XOXO: A Bundle of Cozy Novellas

Chapter 10

TEN

Chapter Ten—Jude

Jude didn’t make poor choices often. He prided himself on measured decisions using all data available. Fleeing the cabin had been impetuous and stupid. And now he’d slid off the road into a ditch. Cullen was right—he had no idea how to drive in this stuff.

He was so mad at himself, and embarrassed, too, for overreacting the way he had. He knew he and Cullen Delacombe could be more than just placeholders for each other, more than just a fling. But for one hot and regrettable moment he’d panicked, and now here he was.

There was no one else on this damn road. Instead of taking a right at the end of the service road, Jude had swung left, thinking he would drive as far around the lake as he could to try and clear his head before heading back to the cabin and begging for Cullen to accept his apology.

He hadn’t been driving fast, but when a deer crossed the road ahead of his car, he’d thought about the one Cullen and his uncle had saved and rashly slammed on the brakes. His anti-lock brakes had, in fact, jammed, and he’d slid in slow motion across the road into an icy drainage ditch.

Way to go, Jude.

Even without getting out of the car, it was clear it was stuck, at least until he could get a tow truck to come pull it free. The hood was crumpled, having hit a hidden rock or something. Jude’s pride was a bit crumpled, too. When he’d mentally played back what he’d heard of Cullen’s conversation with his ex, Jude knew he’d overreacted. Hell, it’d been the stuff of drama-queen epicness.

Over the past week Cullen had demonstrated over and over again that he was kind, sensitive, and intelligent. He was grounded and a bit of a renaissance man, he knew a lot about a lot of random things. Things Jude hadn’t known before but would never forget.

When he touched Jude, when they made love, it was stupidly obvious Cullen wanted Jude and not Dean. Dean was part of Cullen’s past, not his present. And Jude Collins, who had an IQ of 165, was actually an idiot.

If he managed to get back to the cabin without getting lost, or developing hypothermia, he’d show Cullen with actions and tell him with words how much he appreciated Cullen letting Jude stumble into his life, and that he hoped that they were working toward a future together, no matter how improbable it began.

But first, he had to get back to the cabin. And talk to Cullen like an adult.

With a grunt, Jude shoved the driver’s side door open just enough so he could squeeze out, only to immediately step into knee-deep snow at the bottom of which was something wet and yucky. He hadn’t even put on the right shoes when he stormed out.

“Fucking fuck!” He yelled into the sky. No one heard him, of course, he was down some barren road, with only evergreen trees and deer for company. He didn’t think he’d driven far, but he’d been so preoccupied and angry, he hadn’t been paying attention—good job, Jude.

There may have been no one that Jude knew of watching him as he slipped and slid back the direction he’d come from, but his pride still took a blow. His ass was sore and as cold as his feet. A handsome Steller’s Jay fluttered from a shrub to land on the side of the road where it watched him with beady eyes, mocking his progress with raspy caws. Jude glared back and nearly slipped with his next step.

One step forward, two steps in all the other directions. If it weren’t for his impractical shoes, Jude would walk in the snow, at least that wasn’t icy, but he also didn’t know what was lurking beneath the surface, so he’d decided against it. And now the snow was starting to come down again. The sky had been clear moments ago, but now, as Jude looked up, he saw gray-yellow clouds gathered over his head.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

When the faint rumble of an engine reached his ears, Jude tried picking up his pace without falling again, he needed to flag the driver down—that he’d managed to drive as far as he had shocked him. Finally, though, he stopped walking, instead watching as an avocado green VW Van very slowly came around the corner. Jude nearly cried with relief.

It seemed as if the world paused while he waited for Cullen to pull the van up next to him. Even through the window, Jude could see the concern and worry on the younger man's face making him feel even worse.

Cullen rolled down his window. “Jude, are you okay? Where’s your car? Get in the van, it’s cold and,” he finally took in Jude’s dishevelment, “we need to get you warmed up.”

Opening the door and hopping out of the van, Cullen slung an arm across Jude’s shoulders and all but carried him to the passenger door helping him inside.

Jude leaned back with a sigh. “Thanks for coming to find me.”

“I would’ve come right away, but I had to get rid of Dean and then my uncle showed up.”

Cullen popped the van into gear and did a three point turn that Jude couldn’t execute on a dry road, and they slowly began their way back to the cabin.

“Sorry for being an idiot.” He slumped a bit against the seat, feeling kind of wobbly. “I don’t normally act like that.”

“Are you okay? Where’s your car?”

Jude gestured behind them. “It’s up the road a bit in a ditch, not going anywhere until I call a tow truck. I’m okay, just my pride is wounded and my ass bruised.”

“Hey now, that ass is important to me, be nice to it,” Cullen teased. Jude appreciated him keeping things light for now, even though he knew it was way past time for them to talk.

“I saw a deer and braked too hard.”

“Could happen to anyone.”

Jude rolled his eyes. “It could…really? A slow-motion, eight-mile-an-hour accident that appears to have totaled my car?”

Cullen grinned. “Well, when you put it like that.”

A late model black SUV pulled up beside them and Cullen rolled down his window calling out, “I found him Shay, he’s okay.”

The driver honked and drove off ahead of them—thankfully not turning at the road to the cabin.

At the cabin Cullen quickly parked and raced around to help Jude out of the car. He was stiff and cold.

“Let’s get these wet clothes off, you need to take a warm shower.”

“Isn’t there a better way to warm up?” Jude whined as Cullen opened the front door and ushered him inside.

“Yes, warming you up is definitely a two-part process. This is just part one.”

Jude turned, making sure he had eye contact. “I really am sorry for running out like that. It was foolish, impetuous, and reckless.”

Cullen’s lips curved upward. “Yes, it was and,” he waggled his eyebrows, “I may have to punish you for it.”

As far as Jude knew, he didn’t have a kinky bone in his body but the thought of Cullen holding him down and… well.

“I’ll just hop in the shower then,” he announced. As quickly as humanly possible, he toed off his ruined shoes, tossed his coat in the general direction of the wall hooks, and peeled off his wet jeans and boxers before padding across the main room. His shirt was last, falling in a heap on the bathroom floor.

The warm water felt incredible against his chilled skin, and if it weren’t for the promise of something more, he would have stayed under the spray until the hot water heater protested. But more was promised and he planned on cashing in. Quickly Jude dried off, debating whether to wrap the towel around his hips but ultimately deciding against it. With any luck at all he wouldn’t need it.

In front of the fireplace, Cullen was waiting for him. Naked. While Jude had been in the shower, Cullen had been busy stoking the fire and laying blankets down. Now he lounged on the pile invitingly.

“I turned on the hot tub for later,” he said with a mischievous wink, “but right now I just want to hold you in front of the fire.”

Jude complied, closing the small distance between them to lay down on his side on the blankets. Cullen tucked up behind Jude and pulled one of the comforters over them both. Their feet tangled together with Cullen’s semi-erect penis making itself known—it was very distracting.

“I know,” Cullen’s deep voice rumbled in Jude’s ear, as he wrapped his arms around Jude, “we’ve only known each other a short time and, as my uncle reminded me, I’ve not made great choices in the past—Dean being a prime example—but, I think we have a real connection. Fuck, I’ll be honest.” He tightened his grip on Jude. “I know it’s too early to be tossing words like love around, but it’s there anyway. I am falling in love with you. When Dean showed up and you took off, I hated it. The feelings may be new but what I feel for you is worlds more complicated and satisfying then what I felt for Dean.”

Jude opened his mouth to respond, but Cullen kept going. “I know I have some issues—abandonment shit that makes it so I glom onto people and am afraid to let them go, like Dean, but what we have doesn’t feel the same to me. What you and I have experienced in a week is way more than Dean and I ever had.”

“Are you going to let me get a word in edgewise here or is this The All Cullen All The Time Show?” Jude griped.

“Fuck off,” Cullen whispered, his breath tickling the back of Jude’s neck.

“First of all, at least you’ve been in relationships before. I’ve avoided them like the plague. The one time I thought I’d met someone…. Well, let’s just say I was wrong, and it made me think it wasn’t worth the effort. The reason I left today?—”

“Ran off,” Cullen interrupted.

“Fine, whatever. The reason I ‘ran off’ is because it hit me all at once when I saw Dean. All the feelings, all the what-ifs, all the things I hadn’t acknowledged I’d been hoping for appeared and disappeared in one moment.”

“Wha—?”

As Cullen started to release his hold, Jude grabbed his hand and kept it in place over his rapidly beating heart.

“As soon as I was driving away, I knew how ridiculous I was being. Hell, I probably realized it as I was starting the engine, but by then I was embarrassed and drove off anyway. What I’m trying to say, and probably not very well, is I think I’m on the same page. I know it’s too soon, but I guess the full-on Cullen Delacombe experience is just what I needed. What I want to have more of. Uh, if you do too, of course.”

This time when Cullen tugged his hand away, Jude released it, his head spinning a bit from the words he’d forced out. Cullen rolled him onto his back and slung a leg over him to keep him in place. In this position they were nose to nose, eye to eye.

“I do,” Cullen said, staring into his eyes.

When, eons later, he eased down to take Jude’s lips in a fierce demanding kiss, Jude let himself be claimed, be taken, be chosen . He didn’t know if what they had was permanent, if they would survive in the real world, but he was damn well going to try.