A Baron of Bonds (Conduit of Light #2)

17. Karus

Chapter 17

Karus

The rain-soaked grass squelched under my boots as I watched the sun rise in the east. I inhaled the fresh morning air through my nose and held it, counting to ten before releasing the breath through my mouth.

Dark green slivers of my magic escaped my lungs as well, and I took another breath in a feeble attempt to stay calm.

I was bad at this.

Even at twenty-seven years old, I had not learned to control my anger. Images flashed in my mind of Revich being watched and his magic subdued in the Queen’s custody. If I did not gain control of my rage, I would arrive at the castle and burn it to ashes.

“Are you ready?” Geyrand uttered softly in the cool dawn, his breath leaving his lungs in a gust of white.

I pulled my borrowed cloak around me tighter and nodded. Standing in front of Geyrand’s home, I wanted to scream. I wanted to tear the very ground open at my feet and scar the earth so that it looked as I felt about myself. I wanted to storm into the Castle of Hyrithia and rip through every single room until I found Rev.

Today would be a day of reckoning for all I had put him through. I would have him see that I was sorry—that I would find a way to make up for our lost time, for his despair in my leaving him again, and I would beg for him to forgive me.

Then I would put the Queen in her place. I would force her mouth shut as I told her of my life these past seven years. There would be no trial for Revich of that, I was certain.

“Do not enter the castle like that.” Geyrand looked me up and down, his brows raised and a grimace across his freckled face. “Be careful now. The Queen and the other rulers of Arcaynen have influence and power. You do not. Now, you play the game of politics. If you want to leave for Felgren with Revich, you need to stay calm. If the Queen sees you like this…you know how she gets when she sees your anger.”

He was right, of course. The Queen had always thought of my anger as an annoyance—something I should be able to control easily but never could.

I was hardly able to think of her as the woman who raised me now. Replaced was the monarch who stood in my way.

I whistled in the chilled air and the lumens peaked their heads from the sable doors. I ignored the red of their eyes and the vines at their throats as their colors and textures turned back to the lumens I knew.

“How far are we from the castle gates?”

“A full day’s ride. We should be there around dusk.”

“How fitting,” I mumbled, thinking of the last time I was within the city walls. I climbed on top of Parvus’s back, giving him his favorite scratches behind his ears.

Geyrand settled himself on the back of Rauca and she whined at me.

“We’re going to see Revich. You’ll get to knock him over soon enough.” She howled into the morning and we were off, the long ride ahead. It was one I would face over and over if it meant I would be back with the man I called home.

We stopped twice. Once at another sentry’s cottage to give water to the lumens and eat quickly. Geyrand knew every one of the patrol guards in the grasslands to the north of Hyrithia and this one was in a state of shock at the sight of the lumens.

We stopped again at a small stream that cut through the hills so the lumens could drink and we could replenish our pouches with fresh water. We had been riding for close to nine hours and I knew Parvus and Rauca were reaching their limit. My own back ached and my arms were sore from holding onto Parvus’s fur so tightly.

“We should arrive in another hour. Their stamina is impressive.” Geyrand motioned to the lumens who had curled together on the bank of the creek. Parvus’s head was tucked into Rauca’s chest as she laid her snout on his.

“A lumen’s strength is fueled by Felgren.”

“How long do they live?”

“The oldest of the pack is seventy-one seasons. But time is different in Felgren. I’m not sure how old she is in years here.”

He nodded, pursing his lips before asking, “How long have you been in Felgren, Karus? What has it felt like to you?”

I took a long drink from my pouch. The truth was, I had no idea how long it felt inside of Felgren after I lost my memories. Each day had been the same as the last and I could not count time in the state I was in. I made a mental note to ask Revich someday.

“I don’t actually know. I was so lost for so long. The magic I used that night…” I shook my head and took another drink. “Revich was right. It was immensely powerful and it broke me in ways I cannot describe. I drifted each day in a haze of lost memories and time.” I shook my head again and inhaled deeply. “Revich’s love brought me back. One day, I’ll tell you the full story and you can see how much I need him.”

He took my hand and squeezed. “I believe it. You will be companions?”

“Yes. As soon as this mess is over, we are going to the ceremony right away. I won’t wait any longer.”

He nodded again and grinned. We sat along the grassy shore for a bit longer, giving the lumens their much deserved and needed rest before calling them to finish the journey.

We rode for another hour before reaching the peak of the tallest hill that rose before Hyrithia to the north. The same hill the Prince, Geyrand, and I would roll down on summer days, bruised and aching by evening.

The city expanded over a vast distance, the edges of its boundaries too far to see. Smoke rose from chimneys and the echo of voices and carriages and bustle from the largest city on the isle met us in a familiar wave of movement.

That’s what Hyrithia had always felt like. Constantly moving, bargaining, trading. The cogs of the core of the city never stopped. Even the night markets kept people busy with new inventions and the selling of wares.

I loved this city, but I had grown to love Felgren more, and I missed the tall trees and lifting breeze that filled my heart with joy.

Autumn had cast its hold on Hyrithia. The tops of the trees surrounding the city were tipped with orange, yellow, and red. The sun was setting to the west and the air felt as if it would drop to chill the grass with dew at any moment.

Revich was there.

He was in that tall castle that shone in an orange haze with the goodbye of the sun. “Rev,” I whispered to the wind, somehow hoping the sound of my voice would reach his ears.

“Remember, you have been gone for over seven years. The Queen suspects the Baron is malicious, and the Prince…well…” Geyrand pointed to the northern wall of the castle where the stone did not match the rest of the facade. “Do you see that discoloration?”

I nodded.

“When the Prince heard of your death, that wall of the castle collapsed, killing five servants and one guard. We’d never seen anything like that from him. No one knew he was a channeler.”

I thought of the Black Fever that had torn its way through this city years ago. From what I knew now, it had been controlled by Baron Heimlen through channelers. That was how he was able to spread it from person to person, by feeling for their magic. The Prince had been the last one infected by the disease, and therefore, must be a channeler, even though I’d never seen him use his power.

“Has he used his magic since?”

“As far as I know, no.”

I swallowed hard. All of these questions and problems could wait.

“Ready for this?” Geyrand asked, his eyes hardened, his body stiff.

“Yes. Yes, I’m ready.”

“Karus of Felgren!” The guard who addressed us as we neared the city gates was one I did not recognize. She looked to be only a few years older than me with tawny skin and dark eyes. The sides of her head were shaved, resulting in one long, intricate braid that cascaded down her armor. There was no warmth or welcome in her call, and her instructions came with authority.

“You will be escorted to the Queen’s throne room. There, you will receive further instructions and give your statement to her majesties regarding the trial of the Baron of—” She stumbled for a moment on her words, coughing and clearing her throat, the slightest hue of green left there. “Of the Baron of Felgren.”

Geyrand’s eyes shot in my direction, but I ignored him. I knew this woman had nothing to do with Revich’s imprisonment or trial, but she was lucky she merely choked on her words.

“We will follow you then, Captain Yarah.” Geyrand replied.

“You will dismount your beasts and walk to the castle from here.”

Parvus growled and I stroked between his eyes replying, “The lumens come with us.”

The captain inhaled deeply, her eyes narrowing at the sight of them. “My orders are to keep the beasts outside of the city gates. The Queen cannot risk her people’s safety.”

I looked to Geyrand for strength. The strength to hold back my simmering rage.

I closed my eyes and focused. If I was to get to Revich, I needed to control the urges I felt—the urge to tear through the guards, the castle, and anyone who stood in my way to get to him.

I had hurt him. Me . And I just needed to keep my magic, my anger, and my immense guilt under control until I could get him out of this situation—the one I had played a part in.

I nodded in agreement of the captain’s orders and slid off Parvus’s back. “You both must stay out here.” He whined and I rubbed the top of his snout. “I will be safe. You can find a place to hunt and rest. I will call for you before the morning. I promise.”

Geyrand dismounted Rauca and both lumens watched as we followed the captain over the stone bridge and up the dusty path that led to the gates of Hyrithia.

As I strode forward, the iron portcullis rose, the clicks of each gear pushing me forward to reuniting with Rev.

I wished this had gone differently. I wished I could have met my former family again with Rev at my side, holding my hand as he always did as if it were just an extension of himself.

But we were past that opportunity, so I kept moving forward. I could not change the past, but I could try to protect our future.

I noticed little of the place I had known. Everything around me was a blur of noise and movement, hurried people and commerce, evidence of a thriving city.

I kept my eyes on the captain’s back, barely noticing how more guards surrounded us as we neared the castle doors.

I wondered if the Queen feared me now and what I could do.

I didn’t care. I didn’t care or process what was happening in real time like I should have. Rev would have played this out nicely. He would have seen the different outcomes and planned ahead in the back of his mind.

It seemed I was incapable of that.

The only thing I saw was red.

“The Queen will bring the Baron of Felgren forth and you will state your defense of his actions and lies against the crown. You will then be escorted to your own private chambers and the Queen will see you privately if she wishes it.”

Geyrand reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “And the Prince? Is he to attend this meeting as well?”

Captain Yarah glanced to the guard beside her who shook her head once. “The Prince is occupied elsewhere.”

Rev.

Rev.

Rev.

I repeated his name in my thoughts as the doors opened, and we entered the great foyer of the castle. The familiar scent of fresh-cut blooms, mint, and chalk met my nose.

Little had changed in seven years, and chills swept through my heated body as I picked up my pace, my breath desperate to escape my lungs, my legs beginning to overtake the captain’s lead.

My feet knew the way, and as a surge of power radiated across my skin, I knew I could not—would not—be stopped.

“Wait!” the captain yelled, her hand reaching for my arm. Static met her fingers and she pulled back in a yelp as I picked up my rosy skirts and began to run.

I flew past the main staircase, careening left.

Rev.

I passed the halls that lead to the kitchens and the secret one that led to the guard’s chambers.

Rev.

I heard the clank of running armor behind me and picked up speed, my boots pounding on the gray stone as I dodged servants and off-duty guards alike—my ravage through the castle upsetting more than one tray and bundle of linens.

Finally, the crimson doors to the throne room loomed ahead, and I could not even yell his name for fear of pausing even the slightest in my desperate pursuit of the man I loved.

I sent my magic out ahead of me in a sparking ball of power. The doors burst open, each slamming into the walls of the gilded hall, their hinges groaning at the violence.

I stormed inside without falter, a hurricane of great wind and strength, unyielding in my pursuit across the tiled floor. Green swirls of power radiated from my fingers unbidden and uncontrolled.

“WHERE IS HE?” I thundered, my eyes darting all around the massive room, unable to focus on any one face, unable to discern if I knew any of the people I had burst upon. A woman gone seven years and a woman changed stood before them all, uncaring about her past, looking only for her future.

The Queen was surrounded by her royal guards immediately. I recognized her at least. They drew their swords as if they could stop what I had started.

Rev.

He stepped down from the dais with ease as if he’d been patiently waiting.

He strode toward me as if we had all the time and means in the world to reunite and live—live for each other, live for what we believed in and believed we could do for this world.

I could no longer move, my boots were adhered to the floor, my legs pillars of iron.

I could no longer breathe as my lungs collapsed and I exhaled in anguish—a cry of relief, of absolute guilt. My magic spun from me to greet him first, tangling around his body like a tether, pulling him forward.

He moved swiftly with the gait he’d always used. I laughed thinking of all the times I’d been annoyed by his pace and now I could not get him to move any faster.

His eyes were black. The blackest I had ever seen and they stayed on me without heed of the guards moving to pull him back—without bothering to move from my own as one guard approached to pull him around.

Revich’s azure strike of power sent the guard sliding across the floor on his backside while flames, the color of a dimly-lit sea, burst through the mosaic floor in straight lines toward me. They formed around my body to enclose me into a room of his making. The only space still open from his enclosure faced him as he continued forward, closing the gap between us that had been far too wide for far too long.

His cage of solid blue magic closed around his back and above us. I heard the shouts and screams from the throne room as the last of the noise and view was cut off completely, solidifying us in our room of his making.

“Rev!” My voice broke as he reached me, pulling me to his chest. I sobbed, my hands gripping the back of his shirt so tightly, my fingernails bent in the pressure.

I could do nothing else.

I thought I would die there in his arms as he gripped my body so tightly, it didn’t matter that I could not breathe before. I could not now in his embrace either.

He pulled me back, both of his strong hands clasped around my face. “Do you know me?”

I sobbed again, a pathetic creature in truth—one without the strength left to answer him with words.

He shook my head in panic. “ Do you know me, Karus? ”

I cried out again and nodded, my lips reaching his just as he gritted his teeth and moved down to mine.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to mumble between our mouths. “Forgive me.” He gripped me harder. “ Please ,” I begged.

I heard nothing else in our glowing cage of the power of the Baron of Felgren. The colors swirled a solid black and blue all around us and we heard nothing but the sound of our hurried breaths and pressed lips. We kissed each other with force, our tongues ready to bruise, our teeth ready to bite, to maim, and mark what each of us thought of as our own.

He consumed me with his lips, his tongue and teeth, and I him, neither willing to let the other have more than what we ourselves wanted—what we each needed.

I tore through his shirt just as he pulled on my thighs, once again and for the hundredth time lifting me up onto his waist, my shaking legs wrapping around his hips in a possessive clutch.

His shirt ripped and I pulled at the sleeves in a wild fury, yanking the apparently useless amethyst band from his arm and throwing it to the ground. Either by the force of my magic or the strength of my throw, it shattered, bits of purple stone flying across our space and skittering along the mosaic floor.

Holding my back, he swept us down to the patterned tile, an expanse of purple and midnight thistle, each inlay a tiny part of what created a masterpiece in the castle.

He was the masterpiece. He was the part of me that created something so beautiful, I could not be without it. I had tried. For seven years I had breathed and my body had pumped blood through my veins, but I had not lived.

This . This was living.

I gripped his black hair in my hands, our mouths still harsh and furious, our chests finally touching as he yanked down the top of my dress, brass buttons flying to the barrier and bouncing off its swirling surface.

I fumbled my hands to his pants, unbuttoning them swiftly and using my boots to slide them down just as he cupped my breasts and squeezed, the pain fueling our lust further as I pulled up my skirts and ripped aside my undergarments, finding the thick of him and guiding it inside of me.

My cry this time was of pleasure.

My breath this time left my body in a torrent of ecstasy, any remote thought of holding back on what I wanted from him long gone from my mind. All I could see was him .

All I could feel was him , thick and pounding inside of me, and I could not fathom how I could ever live without it.

Each thrust gave me life.

Each dip of his hips reassured me that what I needed to survive was him .

We had only time.

We had only need, and frustration, and desire.

The pleasure was so great, the moment of our reunion so powerful, I found myself slipping into a fuzzy black, my eyes rolling to the back of my head, my neck falling limp in a picture of death by lust. Death by ravaging of the man who was as much a part of me as my own soul.

“No, you don’t,” he gritted, picking up his pace as my legs let loose at his sides, and I began to sink into the ornate flooring of the castle I was raised in.

“You’re staying right here with me,” he growled and slid one hand behind my head, pulling on a fistful of my hair, the dull pain bringing me back to the light to relish in the exquisite release that tore through my very bones in a shedding of all I had held inside for weeks.

“ Karus, ” he groaned, pushing himself inside over and over, again and again and again, seeking his own oblivion and finding it as his mouth met mine once more. His tongue pressed against mine, daring me to meet him one more time in what we were so masterful at making together.

He slowed finally as my senses returned in pieces. My lungs burned as if I had run miles without stopping. My legs shook as if I had climbed a mountain. He did not move from me as he gasped into my neck, and I squeezed his chest to mine.

I would not let go.

How could I ever let go.

He motioned to slide out of me and lift himself off my body, but I held on tighter. “No. Please.” He moved his head to look at me, and I at least allowed that. His bottom lip was bleeding and his eyes were a wild blue that matched the magic that still surrounded us. “Just stay here a little longer.”

He smoothed the hair matted to my face in sweat and caressed my cheek with his thumb.

I swallowed and blinked my tears away, letting them fall down the sides of my face without any effort from me to stop them. “I’m sorry,” I choked. “I never should have gone. I’m so sorry. I love you.”

Pain crossed his face and he leaned down to kiss me softly. I tasted the blood on his mouth and savored it, the sharp swell of iron helping me focus even more.

He pulled away from my lips and slid out of me, rolling to his back and tucking me onto his chest. He grabbed my trembling leg and draped it over his hips as I always loved to do.

I buried my face in his neck and whispered, “Please forgive me. Please say something.” I wiped at my eyes and continued hurriedly, “I know it is difficult to love me. I know I don’t make it easy, but I?—”

He lifted my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes and cutting me off. “It is not difficult to love you, Karus. It has never been difficult to love you. What is difficult is keeping you safe. Often from yourself. It is difficult not to lock you up and keep you from your own reckless decisions. It is difficult to not tether you to myself with a leash or a chain, so that I can watch over your every move. So you cannot get yourself into situations like this.”

He sighed, gathering his thoughts, his jaw tightening again. “That is what is difficult. It is easy to love you. It is easy to give my heart to you, regardless of how much you or I break it.”

I hated myself. I hated witnessing what I knew I had done to him. Seven years of torture from one reckless decision. Two more weeks of the same from my determined curiosity and fierce selfishness.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“I don’t believe that, but it doesn’t matter anyway. You have me.”

I kissed him again and believed it still.

He pressed his forehead to mine. “Are you hurt?” he whispered, the crackle of his powerful cage akin to a fire burning in a dry summer heat.

My lips trembled and I pushed his hair behind his ear. I couldn’t speak of it yet. I couldn’t admit the truth of what I had witnessed and what I had learned. The looming pressure of leaving this intimate place he had made for us pressed on my thoughts. I knew we had much to face outside of it.

But at least we’d face it together.

“Okay,” he murmured understanding me entirely. “You can tell me when you’re ready.”

He sat up, bringing me with him, our clothes in shambles, our hair matted and streaked with sweat. He pulled the sleeves of the pink dress back up my shoulders, realizing what I wore for the first time.

Raising a brow, he chuckled and buttoned the remaining one, just enough to cover my bare chest. He smoothed the ruffles of the collar gently as if to preserve the delicate lace from the aftermath of our ravishing of each other’s bodies.

“It’s borrowed.”

“I figured.”

“It’s very pink and unflattering on me.”

“I didn’t seem to notice. Sarchio.” His enchantment worked in a slow turn. The buttons that had flown across our space hovered in the air, encased in his blue light, mending themselves back onto the dress, the fabric smoothing out from its puckered state.

I grinned, laughing softly, watching his eyes alight with the mischief I loved. “ Sarchio, ” I mumbled back, smiling myself at the repair of his shirt while he stood and pulled on his pants, offering his hand for me to rise as well.

He pulled me close, his hands caressing my back as they should always do and I lifted my arms around his shoulders. My eyes fell to the cut of his lip and I lifted a hand over the wound. “ Sarch ?—”

“No.” He caught my hand and brought it to his broken lip. “This stays. We don’t mend this. Let them see.”

“She’ll be more than willing to try to punish you now. Maybe even punish both of us.”

“If you’d like to leave, I can send you back to Felgren.” He moved back from my body and made a movement with his hands I had not seen before.

A glowing viridescent portal opened in our magical enclosure—just my size.

“I’ve never seen you do that,” I gasped.

He shrugged. “I told you once that portal magic is rare. I had only begun my lessons on portals before Heimlen died. I had to learn the rest myself. If you’d like, you can return to Felgren and I’ll deal with this mess here.”

“You won’t go with me? Why don’t we just leave right now and handle this mess from our home?”

He shook his head. “That’s not how my portal magic works. Only one living heart can enter each portal before it closes, and I cannot make another for a while. It takes a certain kind of power that I have not completely mastered.”

I thought about the black portal the Blightress had lured me into. She must know portal magic Rev did not.

Tangling my fingers into his, he brought them to his lips, leaving delicate kisses on each of my knuckles. “If you go, I will be able to follow in a day or so. At least I’d know you’d be safe. I cannot leave without righting things here.”

“You think I’d leave you now?” I scoffed, “You think I’d leave you to get through all this mess on your own?” I shook my head and shrugged. “Chain? Leash? You’ve got it.”

He pulled me back to his chest, the portal closing in a loud thwap .

“Ready?” he murmured into my ear, kissing my temple.

I moved to his side to face the dais he had kept us hidden from and slid my hand into his, pulling my hair back from my face. “Next to you, Baron Revich, I’m ready for anything,” I said with a tired soul, but renewed confidence.

He smirked and our crackling walls began to fall.

He let them down slowly, and we both watched as our enflamed enclosure melted away, revealing what we would have to face, but what we could face together.