Worlds Collide (Fan Service #6)

13. CJ

THIRTEEN

CJ

Wednesday evening, after having Thai food with Gracie, I went back to work, and everything was fine at first. Work was a welcome distraction from the shitshow of a morning I’d had.

The evening rush is always a bit chaotic, but for midweek, it was pretty standard.

When the night shift started, I was assigned to help out in the ER, and Dr. Yang told me I’d be assigned there with him, except for his patient hours, for the rest of the week.

On Thursday, at not even eight in the morning, there was a weird shift in the air, and no one was prepared.

It’s not like there was a huge pileup in the 405 like there seems to be at least once a week.

No, this was something different, and a lot more concerning.

A lot of children started being brought into the ER over the next couple of days. Most with high fevers, others with small sprains, and a few with concussions .

Soon enough, we all realized there was something suspicious about the whole thing. It actually took me the longest to figure it out—I guess all the other doctors and the nurses didn’t want to completely humiliate me by telling me—but when a woman asks you to give her a hundred thousand dollars to pay off her debts while you’re checking the dilatation of her daughter’s pupils, it kind of puts things into perspective.

Not one kid had a fever, there were no visible sprains on any x-rays, and definitely no signs of concussions.

All those parents had faked that their children had illnesses just to get a few minutes of my time to ask me for money.

Apparently the article mentioned that I’m a surgery resident focused mostly on pediatrics, and at which hospital. They all actually thought I would just hand them money, as if I’m carrying wads of cash around like some kind of drug lord.

It was honestly kind of disgusting—not to mention idiotic—the way they wasted everyone’s time looking over their perfectly healthy children. We could’ve been checking on other patients, helping people who actually needed it.

So, by the time my third shift of the week ended on Saturday evening, I knew what was coming.

But it still sucked.

It sucked big hairy balls—not even remotely the good ones I’ve heard about from Sebas over the years.

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Erickson, the chief of surgery, tells me as I sit next to Dr. Yang in her office. To be fair, she does look regretful, and I understand.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” I mumble. I’m doing my best not to let my anger out. I’m not angry at her, or at Dr. Yang. This is a courtesy of course. My boss’s boss shouldn’t have to take time out of her very busy schedule to tell me this, but she has, so I’m gonna show her the respect she deserves. “Three months?” I ask with a wince.

“Yes. That’s the plan at least. If we can confirm that this issue won’t arise again, then it’s possible we can call you to come back and continue your residency sooner.” She nods like she believes that’s what’s going to happen, but we both know there’s no way for her to know that.

“Or it could be longer,” Dr. Yang pipes up. I do appreciate his candor—I have since I first met him, even if it stings.

“Honestly,” I sigh and let my shoulders drop. “I’m just thankful you’re not firing me for this whole mess.”

“Dr. Sounders, what you have done should never be punished.” The seriousness in Dr. Yang’s voice is new. He’s a little bit of a smartass and only really uses that voice when he’s talking to a new patient or a patient’s family. He never has with me, so I know it’s time to pay attention.

“I agree, and I have to tell you, I wish there was a better way that we could solve this without putting the patients who come to this hospital for care at risk.”

“But this isn’t your fault either, so I’ll just have to let all this die down and then I’ll be back.”

“And then you’ll be back,” Dr. Erickson agrees with a firm nod.

I turn to Dr. Yang and his affable expression is back. “At this rate you’ll be able to become an attending in a decade.”

I laugh despite myself and fall back on the chair. “I’m sorry,” I tell them honestly. “I should’ve done everything anonymously.”

“Maybe,” Dr. Erickson says with a shrug. “But this way we all know you’re not just smart and a good doctor, you’re also a good person, and you’d be surprised how important that is for us when we decide who to hire after they’re done with the training program. ”

The tips of my lips lift quickly at that. It’s not a fake smile per se, but I’m definitely not going to be throwing any parties over this.

“Okay then.” I stand and offer each of them a hand to shake, then go to my locker to empty it out.

There are some people clearly waiting for me outside, but I manage to leave mixed in with a big family and only have to run for one block to lose them in the crowds.

I text the Darnell group chat with an update as soon as I arrive home and Diana is calling me about three-point-seven seconds later.

“You know you can sue them?—”

“It’s not their fault.” I stop her before she can get carried away. “I brought this all on myself. And besides, it’s what’s best for the hospital. No need to be angry. It just is what it is.”

“Oh, baby.”

“I promise it’s fine. It’s only three months. I can keep myself busy for that long. There’s always a lot of studying to do.”

“Yeah, if you want to finish general surgery in five years with this much time off, then you do.”

“At least I only have two years after that before the PSQE and PSCE.”

“As much as I would’ve loved for you to go for neuro, fact is I’m glad it won’t take you as long as it took me to become an attending.”

“Well I’m not a working mom so...” I trail off.

“That’s a good point. Anyway, you know you can come home and stay here with us for a while. You can study here the same as you can study in LA.” I can hear the hope in her voice but it’s not the right thing for me.

I haven’t been back to San Francisco for years and I don’t know if I ever will. As much as I enjoyed my college years at Cavendish, and of course spending as much time as possible at Adam’s house growing up, there’s still mostly just disappointment in my memories.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I tell her gently. “But you’re coming here for Cristy right?”

“Yes!” she says excitedly. “Peter and I are flying down on Monday and staying through Friday. We’ll stay with Clive, of course. You’re gonna spend a lot of time with us, aren’t you?” Her tone changes to challenging by the end and nothing in the world could stop the smile from blooming on my face.

“Of course I’ll see you two. Every day. If Peter lets me snoop around on his latest project then I definitely won’t complain.”

“It sucks that you won’t be in the OR with me, though.”

“Who knows,” I tell her. “Maybe you can nag Dr. Yang into letting me join you two.”

“That’s a good idea, I’ll call him now. Talk later.”

She hangs up before I can tell her I was joking and I shake my head. Oh well, I won’t regret saying it if Dr. Yang says yes.

I stare at the black screen of my phone for a long minute and can’t help but feel sorry for myself. The one thing I’ve ever done only for myself is become a doctor. All I’ve wanted was to work in a hospital, learn how to help kids, and just live my life without having to answer to my parents.

I guess I am making all of that happen, but having to take time off because of something I did to right the wrongs of the Clemson family is ironic and it absolutely sucks.

This upcoming week I’ll get to hang out with Diana and Peter, and with Clive more than likely, but what about after?

For at least three months am I supposed to spend all day studying instead of getting the working hours I’ve been counting on?

My phone lights up again and Adam’s face appears on the screen. I’m not expecting a scolding this time, but I’m still relieved the damn thing is on silent because I’m not in the mood to hear that up-beat song right now. And if he scolds me even a little for giving away as much money as I can, then I’m going to belt him.

“Hey,” I answer.

“How are you, buddy?” I hear the honest concern in his tone and it’s then that I remember he has a game tomorrow.

“I’m okay, are you home?”

“No, we’re playing in Pittsburgh this week. But are you really okay?”

“No, of course I’m not, but it’s not like this is anyone’s fault. I can’t do anything about it but wait for the attention to go away.”

“Uhh, it’s absolutely someone’s fault,” he snaps back. My eyebrows rise to the top of my forehead but I don’t have time to ask him what the hell he’s talking about before he starts ranting. “It’s Wolf’s fault. If he’d just left you alone, then you wouldn’t have so many people trying to get money out of you.”

“Adam,” I start as calmly as I can. “All the words coming out of your mouth are absolutely stupid. You do know that, don’t you?”

“No they’re not,” he counters back, brilliantly . “There are a lot of weirdos obsessed with Wolf, you know? He’s the reason you’re getting?—”

“You know, I love you,” I interrupt him. “You’re like my actual brother, Adam Peter, and it’s only thanks to you that I know the true love of family, so I’m not going to mince my words, okay? You’re being a dickhead, and you better cut it out before you call me again, got it? Wolf is not responsible for all of this happening and neither am I for wanting to try out his dick. Hope you have an amazing fucking game tomorrow. Goodbye .” I shout at the end then hit the screen to end the call.

I lower my head between my shoulders and breathe hard .

Yeah, I’m not super happy with Wolf, and I’m entitled to that anger, but he’s not responsible for every bad thing that’s happened. Whatever thing Adam has against Wolf is his problem, not mine. Having to deal with that is not something I want to do, in fact it’s not something I will ever agree to, so if by some miracle Wolf apologizes and we patch things up, then Adam’s just going to have to get in?—

My phone buzzes again.

“What now?” I ask the empty room and my mouth goes dry when I see the caller ID. “Hey,” I tell him quietly.

“Hey CJ,” Hawk says in his always sunshiny voice. “I’m going to the Warriors game tomorrow and have a suite. You wanna come? A few of the wives I like will be there with me, but Tate never speaks and I think having another man there could maybe smooth things over a little for me, you know? Because we didn’t invite almost anyone from the team to the wedding ,and now everyone knows we already got married but no one knows when or where. And we want to keep it that way, believe me, but I don’t want Derek’s teammates or their significant others to hate me.” I hear the pout in the last few words before he finally takes a breath.

“How are you, Hawk?” I ask softly. I’m smiling already just from hearing his rambles.

“I’m okay. I mean, a little bit nervous because, you know, you slept with my brother and the whole world found out right away, and I don’t know how you got him to let his guard down enough to kiss you in a hotel hallway, so maybe I have some questions. But I know I’m not gonna ask them. Because Wolfie clearly doesn’t want to talk about it, and he deserves to have his privacy, and I don’t want to intrude or butt in, you know?”

“I do know,” I say but he’s already talking over me again.

“And also nervous about the wives thing. ”

There’s a beat of silence where I wait to hear if he’s going to keep talking, but when he doesn’t, I answer the way I want to—because I like Hawk and I consider him a friend, no other reason. Also, it looks like he won’t push the thing with Wolf so I won’t have to feel awkward about it.

“I’d love to go to the game with you.”

“Thanks for meeting me here,” I tell Hawk. Then I nod at Tate and he nods back stoically. “I’ve never been to a game at this stadium.”

“It’s fine, here’s your pass.”

Hawk hands me a laminated ticket with a cord hanging from it. I put it around my neck and follow them to the VIP entrance that the team lets Hawk use to get in. People who go to other suites go in through another entrance, Hawk tells me while we put our things in a container so they can pass through a scanner.

“Thanks for coming. I’m sorry for rambling so much on the phone,” Hawk says in a quiet tone once we’re in the elevator.

I don’t know how, but I feel like Tate’s paying special attention to me at this moment. I look back and see his intense eyes boring into me.

“I don’t mind. I think it’s part of your charm. Also, I’m sure none of the wives of Derek’s teammates are mad at you.”

“I hope not,” he says and lets out a harsh burst of air. “It would be hell if they all decide they don’t like the only male WAG.”

I snort.

“No one could ever hate you, Hawk,” I tell him, believing it completely, and pat him on the shoulder. Finally, Tate’s eyes shift away to the front of the elevator. I guess I passed some kind of test .

“You’d be surprised,” Hawk mumbles with his eyes firmly on the doors. I’m about to ask what he means when the doors open and we’re on the move in a busy hallway.

There’s a waiter inside the suite when we get there, and he asks us what kind of drinks we want today. Hawk orders Cokes and I ask for water and a beer.

There’s only silence after he leaves. Tate stands by the door, and Hawk goes to the seats with a better view of the field and stares out.

I feel suddenly awkward, like I should say something about the whole thing with Wolf to reassure Hawk, so I step up next to him and try to be as casual about it as I can be.

“About the pictures,” I start out tentatively. “I just want to let you know that nothing is going on between your brother and me anymore, Hawk. He actually kicked me out in the morning and was?—”

“I’m gonna stop you right there.” Hawk says with a seriousness I’ve never heard from him. He holds up a hand to my face and closes his eyes to take a deep breath. “I know better than anyone that my brother isn’t perfect, but between literally any other human in the world—except maybe Derek—and my brother, I will always choose Wolfie. I like you CJ, I really do, and I’m glad you agreed to come with me today, but if you want to bitch about Wolfie, which is something you’re totally entitled to do, you better never do it in front of me.”

I stare open-mouthed at Hawk for a solid ten seconds.

I never saw that coming, damn .

“He’s lucky to have that kind of loyalty from you.”

“Well, he’s earned it,” Hawk says with a nod, then he’s suddenly back to his usual smiley self. The shift is abrupt, like he just flipped a switch inside himself and is once more happy Hawk. The door opens before I can say anything else, and three gorgeous, dressed- to-the-nines women come in. Hawk goes right to them and greets them with his awesome warmth, and introduces me like he didn’t just basically threaten me.

It’s a different kind of intensity to Wolf’s, but the level is the same. I see now that they not only look alike, but they’re probably very similar too.

That tells me more about Wolf that I thought I’d ever learn.

Like Hawk is, Wolf has to be a deeply emotional person. What other reason would he have to react the way he did when he found out about the pictures if not emotion?

Stop , I tell myself. His reaction was an asshole move, there’s no excusing it.

Right, I have to forget all about him and get back to becoming the man I’m meant to be.

Hawk stares at me, indignation clear in his creased eyes and open mouth, when I finish telling him about my unofficial suspension from my residency.

“That’s so fucked up,” he squeaks. Then he clears his throat and tries speaking again. It comes out normally then, and makes me smile. “It’s not your fault people are so damn money hungry.” The grumble is cute as hell.

“I don’t really hold it against them. I didn’t work for all that money, all I did was be born. It’s unfair, and some people really need it.”

“And you’ve given a lot of people a lot of fucking money already, CJ, damn. You can be mad about this, you know?”

“Yes.” I nod and concede the point. “Of course I know I can be mad about it. I am mad about it. But being mad won’t make three months go by faster. Though Adam’s parents are coming for a week tomorrow, so at least I’ll have them to hang out with for a handful of days.”

“Are they staying with Clive?” he asks with a curious tilt of his head.

“Yeah, I’m having dinner with them?—”

“Why don’t you come stay at the ranch?” Hawk says like he just had a revelation. “You can stay in the guest cottage, study to your heart’s content while you see the sea, go to the beach or do whatever. You’ll be closer to the Darnells this week, too.” He pauses and must see the trepidation in my face. “Oh, you can at least do something like a trial run this week, and then come back to your apartment if you don’t like it. Or was it my brother that put that look on your face? To be honest, he barely leaves his place. He only goes down to the court or comes over for dinner once a week, so you can probably stay for the whole three months and never see him if you don’t want to.”

The careless wave of his hand does make me feel better, but...

“Are you sure he won’t be mad?”

“Well, Wolfie gets mad about everything, but you’re my friend and as long as you promise that you won’t go bother him on purpose, then you’re more than welcome.”

“I, uh... Can I think about it?” I hedge.

“Sure. You can come by anytime, it’s an open invitation.”

“Thanks.”

I do my best to smile genuinely at him, but the nerves in my belly are making it hard.

I do like the idea of staying at the ranch for some time, of course I do. I’d have one of their guest cottages to myself which would give me peace and time to study. That’s something that I wouldn’t get at my place with Gracie all worried about me, or at Clive’s since he’d for sure drag me everywhere with him in the hopes that he can cheer me up. Hawk’s ranch on the other hand, is quiet. Besides, the place is all-around awesome and has everything you could ever want.

Including Wolf .

Nope, bad CJ. I don’t want Wolf.

And that’s the only drawback. But if what Hawk said is right and he really doesn’t wander around, then maybe it could work?

“Why don’t you text Wolf and ask him if it’s okay. If he says yes, then I’ll still keep my distance, but I’ll happily stay at the ranch for as long as you guys will have me.”

Hawk’s smile stretches his cheeks to a crazy-looking degree, so I take it he likes that idea.

“I’ll call him right now!” he says excitedly and jumps up to leave the suite.

I look around and half the women are staring at him with a dreamy tenderness in their eyes, and the other half are looking at me like Adam’s aunt—gossip sharks, and I have the proverbial blood.

Hopefully Hawk gets back soon, because Tate left right behind him and I fear I might need assistance here soon.