A Touch of Christmas Magic (Peppermint Hollow #2)

8. Colby

CHAPTER 8

COLBY

Coming back to Peppermint Hollow had been the best decision of my entire life.

And the worst.

Building on the foundation my dad and I had established once he got his shit together all those years ago allowed for healing I didn’t even realize I needed. Allison was an amazing person, so very good for Dad, and I appreciated the way she fit so seamlessly into her role in my life. Seeing my father become a grandpa—the way he effortlessly became Papaw Tom—did funny things to my heart. He’d messed up with me back when I was a kid—thanks in part to the horrendous person who was my mother—but he’d worked his ass off to fix things with me, and he was determined to be everything Elsie needed in a grandpa.

I wasn’t glad I’d had a shit childhood, but getting a second chance with my dad, and watching him get a redo with my daughter was almost worth it.

And who knew I needed the whole found-family vibe as badly as I did? When I left Peppermint Hollow, I was running from the shit my mom saddled me with. I had a tentative relationship with my dad. I had my best friend. I didn’t need anything else. I planned to push everything bad away, find a girl to love as much as I loved Kai, and build an amazing life.

Well, while all of that went to shit, I’d evidently missed out on the fact I was lonely as hell. I had Kai, of course. Things were good with Dad. But my circle of friends was nothing but a dot. Coming home, meeting Emory, Ivy, Trevor, and Blake—finding myself building true friendships with people who shared my values and were so damn easy to spend time with—that had been one of the most unexpected positives of being back in town.

Reconnecting with Kai’s parents had been a huge plus as well. For much of my childhood, Eric and Lacy Jackson had been the love and support I didn’t have at home. I wasn’t sure what they thought of Kai bringing Elsie and me into his home, but they adapted without even a moment’s hesitation. They doted on Elsie as much as Dad and Allison did, and I could only laugh at how worried I’d been when I thought my baby wouldn’t have family around.

Even the Peppermint Hollow folks had been good to me since I came back. Sure, there were the expected side-eyed looks and whispers, but most were kind and welcoming. We’d lucked out that someone who knew our families had suggested Keelie as a babysitter. The town was the usual small-town gossip-fest, but overall, they were good people—accepting Emory and Ivy, Blake and Trevor, providing the little rainbow stickers and flags—it gave me hope that Elsie would grow up in an open-minded, safe place.

And then there was Kai.

What could I even say? The man was above and beyond in every single way. No one, especially me, deserved a friend like Kai. But I’d somehow won the fucking best friend lottery. It was no wonder I’d gone and fallen in love with him.

But what was I supposed to do about it?

It wasn’t fair to let him house us, co-parent my child, and give up his social life for me. Kai didn’t date a lot, but he’d stopped dating completely ever since we’d moved in. I didn’t like the thought of him dating, but I also felt guilty if I was cramping his style.

On the other hand, maybe Ivy and Trevor were right, and I needed to just be honest with Kai about how I felt. More than likely, he’d just do his best to let me down gently, and we’d go on with our lives. I’d need to find a place to live sooner rather than later. The thought of moving out sent a deep ache straight to my soul. Faking sleep and pulling him into my arms every night after we got Elsie back to bed; pretending not to realize how we woke wrapped together every morning. The end of those things—the end of just spending my days with him—would hurt. But I knew I’d never completely lose my best friend.

As long as I didn’t go and make things weird between us.

My mind teetered back and forth between taking Ivy and Trevor’s advice and being honest with Kai, or just keeping my feelings to myself like I’d done for so many years. The guys had suggested doing it before Christmas. I had offered up that stupid deal of if we’re still single at thirty to Kai way back when. Maybe I’d let things ride for now. If an opportunity presented itself—or if Kai let on he felt anything more than friendship—I’d jump on it. If not, at least I’d have Kai in my life.

If the universe had some big plan for us, I was ready and willing.

I ran a hand over my face. Peppermint Hollow was getting to me. I’d never been one to credit fate or hand things over to the universe. It was all Emory’s talk of holiday magic and those three ornaments being Kai, Elsie, and me. Don’t get me wrong, I thought they were cute as hell, and I loved thinking of our little trio as a family up there on the tree, but still, the holiday magic stuff was doing weird shit to my head.

After changing Elsie’s diaper late one morning about a week after Kai and Emory decorated, I walked with her into the living room and paused. Something was different.

Stockings.

“I like the stockings,” I called to Kai.

“I figured you did since you got them,” he said with a smirk as he joined us near the fireplace.

“What? I didn’t get them. I thought you did.”

Three stockings hung from the mantle. They matched the three ornaments on the tree perfectly and each silken stocking had a name.

Kai, Elsie, Colby.

“Seriously? You didn’t get them?” Kai asked.

I shook my head.

“I bet it was Em. He hasn’t completely given up on getting us to believe in the Christmas magic.” Kai shook his head. “I’ll get him to confess.”

An hour later, Emory and Ivy were at the house and the younger man was swearing on his life he didn’t put up the stockings.

Ivy shrugged. “I can’t say for sure, but I definitely haven’t seen him with stockings or sneaking over here to decorate your fireplace.”

“Well, someone put them there,” I said with a huff.

Ivy slapped me on the back. “Sometimes, it’s easier to just let the magic do its work.”

I sighed. “At least they match.”

Emory beamed.

Later that day, we headed over to Blake’s place to eat lunch with him and Trevor, but cut the visit short because Elsie was fussy.

She went down easily for a nap after her bottle, but the rest of the day was an absolute shit-show. Kai and I took turns holding her; she screamed if we put her down. She didn’t want food, she kept pulling off her bottle, and she fussed while rubbing her head against our chests.

We tried everything to help soothe her. Two grown men were in an absolute tizzy because our normally easy-going baby was out of sorts, but damn it, we were determined to get her calmed down.

Finally, after reading through lists of possible problems in our book and checking in with our parents, we decided maybe she was teething. Her gums weren’t red and we didn’t feel anything trying to pop through, but it was a viable option.

So, we put her in her chair and gave her a little mesh pocket with a frozen mango. That kept her somewhat happy for about twenty minutes, and we mistakenly thought we were out of the woods.

No such luck.

The screaming started again as Kai cleaned up the mango mess. “What about the shower? She likes the sound usually, and maybe the warm water will feel good?”

At that point, I knew we’d both agree to absolutely anything just to try to make her stop crying. The heartbreaking part was this wasn’t the fussiness we saw here and there from time to time. Elsie was a hot mess, and I was helpless to do anything. She couldn’t tell us what was wrong and I’d never felt so worthless in my life.

“Can you get in with her first?” I asked. “I want to get on the app and see if we can get an appointment with her doctor first thing in the morning. The blog said it’s always better to be safe than sorry.”

Kai nodded and took Elsie from me.

By the time I confirmed a late morning appointment for the next day—thank god for a pediatrician’s office that had multiple doctors and nurse practitioners—Kai had Elsie in the shower.

Fuck.

We’d showered with her before. Sometimes it was quicker and easier to just let the spray rain down than do a whole bath. But we’d always done it by ourselves, not as a group thing.

Kai’s body on display through the glass doors was a work of art.

If I hadn’t been so concerned about my baby, I would have spent forever watching him. As it was, at that moment, Elsie started to fuss and flail again.

“Fuck,” Kai said. “She slippery. Can you take her? I’ll dry off and grab her so you can shower. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long night.”

Dear god, we had no idea.

Averting my eyes from Kai’s very gorgeous, very masculine body I wanted to run my hands all over, I took Elsie in a towel and held her close. Giving Kai some privacy—mostly so I wouldn’t pop wood right there in the bathroom while I watched him like some perv—I walked Elsie around and hummed one of her bedtime songs.

Did babies just have bad days? Maybe it was just one of those. A good night’s sleep would help.

Right?

Kai padded toward me, his caramel hair damp, the thatch on his chest still wet. “I’ll rock her. Shower. This is definitely a two-person tag-team match tonight.”

Never had a shower been so fast and filled with the weirdest combination of thoughts—worry for my baby, a ramped-up desire for my best friend, and confusion over what the hell I should do with these feelings.

All I knew was guilt rained down on me. Guilt over being a shit dad who couldn’t help his baby. Guilt over wanting Kai so badly, even considering dropping that bomb, when I knew damn well I had no business getting into another relationship. Especially not one with my lifelong best friend.

Fuck.

I just needed Elsie to sleep off whatever the issue was and get our little routine back in order. When things were normal, I could figure shit out better.

After a quick shower, I found Kai giving Elsie her bedtime bottle a little early. The bedroom was dark, the sound machine on, and Elsie was snug in her pjs.

“Figured she didn’t nap worth a darn today so maybe starting bedtime early would help,” Kai spoke softly.

“Is she taking the bottle?” I kept to the shadows of the bedroom and pulled on boxer briefs, sweats, and a t-shirt.

“She’s trying. She sucks on it and then pulls off. It’s like she’s hungry, but something hurts?”

After sending a text to Lacy, I thumbed through the parenting book.

“Fever?” I asked. “God, I didn’t even think about a fever.”

Kai bent and put his cheek against her head. How many times had Lacy checked Kai or me for a fever that way? “She doesn’t feel warm. Maybe get the thingy.”

Knowing exactly what he meant, I hurried to the medicine box and pulled out the thermometer. Elsie was not a fan of the thermometer going in her ear, but it worked quickly. “No fever.”

“Your mom wants to know if she’s pulling at her ears?” I asked.

Kai bit his lip. “Yeah. It started with rubbing her face on us, but now she keeps messing with that one.”

“Shit.” I sent back the answer and waited for the reply. “Your mom says, ‘Sounds like an ear infection. Or at least the beginning of one. Give her baby Tylenol for the pain. Fever will likely start later. Doctor will probably give antibiotics tomorrow.’ Shit,” I muttered. “I didn’t even think about Tylenol.”

“It’s okay, we’ve never had to give it to her. Let’s get her some and see if that helps. Maybe we can get in front of the fever.” Kai placed the bottle aside. “We’ll see if she wants this once the pain is better.”

I rummaged through the medicine box and pulled out the baby Tylenol. Luckily, the directions were crystal clear, and Elsie seemed to like the taste because she slurped it right down.

“I know fevers are bad, but I feel like I’ve also read it’s better to let a fever play out,” I said as I took my baby and cuddled her close. “I don’t want her to be sick, but if a fever helps get rid of stuff…”

“We can ask the doctor tomorrow,” Kai said. “Main thing is we relieve her pain and get her to sleep for now.” He patted my cheek with a wink and a tired smile. “He says with absolutely no fucking clue what he’s talking about.”

I chuckled. “You and me both. I didn’t realize how lucky we’ve been that she’s not been sick until now.”

“And how does an ear infection just bam show up?”

“Right?” I settled into the rocker.

Kai brought over a blanket and placed it over me, tucking it around my shoulders, and covering Elsie’s little butt as she curled against me. “Guess it’s one of those things that parents deal with, but damn , this is nerve-wracking.”

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this,” I said.

“Shut up,” Kai interrupted. “We help each other. It’s what we’ve done for years. Remember when you finished my science project for me because I was puking all over the place in sixth grade?”

I chuckled at the memory. “And then I got whatever you had and ended up missing school, but you presented my project and yours.”

“We both got A’s if I remember correctly.”

I nodded, rocking Elsie gently, my hand patting her back. “We did.” The day was catching up with me and a wave of emotion blanketed me. “Thank you. For then, and for now.”

“It’s what we do.” He touched my shoulder. “Are you going to put her down or sleep with her there?”

Hesitating, I glanced at her bed. “Sick babies are a total mind-fuck. I want her comfortable and near me, but sleeping in the chair isn’t the safest option.”

Kai moved Elsie’s little bed closer to my side of the bed. “She’s in warm pajamas and has her little sleep sack thing on. The house is set at seventy-three.”

I liked how he just gave me information and didn’t try to sway me one way or another. Nodding, I slowed the rocker and stood slowly. The medicine seemed to be working because my exhausted little girl was conked out. Gently placing her on her back in her bed, I held my breath and hoped she’d stay asleep. When she didn’t stir, I stood with a sigh of relief.

Kai shut off the tiny lamp on his side of the bed. “I know it’s not super late, but I’m so damn tired. And if it’s an ear infection, that medicine is only good for like four hours I think.”

Running a hand over my face, I groaned. “Need to sleep. Gonna get another bottle set up first. She didn’t take that bedtime one, so she’ll either wake in pain or hungry.” I winced. “Or both.”

“Shit,” Kai grumbled. “This stuff isn’t for the weak. I’ll get another dose of medicine ready, and all the diaper stuff laid out.”

We’d made late-night diapers and bottles a pretty easy routine by being prepared, and it helped to ease some of the anxiety of a sick baby by sticking to the routine as much as possible.

We set off in the dark, quiet house. I checked the thermostat while Kai locked the doors. Peppermint Hollow wasn’t a town with much crime, but it was still a habit we’d gotten into.

By the time we’d both done our part of the preparations, used the bathroom, and brushed our teeth, I was about to drop. Checking on Elsie, sending up a prayer that she slept for as long as possible, I climbed into bed.

My usual act of faking sleep and pretending I didn’t realize I was cuddling Kai went into action much quicker. With a slight snore, I rolled toward him, and waited for his breathing to even out. He wasn’t completely asleep, but we always joked about how quickly I drifted off, so I knew he’d think I was out.

God, I needed him in my arms. Needed his warmth, the press of his body against mine. I made my move and forced myself not to press kisses against his neck.

As usual, he tensed for a brief moment. The first time I dared to hold him while we slept, we were in college and drunk off our asses. Kai always froze and held his breath for just a second, before relaxing into the embrace. Never wanting to put him in an uncomfortable position, I was sure to keep the hold loose so he could easily roll away.

He never did.

With Elsie sound asleep and my arms full of my best friend, I breathed him in deeply. The best and worst part of this faking sleep so I could hold him in our sleep game I’d been playing for so many years was two-part. One, he thought I was asleep and didn’t know what I was doing. Two, I had to decipher some of the things Kai did when he thought I was asleep.

The way he sometimes took my hand and pressed his lips to my knuckles. The way he’d cuddle in, pressing his ass against me. The deep sigh as his body melted.

We’d always been comfortable with each other and free with touches. Part of me figured Kai just played along or enjoyed the cuddles. I knew Kai was a cuddler—one of his biggest complaints about people he hooked up with or dated was when they didn’t like to cuddle. Or the few times he wasn’t interested, but they turned into an octopus.

A tiny part of my mind kept reminding me that Kai just liked the closeness of another body, and who better than a lifelong friend?

But another minuscule voice whispered ever so softly. Maybe Kai likes you. Maybe he wants to touch you as much as you want to touch him. Maybe he feels that same hot burn in his chest, the butterflies in his gut, when he thinks about you.

It was ridiculous.

I knew it was.

Mostly.

But warm, sleepy bodies wrapped together had my brain going haywire.

And don’t even get me started on my dick.

No. It was not the time for thoughts like that.

Elsie was sick. We needed rest.

I’d give more thought to telling my best friend I was in love with him later.

Kai sighed and snuggled closer, and sleep overtook me.