A Dream of Fate & Flesh (Courts of Malice #2)

46. Together, We Are More

forty-six

Together, We Are More

Alessia

T he land reacts almost instantly to the sacrifices, coming alive after a prolonged period of dormancy. Each shadow-spirit gracefully merges with its designated tree, resulting in an immediate eruption of blossoms. As the new life surges through Shyga, and the spirits cross over, the swamp dries up. The fog rolls out, giving way to sunshine.

Vitality bursts through the land as the court wakes from its long slumber.

It’s similar to the sunrise spreading its gentle light across the land, chasing away lingering shadows. Ironically, this land is home to those shadows, and they will never be entirely banished.

I could cry at the sight before me, at what it represents.

“Is now a bad time?” a feminine voice says, disrupting the serene scene.

I whirl around. Seraphina stands there, her hands bound with a white cord, with Ezamae at her back. Her ordinarily soft features are twisted into anger. Her gaze flicks behind me to where the black roses bloom from a pool of blood, then back to my face.

Before she can speak, I dive for the dagger and clutch it in front of me in a warning .

Seraphina sighs, raising her bound hands. “You won’t harm someone who is unarmed and unable to defend themselves. Violence isn’t your thing.”

With my lips pressed together, I fight the urge to recoil at the memory of the violent acts I just committed.

“You’re wrong,” I say flatly, lifting the blade. “Don’t underestimate me again.”

She holds my gaze, chewing her lip nervously. She swallows and glares at Ezamae.

“I thought you explained things,” she hisses.

“There’s nothing to explain. You killed Eoin,” I growl. “You tried to kill me .”

“I see how you might think that.” She glances at Ez again, who groans.

“Alessia,” he starts, “Seraphina never meant to—”

“Don’t you dare defend her,” I hiss, shooting him a glare. He shrugs, eyes shining like moonlight. “ Why would you bring her here—now?”

He opens his mouth and then closes it again. He glances at Rainer, who watches with a scowl, leaning against a gnarled tree with his ankles crossed and his hands in his pockets.

"What?" Rainer spits. "Address her —not me."

Ezamae's lips tighten as he swings his gaze back to me. “It's a show of good faith. I would like to prove I am not your enemy.”

“By turning on your friend ?” I gesture to Seraphina. “That’s not a good look.”

“By finding her and bringing her here so we could explain things, yes,” he says. “I am attempting to prove my loyalty to you, Alessia.”

“But why?”

“Because,” he says, cocking his head. “When this is over, I need your help with something in return.”

And there it is. The admission makes me feel nothing because I’d expected it all along.

I grit my teeth. “You helped me, so now I’ll owe you.”

“No,” Ezamae says softly. “You owe me nothing, but I would like to ask for your help as a friend.”

The enormity of those few simple words—rather than a deal or threat—nearly knock me off balance. It’s then I feel my body softening, my fight deflating.

“We can talk about it later,” I say, willing to hear him out.

“It was an accident,” Seraphina blurts, interrupting us.

I glance from her to Rainer, blinking in shock. He shifts, untucking his hands from his pocket and kicking off the tree, and joins me at my side.

I turn back to Seraphina, the muscles in my face tense. “You don’t accidentally poison someone to death.”

“The potion wasn’t meant to kill,” she whispers. “It was only meant to neutralize magic.”

“That’s why he couldn’t heal himself,” I surmise. I glare at Seraphina. It doesn’t change the outcome, and it sure as hell doesn’t change her intention. “ I was your intended target?”

Ezamae’s features pinch together as he rubs his forehead.

I point at him. “And you knew?”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t know until…” He glances at the overcast sky, tongue in cheek, as he rocks on his heels. “About two hours ago? ”

“Then you turned on me like a rabid banshee!” Seraphina lifts her foot and slams her heel down on his toes. He yelps, sending a gust of wind into her face. After it subsides, she coughs, catching her breath.

“After everything I’ve done for you !” she yells.

“You betrayed me,” he says flatly, crossing his arms. “Your meddling got in the way.”

“It was loyalty for you, you stinkin’ arse!”

“Misguided loyalty,” he amends, adjusting his collar and giving her an unimpressed look. “You should’ve spoken to me first.”

“You know why I didn’t.” Her glare is sharp enough to cut through the thick tension between them.

“You could’ve killed me!” I roar. “You did kill Eoin,” my voice breaks and I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, trying to stay level headed. “He didn’t deserve that.”

Rainer’s fingers gently skim my arm, a tender reassurance that he’s with me.

When I reopen my eyes, I study Ezamae and Seraphina, trying to figure out what angle they’re playing at. It’s mentally exhausting to try to figure out whose intentions are honest and who is betraying whom.

All fae play the game well, looking out for themselves first.

Who can I trust?

It’d be easy to separate from them and their melodramatics, except I’m staying in Avylon to run a court. I’m unfamiliar with the ruling, but something tells me that alliances could be handy.

I need friends. I want friends.

At the very least, I don’t want enemies. This needs to be sorted.

“Ezamae,” I ask, “Did you set me up?”

“Not with Seraphina.” He clears his throat. “The queen’s situation is different. I—” He tries to speak but frowns when nothing comes out. “I had no choice, although I’ve explained this.”

I glance at Rainer to gauge his reaction to all this. His relaxed expression slips into something sharp as he stares at the sorceress. “You tried to steal Alessia's power.”

“Not steal.” Seraphina sighs again as if our questions are a nuisance. “ Drain .”

“Same thing.” Rainer’s tone is low in warning. “If Eoin wasn’t there, Alessia would’ve…” He snarls and steps forward.

I place a hand on his arm. “It’s okay.”

“It is not okay, Alessia,” he snaps. “She’s lucky she's still standing here, with her heart still in her chest.”

His protective tone wraps around me, giving me an extra sense of safety and comfort.

I keep my hand on his arm, gripping tighter as I stare up at him. “You’re right. It’s not okay, but let me fight this battle myself.”

We hold each other’s gazes for a few beats. He finally gives me a sharp nod, relenting. His body doesn’t soften, but he does take a step back. His glower locks onto Seraphina.

My stomach flutters at knowing he would snap her neck if I asked him to. The thought excites me and terrifies me simultaneously, and I force it out of my mind.

I’m not one to react or lash out—I can’t start now. Especially not with this dark anger coursing through me, desperate to feed on the violence.

After calming down, I stride over to Seraphina, meeting her face-to-face. I focus on keeping my voice steady and my head up. “What was your intent?”

“To stifle your power so the queen dies.” Seraphina’s eyes hold a hard glint. “Ezamae told me who you were before you arrived.”

My brows flick up. I glance at Ezamae. “So that’s where you went when you left us? To visit Sera and set this up?”

“No. I truly did need to recharge my windwalking quite a bit.” He bites down a grin, but it melts away when he meets my eyes. “I had not a thing to do with her poisoning you. I truly believed I could trust her.”

“You could, and you can,” she growls. “This is all a stupid, inconvenient miscommunication.” She gives me a pleading look and says, “Alessia—you must believe me. You know me.”

I shake my head. “No, I only thought I did, Sera.”

Speaking of miscommunications, I have my own issues I want to work out with Rainer. I'd rather address that than listen to this nonsense.

I rub my forehead, trying to figure out how this makes sense. I’m so mentally exhausted that it doesn’t, no matter how I look at it.

“I thought I was helping.” She frowns, the hardness softening into a defeat I recognize. “I never wanted to hurt you. The Terra Prince was not supposed to be killed—no one was! I suppose I was a little heavy-handed with the dosage—”

“No.” Squeezing my eyes shut, I shake my head. “I can’t accept that as an explanation.”

“No one was ever meant to be hurt, you have to believe me.”

“It doesn’t bring Eoin back,” I whisper, letting her hear the truth of the heartbreak in my words. “All he wanted to do was save me, and he wouldn’t have needed to if you hadn’t interfered.”

A tear streaks down her face, but she makes no move to wipe it away. Instead, she inclines her head and holds my gaze .

“Yvanthia has ruled for too long—she’s oppressive and dangerous. She needs to go.” She glances at Ezamae. “I knew the queen needed your magic, and I figured that draining it would fix everything.” She tightens her jaw and looks up before meeting my eyes again. “Without your power, the queen would die as she’s meant to. We’d all be free .”

Seraphina sucks in a sharp breath. “Your initial cluelessness to your truth absolved my guilt. The reward was worth the risk, and I thought you might never know what happened.”

“If you had succeeded, we’d all be prematurely tucked into our deathbeds,” Rainer growls. “The realm needed a Lírshadow to return to Spiritus Court—to their magic. Alessia saved us all—not just Yvanthia.”

Seraphina’s face scrunches and she averts her gaze. “I didn’t know,” she whispers. “Why didn’t you tell me, Ez?”

“I couldn’t.” Ezamae huffs, inspecting his nails. “The queen…” He waves a hand through the air, as if telling us to fill in the blanks.

“Has some form of glamour over you,” Rainer mutters. “You couldn’t share what you knew.”

Ezamae’s brows fly up, and he gives Rainer a big smile. “Ah, finally. Someone who gets it.”

“I thought I was freeing Ez from her servitude,” Seraphina’s voice is quiet, regretful. She turns to him. “You’d make a better ruler, Ez. I thought I was setting you up for that.”

“My purpose will come in time, Sera,” he says softly, giving her a sad smile.

I thought he had already ruled a court. He was evasive when I asked why he switched places with his brother to serve as the queen’s windwhisperer. Why would he step down from that ?

Unless… he was trying to ascend higher, take the queen’s throne, and he failed. Just like I aim to gather information about those around me, perhaps Ezamae was doing the same with the queen, sticking close, learning her from the inside before usurping her.

“You tried to overthrow Yvanthia,” I say, making sense of it all.

Ezamae’s silver eyes widen as they land on me. “No.” He cocks his head, but he winks.

Of course he can’t admit it.

“You’re being vague again… you can’t say it, can you? How you ended up there?”

He smiles sadly.

“You’re smarter than I first thought,” Seraphina tells me. I frown at the sideways comment. “He switched places with his brother, Hamraaz, thinking the queen wouldn’t notice. Oh, she did. And now, unlike Hamraaz, Ezamae works for free. Bound to the queen for eternity like a slave.”

I study her. “That’s why you went to such extremes to try and stop me.”

It was the perfect opportunity she saw to free him—let Yvanthia die, and he would have his freedom again. But she didn’t know everything because Ezamae couldn’t tell her. The mystery and vagueness are because he’s glamoured and prevented from sharing.

“Can we take these off now?” Seraphina holds up her arms. “Seriously, I’m not a threat to you. You were never my enemy.”

“What was with the fires then?” I narrow my eyes, not ready to accept her innocent act.

She tilts her head back to the sky with a sigh. “ I hadn’t realized you had already made it to Yvanthia by then,” she says. “It was my last, desperate attempt to flush you out and stop you.”

“ Kill me that time?”

She has the decency to look embarrassed. “No. I was going to—does it really matter? I didn't want to hurt you, and even if I did, at the time, I thought it was a small sacrifice for my friend’s freedom. For the betterment of the realm.”

Her shoulders soften, and she glances at Ezamae, then at me. She bites her lip as if debating whether to speak. Finally, she asks, “Wouldn’t you do anything to free the one you love, too?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ezamae stiffen. But I consider her words.

My heart squeezes. It’s not hard to understand where she’s coming from. I’ve seen how despicable Yvanthia is first hand—I would do anything to free Rainer from the queen’s bond. If that’s how Seraphina feels about Ezamae…

I glance at Rainer, reaching out to squeeze his hand. “I would do much worse than poison someone if it meant freeing him,” I admit.

Rainer squeezes my hand back, caressing my palm with his thumb.

“See?” Seraphina says, and I turn back to her. “It was never vicious—never personal. I’d burn the world if it meant freeing my…" She coughs awkwardly. " Friends .”

Ezamae scratches the back of his neck, glancing up at the sky. Color lines his cheeks.

Once upon a time, I would’ve been shocked at the admission that she would kill so callously to get what she wants. But considering I just killed two people for a motive not too far off from Seraphina’s, I get it.

I could try to justify my actions and claim they’re more righteous than hers—that the lord and lady deserved it—but it doesn’t wash the blood from my hands.

I understand Ezamae and Seraphina, their betrayals, even their worst actions.

Sympathy floods me, giving me a sense of fullness instead of emptiness. Perhaps I’ll regret this later, but Seraphina is right.

She’s a threat , my shadow-self says from deep within. Protect yourself .

“I am protecting myself,” I murmur.

I’m protecting my humanity —whatever remains, at least. I’m saving my heart, my soul, my morality. I’m refusing to let the merge with my shadow-self ruin me.

Closing my eyes, I focus on the shadow deep within me. I silence the voice, call it up, and focus on sending the darkness toward Seraphina. I picture the dark tendrils wrapping around her bindings and snapping them free.

There's a resistance at first, as if the darkness anchors itself within me. It grips my bones, reluctant to loosen. But with a bit of focus, I tug it loose and send it outward. A rip rings through the air, followed by a gasp. When I open my eyes, I catch my shadows retreating from Seraphina. The white rope hangs loosely around her red wrists. She rubs them, eyeing me warily.

Ezamae swallows nervously. But Rainer wears a proud grin that brings out his precious dimple.

My heart beats faster, thrilled at the new skill .

“Try anything, and I’ll use my shadow on you,” I warn. It’s a bluff. It’s a miracle I’ve been able to use them at all, and I’m still testing the limitations. For all I know, I don’t have control over my shadow-self.

But that is something I’ll figure out quietly before sharing.

Seraphina nods appeasingly.

Rainer leans down, murmuring in my ear, “That was quite the show. How exhausted are you?”

“Not at all.” I take inventory. “I feel… good.”

The males glance at each other. “Take it easy until we learn the limitations of your power and what the balance is.”

“There’s always a balance,” Ez says, a curious look on his face. “Always a price, always a bargain.”

If I’m not mistaken, he sounds almost… irritated.

“We’ll find a way to free you from the queen’s hold,” I tell him. “I’m inclined to agree with Seraphina. You’ll make a fine leader.” Finer than Yvanthia, surely. “But no one can kill the queen," I warn, voice hardening. "I won't let that happen."

“If it were that easy, it’d be done by now,” Seraphina says.

I sneak a glance at Rainer, his expression unreadable. If Yvanthia dies, he dies. The weight of the thought rests on me, making me feel more compassionate toward him. His choice not to solidify our soul-bond is entirely for my protection. He not only would have deprived me of that choice had he slept with me, but it would also have meant that if Yvanthia dies, and he does, I would, too.

Right?

He spared me.

Something else hits me, and I tilt my head toward Ezamae. “You’re bonded to Yvanthia? In the same way Rainer is?”

Ezamae grimaces, and the sorrow shining in his eyes speaks the truth.

“If he is,” I say to Seraphina, “had you succeeded, you would’ve killed him , too.”

I stare her down, letting the seriousness of my words sink in. When her eyes widen and her lips part, I know they’ve hit the mark.

“Ez,” she whispers, her watery eyes locking onto him.

He shifts, stuffing his hands in his pockets and refusing to look at her.

“I didn’t know,” she whispers. “I made a mistake. I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.” She gives me a pleading look. “You as well.”

With a heavy sigh, I take in the fae around me, my new court, and the woods beyond, and an idea strikes. If Seraphina has the ability to make an elixir that drains magic, perhaps she can create something to drain the magic in the woods. Then, Raienr and I could move freely between our courts. He would be absolved of his guilt. I glance at Rainer, give him a tender smile, and then face the sorceress.

“Help us lift the curse on the woods,” I say. “Then we can call it even.”

Her mouth drops into an O. “There’s no way I can possibly do that.”

“Your little concoction worked well enough to eradicate Eoin’s power.” I swallow the thickness that forms in my throat when I think of his suffering in those last few minutes. “It’s a safe assumption to think we could do the same in the Cursed Wood—muting Rainer’s fearcaller power.” I don’t mention that it’s Sennah’s power, too. I’ll protect her secret. “Whatever you made, we’re going to make that on a large scale and use it in the woods.”

She opens her mouth, but I cut her off. “ After you learn to manage the dosage properly.”

“The woods are vast,” she says. “There’s no way we could cover everywhere the curse touches.”

“If you want to live, you’ll figure it out,” I say. It’s a bluff, but she doesn’t need to know that. “You owe me.”

A strangled noise comes from her, and she gives me a surprised look. “Told you—you are one of us,” she says, then a small smile blossoms.

“Admit it,” I say, trying to avoid the word deal for fear of messing it up and worsening the situation. “Say you owe me.”

“Fine.” She sighs, glancing at the ground. “I owe you, Alessia.”

It’s the closest to an apology I’ll get. It sends a small bolt of satisfaction through me, but it’s not nearly enough to earn my forgiveness after what happened to Eoin.

Rainer straightens, and I turn to him. A light sparks in his eyes.

“Sennah can use her elemental power to turn the liquid into rain,” he says. “If we can get her to help…” His gaze flicks to Seraphina, then back to me.

“I can help, too,” Ezamae adds, inclining his chin. “I can guide it with my winds.”

Seraphina glances around nervously. “I can’t guarantee anything.”

Rainer glances at me hopefully, the broodiness he typically carries wiped away. He’s been trying to break this curse for so long. He holds the guilt and judgment for the Cursed Wood. This is our best shot, and I’m not giving up so easily .

“What do you need?” I ask.

“Iron,” she says. “Lots of iron.”

“Iron?” My brow scrunches.

“I melt it down and dilute it, mixing it with other ingredients. It’s known to bind to the magic in faerie blood, neutralizing it.” She presses her lips together. “But iron is hard to find in Avylon.”

Ezamae waves a hand toward Rainer. “Melt down those tacky Umbra gates.”

Rainer growls, narrowing his eyes.

Seraphina shakes her head. “We’ll need a lot more than that.”

“Well,” Rainer says, his annoyance giving way to a smirk. "I know where we can get it."

For the first time in as long as I can remember, as I stare at the newly saturated land, I finally feel like everything will be okay. It’s as if a ray of hope has pierced through the darkness, illuminating my path forward.

Every obstacle I overcome only adds to my strength.

The vengeance didn’t break me.

My shadow-side didn’t consume me.

Rainer isn’t a betrayer.

Ezamae isn’t nefarious.

And Sera isn’t a murderer.

Or, perhaps they are all those things, but just like me, a single label doesn’t define us. Our true natures encompass much more than a singular aspect. We aren’t a single identity. And we aren’t alone, either.

Together, we are more .