Worth the Chance (Watertown University #2)

21. Garrett

Chapter 21

Garrett

I wake up with one thought on my mind. I like Eliza. Like actually like her. Fuck. She warned me not to fall in love with her and what once felt like a joke doesn’t feel so funny anymore. I mean I’m not in love with her, that would be crazy, but I definitely like her and don’t like that she views our relationship as fake still. It doesn’t feel fake to me anymore.

This crush started a few weeks ago if we’re being honest but it was all stuff I could write off. The feeling I got at seeing her in the stands at home games? Just nice to know someone’s there for me. The slight twinge of jealousy at knowing her ex got to experience her, uh, physically? Just because he’s a bad guy. The feeling of needing to protect her? Just because she’s Ryan’s and Liam’s little sister.

But that’s all a lie. I mean I guess some of it is true but really I have a big freaking crush on the girl. I think I’ve spent the past week coming to terms with it. One week ago we shared a bed and I got to touch her and it was glorious. I’ve been dying to do it again since but when she came home and didn’t mention it, I figured she just wanted to ignore the fact it happened. I don’t know how much longer I can ignore it for .

I decide I need to sort through my feelings more. Sure, I have a crush on her and could see this being a real relationship but can I love her? I’m not sure about that. I’ve been so resigned to the fact that love isn’t for me that I don’t know if I could get there. Needing to talk this through with someone I fire off a text to Bryan.

Me

Hey. Can I run something by you?

Bryan

Sure.

Me

Meet at The Blue Bean in 20?

Bryan

See ya there.

When I walk into The Blue Bean, I spot Bryan already at one of the tables in a corner. Thankfully it’s pretty quiet here today. I grab a coffee, an iced americano, and then head over to him.

“Hey. Thanks for meeting me.”

“Of course man. What’s up?”

“I’m having some feelings.” I sip on my coffee as Bryan stares at me, confusion written all over his face.

“Well feelings do make you human. So I guess I’m glad to know you’re not a robot.”

“Shut up.” I laugh. “What I mean is… I’m having feelings for Eliza, real feelings. Like I might have a crush on her.”

“I knew this was going to happen.” He practically shouts to the whole place before lowering his voice. “Bro, how could you not? She’s gorgeous, kind, and supportive. You do coupley things…” He trails off hinting at how this was coming.

“I know but I didn’t think this would happen. You know my stance on love. ”

“Do you love her?”

“No, I just like her a lot.”

“So what’s the problem? Ask her out for real.”

“What if I can never love her?”

“You think you're incapable of love?” He raises his eyebrow in question.

“I don’t know… maybe.” I’m not sure. I thought I turned off that part of me in the past ten years. Can you really turn it off? I don’t know but it feels like I did. I don’t let myself get to that point with anyone, ever.

“I doubt that you're incapable of love but love comes later anyways. You don’t need to be in love with someone to date them. Not in the beginning, at least. Love grows. If it doesn’t then, well, you end it.” Taking another sip of my coffee I think about what he’s just said. Love grows and if it doesn’t then we go our separate ways.

If we do go our separate ways there’s also a chance I lose Liam, Ryan and Emilia’s friendship as well but maybe not if it’s amicable. Eliza isn’t cruel. I don't imagine she’d want everyone to cast me aside. “You have to decide if it’s a chance you’re willing to take.” I nod, still absorbing our whole conversation.

We sit in a comfortable silence as we continue to drink our coffees before changing the subject to hockey. We don’t have a game today but tomorrow we have another away game. After another thirty minutes of chatting about hockey and just catching up we head our separate ways.

As I pull up to the house I get an unexpected but exciting phone call. I smile at the screen before picking it up.

“Hey Ro. Long time no talk.” Rosie Rivera and I grew up in the same town, her dad is the one who got me into hockey, and she is one of the few people who knows about my family history. She’s a year older than me and when I came to Watertown the year after her, she and her best friend Emilia adopted me into their little circle. I didn’t really mean to join it but Emilia and I both have rocky family situations so we all just kind of clicked.

“Hey Gar. I know, I’m sorry. Adulting life has been hard to get used to.” Rosie graduated last spring along with Emilia, Ryan and Liam. She’s currently living in Boston and is working as a photographer for the Boston Gladiators though she dreams of being a full time wedding photographer.

“How is the new job?”

“It’s good,” she sighs, “don’t get me wrong I’m so thankful to have it. It pays decently and the team’s really nice but there’s only so many shots you can get before it feels repetitive.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. You can get some good ones of me next year though.”

“That is something to look forward to I guess.” Her laugh carries through the speaker. “Anyways how’s senior year? How’s your roommate?” She drags out the last word like she’s on to something.

“Senior year is good. Hockey’s been going pretty well. How do you know about my roommate?”

“You think Emilia didn’t come over here the night after she helped move you guys in and spill all the deets?”

“Fair enough. Not that there’s much to spill.”

“She did say she caught you staring at her.”

“I wasn’t staring…” I can’t even finish that thought because that’s a lie. I was totally staring. “It’s been good though. Eliza is great, actually.” I smile just mentioning her name and thinking about her makes my lips turn up.

“Oh shit you like her.”

“What? Why do you say that?”

“I can hear something in your voice and I’m never wrong about these things. See, Emilia and Liam, I was right about them.” She knew they liked each other long before they did but so did everyone else. “So have you told her? Have you told Emilia? Oh lord Liam is going to kill you.” She rambles off the questions at lightning speed.

“Slow down, Ro. No, I haven't told her. I’m still sorting through some stuff. And don’t tell anyone, please. I need to figure out if she even likes me back before we go there.”

“Fine,” Rosie sighs. “Emi said you looked at her differently than she’s ever seen you look at any other girl, like there were stars in your eyes.”

“She’s exaggerating. I mean El is gorgeous but stars? C’mon now.”

“Yeah, stars doesn’t sound like you.” Rosie laughs. “But you deserve to look at someone like that Gar and to have someone look back at you the same way. I know you don’t do love but things change, right?”

“Maybe.” I’m not sure. It’s one thing to like someone and something entirely different to love them.

“Well anyways I gotta go. Talk soon!”

“Bye, Ro.” Telling my feelings to two people isn’t quite what I thought was going to happen today but it’s made one thing clear, I need to sort through my feelings.