A Truth Revealed (The Heart of Cheyenne #3)

Chapter 8

8

On Sunday evening, Laura joined her friends at church. They sang several hymns, then the pastor spoke on the parable of the lost sheep. Laura had heard the words of Luke fifteen many times in her short life, but tonight they touched her in a special way as she thought of Will.

The pastor read the text. “‘What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.’”

The pastor closed his Bible and looked out on the congregation. “There are many ways to be lost. One can be lost to God because he has refused Him obedience. One can be lost because the trials of life have sent him on the wrong road. One can be lost in sorrows, and one can be lost in pleasures. But in the account of our text, we can be assured that no matter the cause, this loss creates a separation from the Shepherd. From God Himself.

“Now, there are those who are lost who have never come into the fold. They are not a part of the flock and yield themselves to no shepherd. But our story today speaks of those who belong to the Shepherd. This is a shepherd who has one hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray. One of them leaves the safety of the shepherd and wanders off, making his own way. For whatever reason, he leaves the flock. But the shepherd loves him and cares for him just as he does the other ninety-nine. And he goes in search of him until he finds him.

“And when he finds him, the shepherd calls to his friends and tells them about his success, and there is great rejoicing. For God so loves the world that each and every person in His flock is precious to Him. He will seek you and come to bring you home.”

Laura loved this parable. The thought of God coming after her, searching for her when she chose to walk away, had always encouraged her to stay close to Him, where she was safe and protected from all attacks.

Thoughts of Will again came to mind. Will had grown up among people who had a strong faith in God. He had chosen to be a minister, and not just any minister but one who would give up the comfort of all he knew to go to a new and different place. That thought truly touched something deep in Laura’s heart. The sacrifice that was necessary for such a thing was tremendous.

Will had to know that he was risking his very life. Just because the government assigned him a place to minister didn’t mean that the native people would accept him. Someone could easily take offense and put an end to Will’s life.

And had his mother and sister lived, it would have required complete separation from the people he loved. He’d already endured many months in Cheyenne without them nearby. He’d lost his own father and was unable to get back in time for the funeral. There had been no opportunity to say good-bye. Just as there hadn’t been with his mother and sister. It grieved Laura to imagine his pain in that sense of void. She had always been glad that she’d been at her mother’s bedside for those final days. Laura and her mother had been able to talk about everything—to share their love. Mother also spoke of her hopes and dreams for Laura. It had been a precious time. One that Will hadn’t had a chance to have. Not with his father, nor his mother and sister.

“Little flock, precious lambs of God, you are loved with an everlasting love. God will not give up on you. He will seek you until He finds you. He will pursue you because you belong to Him. The ways of this world might lay you low. Sin might darken your vision and lead you into places where you should not stray, but God is mighty and loving. If you don’t already know Him, I encourage you to pray and repent of your sin and ask that He take charge of your life. It’s a very simple act. Romans ten, verses nine and ten declare, ‘That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.’”

He stepped toward the congregation. “And if you have already made that confession and belong to Him, but you’ve strayed away like the little lamb, come back to the Shepherd. Return to where you belong and repent before you face over whelming consequences that might take you even further from the love of the Father.”

Before Laura knew it, the service was over, and the congregation was standing for the benediction. Once the final “amen” was said, the people broke into groups to talk to one another about the coming week. Laura found herself immediately caught up with Granny Taylor and Marybeth Vogel. Melody and Mrs. Cooper soon joined them.

“How’s the patient?” Granny asked. “I want to come see him one of these afternoons.”

“I want to do that as well,” Mrs. Cooper added.

“I think we’d all like to pay a visit,” Melody said.

“Why don’t we gather at my house on Wednesday for our sewing circle? It’s well past time for me to host.” Laura had already planned to ask them to come, and now seemed the perfect moment for the invitation. “I’ve been worried about Will. He’s lost in sorrow and blames himself for the death of his mother and sister. He’s quite angry at God, although perhaps I shouldn’t say as much. I don’t mean to gossip about him. I’m just worried.” She glanced at each woman’s sympathetic face. “I think it would do him good to have you ladies come and visit.”

“Poor lad,” Granny said. “I can only imagine that his guilt overwhelms him. He told me how he had been after his mother since summer to come here to Cheyenne. I’m sure he feels that had he done otherwise, they would both be safe and alive.”

Laura nodded. “That’s it exactly, Granny. He says it’s all his fault. Well, his and God’s. I’ve tried to reassure him that he’s not to blame and that God hasn’t abandoned him, but he won’t hear it from my lips. Perhaps from yours.”

Granny shook her head. “He won’t receive it until the pain lessens a bit and he’s able to think rationally. Right now, he’s in the throes of grief, and that can make a person believe outrageous things.”

“It’s never easy to deal with death,” Marybeth assured. “And often there is regret and the sense that so much was left unsaid. I can still remember the day my father died. He went off to work driving his freight wagon as he did every day. We had flapjacks and maple syrup for breakfast. My father always preferred eggs and sausage, but I hadn’t had a chance to go shopping, and we didn’t have but a couple of eggs. He made light of it, but after he died, I remember being so sad that he hadn’t been able to have his favorite breakfast that morning. I found myself wondering if I’d even told him that I loved him when he left the house. I started second-guessing myself on all sorts of things.”

“That’s why I always make sure I tell Jed how much I love him before he leaves for work each day,” Granny said, glancing over at the man with whom she’d shared most of her life. “I know that no matter what happens through the day, he knows that he’s loved.”

Marybeth nodded. “I remember you saying that, so I make sure Carrie and Edward know how I feel before we part company.”

Laura could well imagine that Will was full of regret for not having been able to say good-bye. “I’m glad you can come. I know Will can use cheering up. I’ll furnish lunch, so plan to stay a few hours.”

“Sounds perfect,” Melody replied. “I’ll see you on Wednesday.”

When Laura returned from church, she was surprised to find that her father had gone out for the evening. She knew he was quite independent and used to doing as he pleased, but the fact that he’d told no one where he was going bothered Laura a great deal. She would never be so thoughtless as to leave him wondering about her whereabouts.

She hung up her coat and set aside her hat and gloves before heading down the hall to check on Will. She found him struggling to sit up and chided him for not ringing the bell for help.

“You aren’t going to do yourself any favors by trying to do everything without help. You could cause more harm than good.” She came and helped him to sit. Once he was more upright, Laura grabbed a couple of pillows and put them behind Will.

“Have you had supper yet?”

“Yes. I ate an hour ago. That new girl came and took the tray away.”

His reference to the new maid her father had hired made Laura smile. “Rosey’s quite good at her job, don’t you think?”

“Yes, I suppose. She lays a good fire.”

Laura straightened the covers around Will. “She’s very young. Just nineteen, but I’ve watched her work, and she pays close attention to detail. I think she’ll be very helpful.”

She pulled up the rocking chair and sat without seeking Will’s approval. “Church was quite crowded tonight. I am hopeful that they’ll soon have enough money to begin to build their own building. The pastor spoke on the parable of the lost sheep in Luke fifteen. Are you familiar with that story?”

“Of course.” Will’s tone was biting.

Laura paid it no attention. “I was deeply touched by the fact that if I stray, God will seek me out. He will leave the ninety-nine and come to urge me home.”

“If He cares so much, why does He allow us to stray in the first place?”

“Hmmm, that’s a good question. After all, He is God and can do whatever He wants since He’s all powerful. You’ve had seminary training. What did your teachers say about this?”

Will met her gaze momentarily, then looked away. “That God gives us free will. That we are allowed to choose obedience or disobedience for a time.”

She nodded and began to rock. “I suppose God doesn’t wish us to feel forced into a relationship with Him. He wants us to come willingly and to abide in Him once we’ve made that choice. I can’t imagine trying to walk away from God.”

“Even when the worst happens in your life, and you feel abandoned by Him?” Will continued to stare at the wall.

“What are the alternatives? Where would I go? I can abandon my faith because things don’t work out the way I think they should, or I can abide and trust that even though things haven’t gone the way I wanted, God is still faithful. Still loving. Still God.”

Will fixed her with a hard look. “And you believe that?”

“I do. And whether you want to admit it or not, so do you. It’s the fact that you do believe that is causing you such anger.”

“You don’t even know me. Don’t judge me.”

Laura smiled. “I know we haven’t been around each other for long, but I feel as though I do know you. There’s something about you that just seems very familiar.” She held up her hand when he opened his mouth. “I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. When we first met, I could tell you were a man who was completely devoted to God. You still are, but you are hurt and angry. The questions you have seem to have no answers, and the loss you’ve experienced is devastating. But you still believe.”

“You have no right to say that. You don’t know me.”

“I’d like to know you better. I’d like to be your friend.”

“I don’t want a friend.”

Laura could see the frustration in his expression. Her words had struck a chord. “I understand. You fear the loss that could come. And it always comes in one form or another.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Laura ignored him. “In many ways, life is but a series of losses and disappointments—of counting on God for one result and getting another. My mother was strong in her faith and had trusted God since she was a child. But when she realized He wasn’t going to heal her in a manner that would allow her to remain on earth, she was deeply disappointed. I was as well. She had always taught me that God heard and answered our prayers. Each and every one of them.

“I was distraught that He wouldn’t save my mother. Nothing hurt more than telling her good-bye.” The memory pierced Laura’s heart, and for a moment, it was as if it had happened yesterday. She could still see the despair on her mother’s face when she told Laura that she wasn’t going to get better.

“But Mama didn’t want me to give up trusting God. I would imagine your mother wouldn’t want you to do that either.” She looked at him and smiled. “What mother would? I know my mother longed to stay. She wanted to be there for me and for my father, but she was also racked with pain. She wanted the release that only God could give her. How could I deny her that?”

“You were a child. You needed her.”

Laura nodded as she looked deep into his brown eyes. There was something about this man that drew her in ... made her feel as if they’d known each other for years rather than weeks.

“I did. I needed my father but lost him as well. At least for a time. I can tell you from my experience that I learned to guard my heart. And the time that I didn’t ... well, it taught me a lesson I’ll not soon forget. So I can understand how you feel, and I’m so very sorry. Just know that I care ... that I’m a friend who understands the pain of loss.”

She got to her feet. “Can I get you anything else before I head up to bed?”

He studied her for a long moment, then shook his head. “I don’t need anything.” He tried to lie flat in the bed. A moan escaped his lips.

Laura was immediately at his side. “Well, for now you may not need a friend, but you do need a nurse, and you’re stuck with me.” She helped him to a better position, then straightened to put out the lamp.

“Miss Evans ... Laura,” Will said, his voice much softer. “I’m sorry. I know I’m difficult. Thank you for your help.”

She gave him a hint of a smile. “You’re welcome, Will.”