you wanted him to be your Secret Santa from the get-go so I can get off the fucking phone without worrying!” Leander’s patience seemed to have disappeared because his volume was off the charts.

“Fine.” Rolling my eyes, I smiled at my new Daddy. “I told Leander that I was hoping you were my Secret Santa Daddy right after I got my bear.”

Daddy raised one eyebrow. “Really?”

Ridiculous.

But I put Leander on speakerphone anyway. “Tell him the truth. He’s not going to believe me.”

“Because you always look like you’re lying.” Leander was definitely rolling his eyes, but he pulled through. “Yes, that’s what you said and you even had stupid logic to go with it.”

He was so frustrating sometimes.

“But he has no idea what your name is.” Laughing as I huffed, Leander chose that moment to disconnect the call.

“Tattletale.” He was such a brat, but I wasn’t worried. I could come back from something simple like a name issue.

Setting my phone on my pretty new counter, I walked slowly over to my new Daddy and gave him a flirty smile, stopping just close enough to be tempting. “See? I told you the truth. I wanted it to be you. Oh, and my logic wasn’t stupid.”

Leander was just jealous.

“Were you ever going to tell me that you didn’t remember my name?” Daddy didn’t sound any more grumpy than usual, so I took that as a good sign.

“No. I was hoping it would come up in conversation somehow.” I shrugged when he rolled his eyes. “Eventually, you’d have to introduce yourself to someone else.”

It was a good plan and had worked in the past, so his disbelief was completely unwarranted.

“I introduced myself when we first met.” He seemed very confident about that but I shook my head. “What do you mean?”

I was glad he didn’t just tell me I was being stupid or something, so I gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “You’re such a good Daddy.”

He rolled his eyes a lot, though.

“Don’t distract me.”

I was never going to promise that, so I just kept going. “I talked to all of you at least once before the job started but that was usually on the phone. I couldn’t match a face with a name. I even looked on your website.”

Leander said finding them through social media would’ve been stalking…I still disagreed with him on that, but I’d promised to let him be the final arbiter of anything that might land me in jail.

Again.

My job said stupid shit was an excuse I could only use once to get compliance off my back about the landing in jail thing.

“Our faces aren’t matched with names on the site.” Realizing that made my grumpy Daddy sigh again. “The woman designing the site said putting our faces on it too much would get us the wrong kind of clients.”

Hmm.

More women troubles…but I was going to ignore that as long as I got to keep him.

“And when you all get in a room, you talk over each other.” A lot. “The stories get confusing and no one ever finishes the story they started. Someone else always does. And do you know the only stories you tell about exes are about women? That’s confusing too.”

He paused, head cocking to the side. “We have worse taste in women than we do men, so there are more stories. Oh, and I’m supposed to confirm to you that we’re all bi. And cousins. Orlando wasn’t sure you realized that part.”

Orlando was the smartest…whichever one he was.

“You don’t know who that is, do you?” Before I could answer, he did it himself. “No. You don’t. He’s the baby cousin.”

“Oh, the one who giggles when I walk in.” Hmm. “I haven’t said anything inappropriate to him. Honest.”

Daddy gave me another very Daddy look. “I know you believe that.”

Hmm.

“I do. So I can’t be punished.”

What had I said to Orlando?

“We’re going to negotiate that later in the rules and limits conversation, but for the time being, I will agree with the not punishing you for being inappropriate with all of my cousins part.” Daddy had folded his arms across his chest, but there was something happy in his eyes that said he wanted to laugh.

“I’m just going to make sure you know that we both have to agree to rules and punishments, and I’m going to include definitions in there too.” Yep, that was going to end up being important in the long run. “So you need to really think about that inappropriate part.”

His lips twitched.

Oh, that was just as sexy as I’d imagined.

“Well, what do you think is important to consider?”

Hmm.

“I kept my clothes on around other people.” I’d kept my clothes on around him too, but pointing that out didn’t seem like it would be helpful. “I haven’t touched anyone’s grown-up places.”

Face cheeks didn’t count.

“I haven’t even complimented bulges or anything like that.” His family was all very well-endowed, though.

I only knew that because they wore their pants entirely too tight.

So if he was going to start getting nitpicky about my behavior, he was going to have to buy new pants.

“Those are very good points.” Daddy’s immediate recognition of my good behavior made me think he needed rewards too.

“And I didn’t even say the word sex toys around your cousins even though they stole my sex toys.” That had to count for a lot too.

Daddy’s hands came up in front of him and he automatically took a step back. “I had nothing to do with that.”

He wasn’t the steal a dildo type of guy, so I nodded…and moved forward again because he was suddenly too far away. “You are much more well-behaved than that. But I have not had my afternoon orgasm yet and it’s almost dinner. So that needs to get handled.”

One way or another.