XOXO: A Bundle of Cozy Novellas

Edmund

EDMUND

It was snowing again , and Edmund just couldn’t bring himself to wish it would stop. He was living a fantasy at the moment, and reality could stay as far away as possible. Dragging himself out of the Jacuzzi, he knew he resembled a beached whale instead of the sexy man Owen deserved. Luckily, Owen had headed inside to change into dry clothing.

Snow was falling thick and fast, as it had the night before, quickly adding to the inches already on the ground. He shivered; the cold air was punishing after the steamy hot tub. As fast as he could, Edmund snatched up his towel, wrapping it around himself, and gathered up the wine and plastic glasses.

What just happened in the hot tub with Owen played over and over in his memory. An endless loop of Owen , Owen’s hand, Owen’s fingers, Owen’s tongue in Edmund’s mouth. Edmund wanted all that and more. He was still aroused—or aroused again, anyway—and he wasn’t quite ready to confess to Owen just how long it had been since he’d experienced orgasm with something other than his own hand, not a fact he was exactly proud of. The dating scene was hard, Edmund too shy and awkward; he usually ended up racking his brain trying to force conversation between himself and his date and ending up saying something completely embarrassing or irrelevant. But he wasn’t that way around Owen, was he? Or at least Owen wasn’t bothered by the way Edmund’s mind worked. Taking a breath, he pushed the door open and went inside before he got frostbite.

In the great room, Owen crouched in front of the fireplace. He’d put his slacks and sweater back on, but his feet were bare. Edmund set the wine and glasses on the island-counter before heading to the loo to put on his clothes. It was ridiculous, he knew, after what they’d done, but he felt shy around the younger man.

The bathroom wasn’t large by any stretch of the imagination. There wasn’t even a tub, only a shower that would be a stretch for two. There was, inexplicably, a full-length mirror mounted to the back of the door. A person would only know it was there if they shut the door completely—as Edmund had done. Just what he needed, a good long look at his naked body. Purposefully he turned his back to the shiny glass, reminding himself Owen seemed to like what he saw.

Owen’s damp boxers hung over the single towel bar on the space between the sink and the shower. Edmund sighed, peeling off his own sodden boxers and hanging them next to Owen’s. He didn’t fancy going commando underneath his jeans, but he didn’t have a choice, did he? Next time they used a hot tub he was stripping naked instead of worrying about Owen seeing his bits.

“Spaghetti? We can add the salami to it,” Owen asked when Edmund finally emerged, trying to tug his pants from where they were uncomfortably riding up the crack of his arse.

“Sounds delish.”

“Next time we get stranded, I’ll make sure we have more options,” Owen said jokingly.

Edmund didn’t want to be reminded there was a real world outside the cabin. The fantasy he’d built in his head over the past twenty-four hours or so, it wouldn’t last, he knew. It had an expiration date: if not the day they finally made it over the pass and back to Skagit, it would likely happen once the holidays were past. Edmund had been serious when he told Owen he liked Pearl and was happy to attend Christmas dinner with him.

He knew it was foolish to let himself believe, as if there was a magic Christmas elf who’d bring him a boyfriend—no, the partner he’d been missing for years. Well, “missing” was wrong, because he’d never had a boyfriend, not one he’d considered a partner. A few boyfriends here and there, but Edmund had never met anyone—not like his friend Chance; he’d never met the one .

It would be easy for Edmund to blame his feelings on losing his mum and dad at such an early age, but Edmund suspected he was one of those “family men” who found their happiness with a small group of people important to them. If he weren’t gay, he probably would’ve been married to a nice woman for ages and had a few sprog running around. He loved kids. He loved them enough that, even if he did loathe team sports, he’d happily drive a beat-up minivan delivering children to Saturday games and watching while they played footy, or soccer as the Americans called it. He wondered if Owen liked children.

And somehow he’d gone from going to holiday dinner with Owen and his Aunt Pearl to imagining Saturday morning sporting events? With faceless children? Good god, he was worse off than he’d thought.

“Are you okay over there?” Owen’s voice surprised him, demonstrating just how lost in thought he’d been.

He turned from where he was standing and staring into the crackling flames to glance at Owen.

“Huh? Um, yeah. Fine, great.”

Owen cocked his head to the side, frowned, and then pulled the pot with the pasta water in it to one side of the stove top before moving gracefully around the island to approach Edmund.

“Was that okay, what we did? I didn’t mean to come on so strong.”

Edmund gaped, his mouth flapping open like he was trying to catch flies. “Okay? It was incredible.”

“I pushed you too far.”

“You didn’t!” Edmund protested. “Believe me, I wanted that.”

“Then why are you upset?”

Edmund had to look away from Owen’s knowing gaze. He glanced up at the ceiling for a moment, then back down again, drawn irresistibly back to Owen. His amber eyes were clear of guile, and his question lingered between them, waiting for Edmund’s answer. He took a deep breath; his face burned. This was worse than the time he was taking swim lessons and got stuck at the edge of the high dive. He’d stood up there for ten minutes, staring down at the blue water of the pool, trying to force himself to dive off, to jump, to do anything but stand there and listen to the catcalls of the other boys. “I’ve never?—”

Much worse than the highest diving board. This was like contemplating a dive off the Chrysler Building.

“I’ve never done this before.” He waved a hand around. “This, like all the way . What we did in the Jacuzzi and blowjobs are the farthest I’ve ever gone. I’m a virgin.”

There, he’d said the shameful words. Although a plaster taped to the thickest part of his pubic hair and ripped off without warning wouldn’t have been as painful.

The world was silent. Edmund imagined it was much like when a bomb went off and for a few seconds everything was quiet before the screaming started.

Owen smiled. Edmund loved it when he smiled. He had nearly imperceptible laugh lines at the corners of his eyes. Edmund wanted to make him smile all the time.

Without replying, Owen stepped even closer to Edmund, entirely invading his personal space; claiming it. Edmund didn’t mind. Owen could stay in his space all the time if that’s what he wanted. Keeping his gaze locked with Edmund’s, Owen lifted a hand and gently grasped Edmund’s chin between thumb and forefinger. He leaned even closer and placed his lips on Edmund’s.

As in the Jacuzzi, Owen’s lips were soft against his. He wasn’t demanding, he didn’t force his way inside Edmund’s mouth, but Edmund opened automatically, letting him in. Kissing Owen this time was even better than the first. They didn’t crack teeth, they simply melted together until they were pressed against each other, chest to toes. Edmund let himself wrap his arms around Owen while they licked and sucked and gently nibbled. He didn’t want it to end.

Owen broke off the kiss, chuckling when Edmund chased him with his lips, wanting more.

“I don’t care about your experience, I care about you . You probably don’t want to know this, but I have enough experience for the two of us—and it’s not something I’m proud of. We won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with. We don’t have to do anything else at all.”

That was not what Edmund had meant. He wanted all the things to happen now. But if Owen didn’t want him that way… You big numpty , his subconscious chimed in, of course Owen doesn’t want someone who’s sat on the shelf most of his life.

“You have a funny expression on your face. What are you thinking now?”

Edmund couldn’t think of a response, so he shrugged and stepped back, putting a little more distance between the two of them. The kiss followed by what seemed like rejection was a bit more than he could take.

“Edmund, look at me.”

Edmund looked. How could he not?

“I’d like to do everything with you, okay? I just want you to be comfortable. I want it to be right and perfect. I’ve never gotten to be anyone’s first before—if, uh, we get that far. So, if we do—and, as you know, there are not one but two perfectly good unused beds here—I want to make it something magical. I mean,” Owen floundered for a second before continuing, “We don’t even have to ‘go all the way’ for it to be magical. What happened outside was pretty freakin’ incredible. I’d do that again in a hot second. So, don’t go thinking I don’t want you.” Owen reached down and adjusted himself to make his point. “I pretty much have a semi around you at all times. It’s taking the whole no-boxers thing to a new level.”

“I do too.” The words burst out of Edmund. “I mean, want you.” Although he was also pretty sure Owen needed his eyes checked if he really wanted Edmund.

Owen grinned again before kissing Edmund on the cheek. “How about I cook dinner tonight, and you pick out what we’re going to do for the rest of the evening.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry after our hike in the snow.”

Hungry.

Edmund was hungry too, starving all of a sudden, but their hike through the snow to the store and back was not the cause. Owen moved back over to the kitchen area, dragged the pasta pot back on the burner, and began banging around in the cabinets. Edmund left him to it and wandered back over the bookshelf.