Zane (Halversons #8)

CHAPTER THREE

Kelsey shot to her feet, pulling the earbud out of her ear. “That’s me.”

A young woman in scrubs approached her, then guided her to a small room down the hall a short distance from the waiting room. She introduced herself as a resident and said the surgeon had sent her out with an update after the nurse had passed on her request for one.

Kelsey didn’t know if that was the norm for this doctor or not. But if it wasn’t, she appreciated they’d made the exception for her.

“How is Zane?” she asked, clutching her purse to her chest.

“He was critical when they brought him in,” the resident said. “He’d lost a lot of blood, so we had to replace that. The scan we did revealed swelling on the brain and internal bleeding. He also has some cracked ribs, and his left tibia is broken.”

“But he’s going to be okay?” Even as she asked the question, Kelsey knew they wouldn’t give her that reassurance.

“We’re continuing to monitor him,” the woman said, her expression sympathetic. “He’s having to deal with a lot physically, and there’s a possibility he’ll have to be sedated for a while to allow the swelling in his brain to lessen. Keeping him immobile for a bit will help with the healing of his other injuries as well.”

“He’s still in surgery?”

“Yes, but they should be finished with him in the next hour or so, then he’ll go to the ICU, which is on this floor.”

“And I can see him then?”

The woman nodded. “Once he’s settled in his room.”

“How long might that be?”

The woman gave her an understanding smile. “I know you’re eager to see him, but it’s important that we take our time to make sure he has the best chance of a full recovery.”

Kelsey’s shoulders slumped. She knew that, but it was like all her training and common sense had disappeared beneath the weight of her desire to see for herself that Zane was still alive. “Thank you for the update.”

“You’re welcome.” The woman reached out and touched her arm, her brown gaze gentle. “He’s in the best of hands here.”

Kelsey appreciated her assurance that Zane was in good hands, but it did little to settle the mess of nerves in her stomach.

Once she was back in her seat in the waiting room, Kelsey opened up her messaging app and typed out a message to Lee, giving him the information that the doctor had shared with her.

She hoped that the medical professionals in Zane’s family would make better use of their own knowledge and expertise than she was of hers. It was like all her training had gone out the window the moment someone she loved became a patient. Somehow, she didn’t know how to be a wife and a nurse when the patient was her husband.

Lee: Thank you for the update. We continue to pray for Zane, and for the doctors as they work on Zane and for you as you wait to see him.

Kelsey appreciated Lee’s words, and she hoped that meant that they weren’t still upset by her presence in Zane’s life. Perhaps this would be the thing that drew them together. Zane would need all the support he could get. He’d need all the people who loved him to be there as he worked to recover from his accident.

It was almost two tortuous hours before they came to get her. Just inside the door of the ICU area, a doctor waited to speak with her.

After introducing himself, he reiterated much of what the resident had shared with her. He also confirmed that, for the time being, Zane was sedated.

Once he’d finished giving her the update, he led her to the room where Zane had been taken and left her there with a nurse. Kelsey hesitated outside the open doorway, suddenly feeling again like she couldn’t catch her breath.

“Just breathe.” As the woman spoke, a hand landed gently on her back.

Clearly realizing what was going on, the woman guided her through some breathing exercises. Once again, that kept the panic attack at bay, but Kelsey didn’t know how long that would be the case.

“Feeling better?” the nurse asked once Kelsey looked up and met her gaze.

Kelsey nodded. “Thank you for helping me.”

The nurse’s smile was warm. “I understand that this is a highly stressful situation for you. It’s understandable that you’d be dealing with some anxiety.” She tipped her head toward the open door. “Let’s go see your husband.”

Knowing she had a sympathetic person at her side made it a little easier for Kelsey to walk through the door.

Though the room’s lights weren’t bright, she could still clearly see Zane on the bed. There were tubes and wires running to and from his body, but Kelsey’s relief at finally seeing him nearly brought her to her knees.

“We’ll just have you wash your hands, then you can get closer to him.” The nurse showed her where the sink was and waited as Kelsey carefully washed her hands, soaping them up twice before drying them on the paper towel the nurse handed her.

“Why don’t you come to this side of him?” the nurse said when she was done, laying a hand on Kelsey’s back to guide her.

When she got her first clear look at Zane’s battered and swollen face, Kelsey began to cry. The nurse pulled a chair over next to the bed and helped her sit down.

“Here. Hold his hand.” With the nurse’s guidance, Kelsey wrapped her fingers around his. As she did so, she realized his ring was missing.

“What happened to his ring?”

“I believe it’s with his other items. I’ll get them for you.”

“Thank you.”

Before leaving them alone, the nurse took a few minutes to explain what was causing all the beeps and what the various tubes and wires were for. If she’d put her mind to it, Kelsey could have figured it all out for herself, but she was relieved she didn’t have to.

In that moment, she was glad that precious few people knew that she had training as a nurse. She didn’t want to be a medical professional right then. She just wanted to be a wife.

After sitting there for a few minutes, whispering softly to Zane, Kelsey took a picture and video of him. It wasn’t that she wanted to preserve this memory, but she thought that his family might want to see him. Especially the ones who weren’t on their way there. Lee could use his judgement in passing on the pictures and videos she took.

Lee had texted her when they were preparing to board the private jet, letting her know approximately when they’d be arriving in Tampa and when they hoped to be at the hospital.

Once she’d sent the heartbreaking images to Lee, along with the little bit of extra info the doctor had given her, she took Zane’s hand again and began to talk to him. She reminded him of their plans, of all the life they had left to live together, then pleaded with him to fight.

The nurse came in periodically to check on Zane, bringing a water bottle with her for Kelsey after she’d been there for over an hour.

Kelsey hadn’t been sure that they’d let her stay, but so far, there’d been no mention of her having to leave. It was possible that once the others were there, she’d have to go to make space for them, even though she didn’t want to ever leave Zane’s side.

In the end, Kelsey was forced to leave Zane’s bedside a few times to use the bathroom and to get some coffee. Though she didn’t really feel much like eating, she did pick up a packaged sandwich in the cafeteria.

She knew it was important to keep her strength up. Zane didn’t need her to be physically or mentally weak. And she knew from experience that the surest way to weaken herself further mentally was to not take care of herself physically.

What she needed most, though, was sleep. She was almost twenty-four hours without sleep, and she was struggling to stay awake.

Finally, Kelsey laid her head down on her arm next to Zane’s, keeping their hands clasped. Though the room was far from quiet, her body demanded the rest it needed.

She didn’t know how long she’d been sleeping when a touch on her back woke her. Blinking, she sat up, feeling like she’d just closed her eyes.

“Hello, Kelsey. How are you doing?”

Kelsey stared at the couple standing next to her, then got to her feet, keeping hold of Zane’s hand. “I’m fine.”

“That was rather a dumb question, wasn’t it?” Zane’s mom gave her a small smile. “I’m sure you’re not doing too great, and you’re probably exhausted.”

“I’m okay.” Kelsey didn’t want them to have any reason to doubt her ability to be there for Zane when he needed her. “Did you have a chance to speak with anyone about Zane?”

“We did,” Dan Halverson said. “The doctor happened to be at the nurse’s station when we arrived. It seems they’re doing all they can for him right now.”

“Though I understand why he’s sedated, I wish they hadn’t had to do it,” Cathy said, her gaze going to her son. “It’s hard to see him like this.”

“I can go to the waiting room so that you can spend some time with Zane,” Kelsey said.

“Thank you,” Dan said. “We’d appreciate that. Could you tell Lee to come in?”

Kelsey nodded, then turned to lean over Zane, pressing a gentle kiss to his swollen cheek. Keeping her voice low and soft, she whispered, “I love you. I’ll be back.”

Blinking back tears, Kelsey left Zane with his parents. She didn’t want to leave him, but they needed to be with their son. She knew that.

In the waiting room, she found not only Lee, but his wife, Rori.

“How are you doing, Kelsey?” Rori asked as she got up and approached her.

Kelsey was surprised when the woman wrapped her arms around her and gave her a tight squeeze. She froze for a moment, then returned the hug. Rori was the first person, aside from Zane, who had hugged her in ages.

Even when the hug ended, Rori kept hold of her hands, concern in her gaze.

“I think I’m doing as well as can be expected,” Kelsey said. “Tired. Worried.”

For some reason, Rori’s obvious concern for her made it easier for Kelsey to be more honest. Lee approached them then, his expression also concerned.

“Your mom and dad said you should go be with them,” Kelsey said.

Lee nodded as he glanced at his wife. “Okay. I won’t stay there too long so you can go back to him.”

It seemed that perhaps Lee and Rori were more willing to accept her relationship to Zane, even if his parents were reluctant to.

Once Lee had left, Kelsey sank down on a chair, tucking her hands under her thighs as she stared at the floor. She was so tired, but she couldn’t leave. All she wanted was to be with Zane.

She felt movement beside her, then a hand slipped through her arm. “Can I pray for you?”

Kelsey glanced at Rori, then nodded. Surely it couldn’t hurt.

“Heavenly Father, we are so thankful that You spared Zane’s life in the accident he had. We ask that You would place Your healing hand upon Zane’s body so that he’ll recover quickly from his injuries. I pray for Kelsey as she deals with someone she loves being injured in this way. Please give her strength and wisdom in the days to come. In all of this, we pray that You are glorified. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

Kelsey couldn’t recall anyone ever praying for her. For all that Zane’s family seemed to take their faith seriously, Zane never had in the time she’d known him. Would this brush with death change that?

“Thank you,” Kelsey said as Rori straightened.

“You’re welcome.”

“I didn’t know that you were coming too,” Kelsey said. “But I’m glad you did.”

Rori gave her a smile that lit up her eyes. “Lee thought maybe it would be good for me to be here. For him, and for you.”

Kelsey had always assumed that Lee was the sibling that Zane was closest to, and it appeared that assumption was correct. She and Rori hadn’t had much chance to get to know each other, but apparently that didn’t matter to the other woman.

Suddenly, she didn’t feel quite so alone.

“Do all Zane’s siblings know what’s happened?”

Rori frowned. “Lee sent messages to everyone, but not all of them have responded. His youngest brother and sister are notorious for not getting back to people in a timely manner.”

“Why’s that?”

“I guess they’re just too busy. Skylar hasn’t been home in ages. I’ve only met her once, actually. Cole is playing professional basketball, but even though it’s the off-season, he hasn’t come home.”

“Are any of the others coming?”

“I don’t think they’ve decided. They’re waiting to hear what Mom and Dad have to say.”

Kelsey found it interesting that Rori referred to the Halverson parents as Mom and Dad. She wasn’t sure she could, but beyond that, she wasn’t sure they would want her to.

“I think perhaps Gareth will come, and maybe Wilder or Jay. I’m sure they’d all like to come, but it’s just more difficult for most of them because of kids and jobs.”

Though Zane hadn’t talked a lot about his siblings, she knew he cared about them. Maybe he assumed she wouldn’t want to know about them.

She’d only met them once, when she’d gone home with Zane the previous Christmas, and they’d seemed friendly enough. But perhaps they thought she was okay as his girlfriend, but they weren’t on board with her as his wife.

What had it been about her that they objected to?

She hadn’t told them anything about her family, so it couldn’t be that. Over the years, she’d worked hard to smooth out any rough edges she had because of how she’d been raised, realizing that they might prevent her from getting what she wanted in her life.

But maybe it hadn’t been enough. Maybe Zane’s family—which was full of successful professionals—had still been able to sense what she’d tried to rid herself of. Although Rori didn’t seem to hold anything against Kelsey.

Kelsey was glad for the distraction the woman offered her as they waited for Lee to return. She doubted that Mr. and Mrs. Halverson would leave Zane’s side any time soon.

Sure enough, when Lee returned a short time later, he was alone. His expression revealed just how upset he was, and Rori got up and hurried over to him, wrapping her arms around him. The pair stood there for a moment, wrapped up in each other in a way that made Kelsey’s heart ache.

It had been barely a day that she’d been without his hugs and kisses, but already she missed that with Zane. Hopefully, he’d wake up soon, so that even if he wasn’t in a position to hug her, they could share their love through words and kisses.

Ending their embrace, Lee took Rori’s hand and headed over to where Kelsey sat. He sank down heavily into the chair beside her and let out a long sigh.

“That was rough,” he said.

Kelsey couldn’t help but agree. All of it had been very rough. But as long as it meant Zane was still alive, she would take all the roughness in the world.

“Mom and Dad said that Rori and I should take you home to your apartment so that you can get some rest.”

Kelsey pulled back like she’d been slapped. They wanted her to leave Zane’s side? It was bad enough she’d had to come to the waiting room, and now they wanted her to leave the hospital?

“No. I need to be here.”

Lee’s expression firmed. “What you need is to take care of yourself. It’s what Zane would want. For now, he’s sedated, so he’s not aware of whether you’re here or not. Now is the best time for you to make sure you’re getting adequate rest. Let us take you home so you can sleep in your own bed, then you can come back in the morning.”

What he said made sense, but Kelsey really struggled with feeling like she wouldn’t be a good wife if she left the hospital. And there was a small kernel of fear that if she left, the family might make decisions for Zane’s care that didn’t include her.

“It really is what Zane would want,” Lee said again.

Kelsey stared at her hands. “How do you know?”

“Because it would be what I’d want for Rori. Zane will need you more when he wakes up, so now is the time for you to rest. Take care of yourself so you’re able to take care of him.”

“Okay. But I want to see him again before we go.”

“Of course.”

When Kelsey returned to Zane’s room, his parents said they’d leave her with him for a bit. Relieved to finally be back with Zane, Kelsey sat down in the chair and took his hand.

“I’m going to go home for a bit,” she said. “They’re telling me that’s what you would want. I hope they’re right because I really don’t want to leave you, but I’m so tired.”

She sat in silence for a moment, feeling emotion rise within her. This would be the first time she slept in their bed without him since their marriage.

“I need you to get better. I need you so much, Zane. You got me used to being an us. I don’t want to go back to being just me. I love you. Fight. Please fight.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks as she lifted his hand to press her cheek to it. Her anxiety was pulsing again at the thought of leaving him. What if something happened while she was gone?

Finally, when she felt herself falling asleep again, Kelsey got to her feet and leaned over to press a kiss to Zane’s lips. She rested her forehead against his for a moment, then straightened.

“Goodnight, love. I’ll be back in the morning.”

The hardest thing in the world was to walk away from Zane and leave his room. Anxiety swelled inside her, but Kelsey breathed steadily, forcing herself to put one foot in front of the other. The sooner she left, the sooner she could come back.

In the waiting room, she found Lee huddled in conversation with his parents. Rori spotted her first and smiled.

“Ready to go?” Lee asked as he got to his feet.

“Not really,” Kelsey said. “But I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready, so I might as well go now.”

“We’ll call if anything develops,” Mrs. Halverson said.

“Thank you.”

Kelsey wasn’t sure what would happen if a major decision needed to be made for Zane while he was still unconscious. Would they let her have any input?

“We’ve booked a nearby hotel, so we’ll go there to check in once we’ve dropped Kelsey off, then we’ll come back to get you guys,” Lee said, then the three of them headed out of the hospital.

The ache in her heart grew the further away they got, but Kelsey managed to hold her composure. Total privacy was within reach. Then she wouldn’t have to contain her emotions any longer.

But was that actually a good thing?

Kelsey wasn’t sure.

She gave Lee the address of the apartment building, which he then put into the GPS in the car that they’d rented.

When they reached the building, he pulled to a stop at the curb in front of the door. “We’ll come back and pick you up in the morning. Just text me when you’re ready to go.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Kelsey said. “I might end up wanting to go in fairly early.”

“Okay. Just let me know if you need a ride.”

“Thank you for everything today.” Kelsey opened the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“We’ll be praying for you,” Rori said. “I hope you sleep well.”

Kelsey wasn’t sure that would be the case, but she didn’t argue with her. Just said goodnight and got out of the car.

Once she reached the apartment, the silence was oppressive, but she tried not to dwell on it. Though it was still quite early, not even six o’clock, Kelsey decided to take a shower, maybe eat something, then go to bed.

As she stood in front of the shower a few minutes later, waiting for the water to warm up, the tears began to fall. She didn’t know how it had happened, but they’d gotten into the habit of showering together, and now she was going to have to do it alone.

Sobbing, she stepped into the warm spray and let it pound down on her and wash away her tears. But nothing could stem the emotion that rushed out of her, so she didn’t even try.

The shower ended up being so emotionally draining that Kelsey was in no mood to eat anything. Instead, she fell into bed, her hair still wrapped in a towel.

How long was she going to be doing all the things they’d done together, alone?

As Kelsey curled up under the covers, Zane’s pillow clutched in her arms, exhaustion dragged her toward sleep. Unfortunately, her thoughts were still going a mile a minute, clutching tightly to the edge of consciousness.

There were things she needed to do the next day, in addition to being with Zane. She had to call his workplace and hers, since neither of them would be able to work for awhile.

It seemed wrong to focus on the practical things while Zane’s condition was still so perilous, but he’d expect her to do it in his absence. So she would.

That next day set the pattern for the days to come.

Each morning, she went to the hospital to spend the day with Zane. His parents were there as well, though they didn’t talk much to her. They spent a lot of time on the phone, giving updates on Zane to a variety of people. Some family members, but also what sounded like people from their church.

After a few days, Lee and Rori had gone back to Serenity, and Gareth and Wilder had arrived. Wilder had brought his wife as well, but Gareth’s had stayed home with their kids.

Kelsey missed Rori, who had ended up being a great support for her. Lexi was nice, but she wasn’t as warm and friendly as Rori. With Lee and Rori gone, Kelsey felt very much on the outside as they all waited for the day when Zane would wake up.

It took several days, but finally everything looked good enough to the Halverson parents and Zane’s doctors to bring him out of the sedation. She’d hoped that he’d wake up immediately, but that didn’t happen.

All she wanted was for him to open his eyes so they could move into the next phase of healing from his accident. Kelsey knew it wouldn’t be easy because there were so many parts of his body that needed to heal, and with his broken leg, he wouldn’t be able to work for a while.

But they could handle all of that.

He just needed to open his eyes.