Absolute Devotion (An Omega’s Preference #3)

1. Nala

one

NALA

The room feels empty but I have no idea what it needs. Moving from my brother’s house into the little apartment building down the street isn’t what I thought it would be. The eerie nighttime winds rushing past the rickety structure have me looking over my shoulder more often than not. Even knowing that Michael is gone—the Alpha that tormented me and my brother’s Omega, Kieran—I can’t sit still. Because something is wrong with this room.

My gaze moves along the browning walls, the sparse furniture pushed up against the edges, showing just how much space this studio has. It’s too big and not enough all at once but I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve thought about adding a splash of color but I’ve only been here a little while since the incident at my brother’s house.

My chest tightens at the terrifying memory from two weeks ago—the moment when an Alpha burst into that home and tried to claim Kieran as his own. Michael had been working for an organization called POCA or the Prized Omega Collection Agency where his entire job was acquiring Omegas that didn’t fit the societal norms. Kieran is just over six feet and is larger than one of his own Alphas and me… well, my scent is ‘overpowered’. At least, that’s what the doctor mentioned a few months ago.

I slap a hand over my gland, glad that the patch I put there earlier is still there. One whiff of my scent and Alphas and Betas clamor toward me, demanding my submission. They never see me , though. It’s always just a primitive response to our biological connection. At the academy, I used to think that it gave me some kind of status to have Alphas wanting me like that.

When Michael found me, feeding me all the pretty words I could possibly want to hear, I thought I had finally found someone who wanted me.

I don’t think that anymore.

Because all of those words were nothing more than diamond-crusted lies. He was never going to give me my happy ending. He just wanted to fulfill his quota of Omegas.

Memories of lavish dinners and the way he used to caress my cheek filter into my head. All the times my Omega preened for him as he strengthened our connection. The ghost of his fingers still haunts me, a feeling that I can't get out of my head.

You're a perfect Omega, Nala, he'd purr in my ear.

My body shudders as I stuff those memories down as far as they will go. I know that I'm not perfect.

In fact, I don’t trust any of those biological instincts because they’ve always led me astray. I can’t even trust my growing affection for the two officers who helped during Kieran’s case. Zahria and Xylo. My thoughts have been filled with fantasies of them, my body craving their touch, while logic tells me that they’ll react the same as everyone else.

The moment the patch comes off, they’ll lunge and try to tear me apart, letting their designation speak for them instead of their rationale. They won’t hurt me, I try to tell myself but it does nothing for me.

I tuck myself farther under the covers, a shiver running down my spine as I wrap the duvet around my body. The warmth isn’t enough, though. I don’t know what I’m missing but the growing heat in the pit of my belly just makes this worse. This is the worst time for a heat, when I’m still trying to figure out my life. The part-time position at the preschool with one of my brother’s Alphas, Ren, is a godsend but it doesn’t take up enough of my time.

My mind still wanders, wondering what would happen if things were different, if I never met Michael, if my parents truly loved me, if my brother never left… The spiral is an easy slide to take until only despair and unhappiness are my friends. The budding woman my brother saw as I decided to rent an apartment two weeks ago is gone.

I gave them my best smile, my head held high but this can't be my entire existence. Hiding under my covers on my day off until the nightmares go away is no way to live.

The heat grows to something almost unbearable, shooting through my limbs as I wrap my arms around my stomach and curl in on myself. At the academy, I could easily call a rent-an-Alpha service to take care of this pesky little problem. Here, I have no idea how that works or if the town of Emsboro even has one. Being only 21, most services try to direct me to an Omega Center because I ‘ still have so much life ahead of me’ . But I don’t want a pack who wants me for my scent.

I want a little romance. A family. A forever. Is that too much to ask?

When another wave of heat washes over me, I kick off the blankets and reach for my phone. That’s when I see my brother, Joel’s worried messages.

Hey, are you doing alright?

If you’re up for it, can you call me?

Nala, I know we don’t know each other like we used to but I know something is wrong. Talk to me.

My heart breaks a little. Joel used to be my best friend, my hero, and my entire world until he left home. As a Beta, he wasn’t tied down by the same rules I was. Our parents were abusive at best but I still blamed him for leaving me with them—even if it wasn’t his fault.

A few years at the academy gave me the tools I needed to graduate but also stuck me in a nightmare that I thought Michael was going to save me from. Instead, it just threw me into a different hell. Two weeks ago, through Michael’s own mistakes, I found my brother and his pack.

And I couldn’t be happier knowing I have family a few blocks down the street but there’s still something missing. It’s why I’m in this little room and not in their guest bedroom, rocking my little nephews to sleep. I decide to call my brother in the morning but the phone suddenly rings, Joel’s number scrolling across the screen.

Fuck.

“Yeah?”

Joel sighs, relieved. “Nala? It’s good to hear your voice. I haven’t seen you in a day or two and I was—”

“I’m okay,” I whisper. “Why are you calling? It’s late.” I’m not okay. I can’t sleep and my heat is starting but Joel doesn’t need to know any of that. More than anything, I want him to have the happy ending that I’m refusing to let myself entertain.

A chuckle comes through the earpiece. There’s some shuffling and then a whine before Joel starts humming. A smile spreads across my lips as I try to guess which one of my nephews is the one keeping everyone up in the house. Probably Leo. “Leo’s been a bit fussy. I offered to take him and then I saw you read my messages. Nala, I hate that you’re in that apartment all alone. You didn’t need to move out. There’s more than enough room here. I just got you back and now I feel like you’re pulling away.”

Tears fill my eyes as I try to keep from letting my emotions surface. Joel only remembers me as the little girl who idolized him at home—he has no idea what I went through, the nights I spent hating my designation, and the days I wished someone would just end my suffering. Joel and his pack believe no one touched me at the academy. They would be right. Unfortunately, the leering and reaching and putting me on display against my will while they find their release was so much worse.

I swallow a whine as I curl into myself tighter, ignoring the heat in the pit of my belly. Images plague me every night of those Alphas, pleasuring themselves, yelling obscene things as they all promised me a future I wouldn’t be able to resist. All the while I just stood there, hoping and praying the night would end. Every Saturday for three years, I was dragged into that room to be their object for the evening. Saying no was worse than being objectified as my scent burst through the room.

I can still hear their grunts and growls and pleasured sighs as they spilled their release at the edge of my cage until a step in any direction would coat my bare feet in a sea of cum. Nothing rids me of those moments. Nothing. It's like I never left the academy, like there's no safe place regardless of how much distance I put between myself and that place.

“Nala, I know you need time but you don’t have much of it. Dr. Ashford says you’re due for a heat at any moment.”

Fuck, I forgot I was still on the phone. I scrunch my eyes shut, trying to block out the doctor appointment Kieran coaxed me into going to. I thought it had been for my baby nephews and instead found myself under the microscope. “I know,” I mumble. Calling the rent-an-Alpha service is my best bet or asking Dr. Ashford if he’ll sedate me. “I’ll figure it out.” My thoughts move to Xylo’s brother, Bear, who’s been unofficially tasked as my protective detail. I've asked what his real role is and the brothers keep saying they just want to make sure that I'm safe.

Tense laughter spills through the phone. “Nala, you don’t have to do this alone. You have three very willing individuals hovering around you, all eager to be noticed and accepted by you. Please tell me you aren’t planning to use one of those services?”

My nose turns up at the way Joel says that even if I know he’s saying it out of love. “I don’t have three. Bear is just protecting me.” Even as the words tumble from my lips, I know that isn’t true. A tendril of jealousy runs through me at the thought of anyone taking that man from my side. “And it doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t work anyway.”

“Just think about it. You deserve happiness just as much as everyone else if not more. Get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

I hang up without answering, my body growing hot as I look up the number for the local rent-an-Alpha service, praying that they service this area. “Hello?”

“You’ve reached the Ohio Rent-an-Alpha service. May I ask who’s calling and what services you need?”

I run through the same requirements I always give; a soft Alpha, my address, the size of my room, and my limits. When I get to my personal details, I get the same response I always do.

“21? That’s really young, Ms. Guthrie. Let me refer you to the Omega Center in Havens Creek, Ohio, about twenty minutes from where you are. I’m sure they’ll have some scent cards that you’d find interesting. You’re so young and you have your entire life—” Click.

I don’t need a fucking pack. I need to get through this heat without being attacked by an Alpha or stuffed in a cage with slick running down my legs as they get off on my scent. My next call will be to Dr. Ashford tomorrow morning to see if he’ll sedate me for the next few days. Even as that thought runs through my head, my Omega pines for the three that have situated themselves around me.

I can’t have them but my Omega hasn’t gotten the fucking memo.