A Merry Little Christmas

Chapter 6

Merry

‘Your personal chauffeur has arrived, Madame ,’ said Cole, pushing a wheelchair into the ward the following day.

‘I’m not getting in that,’ Merry exclaimed in horror. ‘I’m pregnant, not an invalid.’

He brought it to a halt beside her bed and gave her a kiss. ‘Humour me, ma cherie , it’s miles to the car. Also, it will be quicker this way. I’ve left the kids in the car, and I’ve got twenty minutes tops before war breaks out.’

This afternoon had dragged. She’d hoped to be out of here just after lunch, but they’d wanted to check her blood pressure and the baby’s heartbeat one last time before she was released. She’d finally called him to collect her at four o’clock; an hour had gone by since then. She’d been packed, dressed and lying on her bed desperate to leave for ages.

‘I can walk fast,’ Merry argued, which anyone with a brain cell could see was a lie. She’d waddled before her waters had broken; now she’d developed a habit of walking with her legs pinched together as if sheer willpower would keep the baby from making a bid for freedom. She’d never felt more ungainly in her life.

‘You are getting in that.’ Nurse Liz, who’d spent two days with Merry and knew that only a firm manner would do, took Merry’s arm and helped her into the chair. ‘We’d very much like you to leave the premises without further incident, if it’s all the same to you.’

‘Thank you, Liz,’ said Cole with obvious relief.

Merry had to bite her tongue to stop herself from getting snappy with him. She was fine! All this fuss was beginning to get on her nerves. OK, she did feel light-headed standing up after being in bed for so long, but all the more reason to get up and moving again. Still, she was on her way home and that was the main thing. At long last, life could start getting back to normal.

‘Thank you for looking after me.’ Merry was so delighted to be finally let out of the ward that she was tempted to give her nurse a hug. ‘See you on the twenty-eighth.’

‘Remember: essential jobs only,’ Liz wagged her finger, ‘or we’ll be seeing you a lot sooner than that.’

‘I’ll make sure she gets plenty of rest,’ Cole promised, wrangling Merry’s laptop bag off her.

‘I can manage that,’ Merry retorted. ‘It’s not even heavy.’

‘On second thoughts,’ Cole said with a wry smile, ‘can you keep her in for a bit longer please?’

‘Oi.’ Merry shoved her husband’s arm playfully. ‘Don’t give her any ideas.’

‘Good luck,’ said the nurse, to Cole. ‘You’re going to need it. And, Merry, just for the next few weeks, take every offer of help going. You’ve got a legitimate reason to be lazy and let everyone run around after you. Make the most of it.’

Merry forced a smile. No thank you. The thought of having to rely on other people to do things for her was not a happy one. Far quicker to do it herself. She’d be careful though; she wasn’t stupid. And she really didn’t want the baby to come any earlier than her induction date.

‘I must ring Springwood House and see how Dad is,’ she said with a pang of guilt once they were in the lift and on their way down to the ground floor of the hospital. ‘I’ve been so preoccupied with my waters breaking that I’ve completely neglected him.’

‘Ray’s no better, but he’s no worse either,’ Cole told her. ‘I called and checked.’

She craned over her shoulder to smile at him. ‘That was kind of you, thank you.’

‘The manager said he’s been seen by a doctor and given the all-clear, so nothing much to report, but he’s very tired and needs lots of rest.’

Merry nodded. ‘Best thing for him.’

‘And for you,’ Cole pointed out.

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah.’ She was quiet for a moment as she mentally ran through her to-do list. ‘Gosh, I haven’t even told Emily that he’s ill.’

‘It’s OK, I’ve spoken to her. So she knows about Ray. And you.’

‘Cole!’ She gritted her teeth. ‘Now she’ll be worried. I was trying to avoid that.’

‘For future reference,’ he said smoothly, ‘if I’m ever admitted into hospital, please let my family know rather than keep it to yourself. They love me and would feel hurt if they later found out I’d been ill and they hadn’t been given the chance to look after me.’

‘Darling, of course I’d tell them,’ Merry replied, hurt that he’d even suggest such a thing.

‘Indeed.’ He cleared his throat pointedly.

‘Oh. Yes, I see what you mean,’ she said contritely. ‘I’m sorry. I just don’t want to be a nuisance.’

He squeezed her shoulder. ‘You could never be that.’ He paused. ‘Unless, of course, you decide to ignore the doctor’s advice and end up back in here again.’

The lift doors opened, and Cole steered her out towards the main exit.

‘Emily asked if you’d send her a message tonight and let her know how you’re feeling.’

‘I will, I promise.’

A blast of cold air hit her as the automatic doors opened. It was refreshing after the stifling heat and stuffiness of the ward and Merry inhaled contentedly.

‘I am so glad to be out of there. Now I can get cracking on everything that needs to be finished off before the baby comes.’

‘Whoah.’ The wheelchair stopped abruptly, and Cole squatted down in front of her, taking her hand. ‘Merry, we could easily be coming out of hospital as parents of a newborn baby, and—’

She shuddered. ‘I know!’

Cole looked at her quizzically. ‘Did you just shudder? Darling, what’s going on?’

‘Yes, but I don’t mean …’ Her face flooded with heat, and she felt flustered all of a sudden. What had she meant? ‘Obviously I’m looking forward to the baby coming.’

He waited, still clearly unsure what was on her mind.

‘But we wouldn’t want it to be here yet, would we?’ she continued. January, when the baby was actually due, would have been perfect. But certainly not before Christmas, not when everything was still up in the air.

His face softened and he kissed her hand. ‘No, of course not. Much safer for the baby to arrive when it’s full-term, without possible health risks.’

‘Exactly.’ Merry looked down at her lap feeling bad that she hadn’t said that herself.

‘We’d better get back to the car,’ he said, starting to push the wheelchair again. ‘The kids will be getting anxious.’

Ten minutes later, Cole had returned the wheelchair to the hospital and was loading her things into the boot of the car while Freya and Harley gave her a gentle hug.

‘Dad said the baby could come at any moment,’ said Harley, glancing nervously at her bump.

‘In theory,’ Merry told him. ‘But I think it’s comfy where it is for now. Here, feel this.’

Harley offered up his hand and Merry placed it on her side, where the baby’s heel was quite easy to detect.

‘Yuk. Does that hurt?’ he said, recoiling.

She laughed at the look on his face. ‘Not really.’

Freya had a feel too. ‘It’s moving, like it’s dancing about. A girl! Maybe we’re going to have a sister, Harley!’

‘Oh goodie, another one,’ he replied flatly, making Merry smile.

‘Boys can dance,’ said Merry. ‘And at the Christmas lights switch-on, you thought I was having a boy, remember?’

Freya flung her arms around her. ‘I’m so sorry about knocking into you. I cried when I got home because I thought it was my fault that you had to go to hospital.’

‘Oh, sweetpea.’ Merry kissed her head, shifting a little so Freya wasn’t pressing quite so hard on her stomach. ‘It wasn’t your fault, I promise.’

She blew out a breath. ‘Phew.’

‘But Mum did say you had to be gentle with her,’ Harley pointed out and hopped into the front seat before his sister could get there.

‘Harley!’ Freya tugged his arm. ‘It’s my turn.’

‘Oi, you two, stop fighting, and, Merry, why aren’t you in the car!’ said Cole.

‘We’ve been feeling the baby,’ Freya told him. ‘It’s moving.’

His eyes widened. ‘Really? Is everything OK?’

‘Yes, Cole, please stop fussing,’ Merry said, wishing he’d just relax.

She clambered into the back seat where she could stretch out beside Freya.

‘Has the water definitely stopped leaking out now?’ Freya eyed her dubiously, squashing herself up beside the opposite door just in case.

‘I hope so.’

‘But from now on, Merry has to be super careful to make sure the baby stays safe,’ Cole told his daughter. ‘We don’t want her or the baby getting ill.’

It wasn’t the actual words, but more the tone, which made her hackles rise, as if somehow it was her fault that her waters had broken in the first place.

‘I’ve been super careful ever since I found out I was expecting our baby,’ she said in a clipped voice. ‘And I have no intention of doing anything to jeopardise that now.’

Cole laughed softly as he started the car and drove up to the car park barrier. ‘Apart from organising four Christmas candle-making workshops to run while you’re eight months pregnant and packing the house up ready to move and—’

Merry let out a noise which could only be described as a deep growl. ‘It’s my livelihood, and I’m packing because you promised we’d be in before the baby came, remember? And I don’t see you slowing down, Mr Fly Off to Germany at the Drop of a Hat.’

Harley whistled under his breath. ‘She’s got a point, Dad.’

‘Ha,’ Merry folded her arms, realising as she did so that she was being very immature.

‘But I’m not the one carrying the baby, am I?’ Cole caught her eye in the rear-view mirror and gave her a knowing look.

‘And don’t I know it!’ she retorted, turning away.

‘Let’s talk about this when we get home,’ he said nervously.

They never argued, ever, but if they did need to talk about something sensitive, they’d avoid doing it in front of the children, all too aware that anything they said might get repeated to Lydia, Cole’s ex-wife.

‘Uh-oh,’ said Freya. ‘She’s turning into Momzilla. That’s like Bridezilla, but for mums.’

Harley spluttered with laughter and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Cole was trying to smother a smile too.

Merry focused on the traffic as they whizzed through the dark streets back towards Wetherley. She hated feeling out of sorts like this. She was ashamed of herself for her outburst, particularly in front of the kids. She hated being helpless and breathless and being blamed for her waters breaking early. She hated feeling like she should apologise for everything. And, worst of all, having these thoughts was confirming her darkest fears about herself. She knew nothing about motherhood, why would she? While other girls had watched and learned from their mums from an early age, she’d been shunted from house to house, children’s home to children’s home, after her own mother hadn’t loved her enough to stay alive.

Merry was going to make a terrible mother; she just knew it. How could she be anything else?