A Gentleman for Lady Juniper (Clairvoir Castle #6)

Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

J uniper sat at her dressing table, watching through the mirror as Hettie fussed over the last section of her hair, gently securing it with a ribbon. Her dark hair looked quite elegant, thanks to the maid’s deft hands. She tugged lightly on a curl that spiraled above her ear, watching it impressively bounce back into place.

“Hettie, you always work such wonders with my hair. I only wish I had been able to show your handiwork off last evening.” Juniper wrinkled her nose at her reflection. She still sounded as though her nose needed clearing.

Catching cold two days earlier had been awful timing, no matter how mild her symptoms felt at present. The cold had robbed her of a chance to see Jack, and those opportunities were fewer in number than she wished. The late morning light filtering through the window did little to lift her spirits. She pressed a handkerchief to her nose, sniffling softly.

“I’m sorry you missed the ball, my lady,” Hettie said sympathetically, placing the last pin in her hair. “Everyone is sayin’ it was quite the affair.”

Juniper sighed. “I suppose it was for the best. I would hardly want to spend the evening sneezing into a fan and dabbing at a red nose.”

“As you say, my lady. Your rest was important, and you seem much better today.” With that cheerful announcement, Hettie put a stack of clean, folded handkerchiefs on the table. “Best tuck a few of these about your person, my lady.”

Juniper tucked one in her sleeve, another in her reticule, but left the others. She likely wouldn’t stir far from her room today even if she was feeling somewhat better. Still, the ache of disappointment for last evening lingered. She hadn’t wanted to miss the ball, not when Jack would be there. She wondered if he’d noticed her absence. He was likely busy dancing with others. How silly of her, to wish him disappointed when she ought to wish he enjoyed himself, she thought with a pang.

Juniper rose and moved to the little chair beside the fire, where she had left her book. It was a delicious novella from America; her brother-in-law had gifted it to her, promising it had elements of romance, suspense, and the supernatural. A perfect little volume for her stuffy head to enjoy. Yet she had barely sat down in the chair, shawl around her shoulders, when there was a knock at the door. Without waiting for permission, the door swung open to reveal Fiona Frost, her eyes bright with excitement.

“Juniper!” the girl exclaimed, her eyes wide as she hurtled inside the room with the same exuberance she had for everything. “There’s someone here to see you, the man who used to follow us about at the duke’s castle, Mr. Sterling.” Her grin widened. “I said I’d fetch you quick as a wink, but I warned him you were sneezing like a cat with the pepper pot.”

Juniper’s heart leapt in her chest, and for a moment, she forgot the sniffles entirely. “Mr. Sterling is here?” she asked, voice a little faint as her mind raced ahead, wondering what could have brought him to call upon her.

“Yes.” Fiona bounced on her heels. “You know, the guard who didn’t make cross faces at us. The one who was always there, looking after everyone. He’s come to pay a call on you .”

Juniper stood quickly, nearly upsetting the small tray of tea her maid had set on the table by her chair. “Thank you, Fiona,” she said, her pulse quickening. “Hettie, please keep the tea warm. I doubt Mr. Sterling will stay long.”

Hettie raised an amused brow but stepped back with the tea. “As you say, Lady Juniper.”

The heat rising in Juniper’s cheeks had little to do with her cold, and everything to do with the man waiting downstairs. What must she look like?

As she hurried toward the door Fiona followed at her heels, her curious eyes shining. “You look happy,” the girl observed. “Why are you smiling?”

Juniper stifled a nervous laugh, her hand smoothing over the front of her gown. “Why not smile when someone pays a call? It is always a compliment, is it not?”

“I suppose so.” Fiona raised her eyebrows as she followed Juniper out of the room. “It’s odd, though. He used to be just a guard, a footman. Now Teague pays calls on him and you rush out to meet him. I think he must be someone very important now.”

“He was always rather important,” Juniper said, unable to stop the small smile tugging at her lips as they made their way through the house. Her heart raced in anticipation, thoughts swirling through her mind. Why had Jack come? Perhaps he missed me at the ball? Her feet quickened their pace, matching her pulse.

By the time she reached the drawing room her cheeks felt flushed, and she took a moment to collect herself. Juniper’s hand hovered over the door handle for a moment. She smoothed the front of her gown, took one deep breath, and prayed her voice wouldn’t betray the nerves bubbling inside her. With a final glance at Fiona, who was still grinning and skipping along behind her, she opened the door.

Juniper stepped inside the drawing room, leaving the door open behind her, her pulse quickening the moment her gaze settled on Jack. He stood near the window, looking out at the street below, the morning light casting his dark hair with a soft, amber hue and highlighting the sharp angles of his face. He looked handsome—as he always did—and the sight of him made her breath catch in her throat.

And he was here to see her.

Heat filled her heart and spread through her chest as their eyes met, rising up her neck and spreading across her cheeks. Though she had admitted to herself her affection for him had grown every time they met, this was a feeling Juniper hadn’t expected, so sudden and intense, and it left her momentarily rooted to the spot. Her hands gripped the folds of her gown, fingers tightening briefly on the fabric as she tried to calm the flurry of emotions inside her.

This is foolish , she told herself, he’s surely only here as a friend, to ask my opinion on some matter regarding Emily —but her body ignored her rational thoughts, heart thudding in time with her growing feelings.

Jack’s gaze softened when he saw her, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The intensity of their silent exchange, lasting a moment but feeling like much longer, stirred something deep inside her.

Fiona bounced into the room with a grin, her bright eyes darting between them, clearly curious about the unspoken energy between her elder companion and Mr. Sterling.

“I told you I could find her quickly, didn’t I?” she chirped.

“That you did, Miss Frost,” Jack said, nodding deeply to the girl, amusement in his eyes.

Juniper blinked, snapping out of her trance when he looked away, and turned to the girl with a composed smile though her heart still raced. “Thank you, Fiona, for bringing him to my attention so quickly,” she said kindly. “Perhaps you ought to tell your brother that Mr. Sterling is here. I am certain Lord Dunmore would like to see our guest, too.”

Fiona’s eyes widened, and she nodded enthusiastically. “Oh! Of course. I’ll find him straightaway.” She spun around and darted back out the door, her footfalls light and hurried.

She left the door open behind her leaving Juniper alone with Jack, the quiet of the room suddenly far more intimate. She took a breath, pulse still racing, and gave him a soft, but controlled smile. Something…friendly. Nothing that would give away how her thoughts had changed. Yes, she had entertained romantic notions of him in the past because he was handsome and kind, because she admired him, but today it was as though a final barrier had fallen. A barrier that had surrounded her heart, and let her put her thoughts of him purely in the realm of fantasy. The moment it fell, Juniper woke to the reality of her situation.

Juniper was falling in love with Jack Sterling.

Jack took a step forward as though he meant to close the remaining distance between them, but she instinctively raised a hand, suddenly overcome by nerves.

“Please,” she said quickly, gesturing toward a nearby chair. “Sit. I—I’ve kept you standing long enough.”

Jack hesitated briefly before nodding and taking the seat she indicated. He moved with that same unhurried steadiness she had come to expect from him, but for some reason, today, it made her heart quicken all over again. She turned away slightly, walking to her own chair near the hearth, her movements less assured than usual.

Why am I so nervous? she wondered, though the answer was all too clear.

Her feelings for him had crept up on her slowly, like a tide rising. She’d told herself she was aware of the coming water, that it wasn’t anything she need concern herself with. But now, faced with the reality of him sitting there, mere feet away, the depth of those feelings hit her all at once and she was cut off from the shore, from sanity, surrounded by nothing but the waters of affection. She couldn’t stop the flutter in her stomach or the way her hands trembled slightly as she adjusted her shawl.

This is absurd, she told herself. He only sees me as a friend.

But then she sneezed. It was not a quick, delicate sound either. The noise rushed from her and she barely had time to cover her face with her shawl and turn away from him. The fearful, crashing sneeze broke the silence and startled her out of her racing thoughts.

“Bless you,” Jack said, his voice warm and low. He leaned forward slightly in his chair, watching her with that steady gaze of his. To his credit, he neither seemed repelled nor amused by the outburst. “You are still feeling unwell?”

Juniper sniffled softly and pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve with what she hoped was a graceful flourish. “Oh, truly it is nothing,” she said lightly, dabbing at her nose as though she frequently sneezed violently before gentleman callers. “Merely the remnants of a cold that refuses to leave me. I am determined to outlast it.”

Jack’s lips curved slightly, but the concern in his eyes remained. “Are you certain you should be out of bed?”

She laughed softly, waving a dismissive hand. “If I stayed in bed every time I sneezed, I would never see daylight. Besides, I would much rather be up and about than missing any more balls. Or visitors, for that matter.” She gave him a pointed look, trying to deflect the conversation with a bit of humor.

“My family missed yours at the ball last evening. Emily and my sisters-in-law send their wishes for your good health.”

“That is kind. I truly was sorry to miss seeing them.” That they missed her was immensely gratifying. That he had come to speak to her in person, however, left her wanting to ask if he had missed her in particular.

Of course, no lady would ever ask such a bold question of a gentleman.

“You look somewhat puzzled, my lady,” Jack said, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“Oh—forgive me. I am merely ruing that I had to miss the ball at all. I hope you will return my good wishes to your family. Was it an enjoyable evening? Did everything go well for Emily?”

“I believe Emily enjoyed herself.” His expression grew more serious, his brows drawing together. “However, there is a reason I came to see you today.”

Juniper’s heart skipped a beat at his change in tone. She sat up a little straighter, her fingers tightening around the handkerchief in her lap. A reason?

For a fleeting, ridiculous moment, her mind raced ahead to impossibilities, conjuring daring hopes. Could he—? No. Surely not. But what if he was here to speak to her about something more personal? What if—what if he was going to?—

“I wanted to talk to you about something that happened at the ball last night,” Jack said, his voice pulling her back to reality with an unpleasant jolt.

The foolish, irrational hope which had briefly bloomed in her chest wilted instantly. He wasn’t going to ask about courtship; of course he wanted to speak about the ball.

Juniper forced a smile, trying to hide her disappointment, and nodded for him to continue.

“There were...rumors,” Jack said, his tone careful. “Unpleasant ones. People were speaking about my family and not kindly. It felt as though half the room stared at us, weighing us in a way they have not since our arrival in Town.”

Juniper frowned, the lightness in the air vanishing completely with her concern. “What do you mean? ”

“They were calling us upstarts, gossiping about how we don’t belong in Society,” Jack explained, his voice low but steady. “Gossiping openly. Questioning why we are being welcomed by certain families.”

Juniper felt her chest tighten with a mix of anger and frustration. She had overheard some of this gossip herself, and she had even tried to warn him of it. But Jack being confronted with it—hearing how deeply it affected him—made her heart ache for him.

“Jack, that is awful,” she whispered, her earlier nerves forgotten as her concern for him took over. “I trust it was not worse than what I overheard.”

Jack ran a hand through his hair, fingers catching briefly in the strands as he looked across at Juniper. She was so lovely, sitting there with her hands delicately folded, her expression a mix of sympathy and concern. That soft warmth in her eyes—a tenderness which never seemed to waver, no matter the situation—made his heart twist painfully in his chest. She was everything gentle and kind, and he ached with the desire to reach out to her, to take comfort in the simple act of holding her hand.

What would she think of me if I told her how much this gossip is weighing on me?

Jack wasn’t supposed to be the type of man who let idle whispers shake him; yet here he was, feeling the weight of every cruel gaze and unkind word spoken the night before…words he hadn’t realized would burrow so deep. His family had come so far—farther than they ever imagined—but it seemed Society would never approve of or forget how they began.

His gaze flickered to Juniper’s hands, so small and delicate in her lap, and before he could stop himself he reached out, gently taking her hand in his. Her skin was warm against his, and for a brief moment, the connection between them chased away the shadows of doubt gnawing at him.

“Juniper.” He spoke quietly, voice low. “The gossip at the charity meeting. I need to know—what was it that you overheard? Perhaps if I know exactly what others are saying, I can find the root of the problem. Perhaps there is something I can do to alleviate the worst of it.”

Her lips parted slightly, the hesitation tangible in her eyes. She didn’t want to hurt him, he knew that. But he needed the truth, however jarring.

“It was nothing worth repeating,” she said softly, her free hand clutching at the handkerchief in her lap. “I did not think... I did not want to bring it up in the first place, but?—”

“Please,” Jack urged gently, his thumb brushing over her knuckles as he held her hand, so small and delicate compared to his own. “I need to know.”

Juniper looked down at their joined hands for a moment, as though gathering her thoughts. When she spoke again, her voice was soft, almost hesitant. “They said you, all of you, were playing at being noble. That you and your family don’t belong. Some of them suggested that you only hold your place in Society because the Duke of Montfort put you there. And...” Her gentle voice faltered.

Jack’s heart grew heavier with each word. His grip on her hand tightened ever so slightly, and he felt her return his grip. Playing at being noble. He had heard that before but hearing it now, from Juniper’s lips, stung in a way he had not expected.

“And?” he asked, his voice lower than before.

Her voice was so soft, he could barely catch it. “They implied you might know something scandalous about the Duke, and that is why he helped you. That as his former servant, you had seen something or learned something to give you power over him. That you were perhaps using his influence to rise higher than the sudden change of rank would allow.”

Jack sat back in his chair, releasing her hand with reluctance as a cold wave of self-doubt washed over him. His pulse pounded in his ears. He’d known there would be whispers about his family, but this ? Did people truly think so little of him? That he would betray the man who had given him so much?

He rubbed the back of his neck, frowning deeply. “Of course people would think that,” he muttered, more to himself than to Juniper. “My family knows no one in London, yet we are invited everywhere. I have no title, no land of my own yet here I am, in the middle of the ton , trying to pretend I belong.” His hands fell to his lap, his fingers curling into fists. Juniper started to say something, but Jack shook his head. “It is not just the gossip, Juniper. I look at everything we have been given, and I wonder…did we really earn it? Would we have been welcomed anywhere at all without His Grace’s generosity?”

His eyes met hers again, and the pain within must have been clear in his expression, given the sudden sympathy in her own.

Jack sighed heavily. “Sometimes I wonder if they are right. We may have inherited a family title, but it is not one any of us were prepared for. Perhaps…perhaps we ought to have remained quietly tucked in the countryside until we could raise ourselves to the expectations that come with my father becoming an earl. We are only here because of His Grace. Without his name attached to ours, we would not be worth a second glance.”

“That is not the least bit true.” The adamant tone of Juniper’s voice caught him by surprise. “Jack, all of you are so lovely—I like your family. Your parents are warm and kind, your brothers are polite and obviously care for the rest of you a great deal, your sisters-in-law are clever, Emily is an absolute angel, and you?— ”

Juniper’s fingers twitched, as though she wanted to reach for him, but she appeared to fight the instinct.

Jack’s heart ached in response. “Me?” That he dared ask her to continue was a mark of his severe lapse in decorum.

Her cheeks flushed a lovely shade of pink that put him in mind of the soft sunlight at dawn. How many mornings during his life had he risen before the sun and watched a cloudy sky turn that rosy shade, and counted himself lucky to be alive to see it?

“You,” she repeated the single word, meeting his gaze a moment before lowering her own to her lap, where she twisted the handkerchief in her hands. “You are a good man, Jack. One of the best I have ever met.”

She drew him to her as a fresh spring would draw in a man dying of thirst. How many things could he liken to her presence? He was not a poet, but a soldier at heart yet being near her, he thought of springs and sunrises.

At the moment of his doubt came the revelation: that he did not want to build his future plans around her merely because he liked her, nor because she was so lovely and kind. He wanted to set her at the center of his future because his heart belonged more to her now than it did to him.

And yet….

How could he ever be worthy of her? Someone so bright, so lovely, deserved a man of true standing—one who didn’t owe his position to a happenstance of birth and the charity of others.

He wanted to say more, to ask her if she thought the same, but the words caught in his throat. Instead he shook his head slightly, forcing a smile to his stiff lips. “I apologize, I should not burden you with this. You have already been kind enough to take my sister under your wing.”

As Jack looked at her the need for comfort returned, stronger now. He wanted nothing more than to take Juniper’s hand again, to feel the warmth of her touch and know, merely for a moment, that she did not think less of him. But he could not bring himself to reach out. Not again. He had already pushed beyond the boundaries of politeness by taking her hand the first time.

Her expression had changed, falling into something rather somber, as he struggled against his wants and the rules of appropriate behavior.

“You wanted to know all I heard,” she said, still looking at her lap. “As I said before…there was mention of Emily.”

He sat straighter, pushing away his own selfish thoughts. He was here for his family; for Emily. He needed to concentrate on that, not his fruitless longing for the woman seated so near him.

“What was said about my sister?” he breathed.

Juniper’s gaze met his, her brow furrowed. “They said she was seen ‘with all manner of gentlemen,’ but that she spurned them when they grew serious in their attentions. Obviously you and I know this is not at all true. But where would such a rumor come from?”

It was an ugly rumor which would make gentlemen hesitate to be seen with Emily; if such a thing circulated widely, it would explain why Emily had not gained many dance partners the evening before. No man would wish to be seen with her and counted the next victim of a fickle nature or a woman on the hunt for an advantageous match.

Before he could ask for her opinion on the matter, the Irish lilt of Lord Dunmore broke through the tension of the room. “Ah, Sterling. Welcome to our home, as always. I apologize for the delay in greeting you properly, but I had to see my sister back to her governess in person else she may have slipped away again. But then, you know all about her skills at escaping the schoolroom.” He grinned broadly as Jack rose and bowed to him.

“Miss Frost and Lord James were quite the challenge when it came to keeping them under the watchful eye of their attendants,” he said with a solemn nod. Though he doubted Dunmore meant for his words to remind Jack of his former place, he felt the mark of his past position keenly. A guard disguised as a footman, he had watched and protected people of rank—he had not been one of them.

He may never truly fit in among them, either, and such a man as he had no claim on Lady Juniper’s heart.

“To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?” Dunmore asked, sitting near his sister-in-law with a crooked smile. “Fiona said you asked for Juniper and me. Is anything amiss? Or perhaps you come with a particular request to put to both of us?”

A jolt of surprise coursed through Jack. He knew instantly what Dunmore meant. Juniper, her mind sharp, obviously took in his meaning too given the widening of her eyes.

Dunmore thought Jack had come to ask for a courtship.

Perhaps he had not been as subtle in his wants as he wished. Jack would have been amused had he not felt a prick of regret in his heart at that moment.

Juniper on the other hand sneezed again, then fixed her brother-in-law with a glare.

Jack hastily put that line of thought aside. “I have no requests to make, I merely wished to pay my family’s respects to yours and wish Lady Juniper on her way to full health.” He kept his posture soldier-stiff. Control, that was what was needed, and until he had control over the situation with Emily, self-control would have to suffice. “I have been tasked with asking if your family will be attending the Italian ball at Bell’s Hotel.”

“We would not miss it for anything,” the Irish baron said with a wide grin. “Atella himself would not think a thing of it, but his contessa would rain terror upon us if we were absent that evening.”

“Oh, Teague.” Juniper huffed and a small smile returned to her lips. “Emma would never.”

“She would,” Dunmore insisted. “So we dare not miss it, and we look forward to seeing your family there, Sterling. It will be an enjoyable evening.”

Hopefully Jack’s family would experience such a thing. With unkind rumors and gossip circulating about them, his uncertainty over the idea lingered. He changed the subject, keeping his tone all politeness. “Is there any word on the health of your sister? Lady Farleigh and the entirety of His Grace’s family remain at Clairvoir, do they not?”

“They do, but we expect to have word of a safe delivery quite soon,” the proud Irishman said, though Jack did not miss the flash of worry in his eyes. Dunmore’s sister had wed Lord Farleigh, the Duke of Montfort’s heir, and was to deliver the next member of the ducal family this month. His Grace had not come to Parliament, a thing unheard of since the births of his own children, and most of the immediate family remained near the castle in support of the expectant mother.

“I look forward to offering my congratulations after the happy event comes to pass,” Jack said, the words formal even if his tone was quite sincere. As far as he was concerned, the Duke of Montfort and all connected to him were worthy of the best of things. With the lightness returned to the room, he rose to take his leave. “For now, I must be on my way and allow you to continue about your day.”

Dunmore and Juniper both rose, and Jack tried not to believe the look of disappointment he saw on both their faces. He had imagined it, surely.

“You are always welcome here,” Dunmore said as he bowed. “And we look forward to seeing you and your family at the ball.”

“Thank you. Good day to you both, Lady Juniper. Lord Dunmore.” After his final bow he left quickly, resisting the urge to look over his shoulder as he exited through the doorway.

He needed to put aside his feelings for Lady Juniper Amberton, a lady whose heart he was not worthy to hold. Her family, connected as they were to the best of the land, would surely not wish for a match with the youngest son of an upstart family. He had much better turn his attention back to his own kin, and their situation. They needed him. And he had rumors to sort out and dispel, if at all possible. Thinking of Lady Juniper, a woman above his touch, would distract him from that purpose which he could not allow…no matter how pleasant thoughts of her had become.