Write or Wrong (Common Threads #9)

Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

FIRE AND THE FLOOD

SPOTTED! Fans saw Zara Lorna exiting a recording studio in Chicago with her beau Asa Young. CelebX was first to report the two dating back in October. Even though both sides denied the relationship it looks as though they’re still going strong.

XY Records is where she recorded her last major album. Does this mean another one is on the way? Also spotted in the photos is NMA’s Producer of the Year, Nikki Harry, leading fans to speculate new music is imminent.

Zara broke up with longtime boyfriend Logan Black last October. They met when they were sixteen and have always referred to the other as “the love of their life.” Logan more than hinted that Zara had been less than faithful in their relationship, even talking on a podcast last month about how he’s healing and moving on from “the biggest betrayal of his life.”

Diehard fans of Zara (Zaranators) have defended her online saying they hope she’s finally in a relationship with someone who makes her happy and casting doubt on Logan’s allegations.

CELEBX has reached out to Zara’s people for a comment but haven’t heard back.

Click here for a timeline of Logan and Zara’s relationship.

ZARA

The moments following Asa’s horrible sister posting her location online were kind of a blur.

Devan and Cas put her in the SUV along with Asa and just started driving.

Devan drove and Cas made phone calls. Zara didn’t know where they were going. She also didn’t ask. She didn’t anything.

She just stared out the window as they drove through the streets of Chicago, lights and cars and people, flying by.

Asa’s phone started to go off nonstop and he shut it down.

“Gregor will be here in a couple hours. Kenna and Sonja will fly in tomorrow morning,” Cas said.

Zara nodded.

All hands on deck.

Her house of cards falling in slow motion.

She’d known this day would come. She’d foolishly hoped she had more time.

They pulled into an underground garage of some kind. “Where are we?” she asked, sitting up straight and looking around.

“East Randolph Residence. It’s a secure complex. We already have a condo ready for you,” Cas answered.

She frowned and glanced over at Asa who averted his eyes.

Wait.

“Did you know about this?” she asked him.

He swallowed and finally met her eyes. “It was my idea.”

“What?” she breathed. When? How? What?

They parked and Cas got out of the SUV. He greeted someone in a suit and then waved at Devan.

Asa, for his part, looked guiltier than she’d ever seen him. “I called Sunshine and he told me to call Cipher Security. Cas knew someone there and we got you a safe house. Just in case.”

With every word he spoke, more of the floor fell out beneath her.

“You went behind my back, knowing how I felt, while promising to be on my side?—”

“I am on your side, Zara. It was just a precaution. Peace of mind. And now I’m really glad?—”

“You’re really glad you did it?” she asked, her insides starting to tremble.

His dark eyes pleaded with her in the back of the SUV. “I just want you to be safe,” he whispered.

Part of her knew he was right. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Not really. But in her mind Asa had always been hers . He wasn’t a part of the system that surrounded her. The one she paid to manage her life.

But he’d worked with Cas, despite her wishes, and had gotten her a new place to live. All without her knowing. She hadn’t suspected and he hadn’t felt it necessary to mention it.

She hadn’t even suspected…

Yanking the door open, she left the vehicle, slamming the door behind her.

Cas eyed her but didn’t say anything. This was something she expected from him. His job was to protect her, it’s what she paid him to do. It annoyed her sometimes when his priorities were different from hers. But he didn’t take it personally and neither did she.

She didn’t want to be annoyed with Asa.

She wanted to trust him. That had always been one of his most appealing character traits, his honesty.

This move didn’t feel honest.

It felt manipulative.

Which made her insides curl in on themselves.

She wrapped her arms around her middle and followed Cas, Devan right behind her, Asa somewhere behind her. After an elevator ride and a walk down a hallway, they stopped at a door. The man Cas had met in the garage opened the door and she went inside.

It was larger than she expected and fully furnished. But it wasn’t the house she’d grown accustomed to in East Lincoln Park. It wasn’t home.

“So what makes this better than where I was?” she asked Cas, ignoring Asa entirely.

“It’s the most secure residence building in the city. On site security guards, cameras, and it’s un-hackable,” Cas explained.

“What does that mean?”

Cas shrugged. “Not even the government can get to you.”

Well.

That sounded pretty secure. Still. She wasn’t happy about how this had happened.

Devan lifted her eyebrows at Cas and gestured toward the door.

Cas took a breath. “Right.” He faced Zara. “We have to go check out the Lincoln Park house. On our way over here, the alarm was tripped and then disabled.”

Zara’s breathing stopped. “What?” she breathed. “The house alarm?”

Cas held her eyes for a beat, face hard as stone. “The alarms on the terrace. Do not leave here. Promise me.”

Zara’s gaze flicked to Asa who had a hand on the back of his neck but was watching her closely. She swallowed but her throat felt tight. “Okay.”

“Promise,” Cas repeated.

“I promise.” She sucked in a breath. “Do you have to go? Can’t you send the police?”

A muscle jumped in Cas’s cheek. “I’ll be right back,” he said, sounding more confident than she felt.

She nodded and her stomach churned as she watched him and Devan walk out the door. She caught a glimpse of a man in black standing guard outside the door right before it closed.

The silence in the apartment filled her head until her ears rang.

What if it was Kramer? Or someone else? How had they found where she was living so fast? The photos had only gone public an hour ago. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was a blip in the electricity. Or the property owner checking in on things.

What if Cas and Devan got hurt?

Because of her.

She pressed a hand to her stomach and started to pace.

“Are you okay?” Asa asked.

She ignored him and kept pacing. Her stomach roiled and she squeezed her eyes shut.

No, no, no, no, no. I’m not going to be sick. No. Not now.

But then she thought about Cas and Devan walking into an unknown situation because of her and she was bolting down the hall, hoping the bathroom was nearby.

It was.

“Hey.” Asa knocked on the door of the bathroom. “Are you okay?”

Zara turned off the faucet and looked at herself in the mirror. Mascara pooled in black smears under her eyes, above flushed cheeks. She grabbed a towel and dried her face.

She didn’t even have a toothbrush here. Tears welled in her eyes again and she sank back to her knees on the floor.

“Zara?” Asa asked.

She buried her face in the towel and tried to cry as quietly as possible. She didn’t want him to know. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to be worried about Cas and Devan. And she didn’t want to be in this place that didn’t feel like hers.

She wanted to go home.

She sucked in a shuddering breath and sat down, pushing her back against the wall.

I want to go home.

A therapist she once went to told her that the desire to go home came from a place of anxiety. An intense longing for safety and familiarity.

It didn’t happen all the time, but when it did, it hurt deep in her chest. A hollow burning like she couldn’t breathe.

I want to go home.

“Zara?” came his voice again, this time softer, and closer to the ground like he knew she was sitting down.

She sniffled and he sighed.

“Why did you do that?” she asked.

He shifted and she heard a soft thud on the door like he was dropping his head there.

“I get so tired of explaining myself over and over and everyone else is so busy talking over me and telling me what I need that they never actually hear me.” She rolled the towel into a ball in her lap, unrolled it and then re-rolled it again.

“Would you have ever told me?” she asked, her voice cracking. “Or was it just going to be this secret thing you did behind my back?” She pitched her voice deeper. “ What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

Fresh tears filled her eyes. “What else would you end up hiding from me?” she whispered. “You’re just like the rest of them.”

“Please let me in,” he begged softly, voice strained.

“No. I’m mad at you,” she said. She didn’t sound mad though and she hated that.

“You can be mad at me. I just don’t want you to be alone. Please…”

She didn’t want to be alone either. She wanted to be held by him. But not the him right now. The him she thought he was before. The man she trusted and loved and adored and who would never deceive her. For any reason. Not even to protect her.

He had been hers. He hadn’t been part of the system around her. He wasn’t part of the brand or the industry, he’d been…hers.

And now…now she didn’t know what he was.

She knew her life came with a certain amount of threat. She wasn’t completely na?ve to how the world worked. That’s why she had the best protecting her.

Oh, God. Cas. Devan.

What if something happened to them?

It was all her fault. They wouldn’t be in danger if it wasn’t for her. If she’d just listened to them instead of thinking she knew everything.

“What if something happens—” Her voice cut off, choked with terrifying possibilities.

Panic compressed her chest and cramped her stomach.

She reached up and unlocked the door.

He slowly pushed it open and she was right, he was lying on the floor.

He crawled into the bathroom and sat beside her, his shoulder brushing hers, their hips aligned, their legs stretched out in front of them.

Exactly how they’d sat beside each other that October night. Except she was the one freaking out this time.

Her breaths came in heavy pants as she tried to get them under control. Hot tears ran unchecked down her face and she pressed her hands to her stomach. A mournful sob echoed from her chest and she curled in on herself.

Strong arms came around her as he pulled her into his lap. She buried her face in his neck, clutching at his t-shirt. He caged her in with his legs on either side and his arms around her shoulders.

“I’m so stupid,” she cried against him, her lungs laboring to get a whole breath. “This is all my fault!”

His chest rumbled with soft words she couldn’t understand. A hand rubbed up and down her spine and made slow circles at the top and bottom of each pass.

She wanted to crawl inside his warmth and never come out.

His rumbled words turned into something familiar. It wasn’t until her breathing had steadied and her tears had slowed that she began to hear the song he was singing to her.

Maybe because she was from Jersey so he chose another Jersey native to bring her comfort. Maybe because he’d caught her listening to this band more than once. Maybe because they were connected in places no one else could begin to grasp.

But his calm and careful rendition of Bleachers’ “Isimo” sliced through her anxiety and soothed some primal part of her soul.

And she wanted, wanted, wanted to believe him.

ASA

He didn’t know how long he held her. A while.

Eventually her body relaxed against his and her breathing evened out. She was awake but somewhere else mentally. He kept singing and smoothing his hand up and down her spine.

She let go of his shirt and wrapped her arms around his middle.

The door to the apartment opened and he turned his head to the bathroom doorway in time to see a man with a military style haircut dressed like he was trying too hard to look like a civilian.

“They’re in here,” he said, stepping aside for another man to join them.

Zara didn’t move. Her body gave no indication that she knew anyone else had arrived.

The second man took in Asa and Zara’s position, the proximity to the toilet, and the towels she’d thrown on the floor.

He licked his lips and nodded once. “I have something that will ease her stomach,” he said.

Asa didn’t want to move her though. She’d finally stopped crying.

The man, who Asa had deduced was Gregor, left and came back with some pills and a glass of water. He sat down beside Asa and nudged Zara’s shoulder gently.

“You want some water?” he asked.

Zara gradually straightened a bit and looked over at Gregor. Her eyebrows lifted slowly like she just realized he was there. She nodded.

He handed her the pills and the glass. She took them and handed the water back when she was done.

“What if we go sit in the living room?” Gregor asked gently.

Asa held perfectly still. If she didn’t want to move, he wasn’t making her. He wasn’t ever making that mistake again.

The look in her eyes when she’d found out he’d gotten her this apartment… She’d never looked at him like that. Like he’d just surprised her in the worst way.

He still maintained that having a backup plan was a good idea. But he shouldn’t have done it secretly.

It had become painfully clear within seconds that he’d overstepped. Protective wasn’t a valid excuse for disrespecting her autonomy.

He’d experienced regret in his life more times than he could count. But the regret he felt in that moment was like a knife to his soul.

Her broken questions through the door had driven the knife deeper. When she’d opened the door he knew it wasn’t for his benefit. It was because she was hurting and scared and she didn’t want to be alone.

Zara nodded in answer to Gregor’s question but she didn’t move. Asa couldn’t get up without her participation so he didn’t move either.

After a few minutes, she let him go and started to unfold her body.

His muscles tightened as they fought against pulling her back into his arms. Cold air swirled in the gap between their bodies and he helped her get to her feet.

Gregor took her hand and led her out of the bathroom.

Asa followed, though he felt less needed than he had a minute ago.

She sat down on the couch, her tan complexion paler than he’d ever seen it, her golden eyes downturned and flat. She wrapped her arms around her middle and shivered.

Asa shed his flannel and handed it to her. She put her arms in the holes and pulled it tight around her even though she didn’t look at him once.

Gregor’s eyes bounced between the two of them but he didn’t say anything.

Asa had heard all about Gregor, the world’s greatest assistant. But this was their first time meeting. Which sucked for a lot of reasons.

“Have you heard from…?” Asa asked, not wanting to say the names in case it made her start crying again.

Gregor shook his head once and the door to the apartment opened.

All of them looked that direction as Cas and Devan entered.

Zara made a noise that was half-shout half-sob and threw herself at the enormous bodyguard.

Cas caught her, one big palm on the back of her head. He smiled the smallest, sweetest smile as he returned the embrace.

“We’re okay,” he said.

“What happened?” Gregor asked immediately.

Cas took a big breath and waited for Zara to let him go. “We should sit.”

Zara returned to the couch next to Gregor. Asa stayed standing near the opposite wall, unsure he be welcomed on the couch.

Cas took a seat in a chair that creaked under his size. Devan slid onto a stool at the breakfast bar and Asa noticed she was wearing different clothes than she had been earlier. His eyes flicked back to Cas. So was he.

“Lyle Kramer is in police custody,” Cas said.

Zara sucked in a short breath. “Was he?—?”

Cas nodded. “He was at Lincoln Park when we arrived.” He cast a glance toward Devan whose expression was more impassive than usual. “We easily overpowered him and waited for the police.”

Asa heard something in his voice and he wondered…

“Tell me all of it,” Zara said, voice stony. She’d heard it too.

Cas swallowed. “He’d gotten in through the French doors in the upstairs bedroom. We found him in the closet. We believe his plan was to hide until you’d fallen asleep. He…fought us and was injured in the process. His wounds weren’t fatal.”

Zara touched her lips with her fingertips.

“There’s more.” Cas took another breath. “His clothes had been soaked in kerosene. He had brought enough accelerant to burn down the house. We think that was his backup plan. We searched through his personal items and found the Lincoln Park address in a text two days ago from a number we’re still tracking down.”

Cas’s gray eyes flicked to Asa’s for a beat and he knew exactly why. It wasn’t Shelby that had led him to her.

“If those pictures hadn’t gotten leaked…” Zara said, her expression clearly working out the math of the day. Her gaze landed on Asa. “Then we would have been home when he broke in.”

“We would have found him with our sweep,” Cas reassured her.

But that would have put her there, with Kramer, even if only for a moment. And if he had fought Cas and Devan to the point of getting wounded, there was no telling how he would have behaved if Zara had been present.

If they all would have gone up in flames.

Zara seemed to be thinking that as well because a shiver racked her body.

Everything inside him reached for her. From bones to blood, it brought him to her side, whether she wanted him there or not.

He’d barely taken a seat when she pushed herself onto his lap. His arms went around her and he tried to absorb the tiny tremors running through her frame.

Discussion continued around them in murmured tones. Gregor and Cas moved into the kitchen with Devan. Asa didn’t care what they said or what plans they needed to make. His priority, the one thing that mattered and would only ever matter to him, was the woman in his arms.

Her delicate heart and tender soul. She put on this brave, unflappable face because her job required her to be invincible. But she wasn’t.

All those qualities that her fans adored about her, the honesty and the vulnerability. The way she bared her emotions in her music and songwriting, the reason so many could relate to her, was because of the way she carried her heart out into the world like an offering.

Sacrificing its safety for the benefit of people she didn’t even know.

She was the bravest person he’d ever known.

He’d follow her forever.

Her soft breath puffed against his neck and he tightened his hold on her.

“You were right,” she said. Another tremor rippled through her.

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to the top of her head. A chasm of agony opened up through his middle. He wasn’t right. Not in the thing that mattered.

Shelby had given him enough experience with crazy that he’d been able to predict a logical outcome to the Lyle Kramer shit. But he wasn’t right in how he’d handled it.

And he didn’t know if there was anything he could do to fix the damage he’d done to her. To them.

Because what was love without trust?

The worst part was knowing she’d never have done that to him. She’d have kept talking to him, appealed to his sensibilities, continued communication instead of what he’d done.

In one well-intentioned move, he’d placed himself in the court of people who cared about her, surrounded her, but didn’t stand with her.

Leaving her alone in the center of a storm.

“Please don’t leave me,” she said.

Her words ripped his soul in two.

This was what he’d done. He’d introduced doubt into something that had been balanced and beautiful. And now she felt she didn’t know him enough to know there was no way he’d leave her.

“Never,” he promised, his voice cracking with the weight of his regret.

Nothing about her life—the crowds, the media, the stalkers, the constant attention—scared him the way the thought of losing her did.

Because being with her was the only thing that made sense.

In a world filled with fakery and fear, she was the truest thing he’d ever known. His heart would never belong to anyone else. It was hers forever.