Wildflowers and Wide Receivers

11. Jonah

Chapter 11

Jonah

I t’s been two days since I last saw Sophie and I’m annoyed with myself about how much I think about her. It feels wrong and useless knowing she’s with someone else, but I can’t seem to stop. She will forever be my the one who got away , and for that alone I seem to be torturing myself. I have no one to blame but myself, but even if I did try to rewrite history, I’m not sure that I would or could have changed anything. That was such a horrible time in my life. Emotionally, I was spent with what I had, and to top it off, that was the year we lost the Super Bowl and Jack to an injury. At the time, Jack was a beloved starting wide receiver on our team. He was tackled in such a way that it blew out his knee to where he had to be carted off and it ended his career.

Everyone in that stadium felt the shock and horror of that injury. Some nights when I lie in bed I still see it play out from the replay on the jumbotron. Talk about my worst fear coming true.

But besides that, there is the absolute situation that Vivi and I are a package deal. A package that I think is amazing, but others might not see it that way. And reality is, Sophie and I had only spent one night together. There was no real foundation, we weren’t even friends, I just really really liked her. From the moment I saw her, I wanted to know her, it’s just too bad I didn’t get the chance. Which has me turning full circle again. She's the one that got away.

Dating is hard. And whereas it wasn’t scary before, now it is. I don’t even know if I’m ready for it, but with the increasing thoughts of Sophie, even though I know she’s unavailable, I might be getting closer. Or maybe it’s just that I want to be close to her. Who knows. No one has piqued my interest in years, but her. Only her.

“I saw her on Saturday,” I unconsciously blurt out to my friends, and then cringe. While I love my friends, they can be a bit meddlesome and gossipy. It’s hard to keep secrets on a team like ours, everyone talks to everyone and everyone is up in everyone’s business.

“Saw who?” Sully asks. His feet are propped up on the ottoman in front of him as we watch golf highlights on ESPN and eat barbecue. I put a pork shoulder on the smoker yesterday and let it slow cook all night and most of today. It makes the most delicious pulled pork, which is something that Vivi will eat if I leave the sauce off it.

I wasn’t surprised that in addition to Tyler, Sully and Camden made their way over after I mentioned it in the locker room.

“You know who,” Tyler says, smirking at me and taking a bite of his sandwich. Add in some Publix baked beans, potato salad, mac and cheese for my mini, and a bag of chips, this is the perfect meal.

Yesterday, Tyler took Vivi and me out on the boat, and of course Vivi hit him up for a candy bar in which she innocently announced that she’d already sold some to Camille and Sophie. His eyes widened at this information, but I didn’t engage. Even though he tried to coax it out of me, several times, in fact. That is until now.

“The hot doctor?” Sully asks, looking at me curiously.

Since our run-in back at Vivi’s appointment, the guys have affectionately coined her the hot doctor. At first I was pissed and repeatedly told them to knock it off, but all that did was fuel them even more.

“Yep.”

My heart rate picks up a little just mentioning her out loud and I glance out into the small backyard to find Vivi and Molly. It’s been a week and I swear this dog is the playmate she’s never had. The two of them are inseparable.

“And?” he probes, taking another bite of his sandwich.

I shrug. “She bought a candy bar from Vivi.”

His face lights up and I can’t help but to reciprocate and crack a smile of my own. Tyler’s looking at me like he knows the answers to all the world’s problems, but Camden says nothing. He’s always been more of the “listen more and talk less” kind of guy.

“By the look on your face, I’m assuming she gave you more than just her money.”

“No, but . . .” I don’t know what to say. There really isn’t anything.

“But what?” Camden chimes in, standing to go wander back into the kitchen for more food.

“They’re trying to ask if you got her number.” Tyler rolls his eyes.

“I do have her number,” I tell them, already knowing how this conversation is going to go. And if Tyler opens his mouth to tell them that I’ve actually had it longer, I might just have to kill him.

“Have you texted her yet?” Sully asks.

I don’t know why it’s so hard to tell them this, but it is. “No.”

The three of them look at each other, and then they look at me. I’m so uncomfortable, I want to kick each of them out of my house. I know I asked for this by blurting out that I saw her, but still.

“Why not? You should have texted her that night,” Sully says, looking at me and pinning me with his knowing blue eyes.

The thing about Sully, he’s a tank of a guy. To be a defensive tackle and on the line, you have to be. For all intents and purposes, his appearance makes him kind of scary, but when he looks at you with those clear blue eyes, it’s almost calming. They give off kind vibes and instantly that scary shifts to big teddy bear.

“I know. I’m just not sure what to say.”

“How old are you, five?” Camden asks. “Never mind, I take that back, even five-year-olds know how to talk to a pretty girl,” he says, plopping back down on the couch with a full plate of food.

“Yeah, and word on the street is that you’ve seen her several times now,” Sully says on the sly, meanwhile Tyler snickers.

My head jerks to look at him and he throws his hands up. “It wasn’t me.”

Everyone knows about my night from two years ago with Sophie, regardless of the fact that I told them nothing. I became an interest to them when I went from a recluse player to spinning her around the dance floor. Apparently, my actions made me an enigma to the teammates at the party and it was discussed at length.

“Darius?” It could be him; he is a busybody and a gossiper who overheard Tyler and me talking at the training facility.

“Nope.” Sully’s smirk stretches into a full-blown smile. He’s enjoying this and I give him a look that lets him know I don’t think this is funny. “It was Reid. He was mentioning it to Bryan and others overheard.”

That makes more sense given the fact that Sophie and Camille are friends.

“What else did he say?” I ask him, but it’s Camden who chimes in.

“I overheard this from Bryan. From what Lexi told him, after your little run-in at her office, she called Camille to find out all the scoop about you.”

Did you hear the needle just scratch across the record to halt time? Because I swear I did and my jaw drops.

“She did?”

“Yep and that was a couple of weeks ago.”

Not a couple. Now it was a lot. A lot of weeks ago we had that run-in at her office. Was this before or after I asked if I could see her again? Regret stings like an old wound that I waited so long to initiate another conversation with her. Then again, now she’s seeing someone, so it’s not like it would have mattered.

“And you’re just now thinking to tell me this?” I ask him.

He shrugs. “Apparently, she thought Vivi was your daughter.”

And with that, he just confirms every worry I’ve ever had. She didn’t know about John, she didn’t know how my life completely imploded, and all this time she thought I used her and ghosted her.

My heart sinks into my stomach.

I know I’m in the wrong here, I should have had someone reach out to her to let her know I wasn’t coming. In the perfect world, she would have seen something or heard something, since we do have overlapping friends, and understood, but that’s not what happened. I don’t blame her for not coming to find me, if the roles were reversed, I certainly wouldn’t.

I should probably answer him with something, but I have nothing to say.

Seeing my mood drop, he throws his hand across the back of the couch and studies me before asking, “So what are you going to do about it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You like this girl,” Camden states as if it was that simple.

“Yeah, well, she’s got a boyfriend.”

“How do you know?” His brows rise.

“Because, despite what you think, I actually did make a move. I asked her if I could see her again and she told me she was dating someone. Case closed.”

“But is it really?” he asks suspiciously and I let out a deep sigh.

Maybe I could text her. I glance at my phone which is lying on the coffee table.

“Do it. Do it. Do it,” Sully chants.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” I tell him, but I pick up my phone and pull up her name.

The text thread is obviously blank and it taunts me.

“Quit staring at it. It’s just a text.”

Tyler is watching me, staying quiet. He knows me the best and he knows not to push.

Sucking in a deep breath, I type the words and press send. My heart is pounding in my chest.

This reaction is so stupid. It’s just a text. A text to a girl who I really like.

Hey, it’s Jonah. I just wanted to say thank you again for buying the candy bar.

“Did you hit send?” Sully asks.

I glare at him like he’s suddenly annoying when he’s anything but.

Tyler chuckles, but still he reaches over and pats me on the shoulder.

“This feels ridiculously like a therapy session.”

“You still going to those?” Sully asks.

“No, I’m not. But Vivi still is. She’s better for sure, but she’s not quite there yet. And I’d like to think that by now I know what to do and what to say to make her happy, but I don’t. She still has down days, and her therapist, I don’t have the answers like she does, and I’m man enough to admit that.”

“How often do you go?”

“We’re down to once a month.”

My phone vibrates in my hand and the screen lights up with Sophie’s name.

Tyler sees it and smirks.

Of course. How could I tell her no. Besides, peanut butter is my favorite.

“What did she say?” Sully asks.

“Nothing,” I tell him. It’s a stupid thing, but I like knowing something that is a favorite to her and I want to keep this to myself.

“She must have said something because you’ve got a stupid grin on your face.”

I ignore them all.

I knew there was a reason I liked you. Great minds think alike.

Has she sold them all yet?

No. She’s sold some to Camille, you, Tyler, Sully, and Camden. Next up, I’m unleashing her at the training facility. I don’t think there will be anything left, but if there are, I’ll cover it.

Personally, I’m traumatized from fundraisers. I was a Girl Scout and had to sell cookies.

Girl Scout you say. Cute little uniform and all?

It wasn’t cute, but yes. The problem was, we were all Girl Scouts in my neighborhood and in the same troop. We were all trying to sell cookies to the same people, so it was stressful. I once had a little old lady tell me no, that the early bird gets the worm, and it wasn’t me.

Stop.

See, traumatized.

So what you’re saying is, you’re a pro at this and next time you’ll take Vivi out? Door to door?

Ha! Not a chance.