A Baron of Bonds (Conduit of Light #2)

18. Saelyn

Chapter 18

Saelyn

I was almost seventeen, and I lived for Viridis.

Actually, I lived inside of Viridis. I had been so clever to pull together four of the silky benches, each an entirely different color, all with the claws and talons of varying monsters. I liked to imagine that the bestial feet intricately carved into the four legs of each bench were creatures who watched over me as I slept.

Pah-Pah disapproved of my occasional choice of rest, but did not tell my mother. She had grown anxious, jittery, and difficult to speak to in the last year and did not need to be bothered with where her daughter chose to sleep.

She still held immense power and wielded it for our people, but it seemed rote now. It seemed as if we all were there, but she was not.

We no longer took long walks in the forest together. We no longer ate breakfast each morning side by side to plan out our days. I’d watch her do her duties and wring her hands together, squeezing them until they turned white.

To cope with this change in my mother, I spent more and more of my days in Viridis. I had learned even more control of my magic and practiced among the great courtyard each morning, afternoon, and evening. The only person who ever really noticed my absence was Pah-Pah, who made sure I was fed and still scrubbing my teeth each morning and night.

If anyone had been my caretaker, it was him.

“You’re like a father to me, Pah-Pah.” I told him one morning as we sat together in my favorite hall.

He grinned wide and chuckled. His wrinkled, dark face lighting up in my admittance. “You know, Sae, you’ve been as much a daughter to me than any I might have had a part in making. Life is funny that way. I did not know I would have you to care for one day, but here you are, beautiful as the first day I cradled you in my arms.”

I slumped into my hand, my elbow resting on my knee. He had brought hard cheese and apples for our first meal of the day and I munched contentedly on a slice of the crimson fruit that I had layered with a chunk of crumbly cheese.

Mouth full and manners lacking, I asked, “What should we do for my birthday? It’s coming up with the next silver moon and I think you and I should celebrate.”

He stiffened oddly.

“What is it?” I stopped my chewing and straightened, intrigued by his sudden seriousness.

“I had forgotten it was so close. How many days is it now?”

“Thirty-seven if you count the rest of today, which I suppose we must.”

He nodded. “Yes, we should have a special celebration. Do you have anything in mind?”

I grinned, but not too wide. I didn’t want him to say no to all of the ideas I had planned.

“I’ll think of something. We can plan a whole day and night of it.”

He nodded again and raised a well-groomed brow my way. “Thevin will be back for the summer by then, will he not?”

I blushed. “Yes.”

“And do you think you’ll tell him how you feel this time?”

“No.”

His face softened. “Saelyn, no happiness was ever had without a risk being taken.”

“I don’t know any happy people who became so from taking a risk.”

“You know me.”

“What risk did you take?”

He nodded toward the vast courtyard. “I chose to come here. Felgren is not the place I have always called home, and by taking that risk, I have found myself to be happy.”

“And my mother? Was she ever happy?”

“Ah, Saelyn, you are too observant. You notice too much for your young years, and I fear one day you will find yourself in trouble because of it.”

I picked at the skin of my apple, ripping pieces off each slice in one long strip of red. “I’m right, though, aren’t I? No risks they ever took made them happy. My father is dead after all.”

He reached across the space between us and pulled me into an embrace, smoothing my hair back and kissing the top of my head just as he did when I was little. “Your parents took risks and were very happy. We do not know what our future holds when we take the uneasy step of moving toward the unknown, but we do know what our future holds when all we do is stand still.”

I glanced up from his chest to look into his golden-brown eyes. “And what’s that, Pah-Pah?”

“The same, Sae. The same life we have always lived.”

His words filtered through Viridis’s breeze and I sighed. The barest brush of my name whispered through the birch trees, and I wondered if I’d ever be brave enough to step forward and take any risk at all.