Yours, For Good (Cozy Latine Billionaires #4)

13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Date : November 23 To : Mr. Smith From : Eleanora Subject : Some families are awesome

Dear Mr. Beanpole,

I can finally breathe! After the Halloween party, I've been in the middle of the first big program sprint. All I've known for the past few weeks is rushing to get my work done to my standards. Besides noticing a few weird looks from Julia (long story short, I think she blames me somehow for the fact her uncle and I monopolized each other at her party)(don't ask), my social life has been at a standstill… until now.

I finished my reports a bit ahead of time (attached, comments welcome) so I would have the Thanksgiving long weekend free. You'll never guess where I am!

Sally invited me to spend the holiday with her family. They have a huge cabin in the Adirondacks where they go for every occasion. Sally had asked me about my holiday plans and said that not going anywhere was too sad and I should come stay with her. She's a really good friend like that.

It's been an amazing time, Mr. B. Her family is WONDERFUL. Her parents are the stereotypical kind, warm people against whom you compare all caregivers. She has a young sister with hair even curlier than Sally's, and a mid-size brother that is always making a mess (how he manages to find mud every time he goes out, I can't fathom). She also has a big-size brother who's finishing his PhD at Princeton. He plays basketball and is good looking and just a couple of years older than us, which offers a nice change of air to our conversations.

Last night they organized a party with the neighboring cabins (we're in an area with many such homes around a lake) and kept teasing that I was their guest of honor. They put on music and Jim (that's Sally's brother) invited me to "open the dance floor" with him, which was a bunch of bologna because said "dance floor" was a corner of the deck overlooking the lake— but I humored him and had tons of fun. He's a silly dancer, that Jim, but I really love dancing, so it was great.

As I write this email to you, the sun shines on trees and hills and I wonder who I'd be if I had a life like Sally's, with a family like hers. I hope you know I continue to be grateful for what you're doing for me. But after a weekend like this, I wonder if I'd just be a Normal Person, who has Normal Experiences, who doesn't get tongue-tied when talking about anything that's Too Personal, like friends and family and romantic partners.

I'll end my email here, Mr. B. They're calling me for early dinner! Afterwards, Sally, Jim, and I are going for a long walk and, tomorrow, Sally and I will return to San Francisco.

I don't know what you do for Thanksgiving, but I hope you're having a great weekend regardless.

Nora

Javier

I got out of the community pool I preferred with a frustrated huff. Water dripped down my body to the tiles, and continued to do so as I rushed into the shower to get the chlorine off my skin.

Maybe it was wrong to gauge the strength of what Nora and I had begun by comparing it to my strongest friendships, but whatever built between us felt different than what I had with Max and the guys. It scratched against my understanding of dancing with her on Halloween, but why hadn't she mentioned anything about Javier— that is, about me, and had chosen to talk about Sally's brother Jim?

Naked and irked, I clenched my jaw. Jim . Not that I was jealous. Of course not. It was great that she was making other friends. If she wanted to dance with other people, well… good for her. If I wanted to dance, too, I could find another partner myself. They might not glance at my lips and distract me in the process; they wouldn't look like they would let me kiss them. Or they might, but I wouldn't be tempted .

Soap lathered fast as I rubbed thoroughly; purposefully. I massaged shampoo into my scalp with severe fingers.

Fuck. I shouldn't have been tempted. I wasn't someone who felt those things easily. Her emails were getting to my head; her energy and magnetism had hooked themselves in my breastbone and pulled. No matter how much water fell over my shoulders, and how much I willed this physiological response to Nora to go down with it into the drain, it stubbornly remained.

It didn't help that we'd both forgotten her bandana was in my pocket when we said goodbye. I went home with it and ended up placing it in the same drawer where I kept my journal. Whatever possessed me to do so was a mystery— hell, a fucking poltergeist playing tricks on me. Because her smell had taken hold of my whole damn desk and, for a few days, I had been surrounded by her at night.

No wonder I had gotten confused and a couple of intrusive thoughts had me imagining her in my bed.

By the time I'd dried up from my shower and had started getting dressed, the answer was clear.

Denial. I would deny myself the feelings, or acting on them. If necessary, I'd deny having them at all, even from myself. There was no way to pursue these unfortunate emotions, when she didn't know the whole truth.

My plan had to remain the same. I'd monitor her emails to see if she was making other friends that did what I had wanted to do originally. People who could be there for her in ways I never could.