Written by a Woman

Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

SIGNE

That night there was a knock on my door, and I barely had the energy to move my eyeballs in that direction.

I ignored the knock.

I hadn’t ordered anything, my mother was out of state at some artist’s retreat, and I was ignoring the incoming messages and notifications on my phone for the time being.

Wallowing alone in self-pity was needed at the moment.

The knock sounded again, followed by a familiar voice I hadn’t heard in a long time, “Signe, I’m going to pee on your doorstep if you don’t answer!”

I immediately jumped off the couch and ran, throwing open the front door to see Eloise St. James standing there in all her pregnant glory.

“Hi—”

“I’m going to pee my pants,” Eloise interrupted my greeting by quickly elbowing me out of her way and making a beeline toward my bathroom.

I laughed, after righting myself. Eloise was a smaller woman than me, in every way, and yet she almost knocked me on the ground to get to the bathroom in time.

After slamming the bathroom door closed, there was a sigh of relief that echoed in the bathroom as she relieved herself, making me laugh out loud again as I walked back to the couch.

A minute or so later, Eloise emerged from the bathroom, giving a grateful smile as she wandered over to me. A significant bump was already pushing against her shirt, and I clapped my hands excitedly as she noticed where my gaze landed and posed side to side for me to admire her pregnant belly.

“You’re so cute!” I squealed, “You make pregnancy look adorable.”

“That’s nice,” Eloise smiled as she finally settled herself on the couch next to me, throwing her feet up on my coffee table just like I was sitting, “But I’m always one sneeze away from either peeing or shitting my pants.”

I snorted and took a moment to laugh some more, “Is that why you decided to stop by without notice?”

Eloise shrugged her shoulders, “I knew I wouldn’t make it home from shopping with my mom in Newport, and when I realized how close your apartment was and how long it’s been since we’ve hung out, I decided to insert myself into your Friday night.”

I gave her what tried to become a grateful smile before my lip wobbled and I felt the threat of tears start to sting my eyes.

Eloise’s clear blue eyes widened at me in response, and she quickly tucked her light blonde hair behind her ears before throwing herself at me in a hug. I didn’t start sobbing or anything, because I was determined not to wallow too much about facing the consequences of my own actions, but I did hug her back while some traitorous tears escaped.

“Is everything okay?” Eloise asked against my hair. She smelled so good, like roses or something.

“No,” I sniffled, pulling back from her hug, and wiping my eyes with my sweatshirt sleeve, “I quit my job today.”

Eloise raised her eyebrows for a moment, nodded once, and waited for me to elaborate. When I didn’t, she asked, “…The job you’ve wanted to quit since starting?”

I smiled and huffed a laugh because she wasn’t wrong. I probably was giving off a lot of mixed signals.

“It’s more complicated than that.”

Eloise waited, so I released a heavy breath and made myself fill her in on everything regarding Zaid.

Everything including the live stream, the desk plant in apology to women everywhere, and the homemade lunches, until this afternoon. When Jacqueline discovered my deep dark secret, told Zaid about it, making me panic and quit so that I wouldn’t have to face his disgust with me.

“So, you haven’t spoken to him since you overheard Jacqueline telling him?” Eloise asked, “Has he reached out?”

I shrugged, “My phone is silenced in my bedside drawer.” I nodded my head in the direction of my bed against the other wall.

“…But what if he’s not upset about it, though,” Eloise pressed.

“Call me crazy,” I gave her a deadpan look, “But the look on his face really made me doubt that the man who wanted to wait to lay his pipe inside of me until we were serious was happy to hear that I had been writing a romance about him. A romance that includes some not safe for work, explicit content.”

Eloise was already giggling before I finished my sentences.

I smiled at her, waiting for her to catch her breath. Her face turned bright red with her laughter, a sign of the high blood pressure she had been struggling with since becoming pregnant a second time. “Hold on,” Eloise breathed through her giggles, trying to regulate, “Laying pipe. Good god.”

“Would you prefer dipping his wick? Entering my castle? Filling me out like an application? Putting his wand in my chamber of secrets? Shooting his meat rocket into my—” I was stopped by Eloise’s hand slapping itself over my mouth as she cackled.

“I’m going to pee again, you need to stop,” Eloise giggled some more. I listened to her warning because even though my couch wasn’t the nicest one around, I still didn’t want to clean her pee out of it.

After giving Eloise a few moments to catch her breath, I shifted and rested my fist on my cheek, my elbow on the back of the couch, “How are you doing with this pregnancy? You already have a little one this time. Do any of you need anything?”

Eloise rested her head on the back of the couch, her hand resting over her heart as she grinned at my question, “I don’t think so. Logan being retired is probably the best thing that happened for us.” I grinned, jealous that someone in their early forties could retire and be financially secure for the remainder of their lives. Perks of playing in the NHL, I guess, “Plus my parents are super helpful with Iris, thank god. She’s the most energetic four-year-old I’ve ever met.”

I believed her. Eloise used to work at a facility that provided therapies for babies and toddlers before teaching an exercise class at the gym where I met her. I went to it for a one-week duration, before never going back again. Because I hated sweating.

We became friends almost immediately though.

“Logan is excited to have a boy, too,” Eloise rubbed her bump thoughtfully.

“Was he nervous about having Iris?” I didn’t remember him having a nervous attitude at all during Eloise’s first pregnancy. I just remembered the gigantic man fawning over his pregnant wife the entire time, making my heart explode from the cuteness. Big men being doting husbands and loving dads always did things to me.

Zaid would probably be just like Logan, should he ever have kids like he wants.

“Not at all,” Eloise shook her head once, “He was thrilled at the news of having a girl. I think he would have been more nervous having a boy as our first. His dad is…well, who knows where he is. But he wasn’t a great father figure, to put it bluntly. So, he was worried he wouldn’t know how to be a good boy dad himself. Going to personal therapy again, and having Iris first, I think, gave him the parenting confidence he needed to be the kind of boy dad he knows he wants to be. Plus, one of our close friends is a good example of being a supportive father figure with their little girl and soon-to-be boy.”

“Oh, so your kids have built-in friends to play with too,” I clasped my fingers together, thrilled to watch Eloise live her best suburban life. Watching what it was like to be a parent, and to have a support system nearby.

“Yeah, my friend Courtney is currently pregnant with their first son, too. We’re due around the same time,” Eloise shook her head once, “But you’re distracting me by asking a lot of questions about my life. So let’s fix that.” Eloise gave me a look that she probably gave her daughter when she was acting up, “I think you should check your phone and see if Hot Marvel Nerd reached out to you at all.”

I snorted, “His name is Zaid.”

“Zaid, of course,” Eloise grinned, “What if he texted you saying he’s totally happy with you writing erotic fanfiction about him?”

I tried to smile, but it was wobbly again. The anxiety I had been desperately trying to shove down into nothing for months was catching up to me. I could feel it in every muscle in my body. It was exhausting just sitting here trying to wrap my head around the entire situation. The anxiety I felt about it all made me freeze, which is probably why I decided to just hide my phone for the time being. My life was already a disaster, how terrible could holding off on responding to messages be?

“…Maybe I’ll check my phone tomorrow,” I shrugged noncommittally, “But for now, I’d love to watch a movie with you.”

Eloise gave me a small smile as she reached behind us and grabbed my throw blanket, covering both of our legs in it as she snuggled closer to me, “As long as it isn’t anything sexy, I’m down.”

I gave her a look, “So like, nothing with sex scenes?”

“Or sexual tension,” she lifted a hand and started listing off requirements on her fingers, “Or longing looks, or hand flexes, or wet clothing, or hot people, or—”

“Eloise, that’s every movie ever.”

“Well,” she shrugged, “I’m reaching the crazy horny stage of the second trimester,” she gave me a wide-eyed look, “I can’t keep jumping Logan every day.”

I cackled, “I think he’s fine with it.”

“Well of course he’s fine with it,” she lifted a hand and gestured vaguely down her body, “I’m a hot piece of ass carrying his gigantic baby. However, I also have things to do. Places and people to see. I can’t spend all day in bed with him. Someone needs to feed Iris.”

My shoulders were shaking with laughter, before I offered, “If you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to spend some time with Iris. Maybe she and I can spend the day together and have a sleepover while you and Logan get a hotel room for a night.”

Eloise stared at me in silence for a moment, making me wonder if my offer was out of line in some way, before she eventually said, “I’m trying to convince myself to turn this down since my parents literally just had a sleepover with her at their house, but I don’t think I’m going to. I’m taking this opportunity. I’ll talk to Logan and let you know what dates work best for us.”

I patted her thigh over the throw blanket, “Perfect.”

After going through my favorite streaming services, Eloise vetoing every suggestion I had because it was all just too sexy, we decided to land on a nature documentary about dolphins and whales.

It was nice, sitting on my couch with my friend, having some sort of company after the shittiest day ever. Throughout the documentary, in between Eloise trying to mimic the whale and dolphin’s noises to the best of her ability, I kept staring over at my nightstand where my phone lay.

Perhaps Eloise was right, and Zaid would be the kind of guy who didn’t mind what I did. Or at the very least, would be willing to let me apologize for crossing a boundary? But I just kept picturing the visible anger on his face when Jacqueline showed him all the damning evidence, and I squashed that hope.

So, I decided to embrace my need to freeze things for the time being. I focused my energy on my friend living her best life, sitting on my couch, taking a ton of pee breaks, and giggling with me at our ridiculousness.

Tomorrow was a new day, and even though I had no real plans on how to address anything, I knew I couldn’t do any of it without a full night’s sleep. Eloise eventually left at the end of the documentary, hugging me tightly in her arms again. Once I closed the door behind her, I popped a gummy to ensure that I didn’t toss and turn all night from stress.