Winter Falls (Evergreen Lake: Under the Mistletoe)

Chapter 23

twenty-three

I was stunned. I replayed our conversation and was sure I hadn’t been too insensitive, more like truthful. But now I was sorry I’d broached the subject at all. Everybody grieved in different ways and for different lengths of time. His grief was twenty years old and maybe he hadn’t even had the opportunity to fully mourn his loss because he’d been thrown in to parent right away.

I wandered around his office, wondering where he was going to sleep if not in here. There was lots of space in the great room, and that's where I’d planned to sleep. In here was definitely more private.

I opened the closet and pulled out the pillows and a couple of quilts to put on the couch.

There was a two-piece bathroom off the office as well so at least I didn’t have to go out searching for the facilities in the middle of the night.

I shook out the quilt, put the pillows on top, and lay down, pulling the other quilt on top of me. I think I needed to sleep. My mind was running at 100 miles an hour.

I felt just horrible. I'd upset him and lay there willing myself to go to sleep. But I couldn't. An hour later I decided there was no point, and I got and crept out into the main part of the house.

No one was there. It was empty. Where had Amos gone? In the center of the great room was a shadowy pile of boxes. They hadn't been there before so I wandered over to check it out. The glow in the fireplace gave me just enough light to see. I opened the first box and gasped, quickly opening the others. They were full of the most beautiful decorations and Christmas ornaments I've ever seen.

Amos must have gotten them out of wherever they were stored, and I sat on the floor gently removing them from their careful packaging. Strings of lights were coiled up neatly, artificial garland packed in bags, old fashioned tinsel, and so much more.

I heard someone in the pantry area, and a moment later, Ellie bounded into the room with Tess following her.

"Hey, what are you doing?" She looked in the boxes. "Oh, wow. These are some seriously gorgeous decorations."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't, I had to take her out.”

“Is it still bad out?”

“Worse. I kept her on the leash and we didn’t get past the porch.”

“Good plan. How would you like to help me decorate? Imagine the surprise when everybody wakes up in the morning." I stood and carried one of the boxes to a table.

"It's a fantastic idea."

Over the next couple of hours, we worked together, as quietly and quickly as we could, to create a Christmas Wonderland. We stood back, hands on hips, and gazed around.

"We did it," Tess said.

"Doesn't it look wonderful?" Maybe now I could get some sleep. “You can still hear that wind howling, so crazy?" I walked over to the window to look out.

"It's pretty bad. Even if the snow did stop, I don't think we'd be able to get dug out tomorrow.”

"That's why I wanted to get some decorating done if I could, for the people who won't be able to get home to their families." I paused for a second. Then looked at Tess and continued, "I'd asked Amos earlier if there were any decorations that we could use, and he got all pissy and marched out. I don't know if it was him, or Asher who brought these boxes in here."

We packed up the empty containers and put them in a corner to keep them out of the way.

"Who is Asher?" Tess asked.

"You haven't met him yet? He's Amos's brother."

"I didn't know he had a brother and I thought he didn't have any family." She flopped down on the couch and I did at the other end with Ellie between us.

"Yes, a brother and a sister my age." I reached out to twirl Ellie’s ear.

"Seems a bit of an age gap."

I nodded. "Yes, Alana came along later. We knew each other as kids because my grandmother lived here and I'd spend summers kicking around Evergreen Lake. Actually, Nana left me her house and that's where I live now."

"Really? That must be lovely, and have loads of memories. Where is Alana now?"

I shrugged, "No idea. We lost touch a number of years ago, and as far as I know, she's off jetting around the world doing all kinds of extreme things. I worried about her initially, but then with her lack of communication, and given that she was a grown woman now, I figured she could handle her own life.”

"That makes sense. Then what about the enigma that is Amos?"

"What do you mean, enigma?" I asked her.

"Obviously, I don't know him well at all, but I was expecting him to be dour. From my limited perspective, he’s been nothing but kind, warm and hospitable.”

Her observation of Amos struck me. The pain I felt for him earlier tightened around my heart again. I decided that it was Amos who brought out the decorations and games. The little things he did without any prompting were huge in my eyes. He may not think so, but I did. He was thoughtful, and considerate, even if he was all gruff and grumbly about it first. Maybe he had to ponder things, and think before doing.

But when I burned my lip, he didn’t have to think, he immediately reacted, taking my mug and cooling the hot chocolate with milk. Bringing the horses and sled to pick us up at the platform. The way he shielded me from the wind, he didn’t have to think about it he just did it. Yes, I was beginning to see a different man. One that I wanted to spend more time with.

I rested my head on the back of the couch and let my gaze wander around the room, now sparkly. The lights twinkled, the decorations we’d put up looked wonderful. We even managed to quietly get the garland and a string of lights up the stairs to the second floor. “All we need is a tree now."

“Yes, that would make everything just perfect. Imagine the tree in front of that window. It would be stunning," Tess agreed.

“It certainly would." I yawned. Finally sleep was catching up with me. "Well, I won't be the one asking to get a tree. This was hard enough."

"We could ask someone in the morning then," she suggested.

“Yeah, we could. I'm fading fast. Do you have somewhere to sleep because there's an awful big couch in the office that he told me I could use. You're welcome to join me."

"Oh, like roommates. I've done that so many times before. Sharing a room, even a bed with other people just to get off the floor."

I stood up and covered my mouth to hide another yawn. "It's just down the hall, if you feel like it."

Tess toed off her shoes and lifted her feet to the couch. Ellie shifted herself so that she was stretched out between Tess's legs and the back of the chair, her chin resting on Tess thigh. "I think I'm gonna be staying put here. A little monster has settled down and if I move, it'll be a while before she will find a spot to sleep in. Thanks anyways."

I walked over to the chair I'd been sitting on earlier and picked up the quilt.

"Here you go, to keep you warm."

"Thank you. You've got to stop yawning because it's contagious." Tess accepted the quilt. "It'll be nice and cozy here."

“OK, night then," I said and walked to the office, closing the door behind me." I flopped onto the couch, covered myself up, rolled onto my side, and was out like a light.

After putting the boxes in the great room, Amos went out to the barn. He'd sleep in the small room tonight, it was heated and comfortable. Plus, there was the bunk house, but no need to open it up. Everyone had fit perfectly into assigned rooms in the house and didn't seem to mind doubling up. This little room was warm, clean, had a bed, but a sink and toilet were in the tack room. He’d feel better keeping an eye on things out here during the storm.

It was way worse than he'd anticipated and knew there was no way the guests would be able to leave tomorrow. They'd have to spend another night until the snow stopped, the town dug out, and ploughs got on the road. The train was likely stuck there until the snow melted.

The power had flickered on and off throughout the evening, and now it was off. Asher had planned to sleep out here too, but he decided to go to the house and man the fire. It was an excellent heating source, with conduits constructed through the house from the fireplace to encourage heated air to warm up most of the rooms. It did a decent job and kept the rooms well above freezing. He'd also monitor the kitchen generator.

Amos was glad to have Asher home. Now, if only Alana was here too. He wasn't optimistic she'd be able to get in until after Christmas now.

He lay on the bed, which was surprisingly comfy, and clasped his hands behind his head. This was the first time in 20 years the house was full of people at Christmastime.

A foreign feeling of contentment swept through his body. It was fleeting, and it made him feel so good, he tried to hang onto it, but it was gone just as quickly as it came.

He recognized it as the same sensation he got when he and Holly were in each other's arms. The power of those feelings was incredible, familiar, yet so distant, and something he hadn't felt in years. Their kiss had given him a taste and he wanted more. She’d awakened feelings and thoughts in him that he thought dormant for life. Evidently, they weren’t and had been just waiting for the right moment to surge back and disrupt everything he’d fought so hard to bury.

Having someone in his life other than his siblings had crossed his mind occasionally. But with love came loss, and he’d held onto his loss all of these years. Never truly getting over it. He didn’t want to feel this loss, or ever have to face it again.

He'd left the office, annoyed as hell she’d brought up his parents. He accepted at that moment that he’d never reconciled his grief and had let it fester, and the only way he knew to deal with it was to leave. His anger had abated and in in hindsight, he began to see it from a different perspective. Thanks to Holly. Her pushing the conversation may have been just what he needed.

Had he been hanging onto the death of his parents too tightly? He'd raised Asher and Alana all by himself. Granted the town had helped out in the beginning, but responsibility for their well-being had fallen squarely on his shoulders.

All those decisions he made 20 years ago, in the best interest of his family, had led him to where he was today. And where Asher and Alana were as well. Both had done college, both had good jobs--well if you counted Alana's trooping around the planet as a travel influencer a job. But she got paid well. The decision to sell the farm was a heavy weight. The purchasers were pushing it, telling him to take the money and run. Settle in a city where everything is close in hand. Similar comments had been thrown at him over the years and he’d refused to listen.

Deep in his heart, he knew Winter Farm was the only thing they truly had. Asher and Alana were the only family members he had, and he'd been parent to them until they flown the nest.

Now he needed them home to help with this decision.