A Cruel Kindness

Chapter 24

Bellamy

Soren woke me up at sunrise with a gentle kiss on my brow. “I have to go before we get reamed for breaking protocol.”

“No,” I mumbled, pulling him tighter to me. I didn’t give a shit about protocol. He was too warm to let him up.

“Baby,” Soren groaned, almost giving up. Good, I snuggled a little closer to him. “You can either wake up with me or I can let you sleep. Your choice.”

I woke up quickly, rolling over him and pinning his wrists to the bed. “What if I don’t want you to leave?” I asked with a pout. “I could just make you stay here.”

Soren flipped me on my back before I could even blink, securing me much more effectively than I’d done to him. He then made a very, very strong argument why I should listen to him, making me finish twice with his mouth before the sun fully rose in the sky.

When I tried to reciprocate, he pulled away after one last, smacking kiss on my mouth and disappeared back down the tunnels, leaving me frowning in the middle of rumpled sheets.

Well, I certainly wasn’t going back to sleep now.

I took a long bath, then dressed myself, waiting for the summons that would inevitably come for my meeting with my father. I was sure he was planning an interrogation.

I tucked the envelope from Elijah in the waistline of my skirt, making sure my sweater was enough to obscure it.

Sure enough, right as I was getting restless, Laura knocked on my door saying, “Your father would like to speak with you.”

I really wished Soren was here for this, but it was better to do it alone. My father wouldn’t listen to me if he was too busy glaring at Soren within an inch of his life.

Laura led me to my father’s office and with each step forward I grew more and more anxious.

I don’t like this, the Bond singsonged in my head, with the lilt of someone telling you that you were wrong and they were waiting for the opportunity to say I told you so.

The Bond was protective of me and my father was ultimately not someone who had my best interests at heart, unless they happened to also be in his own best interests.

By the time Laura dropped me off with my father, he was standing at the floor to ceiling windows, staring out over the city.

“You know, when I swore before God and the priestesses that I would protect this world, I knew that my oath was greater than most,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back. I followed his gaze out, to the shifting heights and makeups of the buildings, stretching farther than the eye could see.

And that was just a piece of what my father ruled over.

“I was the second Emperor to know that I was swearing to protect this planet from our enemies, rather than ourselves.” My father turned back towards me, his posture as hard as his tone. Not an ounce of gentleness for his only daughter.

He’d never been paternal in the slightest. It was why my brother had run away to university on the far edge of the Edelstenne islands and hadn’t returned for four years.

“And?” I asked, the word pushing out through a tight throat.

My father’s mouth quirked in a grin, ever the one to know more than everyone else in the room. “And that has doubled the burden on my shoulders. I must make hard decisions, even ones that leave me sleepless at night. I’m sure you can relate after what you’ve seen.”

I had to breathe deep to dispel my nerves. There was a chance he’d discovered what I’d done. I wouldn’t put it past him.

I had bigger things to focus on than trying to interpret my father’s grandiose life lessons. I removed the envelope from the back of my pants, extending it to him.

“We’ve made contact with the Prince’s favored general. He asked me to hand deliver this envelope. I’m told it contains peace negotiations.” There, that sounded good enough. I tended to be soft spoken, preferring the sneaky way around but my father liked to barrel right through people.

The only way to prevent that from happening to you was to stand your ground.

My father looked at the envelope in my hand like it would poison him.

“It’s not going to kill you,” I snapped. For all my father’s overconfidence, he was concerned about some Muli paper and ink.

My father took the envelope out of my hand, inspecting either side. “I’m surprised you didn’t open it. You had a habit of rifling through my things.”

He was baiting me, but I wouldn’t give him a reason to claim I’d committed active treason. “Elijah—the general—told me that the paper would disintegrate if I tried to do that. I chose to preserve the message for you.”

My father nodded before sliding a finger under the seal and breaking it. My heart rate started to pick up as he slowly pulled the missive out of the envelope as if it contained the answers to my future.

I guess it did. It affected two entire planets.

I watched him closely as he read, grabbing onto every little micro-expression. Then possibly the worst of them all followed.

He smiled.

It was the smile of someone who had gotten exactly what they wanted. His eyes rose slowly, his smile widening. “Darling girl, what did I tell you when you informed me that you had a Mark.”

Panic was starting to build, causing the Bond to thrash around internally. “You said good . Then you told me that at least there was an Edelstenne over there.”

It had actually been a ten minute monologue about Edelstenne strength that ended with him reminding me that I was beautiful and to use that to my advantage.

“Precisely,” he replied, grinning ear to ear. “And exactly as I’d hoped, the Muli royal family took good note of that.”

“What does that mean?” I asked, even though I had a haunting, horrible feeling I knew exactly what he was referring to.

That was impossible. I couldn’t.

“It means that the Prince has made a formal offer of marriage.”

My world crashed down around me, shattering like a thousand glass flutes that sprayed champagne everywhere in their wake.

“I—what?” My confusion was cut off a second later when my father shoved the letter into my hands, letting me read for myself.

I had minutes, if Elijah was to be believed.

My vision was hazy as I tried to understand what was in front of me.

Emperor Edelstenne,

It has come to my attention that your daughter has traveled to Muli. I am considering her arrival on my planet to be a blessing, rather than a continued example of your abhorrent behavior. Make no mistake, my patience has been the only reason we have not obliterated all of your defenses and subjected your world to the treatment you have given mine.

As a final suit for peace, I am extending an offer to your daughter, Bellamy Edelstenne, to join me in marriage and bridge the gap between our two worlds. She presents a unique asset, able to communicate messages between us as negotiations unfold. That being said, she will of course be required to reside on Muli during the duration of the marriage.

If you choose to ignore yet another gracious attempt by my family to sue for peace, I will have no choice but to abandon our concern for innocent life and engage in a full-fledged assault on Vir.

Kindly,

Caspian Silverthorn XIV

Prince of Muli, Protector of the People, Future Son-in-law

I was pretty sure I’d stopped breathing.

My sanity withered away with the paper disintegrating in my hand.

“I can’t marry him,” I said, the words falling from my lips and horribly true.

I couldn’t. The Bond was making that fact very, very known, angered by the simple utterance of the word marriage if it didn’t concern Soren.

Oh my god, Soren.

“You will,” my father said.

My head snapped up to find him leaning against his desk with a smug expression on his face. All of the sudden, things got very, very clear to me. “You wanted this,” I said, not quite believing the words.

My father just shrugged. Shrugged . “I must say you did me a wonderful favor deciding to run off to the priestesses. I had intended to push Muli into doing something desperate by ignoring their pleas. There is no better way to figure out someone’s weakness than to see them when their patience cracks.” I’d known my father was maniacal, but this was an entirely different level of apathy that I hadn’t known him capable of. “Once I found out that you would be absconding to Muli, I’d considered the best way to utilize your talent. Had the Prince not reached that decision himself, I would have eventually extended your hand.”

“I’m … I can’t—my hand isn’t available.” My defenses were weak, but I was still trying to wrap my head around this.

My father cocked his head, considering, “Are you married? I can have a priestess issue a quick divorce.”

I shook my head, forcing down tears. “I’m a paranima . I can’t get married.” Panic pushed out a rush of other suggestions. “I can be an emissary. I can travel back and forth and try to negotiate a peace treaty.”

“And why would I trust you when you broke into my office? For all I know you were the catalyst for this new suggestion.” My father’s face was entirely void of emotion, which was his scariest, most threatening form. That told me that he had no qualms throwing me in a cell for treason if I didn’t cooperate.

Or worse, go after the people I loved. "You wouldn't," I gasped.

My father simply chuckled. "Oh, but I would. I orchestrated Soren's drafting in the first place. That young boy was a bit too charismatic for my liking. Something I'm sure you've noticed." My cheeks heated, my father calling out how deeply Soren affected me like it was a bad thing. "I have no problems doing it again."

I'd always known my father was to blame, but now he'd admitted it. Now, my family was actually responsible for Soren's pain. I refused to cause him any more.

Well, it seemed like I would hurt him regardless. I would just pick the lesser of two evils.

“In fact,” my father said, pushing off his desk and walking toward me. His hand lifted to my chin and I forced myself not to flinch away. “I think your status makes you the perfect candidate. I certainly couldn’t bear sending my only daughter away with no way to return to me. Let alone the fact that you would certainly suffer side effects of Crossing, one of which might affect your health so much you wouldn’t be able to carry on the Edelstenne line.”

My father pushed my chin away, forcing me to stumble back a step. “Now,” he said, rounding his desk and taking a seat in front of a stack of Empire letterhead, “In the absence of a woman of Royal Vir blood who is able to Cross by themselves, I will be accepting this engagement.”

Something in his words forced me towards searching for another solution. There had to be some other way for me to fight this. I opened my mouth to protest, to say anything , but he cut me off with a raised hand. “And understand that if you refuse, I will simply remove the individual you deem an impediment to this situation.”

Terror, more potent than anything I’d ever known, poured into every inch of my body.

No. No. You must protect him. You have to protect him. You can’t— the Bond was wailing, begging me on its knees to keep Soren safe.

My father wouldn’t kill him. No, he was smarter than that. He wouldn’t risk me following Soren into death.

He would lock him up, likely in a form of abhorrent torture, if I didn’t agree.

“I—” I had to cut myself off and clear my throat to make sure I got the words out. “I accept.”

“Smart,” my father said with a horrid grin. He picked up his ink pen and I watched in terrified silence as he inked a response to the Prince, promising him my hand.

How was the Prince even okay with this? Surely Elijah had told him I was Matched.

Maybe that didn’t mean all that much in the face of war.

It certainly felt like it did.

When my father was done, I watched as he pressed a letter opener into his thumb, drawing a drop of blood before placing it into hot wax and transferring it to the enclosed letter in front of him.

With the press of the family seal to set it, my fate was decided and the blood seal finalized.

I couldn’t alter his words.

Elijah would be delivering that very message to the Prince, and then I would be engaged.

“I trust you are smart enough not to attempt to tamper with this,” my father said as he stood to hand me the letter.

I nodded numbly, not sure what else to do.

“Good,” he said, echoing the same words he’d said when I stood in this very spot and he inspected the Mark freshly inked into my skin. The very same one that was burning in painful fury. “Your transport will leave this afternoon. I would like this letter delivered as soon as possible.”

“What do you want to happen?” I asked, needing to test the limits of his honesty.

My father dragged a hand down my hair, his movements rough and too harsh. “You will get married. Then you will have a child. That child will rule both planets and carry Edelstenne blood. They will know that their grandfather was the one that brought peace and unity to these planets.”

“You don’t want peace,” I snapped.

“Oh, but I do. Maybe I’m the only one who understands what it takes to get it. If there happens to be a side effect of encouraging trade between our planets, which I will of course take credit for and use as an excuse to remain in power, that would be wonderful.”

I laughed under my breath incredulously. “They wouldn’t possibly force out the Emperor if he was the father to the queen that would unite them all.”

My father’s smile was sickening. “Exactly. See, you are not cut from a different cloth. I know the daughter I raised.”

I’d spent my entire life trying not to turn into my father’s daughter, only to have that become my defining feature. What I’d always be remembered by.

“If you would say goodbye to your mother before you depart, that would be appreciated.” And with that, I was dismissed.

I walked out of his office numbly, stumbling through the halls without any rhyme or reason before I somehow ended back at my bedroom door.

Soren was standing there waiting for me.

My knees almost gave out when I saw the open, if not excited, look on his face as he saw me approach, none the wiser of the death sentence I held in my hand.

It only took him a moment to register my distress, causing him to run up to me and grab my face in his large, comforting hands.

Hands I didn’t think I was supposed to relish in anymore.

“What happened?” he cursed out, he and the Bond already pressing for the source of my anguish.

My breath was shaky. How was I possibly supposed to tell him? Drawing on a reserved well of strength, I whispered, “The Prince’s proposal. He asked for my hand in marriage in exchange for reserving an assault on the Bridge and Vir. My father accepted.”

Soren stepped back, his hands dropping from my face.

My heart broke right then and there.

“And you?” he asked, his voice hollow and cold.

That was the horrible truth. I had to tell him that I had accepted too, even if under duress. “What was I going to do?”

Soren’s head dropped to the floor, breaking eye contact. I stood there, my face contorting in pain as I waited for his response.

It could have been seconds or minutes or hours before he finally responded, “I will die before I let you marry him.”

I jerked back at the force of his voice, and at the words too. He’d never alluded to controlling me. “ Let me ?”

Soren finally looked at me, as if he needed to see if my expression matched the venom in my tone. Whatever he saw on my face caused him to forcefully tamper his tone, breathing deep before he spoke again. “Yes, let you. You don’t want this. My only priority is protecting what you want.” The forced softness in his voice was even more heartbreaking than the rough command.

He was right. I didn’t want this. Even then, I shook my head, feeling my eyebrows crease together in pain. “I don’t think what I want matters that much in the grand scheme of things.”

Not when I seemed to be burdened with the responsibility of ending this war. It was horribly, deeply unfair. That didn’t mean I could do anything about it. If it was between my happiness and innocent life … it would be my happiness on the line.

Soren got even more exacerbated by my answer, his face going red with anger. “Yes it does.”

While my heart wanted to warm at his defense of my happiness, that only made this all the more painful. “What I want is peace. What I want is for the draft to stop. I don’t want anyone else to have to die from this. So yes, if that means marrying the Prince, I’ll do it.”

I didn’t find any pride in agreeing to this. This wasn’t some hero’s sacrifice that would let me slip into the afterlife with a sense of pride. This was a painful, heartbreaking reality that I couldn’t escape without damning the entire planet with me.

I could understand that this was the right thing to do and still hate every second of it.

Especially when this situation caused Soren to look at me with anguish in his eyes and ask, “And where does that leave me?”

Panic rose so quickly I couldn’t tamper it down. “I don’t know!” I all but cried, feeling like I was in an impossible situation, hurting someone no matter what I did. I wanted Soren. It was plain and simple. Exhaustion hit me as I asked, “Why am I supposed to have all the answers?”

Soren sighed heavily and I watched as he reached for me, then pulled his hand back to his side.

Why did he do that? I like it when he touches us, the Bond said, confused on what was happening. It was too simple to understand this, only motivated by what it wanted, not what it was allowed to have.

“You’re—” Soren began, then restarted, “You don’t have to. I’m not expecting you to. But I can’t pretend like I’m okay with this. Like I could possibly be okay watching you marry someone else.”

An image flashed suddenly, of Soren standing off to the side in the shadows while I pledged my life and loyalty to someone else. “It would be in name only,” I rushed out, needing to reassure him. He was the only person I wanted. The only person I could ever want. “My soul is—”

“Don’t,” Soren said, cutting me off by sliding his hand over my mouth. He stared right into my eyes as he said, “Don’t say that. If this happens, I can’t know that.”

His hand slipped from my face, the touch too intense for both of us. He took two measured steps back and it sent the Bond thrashing at the notion he was about to walk away from us.

I followed him, restraining a full sprint that ended with launching myself into his arms. “Soren—”

He shook his head, stopping me in my tracks. “I need a second.”

Another three steps back, putting even more distance between us. “Please don’t leave me,” I begged, uncaring how much anguish was in my tone.

Two more steps. “This whole conversation has been me asking you to do the same.” My knees felt weak, my body about to give out as it realized how real this was. Soren was walking away from me, not a full day after we’d finally given into each other. “I understand,” he said, and a dark part of me hoped he didn’t, that he would steal me away so I couldn’t do this to us. “I understand that this needs to happen, that I need to step aside to make this happen. But it’s painful enough right now. It can’t go any further between us. I can’t let this take more from us than it already has.”

I forced myself to stay where I was, even though all I wanted to do was collapse in his arms. He was right, the more this progressed, the more likely it was that the inevitable separation would drive one of us insane.

I couldn’t ask him to stay with me after. It would be too cruel to both of us.

So, I made my self nod. I made myself restrain tears. I made myself watch as Soren took one last look at me before he turned and left me alone, when all I’d ever wanted was for us to be together.