Wrapped Up in Holly (Hart Brothers)

4. Holly

Holly

I threw myself on Evan’s bed as he shut the door to his bedroom. When he’d turned fourteen, his parents decided it was time for him to get his own room. That meant the three girls had moved into one bedroom, and the three youngest boys had their own, too. We could hear Aiden, Ryan, and Tristan wrestling next to us, and Evan combed his fingers through his shaggy hair, an annoyed scowl slanted across his face.

I laughed. I’d long gotten used to his family.

“How’d you do on your test?” he asked, plopping down in the chair in front of his desk in the corner. Since we were seniors in high school, I had finally been allowed up in his bedroom. Although, it wasn’t like we had all that much time alone between his siblings and parents constantly interrupting us. We’d stopped trying to hook up at his house and waited until we were alone in his car or at a party.

“Okay.” I shrugged, and he turned back to his computer.

That was another concession: his own computer, so he didn’t have to use the family one in the living room. My aunt and uncle said they’d get me one of my own when I went to college, but I had yet to inform them I didn’t want to go to school in Ohio. I had yet to tell anyone, including Evan.

He absently tugged on the woven bracelet he still wore, even though it looked like it would disintegrate at any moment. Especially since we were no longer twelve, and his wrists were those of a man.

He’d grown out of his chubbiness by high school, hit six feet tall by the time we turned sixteen. Now, he was an inch or so over, his shoulders broad, his arms and legs thick with muscle from all the time he spent in the gym with the football team. His dark hair was still shaggy though, a bit of the little boy I’d met six years ago.

“What are you working on?” I rolled over to my stomach, making myself at home on his bed.

“I have that Hamlet paper due for Miss Salvatore.”

Evan and I only had one class together, and it was Environmental Science. I took it for an easy A, but he thought it would help him in his major at college. He’d been set on Agriculture and Business at Ohio State, and he assumed I’d be going with him. He’d already sent in his application.

“Do you want me to help?” I asked because he was more into numbers and science, while I was better with words and art.

He glanced over his shoulder, offering me a wicked half-smile. “Yeah. Promise to go down on me when I finish.”

I snorted and threw his pillow at him. He caught it and hunched over to whack me on the butt with it. When I giggled, he leapt on me, his Hamlet paper apparently forgotten as he pushed me to my back.

He held himself over me, his hands on either side of my head, his thighs bracketing mine. He smelled so good, like his woodsy deodorant and fresh cotton and the gingerbread cookies that he’d snatched from the plate in the kitchen. He smelled like home. “I can’t wait until college, and I can get you naked whenever I want.”

I tried to smile but felt it wobble.

He ducked down to kiss my throat. “You’re looking at me like you have something to say.”

He knew me so well, and I sighed, combing my fingers into his hair, hoping it would be easier to tell him if I didn’t have to face him. I held him to me as he toyed with my sweatshirt, gliding his fingers under the hem and sneaking under the waistband of my jeans. He sucked at my collarbone, not making it very easy for me to get this off my chest.

“I…well…”

As if he knew, he wiggled his hand under my sweatshirt and T-shirt, pressing his big palm into the center of my chest, right above my heart. His skin was warm, his fingers slightly rough, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, emboldened by his sweet and gentle handling of me.

Evan was my best friend. What was I so afraid of?

“I don’t want to go to Ohio State,” I blurted. “I want to go to fashion school in New York.”

“You… What?” He jerked his head back, his hazel eyes searching my face for understanding.

“I know that’s what you had planned but?—”

“What I had planned,” he repeated, backing away from me to run his hands through his hair. “I thought it’s what we had planned.”

“I know.” I sat up. “I know, but I…” I shook my head, clearing it of my jumbled thoughts as his gaze swept over me again, a little angry, a lot frustrated. “The closer it gets, the more I realize it’s not what I want. I…I can’t…”

“You can’t what? Be with me?” he guessed, and I blanched.

“No. No, Evan, no. I love you.” I crawled into his lap, and his hands automatically cupped my butt as I bracketed his jaw with my fingers, my skin a few shades paler than his. “I love you so much.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, his brow furrowing as he breathed out through his nose. “But you don’t want to go to school with me.”

Now I was the one frustrated. “It’s not about you . It’s about me. It’s about what I want. You know how hard it’s been for me, being here,” I said, but I felt how that was another unintended slight. “I mean… God, why is this so hard?”

When my voice cracked, he fixed his gaze back on me, this time soft and sad. He soothed me with soft circles on my back. “Tell me.”

I swallowed down my nerves. “I need to figure out who I am. I was so unhappy when I came here, and you and your family were pretty much the only thing that made me feel better. But I can’t keep relying on you. I need to know who I am, and I want to see if I can make it. I want to see if I have any talent.”

“Of course, you’re talented. You need to go to New York to figure that out?” He nudged me off him and stood, pacing back and forth across his room. It wasn’t all that big, so he was more or less pivoting. “So what? Does this mean we’re done?”

I scrambled to my knees on the mattress, reaching for him. “What? No.”

“No?” He held onto my elbows as I curled my fingers into his shirt at his shoulders.

“No. We’re not done.”

“But…how?”

“I don’t know, but I know I want to be with you forever.”

His fingers tightened, almost to bruising strength, and he lowered his forehead to mine. “I want you forever, too.”

Whenever I talked about Evan to my aunt and uncle, they told me I was silly. That I was young and didn’t know what I wanted. That I’d change my mind.

I wouldn’t.

And it would be hard with us in different states, but we could figure it out.

“I love you,” I told him, and he kissed me gently.

“I’m sorry for getting upset.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you until now.”

He bent to kiss me again but pulled away suddenly.

“What?”

“I just realized if we don’t go to school together, I won’t be able to get you naked whenever I want.” He dropped his hands to my ass, yanking me against him. “Damn it.”

I laughed. “I haven’t even gotten in yet. I think we can?—”

“You’ll get in.”

His faith in me never failed to make me feel like I could do anything. His support was unflagging. He gave me confidence and was my comfort. There was no way I’d ever give him up. Because he’d never give up on me.

I kissed my appreciation into his mouth before he nibbled down my jaw then sucked lightly at my throat. He’d given me a hickey freshman year, and his parents still teased us about it.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he picked me up, only to toss me onto his bed. I was tall, but he was taller and had no problem throwing me around. He sank on top of me.

“We’re making hot chocolate!” Aiden barged into the room without knocking, and Evan heaved out an aggrieved sigh, hanging his head. “You want some?”

I laughed and pushed Evan off of me. “I do.” When he tossed me an annoyed glare, I held my hand out to him. “Come on.”

Aiden spun away to run down the hall, hollering about us wanting hot chocolate, as Evan readjusted himself in his jeans. I kissed his cheek. “This weekend.”

He linked his fingers with mine. “When? I thought you said you’d help out.”

Every year, the Hart Family Farm organized Hart Holiday Weekends during December, when Santa would come for pictures, and people could buy apple pies for their tables and wreaths for their doors, sip on cider and play some games. “Yeah, but we could sneak away.”

“In our Santa and elf costumes?”

I nodded, and he laughed, towing me to his side. “Whatever floats your boat, babe.”