Absolute Devotion (An Omega’s Preference #3)

2. Zahria

two

ZAHRIA

I stare at the brownish liquid in my mug, grimacing at how long it’s been sitting there. The milk has started to separate from the mixture, little grease spots bubbling along the time which just tells me how cheap the coffee brand Xylo swiped from the store is. Unable to sleep, I thought a good dose of caffeine and reviewing case files would tear my thoughts from the beautiful Omega who's captured my attention. A few weeks ago, I had been stuck in the dreary woods of Grimsby, Vermont and now I’m trying to find my footing in Emsboro, Ohio, across the street from the pack that brought us all together.

Had Michael, a rogue agent of POCA, stopped being a shit in Grimsby after being locked up, I would have never found myself here, pining over a pair of bold green eyes and the most precious smile in the entire world. Nala is both fierce and timid, wrapped up in a little ball of uncertainty. The world dealt her a bad hand, Nala believing that she will be better off on her own than in the comfort of my arms. Not that I have given her much to work with.

A heavy sigh falls from my lips as I grab the mug and dump it in the sink, opting to make a fresh pot. It’s just past three am and there’s no use trying to go back to bed now. Heavy steps slap against the tile into the kitchen, a grouchy Beta glaring at me as he tries to wake up. His mussed dirty blond hair hangs over his eyes, his jaw pulled tight in annoyance that I left the bed. “What are you doing awake?” Xylo muses as he stalks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist before pulling me into his chest.

At a few inches over five feet, Xylo towers over my small form. Most people think he’s the Alpha in this strange relationship and they’d be even more convinced if they knew he was the dominant one in the bedroom. I enjoy my day job as a detective, commanding respect and obedience but at home? I gladly hand that task over to Xylo.

He runs his nose along the top of my head, watching intently as I prepare another pot. “Zahria, why are you up right now? Couldn’t sleep?”

Xylo knows why I’m awake. It’s the same reason he’s awake. Nala . The problem is that we can’t do anything about it because she’s not ready for what we have to offer. Whatever happened at the academy she left scarred her. She flinches when she doesn’t think we’re watching, her eyes wide as they search for any possible threats. The few times she’s allowed me to sit on her bed and pull her close are moments I constantly replay in my head.

It isn’t enough but if we push, we’ll lose her.

“Just thinking about the task force Chief Hart is setting up,” I lie. As important as this investigation is, my thoughts are firmly focused on Nala and making sure she’s safe. An organization tasked with stealing prized or unconventional Omegas has been slowly unraveling but there are still a few stragglers, Alphas that need to be apprehended before anyone else is hurt. Chief Hart thought it best that he create a fact-finding task force comprised of individuals with the most experience to locate the last few.

Unfortunately, we’re still waiting in the wind two weeks after Michael was killed by the very Omega he was hunting. A chuckle falls from my lips at the irony of Kieran tearing apart the man of his nightmares. Very few victims get the chance to stand up to their abusers. Hell, even Nala swung a pan at the man’s head, protecting her nephews—Kieran’s sons. She made me so fucking proud and I still can’t even call her mine.

“Bullshit,” Xylo barks out, leaning back against the corner. He folds his arms across his chest, the ink covering his left side rippling as his muscles constrict and flex. “She’ll be okay. Bear is looking after her.” He throws me a sloppy smile and I scowl in response.

Xylo’s brother is an enigma at best, a P.I. that sings to his own tune and an Alpha that I’ve only actually seen a few times. He prefers his silence but apparently, he’s been watching out for Nala and Kieran the last two weeks in the shadows. Or, however he does it. “Please tell me that Bear has at least introduced himself to Nala? Xylo, she’s fucking skittish as it is, and sticking some unknown detail on her is going to terrify her.”

He merely shrugs, reaching over to drag me into his chest again. “They’ve met.”

I angle my chin against his chest and narrow my gaze up at him. “Xylo.”

“I fucking love it when you say my name, Ria. Yes, I introduced them and made sure she knew that Bear would keep her safe. It’s not perfect but I don’t trust anyone at the station to do it right. She didn’t mind his scent and he hasn’t said anything so I assume they’re okay.”

That’s an awful explanation but he’s blind where his brother is concerned—the apple of his eye, someone to look up to, his hero, and everything else. I can’t blame Xylo for it because Bear is not only a decorated officer, but his skills have come in handy once or twice during this investigation.

A heavy sigh falls from my lips as the coffee maker dings, liquid pouring into the pot. “I’m going to check on her this afternoon. Something’s off and she didn’t respond to my text message yesterday.”

“You’re going to smother her.”

“No, I’m just worried.” It’s more than that, like some kind of connection between me and my Omega. Every emotion she feels tugs at my heartstrings. A whisper of her sweet lavender scent hangs around me, souring and darkening whenever her thoughts consume her. It makes it nearly impossible to focus on anything else and yet, we aren’t mated. The strength of this forming bond, though, can’t be denied.

I slip from Xylo’s hold so that I can ignore the tight expression on his face. Pouring a healthy serving of coffee does little to release the tension from the kitchen though. “You can feel her, can’t you?” Xylo finally asks. “Ria, you’re already bonded to her, aren’t you?”

My heart sinks into my stomach. Being apart from my Omega so soon after the bond is formed is killing a small part of me—even if my physical bite isn't on her body. I wrap my hands tightly around the porcelain, turning to meet his worried gaze. If there’s someone who won’t judge me, it’s Xylo. “All the fucking time. Every little emotion, the terror, the happiness, the nightmares. It’s physically painful and yet I can’t do anything. I was at the top of my fucking class in ranger school and have a 90% solve rate back in Grimsby but that means nothing if I can’t help my own Omega.” Feeling helpless isn’t something I’m used to. When Xylo’s jaw twitches, his expression tightening, I see the truth. “You feel the bond, too.”

“I’m trying not to.”

I’m about to ask why when he runs a hand down his face, a heavy sigh falling from his lips.

“I can’t do rejection, Ria. Not again.”

I lower my mug to the counter and step up to him again, his scent thickening until my purr surfaces, trying to calm my mate. I press a kiss just over his heart where my bite is, “What do you mean ‘not again’?” We may have only been together for a few weeks but I thought something this heavy would have surfaced. “You were mated before?”

Xylo shakes his head, chewing on his bottom lip as he tries to find the right words. Several moments pass by as I study his expression, failing to grab the story before he spills it. “I’m saying that Nala isn’t the first Omega I’ve been attracted to. It was a long time ago but she wasn’t our scent match. Bear and I thought we were in love, were going to spend a forever with this woman and it imploded in our faces. Zahria, don’t look at me like that. It’s different with Nala. I crave her. I’m fucking obsessed, wanting to see that smile on her face again, to feel her happiness, to see her want to be with us. My brother’s even worse. Neither one of us will survive another heartbreak and that’s why I’m not getting my hopes up and leaning into this bond. I can’t do it.”

The torture in his brown eyes speaks volumes. It never occurred to me that what he experienced could be keeping him from pursuing Nala, just as it’s keeping her from accepting us. “Xylo, how come you didn’t say anything?”

“We had other priorities.” He shrugs as if it’s no big deal.

I reach up to press a hand to his chest, waiting for him to accept my touch. His shoulders relax, his body sagging against the counter as I lay another soft kiss over my bite. “You’re a priority too, Xylo. You will always be a priority. This won’t work if we pick and choose who is most important.”

Xylo pushes off the counter, shaking his head. “I want to see the world the way you do, Zahria. Fuck, it must be beautiful.” Then he heads back down the hall, leaving me alone with my fresh coffee and a bout of helplessness. We might break before we even start.