Yours Suddenly

Chapter 12

Alexandra

The medication they gave me is sedative, so I barely have any energy to protest or to unlink his hand from mine.

A part of me hates myself for loving how tenderly and protectively he's holding me. Like I'm glass and someone wants to shatter me with a hammer. Only problem is he's the one who's wielding the hammer and has already smashed me.

Is this what it's going to be like? Him suddenly pretending to care and then after a month or so he gets bored and goes back to treating me like crap?

Probably.

I look out the airplane window as we soar through the night.

Strangely I don't really feel sorry for the horse ranch owner. Everyone on the ranch hated him and I'm likely to have a mark on my neck forever.

Something savage and satisfied blooms in my chest, worrying me a little. The fact that he was willing to avenge me like that is a little scary but also… hot. It makes my heart ache and warm at the same time.

“You’re going to drink this,” he says to me when a flight attendant hands him a bowl of warm broth.

My mouth watering from hunger, I move to take the bowl from him, but he shakes his head.

“I'll feed it to you.”

“I can feed myself,” I snap. “I’m not a child.”

“Didn't say you were. Now open up,” he says, dipping the spoon into the hot, aromatic liquid and blowing the heat away.

Reluctantly I open my mouth.

A man of my caliber has been ringing nonstop in my head for days yet I’m allowing this man to feed me. Just tells you what a grip he has on me.

I have to work on loosening it otherwise I’ll suffocate.

When the broth is finished he tucks me in closer to his chest and resumes pressing his lips to my forehead, breathing in my scent. Inexplicably, I cuddle closer to him and when we land in New York, I'm glad he has no intention of making me walk at all. It’s the least he can do after being the cause of all this mess.

In the Arrivals hall, we find Mama and Adrianne.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Mama cries.

I'm surprised she's not pissed off, only relieved. Adrianne, too.

“We were so worried,” she sighs.

“I just needed a little vacation, that's all,” I say, a little embarrassed.

Adrianne and Mama are throwing Roman looks of disapproval.

“Completely understandable. Sometimes you gotta step back.” If Mama could slap Roman right now for me, that would make my day. “Anyway,” she continues, tearing her glare away from her son, who is watching the whole thing with the most bored, unconcerned expression known to man as I’m hoisted in his arms. “We need to get you home, and — what's this?”

She eyes the side of my neck. I want to lie and say it was an accident, but Roman finally speaks as we exit the hallway and head to airport parking.

“Somebody dared to mess with her, and I took care of it.”

“You mean you fixed the problem that you created?” Adrianne says.

“Yes,” he says bluntly.

I want to say he hasn't fixed anything . Just because I'm back doesn't mean everything is going back to normal.

***

When we get home, a relief washes over me.

I won’t lie, it's good to be back.

The sight of the black sports cars in the driveway, the massive looming form of our mansion, the smell of the orange grove being carried to us by an eastward breeze, the barking of the puppies, and the shouts of the kids.

Roman carries me up to our bathroom and runs water in the freestanding tub. He pours oils and foam in it and then, placing me on the marble sink, proceeds to gently strip me. There's nothing sexual about his gaze, only that slightly frowning check that he does as he looks at every part of my body, inspecting it as if trying to look for any other sign of damage.

“You’ve lost weight,” he murmurs.

“You killed him,” I say.

He looks at me. Something creeps in his eyes. “And do you think I'm a monster for that?”

He looks like he desperately wants to know the answer. Despite his languid demeanor, his eyes tell me everything.

I want to say no, I don't. That taking out monsters doesn't make you monstrous.

But I don't. I look away from him.

After a tense pause, he lifts me, butt-naked, and places me gently in the water as a sigh escapes me. He sits on the edge of the tub, watching me as I lean back, submerging my aching body in the warmth.

“I'm sorry,” he says. “For all this. For hurting you. It's my fucking fault.”

He leans down slightly and fishes my hand out of the warm water and holds it tightly. “I love you and only you.”

He says it with such earnestness that it looks so real. He's a businessman, so he knows how to swindle and cheat and lie. He stole my heart in this same exact manner.

I stare into his long-lashed, dark eyes. “Are you going to keep seeing other women?”

Not another woman. Other women .

The bathroom is deadly silent.

“Are you going to see them again?” I say. My heart breaks and breaks when he doesn’t answer right away.

“I won't,” he says.

But it's too late. He should have said it in record time. That beat of hesitation told me what I didn’t want to be told.

He's just going to make sure he doesn't get caught. What was happening before is going to continue. The loneliness, the barely seeing each other.

And I guess I just have to live with that.

I unlink our hands and turn away from him so he doesn't see the tears streaming down my face.

I feel his rough finger lightly touch the bruise on the back of my neck before he walks out of the bathroom.