About Time (Broken Vows #4)

Epilogue

Charlie Present- Age 53

The party ends shortly after I finish telling our story. It’s late, and there’s an army of short people sleeping inside our homes that will be full of energy in the morning. Harlow goes inside with Hattie while Scott stays behind with me to make sure the fire is put out.

I can tell the kid needs to talk, and over the last year we’ve built a strong bond. I can’t explain it because I was nothing like him when I was his age. I’d say of all the guys, he is most like Donovan, loyal, caring, protective, and kind. I regret that I managed to damage Hattie’s friendship with Donovan, but tonight I saw the beginning of their path back to each other. I know he’ll forgive her for leaving him behind because that’s who he is. Now that he knows the truth, all of it, he will be able to move forward.

Come to think of it, Scott reminds me a lot of Hattie as well. She had the same optimistic approach to life before I broke her heart. Being around Scott makes me feel like my life is exactly where it should be. This morning I started out looking back over my life and trying to weigh the choices I’ve made.

I couldn’t be happier about where I am now. I may not be a rich man in material things, but I am wealthy in love. I’ve got the love of my soul mate, my chosen brothers and sisters, and all the little ones we’re blessed to watch grow.

If I’d made different choices, who knows what would have changed, and I wouldn’t change a thing about my life today. This morning as I stood on the deck drinking my coffee I couldn’t help reflecting on all of my mistakes. Telling our story, and getting our truth out for the first time, freed me to see the entire picture in a way I wasn’t seeing it.

The thing I didn’t grasp is that we aren’t the sum of our mistakes. No human is perfect. It’s how we respond to our missteps and grow that define us. Hearing Hattie’s side of our shared past helped me to finally forgive myself and let go of the hurt I’ve been carrying around.

Scott idly pokes at the coals with a stick, and I focus my attention back on him now that my existential crisis is over.

“Okay, kid, out with it,” I demand.

He grumbles something about not calling him kid, but at this point, it’s an obligatory complaint, not really something he truly cares about. He exhales and faces me. “You all know that I don’t love the idea of raising our baby in Seattle. It’s too loud, too crowded, and?—”

“Your family isn’t there,” I finish for him.

He nods. “It is close to my parents, and my sister, or at least it would be if the three of them were ever in Ellensburg for any length of time. My sister is off at college and my parents have been traveling the world for my father’s photography projects. I can see them from here just as easily as I can in Seattle.”

“How does Harlow feel about it?” I ask him. I don’t see her objecting, so I don’t see what the issue will be with them moving back.

“I know she likes her job at Anderson Global. I don’t want to clip her wings, and she’s finally getting to use her degree. I can’t force her back into a small box.”

I shake my head. “You know that Harlow doesn’t prioritize money and status. She likes being useful. Most importantly she values being with family. We’ve never replaced her at the garage. We’d love to have her back running the books at Hale and Storm. You know Wren would love to hand that part back to her. Plus, your baby would never have to be in daycare.”

He nods his head over and over, absorbing the admittedly hard sell I just gave to have them move back. It isn’t the same with them gone. We created our found family years ago, but having the two of them join made it feel complete somehow. And Scott is more supportive of my dad gang than Griffin is. He has to move back because those moms at school pick up are vicious.

He doesn’t speak up right away, and I’m failing to see what has him so tied in knots over the desire to move back. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“You know my assistant coach?” he asks.

“The one who wasn’t an abusive ass hat? What was his name, Tucker?”

He nods. “Yeah, he is a good guy, and he got a great opportunity to coach a minor league team. The university asked him for a recommendation for a replacement, and he suggested they ask me. Central Valley wants me to come back as the head coach. It’s insane, because I don’t have the experience beyond playing in college, but the athletic director thinks it will be good PR for the university. But that means?—”

Realization hits me. “That means that she would be the coach’s wife again.”

“I don’t think I can ask this of her. There are too many bad memories for her. Not just what her ex-husband put her through, but the college hung her out to dry by taking away her job all to appease her husband’s giant ego.”

“Don’t underestimate her. Ask her,” I advise him.

He looks away from me, back to my house, where right about now Hattie is probably making sure they will be comfortable in our guestroom.”

“I don’t know if I can do that. She’s pregnant, and after what her ex did to her I worry that something could go wrong,” he says.

I grab his shoulder. “I know how terrified you were when he took her, and having seen the bruises he left, but the doctors said that there was no permanent damage. She’s a lot stronger than you think.”

“That may be, but I can’t stop myself from taking care of her like she’s made of glass. If even mentioning to her that the university offered me the coaching position could cause her stress, I can’t do it,” he explains.

“I can’t tell you what to do, but I will advise you to trust your wife. Selfishly, I’d love to have you both back. Harlow is like a sister to me, and the dad gang isn’t the same without you.”

He rolls his eyes. “Perhaps that’s because I’m the only one who will entertain your lunacy.”

“Tomato, potato,” I say.

“Tomato, to-mah-to,” Scott corrects.

I shrug. “Same difference. That’s not what’s really important though. You realize that we both have super hot wives inside, hopefully slipping into something tiny and lacy, and we’re out here poking at dying coals.”

“Good point,” he agrees. “Harlow is full of pregnancy hormones and I’m wasting all this horny energy with you.”

“I’m starting to understand why Griffin likes to keep Wren pregnant,” I say.

“The man is a fucking genius,” Scott agrees.

We don’t waste any more time watching the last of the fire die out. He helps me grab the cooler, and we throw the melting ice on it to make sure it won’t spark up again. Then without a word, we hurry across the communal lawn to my house. Inside we split ways.

Once inside our bedroom, I hear Hattie moving around in the bathroom. She’s singing Iris, a little off-key, but it’s still the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. While she’s occupied I grab my guitar out of the closet. I’ve played for her a few times over the years, but not often.

When she comes out I start to play a few chords, and I let them blend into Kings of Leon’s, “Sex on Fire.”

She bites her lip as I sing about hot sex and a passionate romance. Her body is wrapped in a towel. I jerk my chin in her direction in a silent command to let it drop.

Hattie lets go of the large bath-sheet and I take in the long lines of her beautiful body. The years haven’t changed how sexy I think she is. Stretch marks remind me of the two beautiful daughters she carried for us. There’s a faint tan line from the bikini she wore on the trip we took a few weeks ago to see her friend Clark in Florida.

He turned out not to be such a bad guy after all, but I think I like him a lot better now that he’s married to a woman he’s crazy about and has a couple of kids of his own.

She stands in front of me waiting for my next direction, and I do hate to keep her waiting. I set my guitar back in the case, and grab a silk rope.

“Feel like playing with me, Doll?” I ask her while I pull the rope slowly through my hand.

“Yes, Sir,” she says demurely.

I know she expects me to dominate her and use her body for my pleasure. She gets off on it as much as I do, but we don’t get to play like this as much since we became parents. That doesn’t mean that things have cooled down between us. Sometimes the stolen moments are just as exciting. Anything with Hattie is the best experience of my life.

“I love you so much. More than I ever thought was possible. You are everything to me. I’m a difficult man to love, and yet you do, more than I ever imagined anyone could. The truth is I never believed anyone would love me, that they could love me.”

I take in a shaky deep breath. Ten years together and she still makes me nervous. “Telling our story tonight reminded me of how much I have to make up to you. Ten years later, and I still feel like I should be groveling. What it also reminded me of is how awful it feels to live without you. I’ll never do it again. There’s not a part of me that doesn’t thank my stars that you’re mine.”

All those memories flash through my mind like watching a highlight reel of my worst moments. I will never experience that again. I kiss her with all the desperation that swells up inside of me. Even the need to breathe isn’t as strong as my need for her.

When I finally pull away, I put my forehead against hers. “You want to hear a secret?”

She hums in agreement. I kiss her head and move back so I can look deep into her grass-green eyes. “You own me. I’m nothing without you. Believe me, I tried, but I can’t live without you. I won’t.”

She shakes her head. “You never have to again. Neither of us do. And, I already knew that I owned you, but it’s about time you figured it all out. ”

“You know what I’ve figured out is how good it feels to be deep inside of you. Not just inside your body, but in your heart and soul too.”

Her eyes sparkle as I lay her down on our bed and cover her with my body. Tonight isn’t the night to rush. I’ve wasted time, lost time, and now I’m going to take my time. My plan is to worship every inch of her like the treasure she is.

This all started with me trying to scare her away, instead I found my other half. Our story is painful, at times sordid, but it’s full of love, hope, and forgiveness too. We’re two broken people who only make sense when we fit our pieces together. Ours is a story about time, how we choose to use it, how fast it flies by when you’re with the one you love, and how long it stretches without them. It’s about the moments that, if you’re really lucky, turn into years.

I kiss Hattie, pouring every confession from my body into hers. I’m still not great with words, but Hattie and I have learned how to communicate with each other. Time gave us that, too.

When you stack everything up, a few gray hairs and some lines by my eyes aren’t so bad. Those gray hairs were caused by the precious responsibility of fatherhood, and those lines were from years of smiling at my beautiful wife. It’s life in all of its glory. Chaotic at times, often messy, painful, and so beautiful despite it all. I guess looking back from where I am, I wouldn’t change a moment, and that is the best any man can ask for.