Why Not Now? (The Blue Vista Crew #2)

16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Derek

I ’ve been avoiding my phone as much as possible lately—partly to ignore the calls from my father, coming every couple of days now, and partly to resist the urge to call Ava. We’ve been adhering to the friends-with-benefits arrangement and I’ve decided I hate it.

When I wake this morning, five days since I last saw Ava, the desire to see her is so strong, I know I have to do something different. I don’t want just sex from her. I don’t want to only be friends. I want more. I want it all. Everything I thought I’d lost for good when she’d told me to leave.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot since Monday, how she’d known when I was upset and hadn’t pushed for information, simply offered comfort. She’d always been like that—it was one reason I’d fallen in love with her originally, the way she’d be there for you when you need her.

That hasn’t changed in the last few years. She still puts other people ahead of herself. She still sticks around when things are difficult. She still has that same drive that always impressed me.

And, as I suspected would happen, I am completely, utterly in love with her.

Not that I intend to tell her. We’ve just started things back up. I need to give it time. I need to give her time. I’ve always loved how independent she is, but it’s become like an armour and I’m afraid if I try to get past it, she’ll tell me to leave again.

I can’t spend another week like this last one though, not seeing or speaking to her. As of today, I’m starting Operation: Win Ava Back. But I have to move slow.

She’s coming over to my house to watch Christmas movies and decorate. And while we still have the Make-Ava-Love-Christmas events scheduled, I’m planning a few more things now, as well. Including no more radio silence between outings, and, with Lacey’s help, decorating her house in a couple days. I’m going to remind her I’m here for her, whatever she needs.

I get things ready for today. Between the calls from my father and the lack of calls with Ava, I elect to wear my glasses instead of my contacts, a decision that’s reinforced every time I rub the grittiness from my eyes. I have the boxes of decorations set out and I’m sorting through them when there’s a knock on my door. I answer it to find Ava in a pretty green sweater with white at the hem and collar. She smiles when she sees me and I take her hand, simply to touch her again after five days without her.

“You’re early,” I say as she comes in.

“Is that a problem?”

“Of course not. I just didn’t expect you for another couple hours.”

She leans toward me, pressing her body against mine. “I got home from work and Lacey had already gone to her friend’s house. She’s staying the night. I couldn’t come up with a reason to stay home and figured we could make use of the extra hours.”

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her deeply. She arches into me, making me forget everything I’d planned for the evening. After a minute where my brain has completely disconnected and my cock has taken over, I remember something.

“Wait,” I say, breathless.

“What’s wrong?”

“We can’t. I’m expecting someone else.”

I don’t miss the way her face pales and I realize what I’ve said. “Shit, Ava. That’s not what I mean.”

She’s already taken a step back. “No, it’s okay. We don’t have any claim on each other.”

She’s wrong. Even if we haven’t talked about it, she has a huge claim on me. And I want to claim her, but she’s backing away toward the door, not letting me explain. I blame my disconnected brain for fucking this up so entirely.

“Ava. That’s not—”

I’m saved from my own idiocy when the person I’d been waiting for comes in the front door without knocking.

“Hey, Derek,” Lis says. “Come get this stuff. Oh, hi Ava. You’re early.”

Ava looks between me and Lis. “So I’ve been told.”

“Here,” Lis says, holding up a bag to me. “Make yourself useful.”

I take the bag. “Are there any more?” I ask.

“Yes. In the car. Set that in the kitchen and come with me.”

Ava looks interested now in what’s happening. Hopefully, she’s figured out that I’d not been planning to fuck someone else right before she was set to come over. I follow Lis to her car and bring in another three bags.

“Do I really need all this?” I ask as we bring the bags to the kitchen. Ava stands at the end near the dining room watching the proceedings as Lis lays out what she brought.

“Probably not, but I like to be prepared.” She hands me a piece of paper where she’s written instructions. I go to take it from her, but she holds on to it until I meet her eyes. “I do not give this to just anyone. You share this with anyone else, I will find you and I will cut you.”

“Duly noted.” She lets go and I scan the recipe. “And you’re sure this one is easy?”

“It’s really straightforward. But baking isn’t like cooking. You have to follow the instructions exactly. Fuck around too much and it won’t turn out. Which is why I prefer cooking. Anyway, here’s everything you need.” She’s organized the ingredients into sections and points to each. “For the cookies. For the hot chocolate. For the popcorn. Remember what I said about listening to the popcorn. You have to pay close attention or you’ll burn it.”

Suddenly, she stops and looks at me. “Are you okay, Derek?”

“I’m fine.”

She arches a brow. “You’re wearing your glasses again. Do I need to call for reinforcements?”

“Everything is fine, Lis. Thank you for your concern. I promise I will sleep better tonight, and I’ll be wearing my contacts tomorrow. You’re coming right?”

“Of course.” She sends a sly look to where Ava has been watching the whirlwind that is Amaryllis Stone in my kitchen. “I’m sure you will sleep better tonight. But don’t think I’m not going to mention this to Spencer. We’re worried. All of us.” She gives me a hug. “Take care of yourself.” She goes to Ava and hugs her as well. As she’s leaving, she sings over her shoulder, “Have fun.” Then she’s gone.

After the door is closed, Ava says, “How many times has he called?”

“Twice since Monday.”

“Do you know what he wants?”

I shake my head.

“Is he usually this insistent?”

I shake my head again.

“Are you going to answer?”

Each question is soft and free of judgment. I’ve thought a lot about why he might be calling, if something has happened to him or if he just wants something again.

“I don’t know,” I finally say.

Ava steps closer, taking my hand in hers and squeezing it. Then she looks over the items Lis has brought. “I assume we are not going out tonight.”

“No. I had other plans for us.” I move toward her, my eyes devouring. “But I was also kind of interested in your plans.”

She smiles as her arms slide around my neck as soon as I’m close enough. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her against me where she belongs.

“I don’t know,” she says with a teasing look. “I’m kind of interested in your plans now.”

I nip at her lip and she sighs, melting against me.

“We can get back to my plans later,” I say, placing a kiss on her lips. “You’re here early. I wasn’t planning to start the night for another three hours. What might we possibly do with all that time?”

“I can think of a few things,” Ava says. “You’re not expecting anyone else?”

“No, sweetheart. I don’t want anyone except you.”

I don’t wonder if she hears the absolute truth in that statement, the fact that I could have easily finished it with the words ever again . I just lower my lips to hers.

Before we return downstairs, I give Ava sweatpants and one of my t-shirts to wear so she can be cozy and not get her clothes messy while baking, and I immediately understand why Spencer is always making Lis wear his clothes. Seeing her in them mostly makes me want to take them off her, but it’s also like I’ve got my name written all over her. On our way down the stairs, I ask what she wants to do first, bake cookies or decorate.

“Cookies, obviously. Then we can eat them while we decorate. What kind of cookies are we making?”

“They’re called snickerdoodles.” I grab the recipe and scan the steps, pulling the dry ingredients together. “She made these once a while back when Adalie was upset about something her brother did. They’re pretty amazing. Hopefully, we can get them as good as she made them.”

Before I begin, I call to my smart speaker to play my Christmas playlist and the song “River” by Joni Mitchell starts.

“So what’s your plan here?” she asks, standing next to me. “Put me to work to make me love Christmas? Not sure how that’s going to work for you.”

I nudge her shoulder with mine. “We’re doing fun things at home today. Baking cookies, decorating, movies. I admit, sex is not exactly Christmas themed, but it was fun.” I pause. “I wonder how to make sex Christmas themed. If I could do that, there’s no way you wouldn’t love Christmas again.”

“Cure my grinch-ness with your magic cock?” she asks.

I wink at her. “Absolutely. Here. Measure the flour.”

We set to work, laughing as flour gets everywhere and I have to wipe it from Ava’s cheek. Abyss wanders in to see why we’re so close to her food bowl without putting anything in it then takes up a spot on a chair in the dining room where she can supervise. Lis brought me a hand mixer, and I set it too high, making sugar fly out of the bowl. Hopefully not too much that it’ll cause a problem. Ava cracks the eggs like a pro and as I mix them in, I say, “I would have totally gotten shell in this if I’d tried that.”

Her hand traces up my back under my shirt as she leans into me. “I know. Why do you think I said I’d do it? I remember the time you tried to make me breakfast.”

“Took you out for breakfast after that. I’m a much better cook now. Just can’t crack an egg to save my life.”

Once the wet ingredients are ready, Ava pours in the dry ingredients then places her hand over mine before I can start the mixer. “Remember our lesson from the sugar.”

I laugh and lean down to kiss her. Which was a mistake, because I let go of the mixer completely to deepen the kiss and it falls out of the bowl, making a bigger mess. We laugh more as we clean up.

I mix the cookie dough and Ava preps the cinnamon and sugar topping. We roll the cookies in the topping and put them in the oven. By the time I’m done tidying up, the kitchen smells like cinnamon and sugar and the first batch is ready to come out.

“Moment of truth,” I say. “Lis is going to be pissed if I didn’t get this right.”

Ava snorts. “I’m sure she’ll be fine as long as you don’t tell anyone you used her recipe.” She picks up a cookie and bites into it, her eyes widening in surprise before closing in bliss. “Oh, my god, these are so forking good.”

“Oof, language, sweetheart.” I take a bite of one as well. It’s hot, but Ava’s right. We did well on these. I grab a container out of the cupboard and place three inside.

“Who are those for?” Ava asks as she grabs a second cookie.

“One for Lis to show her we did a good job, and two for Lacey since she couldn’t come tonight. Though I’m kind of glad she didn’t because if she had, I wouldn’t have been able to come tonight.”

Ava laughs again. It’s nice to hear the sound, to see her so relaxed. “What about the rest of your friends?” she asks around a mouthful of snickerdoodle.

“Fuck them. Let them make their own goddamn cookies.” I pull her close until her body is flush with mine. “I don’t like to share my sweets.”

The air becomes charged. Ava sets her cookie down and runs her fingers into my hair, pulling my head toward her until our lips are a millimeter apart. “Neither do I,” she whispers.

Our mouths crash together, the kiss a frenzy of lips and teeth and tongues. It’s been less than an hour since we had sex and I want to take her again right here in my kitchen.

Then the timer on my phone goes off, forcing us apart, gasping for breath. I take the second batch of cookies out of the oven and turn it off. When I look back at Ava, she’s still watching me like she wants to keep going where we’d started. The only sound is the song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” playing from my speakers.

“Options,” I say as I transfer these cookies to the cooling rack Lis has also loaned me. “We can continue with the night as planned. Next up is decorating while watching a Christmas movie, followed by more Christmas movies.” I put the last cookie on the wire rack and turn to her. “Or we can finish what we just started.”

Her gaze drops to my lips as she thinks about it. I’m honestly torn between which I want her to choose, but as with everything else, I’ll do whichever she asks.

“Finishing what we started sounds good, but you went through all this trouble to set up something fun.” Her gaze lifts back to mine. “And we’ve got all night.”