A Touch of Christmas Magic (Peppermint Hollow #2)

11. Kai

CHAPTER 11

KAI

Grateful Elsie went down easily, I turned toward the door intent on rescuing Colby from Delores. The woman wasn’t easy, and she could talk a blue streak.

I froze.

Colby stood in the doorway.

How long had he been there? Did he hear me spill my heart to Elsie?

No. I would have seen him standing there.

He shifted and I noticed the monitor in his hand.

The top-of-the-line picks up every single little sound monitor. He had the receiver. The base unit was in the bedroom.

Where I’d told Elsie I was in love with her dad.

With no time to decide how to play the situation, I just put my finger to my lips and walked toward him. Bustling him from the doorway, I closed the door behind me.

I’d play this as normal as possible.

As we neared the living room, Colby grabbed my hand and stopped me.

I looked down at our hands and back up at Colby’s face.

Tension laced across his features.

But there was something else.

Something I couldn’t quite pin down.

Was he angry? Upset?

Pleased?

“I love you,” Colby blurted.

I smiled. Just keep things normal. “I love you too.”

Dear god, why was my voice so raspy and high? And were hands supposed to be that sweaty?

Colby stepped closer, pressing my back to the wall. “No, I love you. For real. I liked calling you my husband.” He rested his forehead against mine. “I like living with you. I like raising our daughter together. I. Love. You.”

What in the actual fuck was happening? Had I fallen asleep rocking Elsie and this was all a dream?

My first attempt failed as I struggled to find words. Finally, I cleared my throat. “What do you mean? What are you saying?”

Colby’s hand came up to cup my face and he closed his eyes, breathing me in. “I’m saying, I just heard every word you told our daughter.”

My breath caught. “I?—”

“No, Kai, I need to say this. Fuck.” He nuzzled his nose against mine. “I’ve needed to say this since we were eighteen.”

Oh, god.

“I’m listening.” Tremors traveled through my body. My heart wanted to shut out the world and just let Colby hold me. My brain blasted danger, danger ; all my synapses firing, preparing to retreat. What did Colby need to say? How was this going to change my life?

I knew deep in my soul what I wanted him to say, but I also knew that the heart doesn’t always get what it most desperately wants.

“Remember the day we made that deal?” Colby asked, his eyes closed, forehead pressed against mine.

I nodded.

“Well, we’re thirty and single. I wanna collect on it.”

“What?” I rasped out.

“I love you. I’ve loved you since we were five, but I fell for you for real when I was eighteen. Maybe before.”

“But you never…” I whispered.

“You didn’t either.”

“Touché.” I smiled, loving the laugh lines that crinkled Colby’s face. “Go on.”

“I don’t know exactly when it started, but I knew by the time I was eighteen that I wanted to kiss you and hold you and love you in all the ways we hadn’t experienced together.”

“But you left.” My words caught. “How could you love me and leave like that?”

Colby sighed. “The same way my brain is screaming at me right now to take off. Telling me I’m not worth it. I’ll just mess things up for you. I don’t deserve to be happy and in love.”

“That’s all the shit with your mom talking.” I put my hands on both sides of his face. “None of that is true.” I shook his head. “No, look at me. You are worth everything . You make my life better just by being in it. You deserve every ounce of happiness and love. Do you hear me?”

Colby grunted, slamming his eyes shut again. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long.”

“Why didn’t you?”

He cracked an eye. “Guess I could ask you the same.”

“I asked first.” I bumped my hips into his.

Fucking hell.

That was a mistake.

Huge mistake.

Oh god, even the slightest press of my cock against his was enough to have me dying to grip his ass and thrust our bodies together.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Colby had to have noticed it if the way he sucked in air and gritted his teeth was any indication.

Was he as turned on as me?

Put off?

“I always figured you’d tell me if there was something there for you. When you didn’t, I convinced myself I was better off loving my best friend and keeping him in my life rather than letting him know I’d fallen in love with him and risk losing the best person I’ve ever known.” Colby took a deep breath. “I’m not fuckin’ around, Kai. Life without you wouldn’t be worth livin’ even if I could get through it on my own. I can’t lose you.”

Carding my fingers through the soft, silky blond locks at the back of his head, I swallowed thickly before making a frustrated sound and pressing a hard kiss to Colby’s forehead. “Fuck, Cole. I get it. I fell for you at thirteen—fuckin’ thirteen—I didn’t exactly know what it meant, but I knew I wanted to crawl into your pocket and be with you always.”

Colby sniffed.

“And then hormones hit, and I was bombarded with all this shit I wanted to do with you—but even then, it was all very vague and shadowy in my mind—I just knew I wanted to touch you. Kiss you. And jerking off always ended with visions of you no matter how hard I tried to think of anyone else.”

This time, Colby laughed. “May have had my fair share of the same. Just a little later than you figured things out.”

“So, what does this mean? Where does this leave us?” I asked, thrilled and terrified at the same time.

“Like I said, I want to call in that deal. Give us a chance.” Colby pulled back, his eyes locking with mine. “If you’re on board?”

“Don’t be a dumbass, I’ve loved you forever.”

“Is it enough?” Worry passed over Colby’s face.

I gripped his hair and pressed my temple to his, bringing my lips to his ear. “What we have will always be enough. We’ll figure it out.”

Colby gave a shaky laugh. “Will we?”

I pulled back, whispers of doubt wisping through me. “Why wouldn’t we?”

He scoffed. “We couldn’t even be honest with each other about how we felt. We lost so many years. How can we make something work if we can’t even tell the fucking truth?”

I cupped his face and stared deep into those light blue eyes I knew better than my own. “We make it work the same way we’ve made this friendship work for twenty-five years. By loving each other. Trusting each other. Knowing each other better than we know ourselves.”

Colby snorted.

A smirk tugged at my lips. “Okay, we got a little off track in the knowing each other department since neither of us figured this shit out.”

“Other people figured it out before we did.”

I cocked a brow.

“My neighbor back in California. My dad. Ivy and Trevor.”

Laughter bubbled from me. “Emory and Blake too. And Francis.”

“What’s wrong with us?”

I shook my head, a wash of sorrow dampening the thrill of what Colby and I had finally admitted to each other.

“What?” Colby scowled. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just thinking about all the years we missed out on.”

It was Colby’s turn to shake his head. “We weren’t ready back then. I had too much shit to work through. As badly as I knew I wanted you, I wasn’t in a place to make it work.” He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close, my lungs freezing. “I needed to grow up, figure some things out. Plus, we wouldn’t have Elsie.”

“Cole?”

“Yeah?”

“I wanna kiss you so fuckin’ bad,” I whispered, a million butterflies fluttering in my chest.

“Fuck.” Colby tightened his arm around me and brought a hand up to brush knuckles over my cheek. “What if I’m bad at it and mess everything up?”

“Then we practice until we’re good at it,” I said. “But I’m so fuckin’ hard I could pound nails, so I don’t think it’s gonna suck.”

Colby moved to cup the back of my head and pulled me close, his breath feathering over my mouth. “I want this. I want you. I want it all, whatever you can give me.”

“You already own every part of me.” My lips ghosted over his.

He kissed me. Soft and tentative at first, but then the flame smoldering between us all those years sparked to life, and Colby deepened the kiss. Devouring my mouth in the sweetest, hottest kiss of my life.

His scent wrapped around me, comforting and familiar. The taste of his mouth something new and exciting, promising so much more. Warmth seeped between us, my hips rocking, searching.

It wasn’t clear who moaned first, but the whimper as the kiss ended was definitely me.

“Holy shit.” Colby huffed, breathing heavily.

“Didn’t suck?” I asked with a breathless chuckle.

“Didn’t suck at all.”