With My Breath (Lose My Breath #1)

CHAPTER EIGHT

SLATE

The grey brick panels of my Seattle penthouse welcome me as I step out of the bullion elevator. The moon is shining capaciously through the uncovered large windows, providing enough light to see myself around.

I toss my keys atop the steel quartz countertop and rear around the island to the bar, my heart racing through my chest as I reprimand myself for not being able to protect Jasmine from Tianna.

I grab the dark liquor and fill the small glass with rum as I contemplate the best course of action for a situation spiraling out of control.

“I never meant for anyone to get hurt. Shit, I cannot let this get out of hand.”

The liquor burns clean down my esophagus as I cross my large living area, dropping my drink atop the glass coffee table and slamming back onto my grey sectional.

“What the fuck are you going to do now?”

My question floods me with guilt as I remove my tie and unbutton the first two buttons of my shirt.

Jasmine isn’t just some random chick I’m fucking. I have feelings for this girl. Real feelings and the last thing I need is for my bitter ex to come along and ruin things between Jasmine and me before they start.

I snatch the glass from the coffee table and swirl the brown liquid several times before lifting it to my nose. I allow the thick tobacco scent to slide through my nostrils before bringing the glass to my lips and taking a few sips. My pocket vibrates, and I drag my phone out, silently praying that someone can fix the situation.

“We were unable to locate Tianna Ricci. I’m afraid she may still be in Seattle, although we aren’t sure where.”

Thomas, head of security, echoes through the phone, his lack of location for my ex-fiancé forcing me to take another sip of my rum.

“Be sure to have a few of your men parked outside Jasmine’s house through the night. I don’t want any harm coming to her or her children because of me.”

“It’s done, Casimir.”Thomas promptly replies.

“And Thomas.”

I pause for a breath while staring into the blackness before me. “When your men find Tianna, ensure I’m the first person you call.”

“Of course, Casimir.”

Thomas ends the call, and I’m again left alone in silence.

The darkness provides me tranquility as I lean back on the sectional. I scroll through my phone, making my way to my photos and retrieving one photo in particular. Pink sheer sheets draped across ebony skin satisfy me as I study the picture; it’s a picture I took while Jasmine was sleeping in my New York penthouse. Her deep wine-shaded hair is ruffled on the top of her head, a few strands lingering on her face as red lipstick stains her lips.

“So beautiful.”

I continue to admire the photo, fantasies of the things I want to do to Jasmine plaguing my mind as I finish off my rum.

“I never meant to involve you in any of this. I have fought every urge I have felt for you. But I want you. I want you bad, and not just in one way. I want to have you in every way possible. I want to own you, to possess you. I want you to grant me permission to do all the dark things I envision for you. Things that will make you scream with pleasure, cry, and beg for more.”

I swallow my declaration while rearing my mind from the lust. “But first, I must protect you.”

Typically, I would never pursue a married woman simply because I wouldn’t want a man to come after my wife. But with Jasmine, things are different. She is a sex-starved housewife in a loveless marriage. Who just so happens to give the best head I’ve ever received. How can any man walk away from that?

But it’s not just the sex that draws me to Jasmine. No, something about her makes me love and want her; because of that, I’m obligated to protect her in every way. I’m aware that I’m crossing a line, but my feelings for Jasmine grow each time she and I are together, and I won’t apologize for that.

I scroll to my text messages and begin tapping the screen,

When I said I think I’m falling in love with you, I really meant it :

I send the text without thinking twice, wallowing in a few minutes of silence before my phone vibrates. The motion drags my eyes to the lit-up screen.

Did you have anything to do with Alex obtaining a job at Slate Enterprises:

Once again, my fingers race across the screen. The words I’m going to make you mine linger, but I quickly erase them and toss my phone on the table as a chuckle lug at my tonsils. I don’t want to run her off.

“But I will have you for myself, Jasmine.”

“That’s a pretty strong declaration.”

No expression shadows my face at the familiar voice.Of course, Tianna would come to me. That’s what obsessed women do.

I slam my eyes shut while running my palm across my shadow before opening them again. Tianna crosses the floor, her white attire elucidating the room as she makes her way to me. She sets a glass of rum on the marble table before me, and anger pools deep inside my belly as I give Tiana a once-over.

“I figured you would want another glass after you finished that one.”

She smirks. “I almost forgot what an amazing view your penthouse has of Seattle. Breathless. Simply breathless.”

My gaze trails Tiana as she strolls over to the oversized windows of my penthouse and basks in the panoramic view. A forced breath frees from my chest as I wait patiently for her to state her request. If there is one thing I know about my ex-fiancé, it’s that she always wants something.

“Tianna, why have you come to my house? What do you want from me?”

I pick the glass of rum up from the table and grip it tightly as white stains my knuckles.

Tiana rips around, and her dark green eyes blaze into me. “I see you harbor no shame in taking something that doesn’t belong to you. Jasmine is clearly married, and though it’s a miserable marriage there,”

“Cut the shit, Tianna. What do you want from me,”

I interrupt while setting the glass of rum atop the table and bounding to my feet.

Not in the mood to play games with my ex-fiancé, I regard Tiana dispassionately, making sure she sees that I don’t give a damn about her any longer.

“There is still the matter of the children, those beautiful little children. I would hate for them to experience divorce. You know how detrimental divorces can be.”

Tianna speaks, picking up where she left off.

My loafers tap lightly against the stone floors as I near Tiana, my chest tightening with vexation. I look my ex-fiancé directly in her eyes and receive a scoff from her at my utter disregard.

“You used to love me; you know. Even if you are too afraid to admit it,”

She whispers, her tiny fingers sliding up my arm, slowly making their way across my chest.

I inhale a deep breath as she sketches her fingers across my muscles, my mind reeling with memories of the woman Tiana used to be before she became the callous woman she is now.

“Divorces are hard. I distinctly remember being there for you when your parents filed for theirs. A big mess that was.”

Her fingers begin unbuttoning my shirt, her eyes never leaving mine as she continues speaking. “Millions and millions of dollars. The media circus was unbearable, and well, you took it hard as ever, discovering that your father had an affair with the handmaiden of all women.”

A smirk privy the side of Tianna’s lips as she looks me up and down, and the muscles in my chest flex from the cool air, summoning a deep breath from her.

The lust Tianna still hones for me is apparent as she leans forward and glides her teeth gently across my exposed chest. I stiffen at the sensation. I’m about five minutes away from dragging her out of my penthouse.

“Do you think she sucks her husband’s cock the way she sucks yours?”

Tianna reaches her hand into my slacks, attempting to unbutton them, but I grip her wrists forcefully. “Tianna, if you haven’t come to tell me why you’re threatening my assistant and end this road of rage you have inserted yourself on, then you and I are done.”

A whimper rises from Tianna’s throat as I throw her hands back, and her body stumbles at the abrupt movement.

“It’s clear you are only interested in playing games.”

I cross the living room floor in search of my phone.

“Try retribution,”

Tianna chokes, red bleeding her face as she skates after me.

One thing Tianna hates more than not being in control is losing control of someone insignificant. That right there will make her do dangerous things.

“Tianna, get out of my house. If you return, I will have you arrested,”

I demand while directing her to the elevator.

“She is a nobody. Have you forgotten who I am? I will destroy you. I will destroy both of you!”

Her voice blares through the penthouse.

I can see the regret in Tianna’s eyes from what she just said. Clearly, she’s still in love with me, and all the emotions coiled deep inside of her are causing her to act out like a teenager.

“Casimir, you’re the only man I have ever loved. The only man I have ever wanted. Yet you’re kicking me out as if we never loved one another.”

Tiana’s racing heartbeat sounds the silent penthouse, and I rip my eyes from her.

“Why won’t you love me? I made one mistake, but that isn’t why you don’t love me. Did I ever have a chance?”

Tianna’s eyes desperately try to reach mine, and my throat attempts to work, but words refuse to leave me.

“Look at me, dammit. You proposed to me in front of the entire world. I submitted to you in every way. I allowed you to do all those dirty, dark things to me even if they were too much for me, and this is how you repay me? I deserve an explanation.”

Tianna’s voice reverberates through the penthouse. The pain in her eyes is evident as I turn to her. I’m not ignorant of the pain we’ve caused one another, but to go down this road would be a waste of time.

“Tianna, how many times must I apologize to you for the pain I’ve caused? I have done everything in my power to try and fix the damage I inflicted on you, but nothing I do will ever be enough. I cannot take you back. I will not take you back. Tianna, you, and I are done.”

Tianna stumbles a couple of steps back as if my words were bricks thrown at her heart, tears drilling from her eyes as she watches me press the elevator button and anxiously wait for her to get in and be gone from my life for good.

My ex-fiancé wobbles into the elevator with flooded eyes while clenching her stomach with her hands. She wants to drop to her knees and plead with me as she has done so many times before. Take my cock in her mouth and show me how submissive she can be, but the hate I have for her has flourished. There’s no way I would ever be sexual with her again, and she knows this.

My ex-fiancé glares at me and allows one sentence to free from her fluttering lips. “Jasmine doesn’t know your secret. I will tell her everything if you don’t take me back.”

My heart dives into my stomach, churning and twisting to the point of nausea. Still, I refuse to meet Tianna’s gaze as I press the button down. I cannot show Tianna that her threat has gotten to me. I need her gone, and I need her gone now.

I cross over to the sectional and slide languidly onto it, my mind rummaging with thoughts as I ingest Tianna’s threat to destroy my empire and everything I’ve built. I would lose her for good if Jasmine ever discovered what I am hiding. I would lose her before I even get her. I grab the glass of rum off the table and chuck it against the wall as I curse inaudibly.