XOXO: A Bundle of Cozy Novellas

Chapter 8

EIGHT

Chapter Eight—Jude

The ladder creaked as Cullen climbed up to the loft. Jude had positioned himself on the double mattress as instructed, on hands and knees, ass in the air. The past few hours had gone from zero to sixty, it seemed, in mere seconds and didn’t seem be slowing down. Jude didn’t want what he and Cullen were doing to end yet. But if he stopped now he’d think himself out of something he desperately wanted.

Why he trusted Cullen, Jude couldn’t say, but he did.

“Holy shit,” Cullen whispered. Jude peeked under his arm to see the top of Cullen’s head and his eyes just over the edge of the loft floor. Jude arched his back and spread his knees wider, hoping to hurry him up.

Naked, Cullen scrambled off the ladder and over to the mattress. Jude had to take deep breaths to keep from losing it, regardless that he’d come less than a half hour earlier. Cullen was incredible, all the muscles in all the places. Broad chest, wide shoulders, a narrow blonde treasure trail that started at his sternum and led to his groin. Jude gulped air into his lungs as his eyes followed that trail. Cullen was very much in proportion, his half-hard cock swinging between his legs as he crawled into position behind Jude and tossed a bottle of what must be lube and a couple silver packets next to him.

Warm hands landed on Jude’s hips, caressing them, then moved to his ass, first stroking then massaging his cheeks.

“So beautiful.”

Jude didn’t feel beautiful and was certain he didn’t look beautiful, but he wasn’t going to correct Cullen now.

Strong fingers rubbed the top of his crease, a spot Jude had never known to be erogenous until tonight. Cullen’s touch was magic, waking up the ley lines of Jude’s body.

“Mmm. Look at you.”

Jude flexed his hole instinctively. Nerves maybe.

“Christ. Do that again,” Cullen demanded as one of his sneaky fingers began tracing along the sensitive skin there. Jude’s cock pulsed. He wanted to grind into the mattress, he wanted to touch himself, but he remembered what Cullen had said downstairs. Jude wanted that, too, he wanted to be literally fucked out of his mind.

Soon Cullen reached through Jude’s legs and stroked his erection, using just a fingertip. The touch was so light, it could almost be dismissed as not happening, but it was, and Jude’s cock throbbed in response. He needed attention back at his hole, he needed Cullen to never stop touching his cock, stroking it as if it was some sort of priceless treasure. He trembled with need.

Every time Jude thought he knew where Cullen’s tricky fingers were going to land next, he was wrong. His cock, his ankle, the bottom of his feet. The back of his neck, which was a sort of torture as Cullen’s erection notched itself in Jude’s crack for just a moment.

“Please, Cullen, please,” he begged. Every part of his body was sensitive, the parts Cullen hadn’t touched yet demanded attention and the areas he had were reluctant to let him go. Now Jude wanted Cullen’s mouth on his nipples. As if he could read Jude’s mind, Cullen snaked a hand around his chest and pinched one of them.

“Oh, fuck,” Jude burst out.

“A nipple man, are you?”

Cullen tweaked the other one, and Jude leaked precome onto the bedding, or maybe he was coming. He couldn’t tell, it was an endless loop of pleasure, almost too much, but he wasn’t ready for it to end.

Cullen sat back on his haunches; Jude wanted to keep his eyes open so he could look his fill, but it was impossible. Instead, he allowed himself to just feel. A big hand parted his ass cheeks again, the bottle lid snicked—Jude hadn’t noticed him picking it up—and cool gel slipped over and around his hole. Cullen must’ve put some on his fingers too, because when he slid one finger inside, it went easily. More precome dripped onto the mattress.

“Jude…”

“More,” he whispered, hoping Cullen would understand.

He did. A second finger joined the first, and Jude had to take a breath to relax himself.

“Are you okay?”

Jude nodded.

“More?”

In answer Jude pushed backward, impaling himself as far as he could onto Cullen’s fingers. He wanted more and his cock too.

Cullen withdrew his fingers but quickly returned with three, Jude felt his hole stretch around the thick digits. The fullness, the ache of it, continued to make him leak. His cock was sticking straight out from his body, and in the dim light of the loft it looked almost pornographic, heavy and needy between his legs.

Cullen turned his questing fingers, pushing them further inside, seeking, and— “oh, fuck, oh, shit, oh, god,” Jude babbled as Cullen scraped back and forth across his prostate.

“I can’t, oh my god, please, Cullen.” Orgasm was right there on the horizon, and Jude wanted it again.

“You want something else?” The fingers withdrew, leaving Jude empty for a moment. There was a crinkle and a rip and Cullen was back, sheathed up and tapping Jude’s entrance with his erection.

‘Is this it? Is this what you want? Gotta tell me, babe.”

“Yeah. You inside. I’m, I’m gonna come, I’m so close.” He shifted so he could reach his aching cock.

“Yeah, no. You’re not touching yourself.”

Jude moaned; Cullen pushed inside. For a moment he paused, somehow knowing Jude needed to embrace the pleasure-pain of that first ring of muscle protesting. Just when it was almost too much, he shoved all the way inside, filling Jude with his cock. Cullen was a big man, and Jude could feel every inch of him.

They stayed that way for a few seconds, Jude’s painfully hard cock pulsating along with his heartbeat. Then Cullen grabbed his hips and began to piston in and almost all the way out of Jude’s ass, grinding the head of his dick across Jude’s prostate again and again. What had been need and a promise loomed now like a volcano about to blow—not an if but a when. The sparks at the base of his spine and the back of his balls flamed hot. Not only was his cock painfully hard but his balls hurt, full of come.

Jude shoved his ass as far back onto Cullen’s shaft as he could, the final drag across his prostate sending him over the precipice. Coming was its own mix of pain and pleasure as his ass tightened around Cullen. Come spewed from him as he jackhammered himself backward, trying to get it all and more, more, more, until every drop of come was wrung from his body.

Cullen shouted something Jude couldn’t understand, he could only feel as the condom filled and Cullen collapsed over Jude’s back, his chest sweaty and heaving. He didn’t remember shutting his eyes again, but the next thing he felt was Cullen pulling away and murmuring something indecipherable through the buzzing in his ear. Then Cullen was back, wiping Jude down with a warm cloth and laying a towel on the wet spot before pulling blankets over them both.

Jude woke with Cullen’s arm wrapped around his waist and Cullen’s chest against his back. He couldn’t bring himself to panic about what they’d done just a few hours earlier. They’d both wanted it, and Cullen had satisfied Jude in a way no other lover ( reminder, Jude, you haven’t had lovers ) had ever come close to.

What time it was, Jude had no idea. The light in the cabin was diffused, but with all the snow it could be late morning or early afternoon. Turning his head slightly, he took in Cullen’s profile. Nothing about this man was delicate. If Jude had passed him on the street or seen his picture on a dating app Jude would’ve swiped left without hesitation.

Jock-type dudes were not his thing.

Until, suddenly, this one was.

His stomach chose that moment to complain, reminding him how much he’d neglected it the day before. Jude wasn’t the world’s greatest in the kitchen but there was no reason why he couldn’t cook something up for the two of them, and he had a feeling Cullen would not judge as long as it was edible.

Carefully, he rolled out from under Cullen’s arm without waking him and climbed down the ladder. He had to smile at the pile of clothing they’d left on the floor.

The power must’ve come back on again because the clock on the microwave was blinking and the dim light underneath the cabinet was glowing. Jude dug around in one of his bags to grab one of his new pairs of boxers and pulled them on, followed by his jeans, a Dragon Con shirt he’d had hidden away in a drawer for ages, and a pair of thick wool socks. His ass was comfortably achy, reminding him further about what he and Cullen had done—and he still didn’t feel an iota of regret.

Humming quietly, Jude found where they’d stashed the groceries the evening before and began to organize them. As chilly as it had been, he figured the milk, cheese, and eggs were still fine. The power had been out anyway, hadn’t it? The bagged salad he tossed in the fridge and the canned food he left in the bags.

If he was hungry, Cullen was hungry. He had enough food for at least a week, but as he’d been shopping only for himself, it was a boring selection, and frankly, he hardly ever cooked anymore as it was easier to have a chef come in once a week and make his meals. He stared at the canned soup, wheat bread, cheese, and potatoes (because they went with everything, right?) and wondered what Cullen might like.

Hoping the power wouldn’t go out again, Jude got to work, enjoying the unfamiliar feeling of doing something for someone else. Grating, chopping, putting water on to boil. It didn’t fit in the life he lived now, and he realized he missed it.

The cabin quickly filled with the mingled scents of onion and butter. On a whim, Jude picked a green apple from a bowl on the counter and cut it into slices. A memory from long ago floated back to him, one of someone, maybe his mother, making grilled cheese sandwiches with apple slices when he was very young.

He’d felt untethered for so long, so alone, that the memory brought tears to his eyes. He told himself they were the fault of the onions.

“Hey.”

Cullen’s deep voice startled him. How had he not noticed him climbing down the ladder?

“Morning, I think. Hungry?” Jude quickly averted his head slightly until he felt in control again.

“Starved,” Cullen answered, as he pulled on a pair of faded blue sweatpants and a white t-shirt that covered his golden skin but accentuated his sexy pecs.

“Grilled cheese with apple and caramelized onions.” Jude waved at the pan. “And potatoes are roasting in the oven.”

“Time for a shower?”

Jude nodded. He needed one, too, but it would have to wait.

While Cullen was in the shower, Jude wandered over to the bookshelf and found a Grateful Dead CD tucked away. Smiling, he slipped it into the player. When Cullen emerged still damp from his shower, the soft, unsettling song China Doll was playing.

Cullen stopped in the middle of toweling his hair dry and shot Jude a devilish grin.

“Busted. You found my stash.”

“You seem young to be a Deadhead.”

“Yeah.” Cullen’s cheeks reddened. “When I found out Jerry Garcia and I shared the same birthdate, I started really listening to the Dead and just kind of never stopped.”

The next few days followed a similar pattern as the first.

They talked about everything and nothing, Jude had the best sex of his life and, if he was being truthful, the best relationship he’d ever been a part of. Being with Cullen was so much more than what he experienced with the men he’d used for the occasional night of sex, or the one other ‘real’ relationship he’d been in. They were equals, they both gave and they both took, their strengths and weaknesses seemed to balance each other out.

Every night they fell asleep spent and exhausted, tangled together on the mattress in the loft. Jude would get up first and make brunch, while Cullen took over dinner. Cullen was a much better cook than Jude, creating what Jude considered culinary masterpieces from their quickly dwindling supply of pasta and fresh vegetables.

Cullen, with Jude’s help, had dug out the driveway so they could get Jude’s car out. Jude had ended up on his ass in the snow more than actually shoveling, but he had at least tried. They’d made a trip into the nearby town of Plain—really just a grocery and a feed store, but it had been fun, and the people all knew Cullen, greeting him with genuine enthusiasm.

Twice they hiked back up to the falls, once during the day and once again at night. Without the snow falling and the moon now at almost half, it wasn’t as bright as the first time, but it was just as beautiful.

He’d cracked open his laptop only once, taken one look at his manuscript, and ended up hitting delete. He did have a story to write but it wasn’t the one he’d begun all those years ago. Dragging the old words to the virtual trash was freeing, like he’d rid himself of a burden he hadn’t known he was carrying. When he started writing again, he would have fresh words to use.

This morning Jude was making pancakes—a little later than usual because Cullen had woken him with a blow job, something else to add to his yes-please-let’s-do-that-again list— when there was a knock on the door. Cullen was in the shower, and Jude was tempted to ignore whoever it was. Unfortunately, they kept hammering away.

“Asshole,” he muttered as he crossed over to see who it could be.

All Jude could see through the window was a bundled-up figure. Sighing, he opened the door and the real world barged inside without closing the door behind itself. It had to happen sometime. Still, he wished it could’ve held off for a little while longer.

“Who the hell are you?” The stranger demanded, whipping off a wool beanie and shaking his head while he stomped the snow off his boots onto the wood flooring. Seriously? What an ass.

The guy was around Jude’s height, with auburn hair and dark eyes. Jude took an immediate dislike to him.

“Who are you?” Jude shot back as he slammed the door shut behind the interloper.

Instead of answering, the outsider looked around the cabin. “Where’s Cullen?”

The small space was kind of a mess, their dirty clothes draped over Jude’s bags. Because he’d been in the middle of cooking, pans and dishes littered the counter. Before he’d disappeared into the shower, Cullen had popped in a CD from a band Jude hadn’t heard of, and a song called Meet Me in the City by the North Mississippi Allstars was currently playing. Up until that moment he’d been enjoying the day.

If the guy couldn’t figure out by looking that Cullen was either up in the loft or, bingo , in the bathroom, Jude wasn’t going to help him out.

“Why is that any of your business?”

“Everything about Cullen is my business. He just up and disappeared on me. But he always runs here to lick his wounds.”

Without asking, the man took off his coat and hung it on one of the hooks by the door. Jude disliked his familiarity, as if he had some stake here, as if Cullen were his .

The bathroom door opened, and Cullen stepped out. Thank fuck, a towel was wrapped around his waist. The stranger stiffened, and Jude had the uncomfortable feeling he was drinking in the sight, like he was starving for Cullen.

Cullen squinted at the asshole. “What the fuck, Dean? What are you doing here?”

Of course, the jerk was the now-married-to-a-woman-Dean. Their first night Cullen had told him about being his best man even though he was in love with him. For some reason it hadn’t gotten through Jude’s thick skull that…Cullen was probably still in love with him .

He knew he was acting irrationally but he had to get out of here. Now.