A Touch of Christmas Magic (Peppermint Hollow #2)

2. Colby Garrison Burke

CHAPTER 2

COLBY GARRISON BURKE

A day after Kai put that stupid idea in my head about going home, I’d nearly gone insane thinking about it.

We’d need to drive. I wasn’t putting a baby on an airplane. Sure, millions of infants had traveled by plane and been fine, but I wasn’t taking a chance of Elsie getting some type of creepin’ crud being blown through the ventilation system.

I maybe didn’t know everything there was to know about parenting, but I knew enough to avoid things that just didn’t feel good for my baby and me. I’d only been a father for four months, but gut instinct had served me well so far and I was proud as hell that Elsie was healthy and meeting every milestone all the books said she should be meeting.

I knew I didn’t have much to do with that, but I still breathed a sigh of relief when checkups went well, and she did something a checklist said she was supposed to.

Shit.

Speaking of checkups, I’d need to find a new pediatrician if we moved.

I thought of the sterile, professional-if-not-welcoming doctor’s office I took Elsie to now.

Yeah, I definitely wasn’t going to miss that place.

Peppermint Hollow had a small family practice, and the larger town up the road was home to the county hospital and other doctors. I had no doubt I could find good care for my baby back home.

Getting there was the biggest negative if I was being honest.

Driving from California back to Peppermint Hollow? It would be a thirty-hour drive, which we obviously wouldn’t be doing all in one go. If it was just me, I could probably do eight to ten hours a day and make the drive in about three days. But I wasn’t going to push it that hard with Elsie in tow. We could drive six or so hours a day and make it a comfortable week-long trip.

Not a trip I’d want to do by myself with Elsie, but if Kai wanted to come help, it wouldn’t be so bad.

My heart had always tugged me back toward my hometown, but I’d spent years and years ignoring that pull. Now though? I wasn’t sure my reasons for leaving were as structurally sound as the reason for going back.

I’d left Peppermint Hollow for a million reasons.

The biggest one being my mom. Trying to outrun the demons she’d left me with. Trying to find the sense of family and happiness I never had as a kid.

Actually, that’s not true. I had family and happiness with the Jacksons. I spent as much time as possible at Kai’s house, soaking up all the goodness. As if it would protect me from the disappointment of my addict mother and my detached father.

My dad and I had something good now , and I’d been strangely relieved when my mom passed away in my early twenties, but my home life as a child had left a lot to be desired.

I hadn’t found what I was looking for in those other places I’d run to. Only the same heartache and unworthiness I’d been trying to escape.

I’d grown a lot in the years since I’d been away from Peppermint Hollow. I knew myself better and I’d worked through some of the demons Mom left me with.

Some of them, not all. I was definitely a work in progress.

The other reason I’d left home was my best friend.

Kai David Jackson.

The most amazing soul I’d ever had the pleasure of knowing.

So, why would I leave him and go chasing after impossible dreams?

Why, indeed?

We made this pact way back at the end of high school. We’d been drinking and wrestling as per our norm that summer—and pretty much every day since we’d met and become fast friends. Tangled up with him on the couch, pausing to catch our breaths, every single impossible hope I’d ever given space to in my brain regarding Kai and me being more than best friends glommed together into a half-baked idea.

The words had spilled out of me before I had time to think them through.

“If we’re still single by the time we’re thirty, let’s get together and give it a shot.”

With his pale skin flushing pink, Kai’s big hazel eyes stared up at me, searching my face, trying to see if I was serious.

Forget the fact I’d secretly wondered about my sexuality—at least where Kai was concerned—for most of our senior year, and maybe even before that. I wasn’t exactly sure when my thoughts had switched from loving Kai as my best bro to still loving him as my best bro but wanting to touch him and be with him in very non-best-bro ways.

I liked girls. I did. But I loved Kai; I was drawn to him in a way that made absolutely no sense. But at the same time, the feelings I had for my best friend were the only things that made sense in my heart.

Instead of high school me letting Kai know right then and there that I maybe kinda wanted to see what things would be like between us, I’d shrugged. “I mean, by the time we’re thirty, we’ll have lived enough life. If we’re single, maybe we just give in to what everyone thinks anyway.”

Lame.

So lame.

Looking back, I wanted to kick my own ass. I should have just told him. We could have given it a shot and become something great.

Or we could have crashed and burned and lost our friendship.

Plus, if I’d told him, I likely wouldn’t have Elsie.

But memories of that day on the couch still haunted me.

Kai swallowed and nodded, shoving his light brown hair from his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Thirty.” Then he’d punched me in the gut. “Not like either of us will be single by then anyway.”

The wrestling had picked back up and life had marched on through the hot, muggy Midwestern summer.

College, setting up CoJack Realty, daily chats, everything was completely normal, just as best friends should be.

We’d only mentioned the pact from time to time over the years. Always as a joke, always as if there was no way we’d ever get to that point.

Always as if neither of us wanted to get to that point.

But I was thirty and single.

A single father . Was there a clause in the pact for that?

Was it fair of me to bring my latent bisexual feelings into the picture? And maybe I was more Kai -sexual than anything. Truly, I could appreciate any hot guy, but the actual attraction to and deep-down feelings for a man only rang true for me with Kai if I was being honest.

So, yeah, it wasn’t fair of me to bring these feelings I’d had for so many years, along with a baby , to Kai’s doorstep.

I’d left Peppermint Hollow to escape my mom and to keep my feelings out of my friendship. If Kai had felt anything for me all these years, he would have brought it up, right? I mean, he talked plenty about guys and girls he found attractive. Told me about dates, bits and pieces about sex—just kill me now—and the eventual breakups.

Did it make me an asshole that I always felt relief when Kai and whatever guy or girl he was dating parted ways? Yeah, probably. I’d moved across the country to follow women I had absolutely no business being with, swearing to my best friend that I loved them, but my heart thrilled each and every time I knew Kai was single again.

Ass.

Hole.

Kai was bisexual. If he’d had even a fraction of the feelings for me that I had for him, he would have told me.

Like you told him?

I shook off the thought.

We’d talked every damn day of our lives since Kindergarten. We’d spent whole days, weeks, months together during the quarter-century-plus we’d known each other. We worked side-by-side day in and day out—whether we were together physically or thousands of miles apart—at CoJack Realty.

I would have known.

Or he would have said something.

And I wasn’t going to fuck up our friendship by admitting my feelings. It was better to pine silently and keep Kai as my best friend than to risk losing him.

I glanced around the apartment I’d called home since moving to California with Sasha. There was absolutely no attachment to the place. Moving home had been the last thing I ever thought I’d do, but the thought of Peppermint Hollow, being close to family and friends, raising Elsie in my hometown, it was all I could think about now.

Elsie finished her bottle, and I moved her to my shoulder to burp her. With any luck, I wouldn’t end up wearing formula or baby poop today. “What do you say, Else? Wanna go meet your grandparents and Uncle Kai?”

A sharp pang gripped my heart. Kai was so much more than Uncle . Sure, we were closer than some brothers, but I wanted him to be more to my baby.

More to me .

Maybe it was crazy, but it was what my soul craved.

I’d need to keep a tight lid on that shit; I wasn’t headed home to fuck things up with my best friend.

Kai’s early-morning call brought a smile to my face. He was as excited about me coming home as I was. “Well? Can I buy my ticket? Are we making a road trip home?”

I glanced to where Elsie slept after a butt-crack-of-dawn bottle. Was there anything for my daughter and me here? Any reason to stay a thousand miles away from my best friend and family? Let my daughter grow up only knowing her family from pictures and video calls and once-a-year trips to visit?

Aside from the conviction of knowing I needed to keep my feelings for Kai secret, there was no real reason for me to stay away from Peppermint Hollow anymore. Several of the demons of my past were still with me, despite running across the country. Working through what my mom left me with could be done just as well—maybe even easier—back home. Allowing my dad and I to continue building the relationship we’d missed out on when I was a kid—and letting him have a second chance to get it right as a grandfather—appealed to the child in my soul who longed for a functional family.

Elsie squirmed, her cute little nose scrunching and a tiny fist flailing. She’d wake soon and I’d be inundated with diapers, bottles, tummy time, and a million work-related things when I got her to nap.

Suddenly, I felt very tired and very alone.

I wanted my best friend.

“Yeah.” My words hitched. “Yeah. Get your ticket.”

“Yes!”

“Kai?”

“Yeah?”

“Hurry.”

Kai hesitated. “You okay, man?”

“Yeah. I just miss you. Want you to meet Elsie. And, now that I’ve decided to do it, I just want to get home.”

“I’m buying my ticket as we speak.”

Three days later, the apartment was empty except for a suitcase, the diaper bag, Elsie’s pack-n-play, boxes of clothing for both of us, the solid oak, handmade kitchen table and chairs I couldn’t stand to part with—I’d bought it when I moved to California because I couldn’t help but think about how much Kai would love it—and my recliner.

I smiled when I looked at the old chair.

Kai and I bought matching recliners in college. Those crap chairs had gotten us through four years, but they’d fallen apart not long after graduation. With our first big paycheck at CoJack Realty, we’d splurged and bought top-of-the-line matching recliners.

The chair had gone with me from Peppermint Hollow to Florida to California. It had become Elsie’s favorite place to rock as I prayed for her to fall asleep. And it was where I felt closest to Kai. Sure, we talked every day. I saw his pretty hazel eyes and killer smile on video calls multiple times a day.

But at the end of a long day, especially when Elsie was super fussy—what was it with babies and that certain chunk of time I’d come to think of as the witching hour ? Or was that just my baby? —I’d sink into that chair with Elsie snuggled against my chest and imagine the soft upholstery was Kai’s arms holding me close.

I was so fucking screwed.

Kai’s flight was on time, and he was in an Uber heading toward me from the airport. I’d told the twin brothers who lived down the hall I’d give them a hundred bucks each if they’d help with loading the U-Haul. Their mom had offered to watch Elsie, but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to let her out of my sight.

So, I kept my daughter cuddled to my chest as I watched out the window. Kai and I had been sharing locations on our phones ever since the feature became a thing. He was supposedly only minutes away.

“Mr. Burke,” Desmond called from down the hall. “We’re here to help.” His brother, Dwayne followed him.

“And I’ll hold that precious baby while you all load the trailer,” their mother, Alicia said with a knowing smile. “I won’t move away from where you can see me, but I think that table will take all four of you to get it out the door.”

Blushing, I gave a nod. “Thanks, appreciate it.”

Alicia smiled. “I remember what it’s like to have a brand-new baby.”

I glanced at the two gangly teen boys and cocked a brow. “Can’t imagine having two; and the teen years?” I pretended to shiver. Elsie was a tiny bundle in my arms. She was barely four months old, had already outgrown her newborn clothes, was over the fiftieth percentile in weight—only the twenty-fifth percentile in height, which made sense because Sasha was very short as was my own mother. No way my little baby would ever be a teen. Or dating. Or driving. Or going off to college.

Oh god.

My heart clenched.

“It goes by in the blink of an eye,” Alicia said with a sympathetic smile. “The good thing is that it also somehow has a way of going at just the right speed. Each new phase is exciting and exhausting and has you so tangled up that you barely have time to think about the phases they’ve outgrown.”

I wanted to build a blanket fort and hide away with Elsie, protecting her and my heart forever.

A sleek black sports car rolled up to the curb out front.

I knew without a doubt that it was Kai because, of course, he’d get an Uber in some fancy-ass car just because he could.

Alicia and her boys became background noise as I beelined it out the door.

Kai was out of the car, a suitcase and duffle on the ground beside him, and a gleam in his eyes that matched the pure gold in his smile.

Oh my god, I loved this man so damn much.

I didn’t know how I was going to live with him and not fall at his feet begging him to touch me, love me. But how I’d survived without him within arm’s reach for all these years was beyond me.

Tears stung my eyes as Kai walked straight into my arms. We’d shared a million hugs in our lifetime, but this one had been too long coming and held a shit-ton of emotion. We laughed into each other’s shoulders, slapping each other’s backs, until we finally just gripped fistfuls of shirt and held on as if the world was ending.

He’d come.

Kai had dropped everything and come here to rescue me.

And that was only one of the million things that made him amazing.

Elsie squirmed and made a snuffling noise against my chest.

“Oh my god, did I hurt her?” Kai’s stricken face was hilarious.

“No, she’s fine. Just grunty when she gets disturbed.”

Kai leaned in and pressed a kiss to the downy-soft hair on Elsie’s head. “Hello, Elsie Mae. Uncle Kai is here and we’re going to be the best of friends.”

My heart nearly clawed its way from my chest right there on the sidewalk.

“I want to hold her so badly,” Kai said, rubbing his hand over her back, “but let’s get everything loaded first. Then I can wash up. I feel gross from the plane.”

I introduced Kai to Alicia, Desmond, and Dwayne before handing a still-sleeping Elsie over to Alicia. She nodded and winked as she tucked the baby close. “I’ll be right here.”

The twins, Kai, and I had the U-Haul loaded in under an hour. Once Kai and I had the U-Haul hooked to my big black Ram 1500 truck, I paid the boys, took Elsie back from Alicia, and thanked them.

“You have my number if you’re ever in the Midwest. Peppermint Hollow isn’t exactly a touristy spot, but you’re always welcome to come visit.” I shook hands with the boys and let Alicia give me a hug.

“Looks like you’ve got yourself a good one there,” she whispered.

I started to pretend like I had no clue what she was talking about. Instead, I glanced at Kai as he hefted his luggage into the truck. “Yeah,” I said. “He’s the best.” For the first time in my life, I was admitting—ever so slightly—to someone other than myself that I had more than friendship feelings for my best friend.

“Don’t let him get away. I lost a true love because I was too stubborn and full of pride to admit my love.” She watched her boys as they headed back inside. “I don’t regret what I had with their father, but Leanna was something special and my heart hurts every day that I lost her because I couldn’t see what was right in front of me.”

I nodded; my throat too choked with emotion to speak. And then she turned and followed her boys. I had a feeling Alicia was one of those people who come into your life right when you most need them; her words hit me deep.

“Show me the soap,” Kai crowed. “I’ve got a baby to hold.”

I’d left one towel, soap, shampoo, and clothes out of my packing for Kai—knowing the man for as many years as I had, I knew he wouldn’t have thought to bring clothes to change into after a shower. “There’s underwear, sweats, and a t-shirt on the sink.” We’d shared clothes so much through the years, I sometimes wondered if we ever actually knew who owned what. Luckily, we wore the same sizes and liked the same casual look. Jeans, t-shirts, joggers, fashion sneakers, or work boots. Throw in a flannel or hoodie if it was cold; a button-up or light sweater if we needed to dress things up a bit.

I smiled as I thought of the time we had to do shirts and ties for headshots for CoJack Realty. I didn’t think either of us had worn that shit since the photo shoot, but we’d looked pretty damn good at the time.

While Kai showered, I fixed Elsie the last bottle she’d ever drink in the apartment and made sure her car seat was ready. We’d do a diaper change after a good burp and be good to go for a fairly long stretch. That was the good thing about tiny babies—they didn’t do a whole lot other than eat, poop, and sleep. I hadn’t known this going into fatherhood, but I’d learned it quickly. Traveling with a small infant would actually be a lot easier than traveling with a toddler.

Kai emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, smelling like my soap, and my gut clenched. After running the towel through his damp hair, he tossed it back toward the bathroom, not paying attention to it landing in a heap—some things hadn’t changed at all—and rubbed his hands together. “Gimme the baby,” he said in a silly voice that warmed my heart.

“Have you ever held a baby?” I asked.

“Shut up, don’t act like you were a top-notch baby-holder before this beauty was born. My mom assures me I won’t break her unless I really try.” My eyes widened in horror and Kai laughed. “Not that I’d try . God man, your face.” He sat on the floor and made grabby hands.

I retrieved the bottle and joined him, both of us leaning against the wall. “Main thing—and it’s easier to do with a pillow, but you can use my knee—is to support her head. She’s wobbly.” I handed my heart over to the man I’d loved in one way or another for twenty-five years. Elsie stretched and fussed.

“Oh shit, she doesn’t like me.”

I laughed. “She’s hungry and she doesn’t like to be woken up.” Pausing, I stared at my daughter in Kai’s arms and tried to sort through the emotions. Awe, slight jealousy, extreme love that couldn’t be explained, and the most heart-wrenching feeling of rightness I’d ever experienced.

Clearing my throat as Elsie’s fusses got a bit louder, I held the bottle out to him. “Girl knows how to chug a bottle, so this part should be easy. We’ll get to diaper changes next.”

Kai took the bottle and held it to Elsie’s mouth, smiling up at me proudly when she latched on and went to town. “I’ve been practicing diapers.”

My jaw dropped. “What? How?”

“Got a doll and been watching videos. Mom helped too.” He spoke to me, but his eyes never left Elsie as she sucked down her lunch. “I got this cool baby wrap thing too. I met this lady at the class she taught at the hospital, and she fitted me with the right one. I’ve only tried it with the doll, but it lets you hold her close and have both hands free—we can both use it since we’re the same height and all. Oh, I’ve got a person coming to show us all we need to do to baby-proof the house—since it’s old, I figured we’d need assistance. Do you have one of those baby monitors with the video? I figure she won’t need her own room right away, but I got the monitor because it was the highest rated in the safety category. I like that we can hear her and see her from anywhere in the house.” Kai glanced up and continued. “Had the pipes tested for lead. Put a water filtration system in. Got a humidifier since old houses have dry air. And when it gets closer, we’ll make sure to have the best Baby’s First Christmas ever .”

I couldn’t speak.

“What?” Kai asked as tears stung my eyes.

I sniffed. Having a damn baby had made me more emotional than I’d ever been.

Having a best friend you’re in love with step in and act as if co-parenting with you is the most natural thing in the world also has you wrecked.

No lies detected.

“Just impressed,” I said. “That’s a lot of extra you didn’t have to do. I appreciate it.”

He took the bottle from Elsie and set it aside. “Anything for this girl.” He bumped his shoulder into mine. “And her daddy. Now, show me how to burp her. But I don’t want her to, like, puke on me or anything.”

I laughed. “Attempt at your own risk.”

“Seriously?” Kai asked, his nose wrinkled in distaste.

“I can burp her. It’s usually a forty-sixty chance you’ll get more than a burp.”

“No.” Kai took a deep breath. “I’ve got this.”

I’d known the man since we were five. I knew enough to know when he was determined to do something. So, I showed him how to get her up on his shoulder and how to pat the burp out of her. The way he froze in fear when the tiny bundle burped as loud as a frat brother, waiting for the explosion of puke, made me chuckle.

“Looks like you dodged the mess this time.”

“Dude, she burped like she’d just done a keg-stand,” Kai exclaimed, his eyes wide before he busted out laughing.

“Just wait until she farts.”

We fell against each other, laughing until we could barely breathe.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “For coming. For bringing me home. Bringing both of us home.”

“Always.”