Wish I Were Here

Chapter 18

T he elevator seems to be working again. At 4:55 p.m., I take it down to the lobby, and I’m surprised to find Luca perched at the front desk instead of off on his usual errands. Next to him sits an older woman in a wheelchair holding a hand of playing cards. When Luca deals her another card, she sets her hand face down on the table, shuffles the new one into her stack, and picks it up again, all using only her left arm. She uses her left elbow to nudge another dollar into the pile in the middle.

Luca looks at his cards, raises an eyebrow at the woman, and then tosses them face down on the desk. “You’re too rich for my blood.”

With a look of glee, the woman fans her cards face up on the table, and from where I’m standing, it looks like a random assortment of numbers and suits.

“Damn, you were bluffing.” Luca shakes his head with admiration.

“That’s right,” she cackles, and her words come out slightly slurred.

Luca looks up and meets my eyes. “Catherine, this is my friend Mrs. Sterling.”

She smiles at me, and only the left side of her face curves upward. “Hello,” she says. My best guess is that she’s had a stroke.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Catherine lives upstairs,” Luca tells her.

Mrs. Sterling’s smile widens. “Is this the girl you’ve been telling me about? The pretty one you have a crush on?”

Luca turns in my direction, his lips twitching in a hint of a smile. His eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I’m back on that narrow lounge chair on the roof, his body pressed against mine.

“Well, that answers my question,” Mrs. Sterling says with another guffaw.

Luca clears his throat and begins stacking the cards. “You might have won this round, Mrs. S., but I expect a rematch tomorrow.” He helps her gather up the dollar bills she’s won and tuck them into the side pocket of the wheelchair. Finally, he raises his eyes to me. “I’m just going to get Mrs. Sterling back up to her apartment, and then we’ll head out, okay?” Grasping the handles of her wheelchair, he pushes her toward the elevator.

Just as the door closes in front of them, the one to the stairwell swings open, and Sal wanders out.

“Catherine!” he says buoyantly.

“Hi.” I gesture to the spot where Luca and Mrs. Sterling disappeared a moment ago. “The elevator is working now, you know. You don’t need to take the stairs.”

He waves me off. “Gotta get my steps in.” He shuffles over to me. “So, how’s the identity search going? You figure out who you are yet?” Between the people at the DeGreco, the community center, and apparently the whole neighborhood, I’m surprised he doesn’t already know.

I hesitate before answering. I’ve always known who I am. It’s the useless bureaucratic government system that seems confused. But then I remember the forged birth certificate and all of Dad’s secrets. Maybe I’m not so sure who I am after all. “I hope I’m getting closer.”

“Good, good.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a butterscotch candy, presenting it to me on the palm of his hand.

“Thanks,” I say, sliding it into my pocket.

Sal gives me a wave and heads toward the front door. “See you later.”

“Do you want to stay and say hi to Luca? He should be back any minute.”

“Nah,” Sal says. “I’ll see him when I get back. I’ve got to get to Banjo Night.”

I saw a flyer for Banjo Night when I was at the community center earlier. Without a program like that, would Sal just be sitting home, alone? I hope Dad can get a good group of performers together to help out with the fundraiser. It’s clear how important that place is to so many people in the neighborhood.

“Okay, have fun.” I run over to the front door to open it for Sal.

“You and Luca have fun, too,” he says as he walks past. And then he gives me a wink.

I feel my cheeks heat up again. I’m not surprised that everyone in the building knows Luca and I are spending time together. They’re all talking about this identity mystery. But we only kissed for the first time twelve hours ago. I don’t know how word traveled so fast. “We’re just—” But Sal is already shuffling slowly down the block.

I hear the ding from the elevator and turn around just in time to see Luca step off.

“You ready?” He checks the time on his phone. “It’s after five o’clock, and I’m officially off duty.”

I glance down the sidewalk one more time to make sure Sal is okay, but he’s moving faster than I expected and must have already turned the corner. I guess climbing those stairs has kept him spry.

Back in the lobby, Luca yanks off his black button-up shirt, revealing a fitted white T-shirt beneath, but for once, I’m not distracted by the flash of colorful abs that’s revealed as the hem slides up. Or at least I’m not as distracted as usual. Because I have my own outfit to worry about.

“Do I look okay?” I run a hand through my hair. When I came home from seeing Dad this afternoon, I washed and blew it dry, and then I tried on every dress in my closet. I opted for the blue to match my eyes. And maybe my mom’s eyes.

A shiver runs through me.

Luca cocks his head at me. “You look beautiful. And also like you’re about to puke. Are you okay?”

I shake my head slowly. “I have a three-decade history of picturing who my mom might be, and of building her up in my head.” I take a heavy breath. “I can’t believe I might finally get some answers.”

I would never say this part out loud—I can barely even think it because it’s so irrational—but I’m overwhelmed by how much I want her to be all those things I imagined. How much I want this wild birth certificate quest to lead me to her. And how much I want her… to want me.

“Whatever happens, it will be okay.” Luca reaches out a hand to give mine a squeeze. “You’re not alone.”

My eyes burn and my throat aches. I swallow hard and tighten my grip on his hand.

“Come on,” Luca finally says. “Let’s go get you your answers.”