A Mountain Springs Christmas

Chapter 11

eleven

RACHEL

Rachel stared at the two-page magazine spread that she’d been working on, knowing that something was wrong with it but not being able to focus enough to figure it out. She finally gave up and swiveled in her chair to face Lucy.

“I said yes to being spontaneous on Friday.”

Lucy was quick to stop trying new fonts for the image she was working on and turn her full attention to Rachel. “What? You did not.”

“I totally did. Remember on Friday how I told you that Aiden and I were going to have a present-wrapping party and then I hoped he’d fall asleep quickly so I could wrap his?”

Lucy nodded.

“Nick called just as I was leaving work to say that he’d finished with the last project in his new house and wanted to move in on Saturday, so he asked if we could meet to finish that fireplace for Aiden’s school program on Friday.”

“Based on how distracted you’ve seemed all day, I’m guessing it went well?”

She hadn’t realized she’d been distracted enough for others to notice. She had to get her head in the game… After this conversation. She definitely needed to get it all out first. “As much as I had joked about it with Nick that night, it was actually hard! I don’t love last-minute plan changes.”

“But?”

“But my need to see him very much outweighed my desire to have things scheduled.”

“Oh, I wish Court wasn’t out of the office today—she would be so freaking proud of you right now, she’d probably have tears in her eyes! Okay, knowing Court, she probably wouldn’t. She’d just act all businesslike and give you a ‘good job’ nod. But I have tears in my eyes! This is exactly the kind of thing we were hoping for when we made that bet with you.”

Rachel folded her arms. “So, really, the entire bet was so that I would be spontaneous and change my Friday night plans to spend time with a guy?”

Lucy shrugged a shoulder. “Basically.”

Rachel chuckled, shaking her head. She should’ve known.

“So things are going well?”

“Yeah. I really like him.” She paused a moment, trying to decide if she wanted to share even though she knew she was going to, whether she offered it on her own or she waited for Lucy to ask. “We kissed.”

“And?”

Rachel took a long, slow breath before answering. “I didn’t know that kissing him could be so great. Before experiencing Nick’s kisses, my brain couldn’t even imagine it could be so incredible.”

Lucy fanned her face with her hand.

“He was just so sweet! He kissed me like I was so…” She waved her hands, trying to find the words. “Important. Cherished. Like he was simultaneously trying to treat me with such great care, yet completely taking my breath away. The whole night was just the kind that you know you’ll remember for the rest of your life.” She could hear the longing in her voice, the craving to be near him. Yet, she also felt the uncertainty, and Lucy picked right up on it.

She cocked her head. “Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?”

Rachel picked up a pen from her desk and started playing with it. “I don’t know. It’s all just too much. I feel like Aiden and I are busy every second of the day. Relationships just take a lot of time—especially new relationships.”

“But it’s a good way to spend time, right?”

“It’s the best.” She sighed just thinking about it. “I told him a couple of weeks ago that my mom used to leave Dove chocolates on my pillow for me and that doves at Christmastime, especially, are special to me. Even though he’s been crazy busy all weekend getting moved into his new house, I got to work this morning and when I passed by reception, Shelly said a man dropped something off for me. It was a package of Dove chocolates with a note from Nick that said he hopes I have a peaceful week. How thoughtful is that?”

Rachel leaned back in her chair and looked up toward the ceiling. “We’ve been staying up late every night talking on the phone for hours after both of our kids have gone to bed. Sometimes he’ll just text in the middle of the day to let me know that he’s thinking of me.” She put her hand over her heart. “It’s the sweetest thing, and it just blows me away to know that someone cares about me that much.”

“Oh! My heart just melted for you!”

“But do you know how little sleep I’ve got lately? We’ve been staying up so late that I completely slept through my alarm this morning.”

“That was why you were late?”

She nodded. “And there’s just so much to do.”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Lucy asked. “Because the busyness isn’t going to be an all-the-time thing. It’s just crazy right now because Christmas is this week and this is our busy time of year at work. It’ll get better.”

Rachel looked down at the pen in her hand and then set it on her desk again. “It isn’t just that. Friday night, we laid a blanket on the floor of Nick’s empty dining room and had dinner sitting down with the kids. I brought cookies—”

“Homemade?”

“Lucy. Remember the part about being busy all the time? No, I didn’t make them. Sugarplum Fairy Bakery did.”

“Mmm. That’s the next best thing.”

“Right? So I got cookies, but we didn’t eat them with dinner and kind of forgot about them. Then, as we were working, Aiden and Holly asked if they could have one. My immediate thought was no—it was way too close to bedtime and Aiden knew not to ask for something sweet that late at night. But in the spirit of the Season of Yes , I would’ve stopped myself before saying no and said yes. But Nick said yes without even thinking about it first.”

“And this is a problem why?”

Rachel blew out a breath, feeling stupid for even bringing it up. “It wasn’t a problem. It just did make me think that as much as I’ve wished over the years that I had a partner in the whole parenting thing and knew how much it would help, it just had somehow not occurred to me that we might not agree on parenting styles and that might be a challenge. The cookie thing wasn’t a big deal at all. But it did make me wonder how many things we might run into that might be a bigger deal.” It was a fear she hadn’t even known she had until Friday night.

“Yeah, I can see how that would be tough.”

“So, I’ll worry about something like that, then bam ! I’ll get the image in my head of Nick carrying each of the kids, all bundled up in blankets, out to each of our cars as the snow fell softly, the moon and the Christmas lights casting a soft glow on them, then getting them all safe and buckled in. And then I’m just left confused and really really wanting him by me, his arms around me, his lips on mine.”

“He carried them out to the car? Oh my goodness, I think my heart just melted again. Completely this time. It’s now just a puddle.”

“But here’s where it gets intense. I had read a book to Aiden and Holly. When I was hugging Aiden goodnight, he was acting like he wanted to tell me something so badly that he couldn’t hold it in. When we were at the Christmas Village a couple of weeks ago, he had a ‘Christmas wish’ that he rolled up and put in the claw of a dove. He said, ‘I want to tell you what I wished for but I can’t say it out loud or it won’t come true. So how about I whisper it in your ear?’ Do you want to know what he wished for? A dad! And, of course, Holly whispered something to Nick at the same time, and then I saw the two kids share a look.”

“Oh, that’s sweet.”

“I don’t know. What if I’m just giving him more false hope than a six-year-old can handle? That’s not fair to him. Or Holly. For all I know, she was whispering about what she wanted for breakfast the next day. But if that look that I saw between them was what I think it was, it was conspiratorial. Maybe Holly wants the same thing—a second parent.”

Lucy was silent for a long moment before she said, “You say you want to get married and that you want Aiden to have a dad. But do you really?”

“I do!”

“With every other guy you’ve started to date, you backed away pretty quickly because you didn’t think he was good enough for Aiden. Now you find this guy who actually is perfect, yet you’re still backing away.”

Rachel ran her hands over her face. “I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m thirty years old, and I’ve never had a long-term relationship.” She shook her head. “Maybe I just can’t handle it.”

“You can handle it.”

But she wasn’t so sure. She didn’t have history on her side.

An air of excitement and anticipation filled the gym as Rachel and Nick found seats where they all had a good view of the stage. Maybe it was because the kids only had two more days of school left before Christmas break, or maybe it was just what happened when dozens of parents of first graders got together to see their little ones performing something they had been working so hard on.

Nick reached out and put his hand on hers, and she nearly moaned, right there in the middle of the crowded gym, it felt so good to feel his touch. To have his warm hand on hers, soft as a caress. She was so far gone for this man that it scared her. She forced herself to pay attention as Miss Goodrich got up and thanked everyone for coming and introduced the program.

Then the curtains opened and everyone clapped. She immediately found Aiden with all the other first graders on the risers, Holly right next to him. His eyes were scanning the crowd and as soon as they landed on her and Nick, he started waving wildly. Holly followed Aiden’s gaze, and she waved, too, although much more restrained.

As she watched them up on stage, singing the first two songs they’d learned, she couldn’t help but think about how much Aiden was falling for Nick, too. As they’d walked into the school, Aiden had held Rachel’s hand and Holly held Nick’s. Then Aiden had reached out with his other hand and took Nick’s free hand, so he was between the two of them. As great as it was, and as much as it had made it feel like they were a little family of four, it freaked her out even more because she could see how much Aiden was getting attached.

When they finished singing the two songs, they started reciting the poem The Night before Christmas and she pulled out her phone to video it. It was impressive that they knew it so well—it was a long poem. Aiden had been practicing it at home so much that she all but had the thing memorized, too.

Then they got to the part where they listed the names of the eight reindeer and a couple of kids started saying the names out of order, which messed up more kids, and soon it was all just a jumble of reindeer names. She chuckled, trying to keep it silent so it wouldn’t be on the video.

Neither she nor Nick, though, managed to keep their chuckling quiet when Aiden got extra enthusiastic with the line “Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all,” making arm motions that Holly was quick to mimic. The poor kid on the other side of Aiden nearly got knocked off the riser in the exuberance.

Then came the line, “Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound,” and the six-year-old who was dressed as Santa took it to mean that he needed to leap through the fireplace opening. The big, stuffed bag that the kid had slung onto his back didn’t quite follow the same trajectory, and it hit the side of the set piece.

The kid yanked the bag at the same time, and as the group said in unison, “He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,” the fireplace started slowly tipping forward and everyone in the audience leaned in their seats, holding their breaths.

As the falling of the fireplace started to pick up speed, the kids on the risers noticed and all the ones on Aiden’s side leaped from their spots and rushed to push it back to standing. Most of the other kids were gasping and pointing, but a handful of kids kept saying the lines of the poem, either oblivious to what was happening or determined to see it through to the end.

They got the fireplace righted and the audience let out a collective breath. The kids were all grinning like they’d singlehandedly saved Christmas.

“Don’t worry, Santa,” Aiden said, loud enough that everyone heard, “we’ve got your back.”

“Ho, ho, ho,” Santa said. “Thank you for saving my life.”

“Does this mean we’ll get extra presents?” A kid called out.

They were down to three kids still reciting the poem, and as they were very determinedly shouting now, “He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.”

Besides the three kids determined to finish the poem, chaos erupted. Some were peeking into Santa’s bag, Santa was strutting around on the stage, the rescuers of the fireplace were giving each other high fives, and one kid was randomly dancing like no one was watching. The audience was howling with laughter as the three first-grade teachers took to the stage, trying to reestablish order.

It was tough holding the camera steady through her laughter. She glanced over at Nick. He was grinning at the whole display. Then he turned to her as the kids finally got back up on the risers and the volume in the room lessened. “What do you think? Should we head out for an after-program ice cream when this is over? I heard that With a Cherry on Top in Nestled Hollow is fantastic.”

She was getting better at allowing spontaneity into her schedule, but it still wasn’t easy. Studies had shown that kids thrived more on a predictable schedule, and she’d veered off her daily, weekly, and monthly schedules all season long. But a week ago, she would’ve said yes anyway, just because of the Season of Yes bet.

But today, that wasn’t her biggest worry. In fact, her mind was chock full of flat-out fears. She was afraid that she was making a wrong choice and that it would impact all four of them. But more than that, it felt like the choices weren’t even all up to her—she was a snowball rolling downhill, picking up size and speed as she went. She couldn’t steer or stop and had no choice but to go along with it. It was all out of her control. Saying yes to everything instead of following her trusty plans didn’t help.

“I don’t think we better,” she whispered back. “We’ve been so busy that Aiden hasn’t been getting enough sleep lately, and I don’t want him having trouble sleeping tonight, since tomorrow is a school day. And the last two days of school before Christmas break are so crazy—I don’t want to add to it.”

Nick nodded. “You’re right.” She didn’t miss the disappointed look on his face, though.

She probably had a disappointed look on her face, too. But as much as part of her wanted to say yes to Nick and not care about schedules, the other part of her was completely freaking out and she didn’t know how to make it stop. Or if she even should.