Zane (Halversons #8)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Zane stood in front of the large living room window, staring out at the street as he watched for Kelsey. She’d sent him a message an hour earlier to let him know she was leaving Spokane, so she should be home in the next ten or fifteen minutes.

His curiosity about her day was high, but he wasn’t going to press her for information. It was clear that she hadn’t felt comfortable sharing her plans. Whatever they were.

If he had his memory, he probably would have bugged her until she told him. Or maybe he would have already known, just because they were married and sharing their lives. Maybe she would have even wanted him to go with her.

However, even though technically he was her husband, he didn’t feel he had the right to question her further.

The house was quiet since Rori and Lee were both at work, meaning it was just him and Elsa hanging out together.

The day had dragged, which wasn’t really unusual. But that day, it had felt super long. And a little bit lonely without the knowledge that Kelsey was in the house. Even though there were days when she slept most of the day, just knowing she was there made the house feel less empty.

He needed to find things to occupy his time.

In one of his totes, he’d discovered his collection of cookbooks. They had been an eclectic assortment. But then, his interest in food was also eclectic. Where some people zeroed in on one type of cuisine, his interest had been more broad.

He had a cookbook featuring recipes from Thomas Keller’s French Laundry and Per Se restaurants, along with The Silver Spoon , which was a cookbook jam packed with Italian recipes. There was also a copy of The Professional Chef by The Culinary Institute of America.

Early on in his career, he’d followed the recipes in those cookbooks to the letter. But recently—his recently—he’d taken what he’d learned while making those recipes and developed some of his own.

In the tote, he’d also found his leather-bound journals that contained all the recipes he’d tried, along with the notes he’d made about them. It had been interesting to read through the recipes he’d added during his amnesic gap. He’d definitely grown as a chef in that time.

Those journals had been as revealing as his breakup ones.

As he’d read through the recipes and the notes he’d made on them, he could see himself moving away from the focus he’d had on taking haute cuisine recipes and remaking them into dishes that would be enjoyable for kids and people who might think they don’t like that type of food.

The recipes he’d filled the latter part of the journal with had been interesting, but they hadn’t followed the dream he’d had for his restaurant. It was like he’d abandoned that dream after Sarah had broken up with him.

Even after that, though, he’d continued adding to his savings account. That money was originally to be used to start his restaurant, so he had no idea what he’d been saving it for. Maybe for another style of restaurant. One that might cost more to start.

There was nothing saying he couldn’t switch it back, however. Looking through that journal had been inspiring, and it had reminded him of his passion.

He might not remember those missing years, but he was beginning to think that perhaps this was the reset he needed. And in reading those recipes and notes, he was also regaining a bit of the experience he’d lost. His forgotten self was still able to share some knowledge with him.

Maybe it was better he didn’t remember that time. It seemed the only truly good thing that had happened during those years was that he’d continued to save money.

And… marrying Kelsey. Definitely marrying Kelsey had been a good thing.

Now that he’d changed how he looked at the marriage he didn’t remember, he felt a hope for the future that he hadn’t had initially. Where that future might lead him and Kelsey, he didn’t yet know, but he wanted it to be fulfilling for them both.

Zane hoped that God would give them clear direction for where He would have them go. Or stay. He wasn’t as opposed to staying around Serenity as he’d once been.

Leaving Serenity for the sake of his career had ended up distancing him from his family and his faith. That bothered him, and he didn’t want that happening again.

When he saw Kelsey’s car glide to a stop in front of the house, Zane smiled. He was still curious about what had taken her away from the house for so long, but he was just glad that she’d made it safely to Spokane and back home again.

Zane watched her walk up the sidewalk to the steps of the porch. She moved slowly, like she was exhausted, her bag hanging from her hand.

Concerned, Zane limped from the living room to the foyer, arriving just as she opened the door and stepped inside the house. When Kelsey looked up and spotted him, she gave him a small smile.

“How was your day?” he asked as she shut the door and toed off her shoes.

Though she looked tired, she said, “It went well. I’m glad to be home, though.”

When Kelsey headed for the kitchen, he followed her. She set her bag on the counter, then went to the coffee maker. “Do you want coffee? Or should I just use one of the pods?”

“I’ll have some,” he said. “But let me make it. You sit down.”

“You don’t trust me to make good coffee?” Kelsey asked as she turned to him.

“Your coffee is just fine.” He approached where she stood, then took her arms and gently urged her to move to the side. “You look tired.”

She let out a sigh as she moved to sit on the barstool. “I am a bit.”

“So everything went okay?” he asked as he prepped the coffeemaker.

“Yep.”

“How did you find the drive?”

That got a smile out of her. “It was really nice, actually. A lot of beautiful scenery.”

“The mountains are always a sight to see.”

“I’ve never spent a lot of time in the mountains,” Kelsey said. “My time here is the closest I’ve been to mountains for any length of time.”

“Even moving around growing up, you never lived near mountains?”

“Not that I can remember. If we did, we certainly didn’t go see them.”

“After I’m free of my boot, we can go to the mountains,” Zane said. “They are beautiful this time of year.”

“I’d like that,” Kelsey said, a soft smile on her face.

“Then it’s a date.” Zane chuckled. “Whenever we settle on the date.”

As he waited for the carafe to fill, Zane took two mugs from the mug tree and set them on the counter. He got the cream from the fridge, finding it so much easier to move now that he was just in the boot, and he’d ditched the crutches.

Once the carafe was about half full, Zane pulled it out and filled their mugs. He quickly added cream and sugar to both, then stirred them before he slid one across the counter to Kelsey.

Searching for another topic to keep their conversation going, Zane asked, “Did I ever talk to you about being adopted?”

Lee had said something earlier about birth families, and Zane wondered if he and Kelsey had discussed the fact that he was adopted.

Kelsey looked at him from where she sat, her mug cupped in her hands. “You did talk about it a few times, but the only time we discussed it at length was in relation to Lee.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was when Lee’s girlfriend broke up with him because he didn’t know about his birth family. I wasn’t around when that happened, but you told me about it when you heard from Lee that he had started dating Rori.”

“How did I feel about what had happened to Lee?” he asked. He’d remembered Lee telling him about his girlfriend not being happy with his lack of knowledge about his past, but he didn’t recall their actual breakup.

“You thought he should have broken up with her right away when she first said she had an issue,” Kelsey said. “And that you would never stay with a woman who had a problem with you being adopted.”

“So, I’m assuming you didn’t?”

Kelsey shook her head. “I didn’t have a problem with that.”

“Did I tell you why I never sought out information about my own birth parents?”

Kelsey lowered her mug to the counter. “You said that since the Halversons hadn’t adopted you as a newborn, likely the circumstances of how you’d come to them had been bad. You didn’t really want to know because you didn’t think that information would bring anything good to your life.”

That was what he’d always felt. Plus, he’d been happy with the Halversons and didn’t feel like he’d needed another family. It didn’t sound like he’d told Kelsey that, which was more proof of the distance he’d ended up with from his family in recent years.

“Is that how you feel about it now?” Kelsey’s brow furrowed. “Or then?”

Zane knew what she was saying. “I do feel that way, and I’ve always viewed the Halversons as the only family I need.”

“I don’t blame you for feeling that way.”

Zane lifted his brows. “You say that even though they haven’t exactly been warm and welcoming to you?”

“I’m a stranger to them,” she said with a shrug. “But even so, I can see how much they love and care for you.”

“They’re coming around,” he told her, happy that she’d noticed his family’s love for him.

“I can see that.”

He still didn’t one hundred percent understand his family’s reaction to Kelsey. Nothing he’d learned about her seemed to warrant that reaction. Maybe it really had just been them being upset because they’d eloped.

Though he still didn’t like it, at least they were making an effort. He was just glad that Kelsey and Rori had bonded the way they had, because at least she had someone in the family she felt comfortable with.

“Do you think much about the future?” Zane asked, lifting his mug to take a sip.

Kelsey froze. The only things on her body that moved were her eyelids as she blinked rapidly. After what felt like forever, she shifted the mug on the counter in front of her.

“Uh… I do think about it, yes.”

“A lot?”

Kelsey shrugged. “I suppose. At least once a day.”

“Would you like to have a conversation about it?”

“Is now really the time for that?” Kelsey asked with a frown.

“I think it is,” Zane said, wondering why she wouldn’t want to have the conversation. “We don’t have to make definite plans, but I think it would be good to be aware of what we’re each thinking.”

She nodded. “So, what are you thinking, then?”

“I think we should probably stay here, maybe until the end of the year,” he said, having given it some serious thought already. “And then, if I still don’t have my memory back, we can start to make plans of where we want to go next.”

“You always said that you weren’t interested in living here,” Kelsey said.

Zane nodded. “That’s true. And I’m not saying that we have to live here long term.”

“So you wouldn’t consider staying here?”

That made him pause for a moment. “Would you want to stay here?”

Kelsey tilted her head as she stared down at her mug. “I don’t know. It’s not the worst place. Though I’m not sure I’d want to work full-time as a shelf stocker. Maybe I could find a different job here or drive to Coeur d’Alene.”

Her willingness to consider staying in Serenity took Zane by surprise.

“You’d really want to stay this close to my family?”

“Like you said, they’re getting more friendly,” she said. “Plus, Rori and Carisa are here.”

“Yes. They are.” Zane smiled. “See? I’m glad we talked about this. It lets me know what options we have.”

“So you would consider making this our permanent home?”

“Sure,” he said, glancing around. “And we could probably keep living with Lee and Rori. As long as you don’t mind that.”

She paused for a moment before shaking her head. “I don’t mind.”

“I’m going to start looking into restaurant possibilities around here. That way, if we do decide to stick around, I’ll have some ideas in mind.”

“Will you talk to Kayleigh?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t want her to feel obliged to hire me. I’m not really going to be in a position to work in a busy kitchen for awhile yet. Gareth said I can probably be walking without the boot soon, but he wants me to go for physio once it comes off.”

“That’s good.” She smiled, and it lit up her eyes. “You’re going to be so happy to be free of that and the crutches.”

“I am,” he agreed. “Want to go dancing?”

That got a laugh out of her. “Not a chance. I’ve never danced.”

“Neither have I,” he said. “Maybe we could take lessons.”

“How about you get your leg strengthened up first,” she told him, her smile growing. “Then we’ll talk about dancing.”

Zane felt their connection strengthen as they shared a laugh. He couldn’t deny that something had settled inside him when Kelsey had arrived home earlier. As time passed, his desire to be around her grew.

Early on, he’d rarely thought of her, and he’d tried to avoid being around her—especially if it was just the two of them.

Now, he sought out her company and really enjoyed it when they hung out on their own. And he rarely thought of Sarah these days.

When he’d initially made the decision to stick it out with Kelsey, it had seemed like getting to this point would be nearly impossible. Now that he had, he knew that it could only be God working in his heart.

To no longer feel the pulse of heartache from losing Sarah this soon was a minor miracle. Zane had envisioned it taking longer, but he wasn’t upset that it had happened sooner. There was a chance that if he’d taken too long to get to that point, they would have gone their separate ways.

So he was thankful that God was working in him, and hopefully, He was also working in Kelsey. There were still moments when he saw reservation in her gaze, and he knew she was still afraid to hope. Afraid to get hurt by him.

The last thing he wanted was to hurt her. He cared about how she felt now, in a way he hadn’t really cared a few weeks ago.

He moved over to where a ceramic cookie jar sat on the counter. As he lifted the lid, he glanced over at Kelsey. “Want one?”

“Sure. Chocolate chip?”

“Yep. I tried my hand at making some earlier today.”

He wasn’t a huge sweets eater, but he’d definitely been eating more while he’d been in Serenity. And though he wasn’t a baker, per se, he knew how to bake something relatively simple, like chocolate chip cookies.

“These are yum,” Kelsey said. “Another winner from Chef Zane.”

“I’m not really a baker, but I decided to give it a whirl.”

“What’s for supper?” she asked as they ate their cookies. “Something smells good.”

“I’ve got a chicken stew in the crock pot.”

“The crock pot?”

Zane grinned. “I think my family is rubbing off on me.”

“No kidding. I’m not sure you’ve ever used a crock pot since I’ve known you. A pressure cooker, yes, but not a crock pot.”

Some of the exhaustion Kelsey had had when she’d walked through the door had faded, and Zane was glad to see that. His curiosity was still there, but he didn’t feel a pressing need to know what she’d been doing in Spokane.

She was back home, and she was smiling at him. Despite the wariness that he sometimes spotted in her eyes, he thought that she was happy. Or as happy as she could be considering their circumstances.

He hoped that meant that she was willing to continue on this journey together… slow though it might be. His hope was strong that they were going to be able to make things work.

Their marriage might end up looking different from the one they’d had prior to the accident and his memory loss, but he had confidence that it would still be good. If they were both committed to making it work, he was more certain than ever that things would be fine between them.

He just had to keep doing his best to learn about Kelsey and the things she liked, to make her feel like she was important to him. Because, while that hadn’t been the case when he woke up after the accident, it had become that over time.