Wishing for the Rancher’s Love (High Country Ranch #5)

Chapter 18

18

Grady was so irritated with himself that he could hardly sit still. How had he let the stalker get away when he’d been that close in the restaurant?

Grady leaned forward in the chair next to Clementine’s hotel room bed and braced his elbows on his knees. The churning in his gut told him the answer to his questions. He’d been so caught up in flirting with Clementine and all his feelings for her that he hadn’t been paying attention to what was going on around them.

How could he have been so foolish? If he’d stayed alert, he would have realized someone was sitting at a table nearby, might have even gotten a look at the fellow’s face.

As it was, the man was still unknown.

Grady glanced at Clementine’s outline in the bed but then forced his attention back to the floor. He couldn’t dwell on her being in the bed. He’d told himself that even before coming into her room. He had to think on other things tonight and not how much he wanted her.

But doing so was so hard. And honestly, it was becoming harder with every passing hour they were together.

It was his fault. All the innocent touches and all the innocent glances had just made him want her even more.

He buried his face into his hands and nearly groaned at the need welling inside him.

Of course, all day he’d been pretending to be engaged to her in order to prove that he and Clementine were in Georgetown to get married. It had been easy to fall into the role of her fiancé. And he’d been surprised at how much he’d liked it.

He’d also been trying to prove to Clementine that he knew how to flirt. While he wasn’t really all that great at flirting, he’d had no trouble doing so with her.

Between the pretending and the proving, he’d let down his guard and given in to his longing for her. And now that his longing was roaming free, it couldn’t be shoved back into the recesses of his heart and locked up again.

The trouble was keeping that longing from having too much leeway. He’d wanted to do much more than brush against her or give her meaningful looks once in a while. No, he’d wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her close and kiss her senseless. But he couldn’t. It was too much too soon.

“Grady?” Her tentative whisper broke through his internal ranting.

The whisper, just like everything about her, stirred emotion deep inside him, something that went beyond words.

“I have an excellent idea for tonight,” she continued.

“No.”

“How can you say no when you haven’t heard it?”

“I can tell from the tone of your voice that I won’t like it.”

With a huff, she pushed up. “It’s the best plan for both of us.”

He already liked his plan for the fake wedding tomorrow. It wasn’t foolproof, but it would hopefully help them identify and stop the stalker once and for all. But he knew he would listen to Clementine’s plan anyway. In reality, it probably couldn’t be much worse than his.

“Fine,” he groused. “What’s this excellent idea?”

“Let’s get married tonight. Right away.”

He snorted.

She remained quiet and unmoving on the bed.

His body stilled, and he allowed himself to look at her. “You’re not serious, are you?”

She wasn’t smiling and appeared almost grave. “I’m very serious. I’ve thought about it—”

“For what? A minute?”

“A few minutes.”

“That’s too big of a decision to make in a few minutes.”

“Some of us don’t need as long as others to make decisions.”

“Marriage is a big deal, Clementine. And it’s not something to rush into.”

She grew silent again.

Maybe she was serious about it. But marriage hadn’t been on his mind, except for the fake wedding. He’d expected to stand at the altar and talk until the stalker showed up. He hadn’t planned on them saying any vows or doing any other part of the ceremony.

The real question was why she’d made the outlandish suggestion to really go through with it.

His heart began to tap an erratic rhythm. What if it wasn’t outlandish?

“It’s just something to consider, Grady,” she said quietly. “We might not be in love with each other, but we’re friends, and that’s more than some married couples have.”

They might not be in love? He knew he was in love with her and had been for a long time. So did that mean she didn’t reciprocate?

A strange disappointment pricked his heart. He couldn’t deny that he wished for her love. But he couldn’t expect it right now and not any time soon. After the past few years of antagonism, it would take time and work to build her trust and respect and earn her love. But he was more than willing to take that time and do that work. And he could do that while they were married, couldn’t he?

“Marriage will stop the stalker,” she added. “And it will get you the loan from your dad.”

“We can stop the stalker without marriage. And I already told you I don’t want to use you to get the loan.”

“I want to do it, Grady.”

He shook his head. This was the part of her plan he didn’t like—that she was sacrificing to help him and not because she loved him. The truth was, he didn’t want her to marry him out of pity. He wanted her love.

Yet, what if he turned down her offer and then she never made it again? She might find someone else she cared about more than him. She never had a lack of interested men. And he didn’t want to lose her. He’d never be able to stand back and watch her get married to someone else. And the other fact was that he’d never want another woman as much as he wanted Clementine.

He expelled a tight breath. “Are you sure marriage is what you want?”

“It’s the best option for both of us.”

“It’s a permanent option.”

“Well, I guess I can put up with you permanently.” The usual mirth was back in her voice.

He knew she was just trying to lighten the mood. She was good at that, and he appreciated that quality. But not at the moment, when he had to make sure she understood what she’d be getting herself into.

“If we really go through with getting married,” he said in a grave voice, “our marriage won’t be pretend.”

“I understand.”

“I want a real marriage.”

“And I want a real marriage too.”

“In every aspect.”

“Of course—” Her reply ended abruptly, and she seemed to freeze.

He didn’t say more. She had probably worked out the direction of the conversation. Even if the topic was a little embarrassing, he needed her to know that he wasn’t remaining celibate in marriage.

“Are you saying you want to...” She didn’t finish. Instead she just nodded. “You know.”

“I’m saying I want to share the marriage bed with you.”

She ducked her head, and he guessed that if he’d had light to see her features by, he’d have seen her face flushing.

The fact was, he was already attracted to her. Always had been, but even more so now that he’d just spent the day flirting with her. If they were living together as man and wife, his desire for her would only grow, he had no doubt. It was inevitable when she was the most beautiful woman God had ever created.

But while he had every intention of having a real marriage with a real marriage bed, he was also a patient man. He wanted her to want him too. More than that, he wanted her to love him in return.

In the end, her love was all that really mattered, and if he could win that, then he’d be a happy man.

“I’m not saying we have to sleep together right away.” He spoke softly, hoping to reassure her. After all, if they did get married tonight, tomorrow, or some other date in the near future, they still needed time to adjust to each other. “We’ll take things slowly and work at building our relationship first.”

“Okay.” Her answer was soft, almost shy.

“But at some point, we’ll decide when to have more.”

“That sounds fair.”

The tension in his shoulders eased. He rolled them and leaned back in the chair.

“It makes sense that we’ll need to eventually sleep with each other”—her voice dipped with embarrassment—“in order to have children.”

“Yes.” Suddenly he could picture her holding their baby, a big, strapping boy with his dark hair but her green eyes. How many children would they have? He hoped plenty. But even if they struggled to have children the way his parents had, he’d do his best not to neglect the blessings he already had. Maybe he’d do better.

She grew quiet again. Was she thinking about all that he’d revealed about his mom too? It was a reminder that they would see difficult days ahead at some point. Difficulties were inevitable in marriage. But if they committed to loving each other, they would make it through anything.

“Are you sure marrying me is what you really want?” he asked.

“I’m not just suggesting it because Clarabelle—all my siblings—got married this year and I don’t want to be left behind, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I wasn’t thinking that.” He shouldn’t have taunted her and compared her with Clarabelle before. “I never should have brought it up. It wasn’t fair.”

“I also wasn’t flirting more because I felt left behind.”

“I wasn’t thinking that either.” Now that she was bringing up the issue, he guessed she had felt left behind, even if she was denying it. “But you should know that you being the last of your siblings to get married is my fault.”

“What?” Her tone held humor again. “How could it be your fault?”

“Because I was an idiot to push you away as long as I did.” He had been a big idiot. “If I’d never pushed you away, or even if I’d come to my senses sooner, we would have been married long ago.”

“Is that right?” She was smiling. Although he couldn’t see it, he could hear it in her voice.

“Yes, I’m right. I kept you from getting married, because obviously you were waiting for me to realize what an idiot I was.”

“I wasn’t waiting for you, and you’re arrogant for saying so.” She tossed her pillow at him again.

He easily caught it. “You’ve known all along that no other man can compare to me, which is why you were never interested in anyone else.”

“See. Arrogant.” She threw her second pillow, and it fell short of his chair.

“Just stating the facts.”

She laughed lightly.

Relief seeped through him, and he lobbed both pillows back onto the bed. “Since we were destined to be together, I guess there’s no reason to put it off any longer.”

“Destined?”

“Absolutely.”

She pushed off her covers to reveal her chemise, since she’d ruined her nightgown making bandages for him yesterday. “I guess I’ll need to change into something more presentable.”

A tremor of excitement pulsed into his blood. Was he really doing this? Getting married to Clementine?

“Do you think the reverend will be willing to come here tonight? It is rather late.” She paused, kneeling in the middle of the bed. He could still see her hair spilling all around her, making her so achingly beautiful that he was glad the lantern was out, preventing him from losing his mind in one single glance.

“He’s a friend of my dad’s. He’ll come.” Grady couldn’t keep a grin from spreading as he imagined standing in front of his dad in the living room, his arm around Clementine, declaring himself a married man and the winner of the challenge.

Now if only he could also win her love.