Yours, For Good (Cozy Latine Billionaires #4)

26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Javier

The walls in the boardroom I occupied with Griggs and other people from my team seemed to be collapsing on me. A lot of my work could be done from home; reading emails and reports and making decisions about them didn't often require my presence. Still, I tried to come to the flex working space every once in a while; it helped make me real to my team, and give us all a stronger sense of purpose. It made me feel a little less of a hermit, too.

On that day, I could barely pay attention to the people around me, and they had noticed.

"Everything okay, Javier?" Griggs frowned my way. "You look… pale."

A spark of humor burst behind my clavicles. Earlier in the year I had been pale in a boardroom meeting after reading one of Nora's emails, too.

"Do you need a break?" Alicia, someone else on my team, asked. "Do you need something to drink, perhaps?"

I stood, my hands flat on the table. The chair I had been in rolled back until it hit the wall behind me. "I need a break, yes. Anyone want water or coffee? I'll make some for everyone."

I left with their requests listed in a corner of my mind. The kitchenette was only a few rooms away, and it was easy to busy myself with drinks for everyone. Focusing on the meeting had been impossible. Coffee might bring some color back to my skin, and offer the ghost of concentration on the work I was supposed to help the team with.

I could afford a few seconds to panic while the dark, hot liquid brewed. I'd been accepting Nora's payments despite every reservation, because it's what she wanted. My team had also been notified of my plan to restructure my scholarship programs, like she had asked. There would be more of them, just as I continued to work on changing the John Grier Home Charity itself.

How I wish I could tell Nora about it all. Not because I wanted her to gaze at me with approval in her eyes— okay, yes, I wouldn't mind that, if I was being honest— but because it meant I was able to share my thoughts freely with her.

I missed her, too.

And she was letting Mr. B. go.

In many ways, it should be something to celebrate. Between that and the repayments, she was freeing me, too. The power dynamic between us dissolved into the ether of the past, because she didn't need me anymore, and she didn't owe anything we could measure and touch.

Did it mean that she might forgive me if she learned what I'd done? Likely not, but I ached for any hope I could cling to. It had been almost two months since I last heard from her as Javier; I knew she was busy and unsure, but waiting killed me. Sure, it made sense that someone who had been alone for so long found loneliness comforting. That they went back to it in search of comfort, when things got hard. But how I wish I could be there, keeping quiet company until she was ready for more.

Could letting go of me as Javier be easier than letting go of Mr. B.? The thought brought a panicked tremor to my limbs. It was a miracle I didn't spill coffee as I poured it into the mugs.

They said distance made things clearer. For me, being far apart only seemed to make emotions stronger. Distance made me feel like I was drowning in a glass overflowing with my mistakes.

I told her I would wait, and I would. But if she decided to let me go, I'd have to let her go.

With coffee in front of us in the boardroom, I attempted to work, but I could have drowned in my mug, too.

Date : May 8 To : Mr. Smith From : Eleanora Subject : thread count

Dear Mr. Beanpole,

All documents are signed. Your protégé is the proud owner of a fantastic and ethical educational business.

With coaching done, my involvement with the incubator is finalized, too.

Only a few threads connect us now. Considering that you're taking my payments, that is one that will snap soon. According to my calculations, the final payment will happen on the 10th, and then you and I will be equals again.

It's with that in mind, that I would like to inform you I've found a place to stay. I negotiated room and board with Mrs. Semple, and I'll go to Lock Willow for a bit until I decide from where to run my future educational empire.

Everything is going smoothly so far. Well, as far as my business and you and I go. I'm still deciding how to approach Javier again.

For now, I expect the old Connecticut home will bring me many memories of my friend, and maybe inspiration will strike. Ever since deciding that I have to let you be a part of the past and not take you with me to my future (except in my memories and heart), I feel more prepared to reach out to him and talk things through. I have not stopped thinking of him or what happened. It's been long enough, and I can't keep hoping I'll magically know the answers, or that I'll have enough time— I'll have to carve it out of my schedule and be purposeful. I just need to figure out how to do it and what I need from him— and what I can offer— to make things better between us.

Lock Willow will also remind me of you. That's when I plan to send you my final regular letter.

I think it's a good thing I write electronically. Otherwise, I would have to explain that the wet splotches on the ink were my tears because I hate goodbyes.

I hope you understand.

Sincerely,

Nora