48 First Dates (Seeking Romance #1)

The Princess Gets a New Plan

29

This princess needs a

new plan. Step one: get better.

Step two: speed dating.

T he next day, as I packed the last of my belongings, tears rolled down my face. My heart raced. I caught a whiff of Brenn as I pulled a borrowed T-shirt of his out of the drawer and placed it gently in my suitcase. I told myself that the tears were because we were all leaving. I told myself it wasn’t because he texted our group yesterday, saying he was going to miss our meal that evening.

But my body’s response to his scent. The memory of Brenn’s declaration. The palpable chill of his absence said otherwise.

I missed Brenn, and I didn’t know if I would ever see him again. My hand shook a bit as I realized how much I wished I hadn’t thrown out the bottles under my bed.

Don’t focus on that, Adelaide. Focus on getting better.

“Can I help?” Cynthia entered my room, glancing under the bed and around the room. I was aware of what she was searching for.

After a year of living in a massive avoidance scheme, I came clean to my friends. I told them how I allowed the death of my father to throw off my internal compass. Instead of taking the path through the woods, I tried to go around the dark forest by seizing the day. Only the circular route of avoidance didn’t lead me to a peaceful life or a fairytale prince. The carpe diem round-about only led to misery for me.

Now, I had to find my way out. What I wanted was for my father to be proud of me. I didn’t want him to be disappointed by the person I had become during my senior year of college. However, deep down, I knew he would have forgiven me for losing my way. He would have extended grace and helped me find my bearings again.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and rubbed Brenn’s T-shirt one last time before closing the suitcase. “I’m hanging in there. I feel a bit like Snow White waking up after a deep sleep.”

Cynthia raised her eyebrows as she crossed her arms and leaned against my dresser.

“It’s like the poison apple of my dad’s death is clearing my system. I’ve woken up from the nightmare of the last year. The person I was before all that pain happened is coming back. And I’m just trying to calibrate my compass to make it through the dark forest.”

She reached out to rub my arm. “And you’re hoping that your prince will still be there waiting on the other side?”

I nodded as a single tear rolled down my face. “He hasn’t answered my texts. I understand, but I hoped... I just miss him.”

“I know, sweetie.” She pulled me into a hug.

A wave of loneliness swept over me. I wanted to share with Brenn that I had seen Wyatt and Cecelia last night, and I didn’t care anymore. I wanted to share with him my worry that I couldn’t fix the broken things that happened as I slept-walked through a year of life. And I wanted to show him my new apple charm—one that would remind me every day of my worst and best moments.

The three of us rolled our suitcases to the door and said a last goodbye to our college apartment. We hugged in the parking lot, and Cynthia drove away. As Mitzi and I got into my car, my stomach flip-flopped. We pulled out of the complex and drove toward the highway. Yes, I had apologized, and she had accepted yesterday. But things were still cold between us. I pulled out of the complex and drove toward the highway.

The first hour of the trip, our conversation consisted of short sentences about the drive.

“Do you mind this music?”

“Are you thirsty?”

“Do we need to stop for gas?”

Mitzi was uncharacteristically quiet. But she had still agreed to ride out to Tennessee with me, so I knew that all was not lost.

We were about an hour into our trip when I finally got the courage to say what I needed to say. “Mitzi, I’m sorry about everything that happened this last year. I was so focused on the shadows in my life that I missed how charmed my life was. I missed the gifts of friendship and love that I already had. For the last year, I’ve tried to find a way around my grief. But that didn’t happen. And now I need to wade through it so I can come out again on the other side. I told you yesterday how I’ve been drinking a lot more than you guys were aware of, and you know my plans to get help. Mitzi, you are my best friend and my family. You have been by my side through the best and the worst. I’m so sorry that I forgot what a gift that was last year.”

“Oh, sweetie, you were always forgiven. You went off the rails, but there’s always the grace to find your way back. I’m sorry, too. For once, I have been without words. But you’re my best friend, more like a sister, and you always will be. Of course, I forgive you!”

I pulled over because we were both crying so hard. We hugged, sobbed, and let go of the last year. When we were done, we left the mess of terrible memories on the side of the road in Alabama and kept on going. I felt lighter than I had in months.

“So, you and Brenn. That looked pretty... intense,” Mitzi said out of the blue about an hour later.

“Yeah, Mitz, you saw the tail-end of what was the best kiss I have ever had. And a piece of my heart is definitely his. You know we kissed another time. It was a short, feathery kiss before I met Wyatt. He was teasing me, and our lips touched. It was like getting hit by a lightning bolt, but he never mentioned it, and I didn’t either. I wondered ever since then, but Brenn made it clear yesterday that he wanted to be more than friends.”

“And why can’t you be together? It’s obvious to me you want that. And he said that’s what he wants... so where’s the problem?” Mitzi asked.

Yeah, Adelaide, why can’t you be together? My heart accused me, and I groaned.

“It would be so easy. To fall into a romance with him, even a long-distance one. But I can’t. I’ve been so swallowed up by pain. I’m just finding my bearings. I have to put that first, and it’s not fair to ask him to wait for me to figure it out. The space is good for us. If it’s meant to be, it will be when the time is right,” I said, trying to convince myself that it was true.

We arrived at our home base in Archway, Tennessee, ready to start a new chapter.

We found an apartment and began our new jobs. I found a group of people to keep me accountable. A grief and sobriety recovery class that met weekly in the church around the corner from our new place. It turned out that I wasn’t the only one who had turned to alcohol to dull the pain of my grief.

The more I learned, the more blessed I felt. The results of my actions hadn’t gone further than hurt feelings and embarrassing regret. One woman in my recovery group got pregnant from a one-night stand. A night that started off eerily similar to my night with Aiden. Our leader had gotten into an accident after a night of drinking. His accident had caused permanent damage to his spine, causing him to have to use a wheelchair. Once more, I felt that someone was watching over me.

Months later, my wrist had a tattoo of a simple cross behind a triquetra—something beautiful to remind me of my intersecting paths and the One that helped me figure out how to be healthy again. I hadn’t had a drink in over eight months. I was dealing with the loss of my father in a healthy way.

That part of my life was on track, but the whole “finding a fairy tale” part was not working.

I hadn’t been on a single date since arriving in the heights of the Appalachia.

I hadn’t had the heart to try. I knew who I wanted to be with, and I had blown it spectacularly. Brenn and I still “talked” technically. But our “conversations” consisted of texts no longer than a sentence or two.

One evening, Mitzi and I were enjoying burgers at our favorite diner, TC’s Grill . I noticed a flyer on the corkboard by the entrance. It said, “This Valentine’s Day, enjoy ten first dates in less than an hour! Find your fairytale prince or princess the pain-free speed-dating way!”

And that’s how Mitzi and I ended up at a long wooden table at Smokey Joe’s two weeks later on a Saturday night.

At the head of the table, the owner of the Fairytale Dating Service was telling us the rules for tonight’s speed date. “You’ll be divided into groups and given a number and a sheet. Sit at the table with that number to start. The sheet will tell you the first names of the people in your group, along with their numbers and any likes or dislikes they have shared with us. You will have six minutes with each person. The buzzer will sound at the end of the time, and the men will move. Ladies, you will stay put. Remember, it’s very important that you don’t share identifying information. No last names. No jobs. Just likes and dislikes.”

I wasn’t sure if those last few statements instilled confidence in this idea or made me want to turn tail and run.

She continued to speak, “Next to the names, you will find boxes for both yes and no. After your speed date, check one or the other. If you both select yes, this counts as a match, and we’ll send you both an email with contact information. We have all we need, so don’t worry. We’ll make sure you get your match’s information.”

They divided us up into groups of ten women and ten men, assigning us each a number. Mitzi and I ended up in different groups, which meant we headed to different rooms. We wished each other luck and moved toward the promise of an interesting hour.