Written by a Woman

Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

SIGNE

If this guy referred to me as “kid” one more time, I was going to throw up in my mouth.

Jake, the date that I swiped right on this morning, who had immediately messaged me asking if I wanted to meet up for lunch, was a little older than the men I usually went out with. He was forty-two, twelve years older than I was. He was handsome. He had dark brown hair with a touch of grey over the ears. Jake had blue eyes, a kind smile, and no pictures of dead fish or animals anywhere on his profile.

Most importantly, he wasn’t Zaid Ansara.

I was determined to squash any romantic hopes or interests on my part. The progress I was making on my manuscript didn’t allow me to explore whether Zaid returned my feelings. The ethics were still very grey.

I had just said something to make Jake laugh, which made me wince as his laughter boomed loudly and a little obnoxiously across the little café we sat in. Whatever I said probably justified a small chuckle or a scoff, not…whatever that was.

“You’re funny, kid,” Jake wiped a tear from his eye as his shoulders shook, another laugh escaping him.

I couldn’t stop my grimace this time, an expression he noticed but pretended not to as he finally pulled himself together enough to clear his throat and rest his forearms on the table.

I made a show of checking the time on my phone, “I should probably get back to work soon,” I turned my wince into one of disappointment, even though I was desperate to get out of there and block the guy. The date wasn’t the worst date I had ever been on, but it wasn’t a good time either. He never asked me questions and was already in the habit of cutting me off mid-sentence to add his own two cents. The only time I could get a word in was when I interrupted him, which is probably why he was so startled by my last sarcastic remark to whatever story he was telling, and I laughed as obnoxiously as he did.

“Oh, wow, I didn’t realize it’s already been an hour,” his eyes widened as he gave me a sheepish expression, darting to my chest quickly while pulling his wallet out and laying some money down on the table.

I thanked Jake for covering the bill as we both gathered our things and stood, walking awkwardly next to each other out of the cafe. He placed his hand on my lower back to guide me out of the door first, so I took a larger, dramatic step away from him to get him to drop his hand as soon as we were both outside.

“I had a great time, kid,” part of me was convinced he couldn’t pronounce my name and was too prideful to ask me how to again, “Are you free this weekend?” He stood in front of me, blocking my path and lowering his head to meet my eyes. His body was a little too close to mine again, so I stepped back once more to create distance.

“I’ll have to double-check,” I smiled, mentally checking the list of how to turn down a man and not become a skin suit afterward, “I’m getting together with some friends.” Vague, believable, and gives enough reason to not commit to anything at this very moment. I finished it off with a friendly smile and shouldered my purse, checking the time on my phone one more time to emphasize the importance of me returning to work at this moment.

“You’re not going to ghost me, are you?” His words were a joke, and his tone was a joke, but the look in his eyes let me know this wasn’t the first time a woman was not interested in making plans with him after one date. I felt my body tense at his words, and my smile became a little wobblier than I would have liked.

“Does that happen to you often?” I countered, wondering if I had just blown everything.

He rolled his eyes, his friendly smile fading to something more bitter, before shoving his hands in his pockets and saying, “I’ve been doing this longer than you have. I know when a woman is trying to shake me, I’m not stupid.”

I blinked at him, my mouth hanging open in shock before I caught myself and snapped it closed, “Okay.”

Jake gave me a once over, longing clearly in his eyes before he replied, “You’re not even going to try denying it?”

I lifted my shoulder, “I don’t really see why I should.”

He frowned, looking down at the ground, “Is it something I did?”

I tilted my head, shifting my weight on one hip before crossing my arms across my chest and assessing him, “Do you really want to know, or do you want me to soothe your ego?” I tried to ask the question as gently as I could, but he still flinched. He still pressed his lips together in a firm line before giving me a hurt expression. After the longest couple of seconds of my life, he finally lifted both of his shoulders and grumbled to the ground.

“I keep striking out,” his hand lifted, and he rubbed his neck as he continued, “If there is something I’m doing that’s off-putting, I’d like to know.”

I sighed, checking the time on my phone once more before I saw a text message from Zaid.

My heart skipped a beat at the notification, but I ignored it while I addressed Jake.

“Look,” I relaxed my body language, my tense shoulders loosening, in an attempt to get him to relax as well, “You’re a really nice guy. You’re chivalrous and kind and handsome,” his head lifted a little as hope coated his expression, right before I added, “But you didn’t let me get a word in.”

His brows furrowed the slightest bit, “I didn’t?”

“No,” I shook my head once, “I know all about you. I know what you do for work, what your hobbies are, and why your cat got his name. I know about your friends and their partners and a couple of fun memories you have with them,” he was nodding slightly as I listed off all the things he spoke about during our date, “And yet, you don’t know any of those things about me in return.”

His ears started to turn a little pink, his lips tucking into his mouth before releasing a clearly embarrassed sigh.

Right when he opened his mouth to reply, I quickly cut him off, “And you interrupted me six times within one hour.”

Jake’s eyes widened a little before he slumped his shoulders, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“Thank you,” I gave him what I hoped was an encouraging smile, “But now you know.”

He gave me another sheepish expression, his gaze dropping to my chest once more before he leaned forward the slightest bit and asked, “Is there any way I can get a second chance?”

I felt my smile falter, my eyes tightening as I struggled to keep a polite expression without hurting his feelings, “I…don’t think so.”

Jake nodded, stepping back away from me, “Then, well, thank you for letting me know what I can work on going forward.”

“Of course,” I smiled, exhausted from this short but stressful conversation. How was I the one teaching a forty-two-year-old man how to act on a first date? We bid each other goodbye, me awkwardly shoving my hand out for a shake at the same moment he opened his arms for a hug, and then I speed-walked back to the office.

I also kept checking my surroundings to ensure that he hadn’t started following me back to work because even though he seemed to understand my rejection, I hadn’t been so lucky in the past. Men could be persistent.

As soon as I entered the building, I pulled my phone out to read Zaid’s text, which was really just a meme about how most meetings could be emails instead. I had seen the meme plenty of times because I had been an active member of the internet for years. However, the fact that Zaid had stumbled upon this meme and felt the need to send it to me made something warm bloom in my chest.

It’s just a stupid meme, Signe .

I was grinning as I stepped off the elevators towards my desk, almost stumbling into Nikhil.

“Eyes up, Signe,” Nikhil nodded before stepping around me and entering the elevator I had just vacated. See ? I thought to myself, Nikhil could say my name right, so why couldn’t Jake ?

“My bad,” I waved goodbye to him as I stepped backward toward my desk, “I was just—” warm, large hands grabbed my shoulders and halted my retreat. I yelped in surprise, freezing at the same moment a low voice spoke into my ear.

“You are O for two, Signe,” Zaid teased before quickly releasing my shoulders, allowing me to spin around and see that I was a step away from colliding with him.

I narrowed my eyes at Zaid playfully, ignoring the heat coursing through my veins at the sound of this man saying my name right every single time, “Maybe you both were just in my way.”

Nikhil’s laughter was cut off by the elevator door’s closing, so Zaid raised a dark eyebrow as he watched me round my desk and set my purse down, “Sure, blame the victims you were bulldozing into. Not the fact that you were glued to your phone.” His dark eyes dropped to said phone in my hands.

“I was looking at the meme you sent me, for your information,” I raised my eyebrows, showing him my screen that still had the meme displayed as evidence. Zaid grinned, making me get lost for just a moment as I contemplated what it would be like if Zaid had been my lunch date instead. How easily the conversation would have flowed between both of us. How I wouldn’t have been eager to step out of his touch if his hand rested on my lower back.

Hell, I was frazzled by the feeling of his hands on my shoulders a moment ago, and that was simply in self-preservation on his part.

My phone buzzed in my hand, and Zaid’s eyebrows lowered as his eyes focused on whatever notification popped up on my phone. I turned the device around to see and frowned at the message I had just received from Jake on the dating app.

Jake: If you ever want to get together again, just say the word.

I grimaced, before blocking his account and closing out of the app.

“Whose Jake?” Zaid asked, resting his forearms on my desk.

Damn, those were nice forearms .

Those two veins always did things to me.

“Hmm?” I asked, as I wondered if he brushed his arm hair in a certain direction, or if his arm hair naturally fell perfectly like that.

“Jake?” He pressed, making me tear my gaze from the free forearm porn I was admiring, to stare the CTO in the eye.

“Oh,” I waved a hand dismissively in the air, “Just a lunch date that I won’t be seeing again.” I gave Zaid a look that showed just how unimpressed I was with Jake.

Zaid was silent for a moment, his lips pressed together as a myriad of expressions flickered over his face before I had the chance to recognize them, “A lunch date? Do you do those often?”

“Sometimes,” I shrugged before plopping down in my desk chair, “Though today reminded me why I took such a long break from them,” I pulled myself closer to my computer, before rethinking and pushing away to turn to face Zaid directly, “He didn’t even comment on my sweater!” which was astonishing, considering the number of times his eyes dropped to my chest.

I tugged the bottom of my sweater away from my body, showing off the lettering to Zaid while also concealing the shape of my breasts underneath so it wouldn’t be weird.

Zaid’s dark eyes dropped, and the corner of his lips tipped up before he made eye contact with me again, “He didn’t?”

“He didn’t! ” I slapped my palms down on the desk, loving how Zaid was validating me on this one, “Do you have any idea how easy it could have been? This sweatshirt is an icebreaker itself. It can start lots of interesting conversations. Instead, he just talked at me the entire time.”

Zaid frowned, “What a loser.”

“I know,” I glanced down at my sweater, reading the text out loud, “‘Hot Girls Read Books’. He could have asked me what I liked to read, what I read most recently, what the worst book I ever read was. The more I think about it, the more insane it is that I wasted this sweater on him.”

“What do you like to read?” Zaid asked, startling me from my rant and making me snap my head up.

“Huh?”

“What do you like to read?” Zaid repeated himself, nodding towards my sweatshirt once before adjusting one of the rolled-up sleeves of his shirt. I narrowed my eyes at him, my lips quirked to the side as I wondered how this conversation could go. How I ended up in a conversation with the very man whose appearance I was plagiarizing every single day.

“Romance, mostly.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re challenging me.”

“Maybe I am,” I shrugged, pulling my chair forward so my torso could lean over my desk as I narrowed my eyes even more at the CTO. I had a feeling that he and I both remembered the smut-tastrophy in his office during the Halloween party, so I was preparing myself for some sort of eye roll or scoff or any other sort of dismissive remark, “Got anything to say about what I read?”

“Um,” Zaid blinked, yet held my stare without moving a muscle, “No?” He was playing a weird game of chicken with me. I leaned into his space, my hands gripping the edge of my desk while I narrowed one of my eyes. I was studying his expression for tells of a lie of some sort. He just stayed put, leaning his forearms on my desk and waiting for me to finish my inspection.

“Interesting.” That was what I said before I pulled away and turned my body back toward my computer.

“Why is that interesting?” Zaid asked, removing his forearms from my desk to stand taller.

“Most men hate the genre; it makes them uncomfortable.” I turned to give him another stink eye, letting my eyes trail his body up and down as if I was suspicious of him and not just taking the opportunity to ogle his form in the workplace.

“I don’t know enough about the genre to hate on it,” Zaid shrugged, pulling his phone out of his pocket and frowning at something, “Besides that snippet you showed me on Halloween, of course.” I smothered a giggle; glad he was willing to still joke about the time I accidentally gave him smut.

Zaid’s eyes stayed glued to his phone, though. His job always seemed way more demanding than mine.

While thumbing away on his phone, Zaid nodded his head goodbye, heading towards his office, and I made myself inhale a deep breath to get back into the workflow mindset. I rested my hand over my heart, begging it to calm down, desperately reminding it that Zaid was not someone we needed to develop feelings for. That the CTO of the company I currently worked for was not someone I should crush on this hard.

Stealing his looks for a fictional character in my novel?

Sure, whatever.

Becoming more and more attached to him, desperately clinging to every word he speaks and every smirk he gives?

Fun, but not the end goal.

While it was easy for me to lose myself in his dark eyes, admire his always perfectly trimmed beard, and every other part of his playful personality, I needed to keep my head in the game.

Even though a year ago he never would have put both of his hands on my shoulders in the office.

And the fact that he was comfortable putting his hands on me in any form, self-protection or not, made something flutter in my stomach.

No , I scolded myself, even if he is attracted to you in that way, it’s not okay.

I replayed those words in my mind over and over again the rest of the day, even though I knew I had little hope of truly convincing myself.