Yours, For Good (Cozy Latine Billionaires #4)

32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Nora

I put my phone in my pocket with trembling fingers. Javier's latest email had screenshots attached as well, this time with passages talking about love. Some of them talked about touching the person you wanted, and feeling like you were in a world beyond comprehension, outside of time and space.

He had written a note on it. Maybe it is possible to reach the edges of reality. The film noir hero may not be trapped in dissatisfaction, if he gets to explore new horizons with the right person.

Death by swoon was a big risk at the moment, but I tamed it down. I got ice cream from The Scoop and walked to the same spot where Javier had hugged me for the first time. It seemed fitting; it was the spot where we'd made our pinky promise.

The way things stood, I didn't know if Javier would be part of the life I was building for myself. He might be a simple memory by the time I turned thirty.

Now, two weeks after being at his place in Manhattan, I recounted the things that were mine. I had the friendship I was still building with Sally, and the smiling comfort of her family when they jumped into my calls with her to ask me when I would visit them again. My business was mine, too; despite the hurt it caused, the fact Mr. B. and Javier had remained so removed from the process meant I knew it was all me. My investors were not in the Pendletons' circles, from what I could find online and coyly ask Sally about. All decisions had been mine, especially now that my mentors had done all they could do.

After my upcoming trip to New York, my life was all mine. I would sign the very final documents to establish my organization and start the structuring part of it. If I felt generous and brave, I would attend the John Grier Home fundraiser that Mrs. Lippett had invited me to— it could be a time to assess if I could be on the board myself and change things from within. Once I returned to Lock Willow, I'd have a month to research and decide on the final location for my first office, and find a place to live.

Could I forgive Javier for what he had done, and find out if he fit in my life?

I licked the chocolatey, black peppery goodness in front of me. A frown pulled on my brow as I gazed at the horizon, because I only knew part of the answer.

In the middle of a hot summer day at the beach, people sunbathed and kids built castles in the sand. Some people swam or went off shore in their kayaks; a few sailboats broke the waves, and all I could hear inside was I want Javier to fit in my life.

I started my walk back to my temporary home. After all the reading and writing I had done, I reached a few good conclusions. Yes, I still cared for Javier. Yes, relationships could be repaired. None of that meant I knew if it was worth putting all that effort, when chances were I'd have to grieve for him at some point or another anyway.

Love was still a loan. You may never get repaid for what you put into it. There were no guarantees that giving him a chance would lead to a long, happy relationship. Research suggested that seventy percent of relationships failed within the first year. What were the odds when the attempt started after duplicity? Giving him all that patience and hope, to maybe trust him again; investing so much to potentially end in the same place… it didn't make sense.

Why would anyone put themselves in the path of horrible pain?

But grief showed up anyway, because it meant I'd lost Javier. Anger swooped back in its coattails, because he'd hurt me.

I sighed. Maybe something like that led my mom to leave everything behind. At some point she faced the same questions, and decided to be alone… but that was a guess. I didn't have her, and I couldn't ask.

I came into the house through the kitchen door. Mrs. Semple cooked dinner, and she smiled in my direction.

"How was your walk?" she asked.

"Hot. I may need a shower."

"You should have taken your bathing suit and gotten in the sea."

"Oh, I'm not comfortable in the water."

"Maybe you could invite Javier again. He swims like a fish, he could teach you."

I laughed louder than the situation called for but didn't explain. "I'll be in my room working. Call me for dinner, please?"

Sitting at my desk with my laptop open in front of me, I let my eyes get lost on the slice of ocean visible through my window. Perhaps my anger was the solution. I could let my indignation open the door, and see where the conversation took us. If I let him see my emotions and we talked through them, I might see the next step. And the next.

It was time for a reckoning.

Nora : We need to talk.

Javier : Please tell me when.