A Gentleman for Lady Juniper (Clairvoir Castle #6)

Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

U pon her usual chair in the sitting room, her hands holding a book in her lap, Juniper couldn’t stop her fingers from toying with the edge of the pages. She wasn’t reading it, of course. She couldn’t. Her thoughts were far from the shadows of the old estate in the story, nearly as far from the quiet room where her sisters and the Dowager Baroness Dunmore sat, each absorbed in their own pursuits. Instead, her mind was tangled in knots of worry—worry for the Sterling family and for Jack.

She glanced up at Ivy, sitting nearby with a volume of sonnets in her lap, her lips moving slightly as she read to herself. Betony, ever the industrious one, was absorbed in her beadwork, her needle moving with practiced precision as she embellished the hem of a gown with beautiful embroidery. Across the room Ivy’s mother-in-law sat by the fire, the soft rustle of the pamphlet she read the only sound breaking the silence. They had all taken to calling her Máthair, as her children did. The Irish honorific for ‘mother’ suited her, even though the Amberton sisters were related by Ivy’s marriage only.

Everything was in the room itself was calm, peaceful—yet Juniper’s heart fluttered anxiously in her chest, and she had to tug her thoughts out of the snarl of concern and confusion in her mind.

What is wrong with me? she wondered, her fingers brushing absently over the smooth fabric of her gown. She had tried to push thoughts of Jack—she could no longer consider him Mr. Sterling—from her mind, but it was impossible. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him: sitting before her, his hand warm in hers, his voice low and filled with doubt. He had been so vulnerable when he visited three days before, so unsure of his family’s welcome in the world. It had broken something in her to see him like that.

How could anyone think him or his family unworthy of notice and honor?

“You are very quiet, Juniper,” Ivy’s voice broke through her thoughts, light and teasing. “Your cold is long gone. What is troubling you?”

Juniper blinked at her older sister, startled by the question. “Oh, nothing,” she lied quickly, offering her sister a weak smile. “I am merely thinking.”

“Thinking?” Ivy’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “That sounds dangerous.”

Betony, not bothering looking up from her work, giggled. “About time you noticed something is amiss, Ivy. Perhaps you will have better luck than I at getting an explanation from her.”

Juniper felt her cheeks warm. How could she ever tell her sisters about the turmoil Jack Sterling stirred in her heart? How could she explain the weight of her concern for him and his family, or the way her heart and mind quickened whenever she thought of his hand brushing against hers?

Before she could respond Máthair spoke, her tone calm and measured as always, her Irish accent beautifully genteel. “Whatever it is that preoccupies you, Juniper,” she said, folding her pamphlet neatly in her lap, “remember this: life is too short to worry over things that may never come to pass. Best to face your thoughts head-on. Who better to help you face them than those that love you most?”

“Quite true.” Ivy closed her book on her finger. “I am always here to listen to your thoughts, Juniper.”

“As am I,” Betony said, carefully putting her needle in the cloth of her gown. “No matter how ridiculous they are.”

Juniper looked from one woman to the next, finding all three of them with sincere smiles, waiting for her to speak. Silently giving encouragement with their eyes and expressions. Face your thoughts head-on, Máthair had said. Very well.

She sat back in her chair, her mind still spinning with worry and doubt, but beneath it all, something else took root: an idea, a resolution. She had spent days caught in her own head, worrying over things she could not control—Jack’s family, her feelings for him—but perhaps it was time to do more than simply worry.

Perhaps it was time to stop avoiding what was truly on her mind.

Juniper sat in silence for a moment, staring down at the book in her lap as she bit her lip. The warmth and support in the room wrapped around her like a blanket, but still, her heart fluttered nervously. How could she possibly admit it out loud? Where could she even start?

“I have been thinking,” she began, her voice quieter than usual, her fingers still toying with the edges of the book. “About someone.”

Betony’s eyes lit up immediately, her smile widening as if she had been waiting for this exact moment. “Oh, have you indeed?” she teased, setting her beadwork aside with a knowing glint in her eye. “I believe I know of whom you speak—but perhaps you had better clarify who this ‘someone’ is for Ivy and Máthair’s sake?”

Juniper bit her lip, her cheeks flushing, but she didn’t look up. “A gentleman,” she said softly, feeling the weight of their expectant gazes upon her. “Of our acquaintance.”

Ivy, ever perceptive, leaned forward slightly with her book now completely closed in her lap. “It sounds rather serious, dear,” she said, her tone gentle but encouraging. “Why not tell us who it is?”

Juniper’s heart raced, her throat tightening. She could feel her sister’s curiosity, and even Máthair’s quiet, knowing gaze from across the room.

How could she admit it? Saying his name aloud would make everything real—more real than she had ever allowed herself to imagine.

Betony moved closer, her hand touching Ivy’s arm. “You might as well say his name, Juniper. I know exactly who you are talking about, and I feel certain it will not hurt things in the slightest for the others to know.”

Juniper’s head snapped up, her eyes wide with surprise. “Truly?”

Her younger sister laughed lightly, folding her hands neatly in her lap. “Of course not. Besides, I think at least Ivy has her suspicions. Do you not, Ivy? It is quite obvious, is it not? There is only one gentleman who has made Juniper fidget like this.” She gave Juniper an encouraging nod, her smile softening. “Go on, say his name. It is just us.”

Juniper hesitated, her heart pounding. Her gaze flickered between her sisters and Máthair, all of them watching her with such kindness, still she couldn’t bring herself to say Jack’s name aloud. Not yet. “I don’t know if I should.”

Ivy leaned forward at that, her expression gentle. “Juniper, darling,” she said softly, “you don’t have to tell us if you are not ready. But sometimes, admitting something to yourself is the first step to making sense of your feelings. We are your family. All three of us are here for you, no matter what.”

The tenderness in Ivy’s voice made something inside Juniper relax. She knew her sisters wanted what was best for her, and even Máthair—though reserved—seemed quietly supportive. They were not here to judge her or laugh. They were offering to listen.

Her chest tightened with emotion, and she drew in a breath, trying to steady her racing thoughts. “It is Jack Sterling,” she finally whispered, her voice so soft she wasn’t sure if they would hear her. But the moment she said his name, an odd sense of relief soared through her, as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders.

She looked up, meeting Ivy’s eyes.

Her older sister smiled warmly, no surprise in her expression. “I thought as much,” she said gently. “Mr. John Sterling is a good man.”

Betony, who had been grinning broadly, clapped her hands together softly. “Oh, Juniper, this is wonderful. I am relieved I no longer have to keep this secret with you. It has been torture.”

Juniper smiled weakly, her cheeks still flushed. “I was not quite sure how to talk about it—or if I should.”

Máthair, who had remained silent throughout the exchange, finally spoke up, her voice serene. “You have done well, child. Feelings of the heart can be the most confusing things of all. But now that you’ve spoken them aloud, perhaps you can begin to make sense of what is in your heart.” She offered a small, approving nod. “And I believe your Mr. Sterling is worthy of such thoughts, given what I know of him.”

Juniper’s heart swelled at the sound of his name spoken so kindly. Perhaps she wasn’t being foolish after all. The relief in admitting her feelings felt like the first step toward something new—something hopeful.

Her chest still felt tight, her heart pounding now she had spoken Jack’s name aloud, but instead of the awkwardness she had feared there was only warmth in the room—understanding, even a sense of quiet joy from her sisters. Yet with that small relief came a new wave of doubt.

“I have no idea if he feels the same,” she admitted quietly, her fingers twisting the handkerchief in her lap. The vulnerability in her voice surprised her, but once she started, the words kept tumbling out. “Though we have shared moments that felt particularly warm, I do not know if I am imagining things. And I am afraid to hope for more, because...” She let the thought remain unspoken, unsure how to encapsulate her flickering thoughts.

Betony’s expression softened, her teasing smile fading. “Because…you do not want to get your hopes up only to be disappointed?”

Juniper nodded, looking down at her hands again. “Exactly. What if I have misunderstood everything? What if he does not at all feel the same way? Perhaps he sees me as nothing more than a friend to him, or perhaps not even that—only as a friend to Lady Emily.”

Ivy leaned forward, her voice as soothing as ever. “Oh, Juniper, it is not strange to hope for something like this. You are certainly not foolish for wanting to believe there could be something between you.”

Betony nodded in agreement. “Hoping for love—there is nothing wrong with that. Love is what we all want, truly.”

Máthair had been quietly listening and wore a thoughtful expression. “Hope is never foolish, child,” she said, her voice calm. “Hope is the seed from which the greatest joys and even the deepest loves grow. It would be stranger still if you were to shut yourself off from that hope, to deny yourself all possibility of happiness.”

Juniper blinked, absorbing those words. The way Máthair spoke made it sound so simple, yet her doubts continued to assail her. “What if his feelings are not the same? What if I have misread everything? ”

Ivy’s smile was perhaps a little knowing, but was full of sisterly affection. “That is the risk we all take when we let ourselves fall in love. But from what I have observed, Jack Sterling is a man who cares for you, deeply. Even without knowing for certain, there is no harm in hoping for a future where he feels the same.”

Betony leaned closer, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “And really, Juniper, why wouldn’t he adore you? You are lovely, kind, you have always admired him. It is not at all strange for you to hope for something more. I would think it quite natural.”

Juniper looked between her sisters, the weight of their reassurances sinking in. Could it be true? Could she dare to hope that Jack might see her the way she was beginning to see him? The thought sent a flutter through her chest, a tangle of fear and anticipation.

“Perhaps,” she whispered, more to herself than anyone else. “I think he must at least like me. A little.”

Máthair’s kind smile preceded her reassurances. “You ought to build on that, dear. And then, o’course, you know Teague is quite ready to give his blessing to the man, do you not?”

Juniper’s cheeks warmed and she put her hands on them to cover the blush. “Oh, no—Teague told you about that?”

Ivy laughed. “He told me about it, too. He was terribly disappointed he did not have the opportunity to interrogate Mr. Sterling as to his intentions toward you. I think he is looking forward to that moment far too much.”

The other two women laughed, and Juniper’s own smile twitched upward again. Her family loved her, supported her, and they liked Jack. Jack, who she adored. Admired. Loved .

For the first time in days, Juniper allowed herself to hold on to that feeling. Perhaps it was new and fragile, but it was hers, and she was not ready to let go of it any time soon.

Despite the comfort of her sisters’ words and Máthair’s reassurance, a small knot of anxiety remained tight in Juniper’s chest. Her thoughts drifted back to the things she had overheard at the charity meeting—the cruel remarks about Jack’s family, the insinuations which still stung to remember. She bit her lip, her gaze lowering to the book in her lap, and that familiar unease crept back into her heart. She could not ignore it all.

“There is more at hand to concern me—more than my own feelings,” she confessed softly, breaking the brief silence which had fallen over the room. “People are saying such unkind things about the Sterlings. They think his family is undeserving of their place in Society.” She glanced at Ivy and Betony, her voice dropping to a near whisper. “What if the gossip turns vicious? What if it affects them in ways they cannot overcome?”

The room grew silent for a while, each woman pondering in her own way. Juniper’s lungs tightened—there were no instant words of comfort here, the challenge insurmountable if the ton truly did take against the Sterlings. What could anyone do against such a tide of opinion?

Ivy’s brow furrowed with concern. “People can be very unkind when they do not understand something—or when they feel threatened by it.”

“Or when they are simply too bored with their own lives that they must go poking about in someone else’s,” Betony added, a touch of anger coloring her tone. “Trying to stir up scandal where there is none, that’s scandalous in itself!”

Juniper grimaced as she nodded. “I know,” she whispered. “I wish there was something I could do to protect them.”

“I am all too familiar with the ton ’s attempts to keep out those they deem unworthy.” Máthair set her pamphlet aside, her expression one of sympathy. “Sometimes the best way to protect those you care for is simply to stand by them, openly and without hesitation. The truth has a way of revealing itself in time, and those who matter will come to see the Sterlings for who they are. ”

Máthair’s words did not quite dismiss her concern, though a flicker of something came to life deep within her. The worry still lingered, stubborn as ever. She would have to find a way to do more than simply stand by—she had to think of something that would truly help Jack’s family navigate the treacherous paths of Society.

Uncertainty gnawed at the edges of her hope; but hope remained.