Worth the Chance (Watertown University #2)

12. Eliza

Chapter 12

Eliza

I ’ve been going to hockey games for almost half of my life. When my mom got remarried to Dean and I gained another brother my weekends consisted of going back and forth between baseball and hockey games with them. I always enjoyed it but I never got that into either sport. In the more recent years I’ve gone to less and less games because I was either in high school or at a different school while they were playing. That’s something that’s going to be changing. Even if Garrett didn’t care about me coming, I probably would anyway. Seeing him glide across the ice, the look of full concentration on his face was something truly magical. He’s a natural out there.

Then after the game he called me ‘his’ in front of all his teammates. I know it’s fake but I swear I could’ve seen a slight flash of jealousy when Alex kissed my hand. My heart rate soared at that moment. To have a guy claim me as his. Sam never did that. We dated for nearly two years and he never truly claimed me as his. Sure, it was high school but shouldn’t the person you are with want that?

Then of course there was the whole encounter with Sam at the bar. His words stung, I won’t lie about that but I know that they hold no value. Plus I finally got to call him out. It felt liberating, like I’m actually able to let him go. For a while I felt stuck, like he had some kind of hold on me with the way he left and I cried for him. I didn’t stick up for myself in the way I know I should have. The way I probably would have if I hadn’t been plagued with something I didn’t even know at the time, affecting my mental and physical health. So it felt good to finally let him go, to tell him how I really feel.

Not forming a crush on Garrett got infinitely harder after the way he stuck up for me. There’s something about the way he remained calm despite the anger I could feel rolling off of him. Not letting someone so small tear him down to his level. I sigh, thinking of the whole situation with my ridiculously hot roommate. While I am a hopeless romantic through and through, I’m not delusional enough to think that I could change him. If he doesn’t believe in love and relationships, that’s his prerogative. I just need to remember to keep my feelings in check and to stop this developing crush. Easier said than done.

Sitting on the window seat in my room, I take a few minutes to journal everything going through my mind. Journaling is one of the things that has helped me in the past few years, when I was going through my diagnosis and the aftermath of that. My safe space has always been journaling. I write about the events of last week, the whole ‘mine’ situation and how I’ve been feeling since. Just as my hand starts to cramp from all the secrets I spill onto the paper, my phone buzzes.

Mia

Want to come out tonight with me, Jenny and Alexa? We were thinking of going to Tortilla Grill in the town over. They seem to have good gf options. Let me know !

I met Jenny and Alexa at the bar the other night. They both seemed nice. I pull out my phone, doing a quick search of the restaurant. It looks like they have a pretty extensive gluten free menu. Opening one of my apps, where people rate the food based on how safe they felt eating there, I see it also has good reviews. It still makes me nervous to try somewhere new but I can’t shelter myself forever.

Me

It looks good to me!

Mia

Perfect! I’ll come over around six and we can head there together!

Checking the time on my phone, I note that it’s only noon so I head downstairs to make something for lunch. I’m surprised to find Garrett in the kitchen finishing off a plate of pancakes.

“Oh, hey. I thought you left already.”

“Trying to get rid of me?” He raises an eyebrow at me with a smirk on his face.

“Yes, actually. Someone’s coming over tonight.” I smirk back.

“Who?” His tone is gruff as he puts down his fork, stopping his next bite.

“Does it matter?”

“Eliza.”

“Don’t worry it’s just Mia.” I laugh as I move around the kitchen, looking for something to snack on. “You almost sounded jealous there for a second.” My sassy sides love to come out around him. It’s a part of me that has been hidden in recent years besides from my family. It’s nice that I can feel that part of my personality coming back. Plus, it really does almost feel like he’s jealous. He’s probably not and just concerned about who’s going to be in his space but it’s still fun to tease him.

“Not jealous.” He clears his throat. “We have a deal and while we’re in that deal I don’t expect to be sharing you with anyone else.” Garrett is no longer in his seat at the counter, but hovering right behind my back as I stand over the sink. “I don’t like to share, cupcake.” His breath grazes my ears, sending a shiver down my back. I count to three in my head before whirling around to face him.

“I don’t expect to share either.” I cross my arms over my chest, causing my breasts to rise. His eyes move down from mine for a split second, putting a satisfied smirk on my face.

“Not a problem.”

“Good.”

“Are you and Mia going to watch some more of that dating show?” Surprise flares through me at the question. Garrett knows Mia and I have been hanging out and that we both love sitcoms and reality tv but the first time they had the opportunity to meet was last Friday.

“No, actually. She invited me to go out with some other girls. We’re going to Tortilla Grill.”

“Is that a good idea?”

“What do you mean?”

“Will you be able to eat there safely?” My heart flutters in my chest. I know he knows all about my disease since I told him but the fact that he remembers even the little things and seems concerned does something funny to me. I mentally shake my head at myself. Get it together, El. He doesn’t do love, he’s just being a good friend.

“The reviews seemed promising.” I shrug, like it’s not a big deal. “It’s a little scary but I think it’ll be okay. Plus if I get a bad vibe while I’m there I’ll just wait until I’m home to eat something.”

“Okay. Well I’ve got to get to campus to make the bus for the game tonight. Text me if you need anything.” He holds my eye contact until I nod in response and then he heads towards the front door, slinging a gym bag over his shoulder.

Four hours and two dozen cupcakes later the alarm on my phone goes off, signaling that it’s time for me to start getting ready. After Garrett left, my anxiety started to take hold of me, so I turned to my usual outlet, baking. I decided to go for some double chocolate cupcakes. I got lost in the motions of baking, singing along to one of my playlists and now I feel a lot better than before. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still nervous but the panic has subsided and I think I can conquer my evening out.

When Mia comes to pick me up Alexa is in the passenger seat and Jenny is in the back behind her. I get in on the drivers side in the back and say hi to the girls. They both seem really nice and I’m excited to get to know them more. I love that I have Mia but it will be nice to broaden my circle further.

When we get to the restaurant the vibes are good. I get to talk to Alexa and Jenny and learn more about them. Alexa is a hospitality major and has an older sister who also went to Watertown and graduated last year. Jenny is an education major who has two younger brothers. They all met their freshman year when they shared a dorm room. Alexa and Jenny are still roommates to this day.

“So, are you liking Watertown?” Jenny asks between bites of chips and salsa.

“I am. It’s been really great. It’s nice to be somewhere new and have my own space.” I scoop a healthy amount of salsa onto my tortilla chip.

“Is it weird living with your boyfriend even though you haven’t been dating long? Like do you share a room?” Alexa asks, obviously unaware of the situation.

“I guess it’s a little odd but it’s also really nice. We have our own rooms though. It is new so I think that’s important.” I hate lying to her face but I also don’t know her well enough to tell her the truth. I didn’t really know Mia well enough yet either but I just clicked with her in a different way. My gut told me I could trust her.

The food gets delivered and the head waiter places my tacos in front of me. It’s always a good sign when the food is brought out by someone who’s not handling the other plates. There’s also a little allergy stick in the middle taco. I exhale a deep breath. It feels safe here.

I wake up in the worst pain of my life. My head is pounding, my stomach is rolling and I feel like I got hit by an eighteen wheeler. A feeling I know all too well but have been careful to not experience recently. Unfortunately it’s inevitable that I’ll feel this way some days if I want to try and experience a normal social life. Except this time it feels even more amplified than before. Maybe because it’s been so long since the last time, I forgot how bad it really gets.

Tortilla Grill seemed accommodating. Serving a number of things with the option of corn or flour tortillas. I even asked our waiter if the gluten free ones were made separately. He assured me they were but clearly something went wrong. Whether they were made together or I was served the wrong thing, I have no idea but it’s a place I personally won’t be returning to.

After a few hours of tossing and turning, trying like hell to get back to sleep to try to let my body sleep some of this off, I force myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I take a warm shower, letting the water soothe my sore muscles, one of those weird side effects I get. I change into a big, comfy pair of sweats and an oversized t-shirt. Opting to forgo my contacts today I stick with my glasses and pull my hair back into a messy bun. Good enough .

Not wanting to rot in my room all day, I head down stairs. Before plopping down on the couch I fill up a big jug of ice water and grab a banana. The last thing I want to do is eat right now but I also know my body needs some nutrients. Cozying up with my blankets, I put on my favorite show, New Girl, since I need all the comfort I can get.