A Miracle for the Confident Cowboy (Love in Sweet Bloom)

Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Duke dragged a hand down his face as he sat in the same booth he’d been in when he first met Sophie. She was currently in the bathroom, leaving him alone with his dismal thoughts. Just a week ago, he’d been on cloud nine. While he’d still felt guilty about not being with his family, he’d found happiness in the relationship he had with Sophie.

She had been a boon to those guilt-ridden thoughts. She’d brought him back to a place where he thought anything was possible. He’d even started considering taking a year off from working for the Duncans so he could help out his family with a few things they struggled with.

Then that incident at the festival happened and suddenly everything started crumbling.

At least that was how it felt.

He settled back in his seat and heaved a sigh. Gus going missing had made his life feel a bit out of control. He hadn’t been in to the shelter to volunteer since that afternoon—mostly because he was spending his spare time looking for the best cat in the world.

Maybe it was time to face facts. Gus was probably gone.

Sophie had insisted that he needed to get his mind off of his missing cat and regroup. Initially, he’d been irritated with such a suggestion, but the exhaustion of looking for his pet in all the same places was starting to wear on him.

Duke glanced toward the bathroom. It wasn’t only the scene at the festival and his missing cat. He could tell Sophie was working through something. She was probably trying to figure out a way to tell him she wanted to see other people—but with Gus missing, she didn’t want to give him bad news right now. He wasn’t really sure what was on her mind, but something was off.

That thought had come to him last night. He’d been alone in his bed, trying to come up with some ideas on how to find his cat when suddenly he was hit over the head with the thought that Sophie was done with him.

The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. What woman wanted to be with a guy who couldn’t let go of his aging pet? He’d grown up on a farm, he knew that there was a circle of life that had to be accepted. Heck, that understanding had followed him to the ranch where he worked now.

So why couldn’t he just let go of that darn cat?

Because Gus was the one creature who had been with him through it all. He was the one who knew when Duke needed comfort and when to keep to himself. They were a pair. Partners. Friends, even.

Duke worked his jaw. He definitely didn’t feel like himself lately and all he wanted was to get back to that place where he looked forward to what was coming next.

Sophie settled down in her seat across from him and smiled, but it wasn’t as genuine as it used to be. He could tell the slightest difference and right now, she was hiding something. Duke didn’t know if he wanted her to tell him what was going on or if he wanted her to leave things the way they were until she had the courage to talk to him.

She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. “You know he’s going to be okay, right?”

He shook his head. “I think it’s about time I accept he’s gone.”

Sophie shook her head. “Don’t give up yet. He’s out there. He’s being stubborn. Cat’s do that, you know? It’s one of the reasons I like dogs.” Her tone was teasing. She was trying—that said something, right? If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t be trying to pull him out of the hole he’d put himself in.

Duke frowned. There was the matter of her body language when it came to those quiet moments, though. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was going to happen—something bad.

He looked away, unwilling or unable to meet her gaze when he knew in his gut that things would be getting worse. If it wasn’t with Sophie, it was with Gus. Or maybe it was just the clouds that had moved in. It didn’t rain. There was no moisture forecasted, but the clouds still did a good job at blocking out all the sun and that seemed to have a direct effect on his mood.

“Come on.” Sophie stood and he stared up at her with surprise then down at the table at their mostly empty plates.

“I haven’t paid the tab?—”

“I did.”

His expression soured. He wasn’t against her paying for their meals, but it didn’t quite sit right with him. His father had raised him to be a gentleman and that meant paying for dinner when he was out on a date with a woman.

She rolled her eyes. “I know . You don’t like it when I do that. But to be fair, I asked you out tonight.” Sophie shrugged then pulled him to his feet. “So I paid. Besides, I got the friends and family discount. Pippa insisted.” She tugged Duke out of the booth. “So come on. You promised we’d go ice skating tonight.”

He forced a smile, letting Sophie hold his hand and squeezing it back. This was one thing he needed to be grateful for. Sophie still offered a bright spot in his life right now. And after the holidays were over, perhaps everything would settle down again.

When Sophie pulled him in a direction that wasn’t going to lead to the rink, he slowed his steps, causing their arms to go taut. Sophie shot him a frown. “You okay?”

He thumbed in the opposite direction. “Isn’t the rink over there?”

“Yes,” she drawled with a laugh. “But we’re going to take the scenic route.”

“By going in the wrong direction?” Even though his heart was aching, there was a part of him that wanted to shove the guilt and pain aside so he could live in the moment with her. One corner of his mouth lifted as he waited for her to explain.

Sophie tugged on him harder. “We’re going to make a wish.”

“Oh.” He hadn’t known what she had in mind for their scenic route, but visiting the wishing well wasn’t part of it. “Sophie,” he sighed, “I know you’re trying to help, but?—”

“Humor me, okay?” She tugged on him once again and he shuffled forward.

“I thought you didn’t believe in all of this stuff.”

She shrugged, but didn’t say another word until they were standing before the ancient landmark. Releasing his hand, she dug hers in her pocket and retrieved a shiny quarter.

“Aren’t you supposed to wish with a penny?” he drawled.

Sophie shot him a look before she rolled her eyes. “I don’t think it matters what you wish with. What matters is where your heart is.” And with that, she tossed the coin into the well. “I wish that we’ll find Gus and he’ll be okay.”

His stomach knotted at her wish. She could have said anything—anything at all—and he wouldn’t have been affected. But she’d picked Gus. Warring emotions fought to come out on top. One side of his heart wanted to pull Sophie into his arms and thank her for her thoughtfulness. That side of him was the one that insisted he’d done everything he could and the outcome was in God’s hands.

On the other side was the more logical version. It was the side that whispered how he’d abandoned his family to run their farm, so what did he expect? Now he was the one being abandoned. It scoffed at the optimistic version of himself that continued to fight an uphill battle of guilt and not feeling worthy to be in Sophie’s life.

Unfortunately, the latter seemed to be winning a lot lately. “It’s not going to work,” Duke sighed. “Thanks for the thought, but?—”

Sophie took both of his hands in hers. “Gus is probably fine. It’s like I said. Cats are resilient. They have an instinct?—”

“Gus was raised to be an indoor cat. He barely had to learn how to use the litter box. And now he’s a senior. He’s not going to be fine. It’s been over a week and no one has seen him. He’s probably already been eaten by some wild animal.” Duke’s quiet, and yet harsh voice tumbled from his lips without permission.

“Duke—”

He huffed. “No. I’ve been grieving all week. I don’t need to hear that you think he’ll come home. What I need right now is for you to just understand what I’m going through and let me figure things out.”

She didn’t speak, prompting him to look in her direction. She frowned. Pain flittered across her face and she looked away. “You’re right,” she whispered. “I don’t know what you’re going through. I don’t know what I would do if I lost Daisy or if she got away.”

Dang it all!

Now he had more to feel guilty over. He’d pushed her away and all because he couldn’t shake his personal cloud that wouldn’t stop hovering overhead. Duke reached out to her but she side-stepped him. That movement alone hurt more than everything he’d been dealing with in the last week.

Sophie lifted both of her hands and shook her head. “I was trying to help you get your mind off him, but you’re right.” Those two words. She repeated them again, a hint of venom beneath her voice. “People grieve in different ways. Sometimes we need to be with the people we care about so we can forget our pain. Sometimes we need to dwell in it to get it out of our system.” She met his eyes and that was when he noticed it in her eyes. The brief hint of something she wasn’t saying to him.

He'd been so caught up in the issues with his family and his missing pet that he hadn’t noticed she was dealing with something. His heart clenched in his chest and he sought for the words that might be enough to bring her back to him—to convince her that he didn’t want anything to change between them even though he got the distinct feeling that was exactly what was going to happen between them.

“Sophie,” he whispered.

Her smile looked forced. “It’s okay, Duke, really. Maybe tonight was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have pushed you to come out when you clearly aren’t in the mood.”

“It’s not that…” Maybe a small part of him agreed with her statement, but he didn’t want her knowing about it.

“I’ll see you later, Duke. I’m going to head home. Maybe we can get together a little later.”

Maybe . That word could mean so many things depending on the context and the tone in which it was said. Sophie couldn’t have sounded less convinced in the words that came out of her own mouth. But she’d already given him a quick hug and she was hurrying away as if she didn’t want to be in his presence for a second longer.

His pain shifted to anger. He wasn’t angry with Sophie. There was no reason for that. But he sure as heck was furious with himself. What was it about this month that seemed to drag him down to the depths of despair every year? The more he thought about it, the more he had to admit that this wasn’t the first December he’d been down in the dumps.

And it likely wouldn’t be the last.