Accidentally Under Your Tree (Grand Ridge Christmas #1)

22. Lizzy

twenty-two

Lizzy

Three nights before Christmas

Will and I arrived home from shopping just before Rose. I hurried to my bedroom to stuff my bags into the closet. As soon as she stepped through the garaged door, she began flitting around the kitchen.

"I found this recipe for a Christmas sangria. I'm gonna throw it together. You want some?" she offered, her voice muffled from the other side of my wall.

"Should we get ready for the thing at the school?" Will asked.

"We have time. I could use a drink."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah." She called out, "Anne, you want a glass?"

A smile split across my face. The delight of being included by her was still very real. I didn't have to tamper it when no one could see me. "Yes, please."

I stepped into the hallway to find Rose bright faced and energetic, a little frantic.

Will and I hovered around the kitchen island while Rose poured ingredients into a pitcher. He rubbed circles on my back, and I closed my eyes, savoring his touch, even if my parents could walk into the room at any moment. I wanted to live in the bubble where it was okay for us to be affectionate for a while longer.

After pouring three champagne flutes, Rose immediately lifted hers to her lips downing the contents then stared into space. I sent Will a questioning glance, but he just shrugged.

"I'm gonna go get ready." He placed a kiss at my temple before leaving.

I felt it in the safety of my rib cage. A seed that had been sowed and sprouted but was now beginning to bloom. My emotions were too tender. I wanted this too much. It would hurt too badly for it to fall apart.

Rose glanced down the hallway after the door closed behind him. "I assume Mom and Dad aren't home?"

"I don't think so."

Whatever veil was draped over her slipped away. Her eyes brightened with a mischievous glint. "So, you hung out with Bill?"

I bit my lower lip, looking down at the countertop. "Yeah, Mom sent us off Christmas shopping. Is that okay?"

"Why would you need my permission?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I don't wanna blow your cover."

She snorted. "It's cool. I want it to work out for you two."

"Thanks." A swirl of butterflies flitted around my heart. "Is he really as great as he seems?"

"He is."

"Why didn't you two…"

"You haven't noticed the lack of chemistry?"

I rolled my eyes. "I saw that kiss the other morning. Haunting. But like, why?"

"Bill and I are just not it, you know?" In one big gulp, she downed her beverage. "I seem to only have fuck buddies and platonic friendships."

"Recently?"

She nodded, staring down at her empty glass. "And not recently."

"Since?"

"Yup."

"There hasn't been anyone since Lawrence?"

She pinched her lips to one side. Raising an eyebrow, she shook her head.

Staring into the middle distance, misery seated in the corners of her eyes. "He was there today. In the group with Olivia."

"You, okay?"

Swallowing the remaining contents of her drink, she shrugged. "I don't know if I have been in a long time."

I wanted to hug her, but the new rules of our relationship were unclear. Instead, I uttered an impotent, That sucks .

I turned her words over. Realizing just how much Rose had lost over one decision she'd made when she was eighteen. Lawrence and I had been load-bearing pillars of her support system. To have both of us knocked out from underneath her must have left her crumbling. While I'd been swallowed by depression and fear at my first life experience alone. So had she. It'd just shown differently.

But we were both keeping the world at arm's length.

The question remained…

Could I break the pattern?

I’d pulled my hair into a headache inducing bun, and the woman sitting next to me in the high school auditorium wore a too sweet perfume. My sweater dress was hot and itchy around my neck as the students in the orchestra played an extra melancholy and poorly timed, I'll be Home for Christmas. I'd considered staying home, but our cousin Violet played the flute. So, just like all the other dutiful friends and family members, I waited for the concert to end.

We all filed into the cafeteria afterwards for juice from an Igloo cooler with a spout at the bottom and store-bought sugar cookies. They had strung red and green streamers and balloons along the brown brick walls. Rose and Will lingered next to the entrance talking but not looking at each other, as if they were characters in a spy movie scoping out the place. They really did have terrible chemistry. It was a shock that their fans were hungry for a relationship between them.

I might be biased. Or I knew what Will was like when he liked someone—instead of just being a good friend.

I followed my parents, waving hello to old classmates and former teachers, until we were standing next to Violet and her friends. A girl with dark curly hair widened her eyes as she registered my face. But I couldn't imagine why. I didn't think I knew her.

"You all did such a good job!" Mom wrapped her niece in a hug.

"Thank you," Violet said, in her usual distracted way. Ever since she was little, she'd had a spacey way about her.

Her friend scrolled on her phone, then paused and showed the screen to a tall blond girl. They both looked at me. I stilled to resist fidgeting from one foot to the other. I couldn't fathom how I had become the center of their attention, and I knew from being one, teenage girls were terrifying.

Dad threw an arm around Violet's shoulders. "It was good."

"Thanks, Uncle Jim."

"Hey," the first girl stepped toward me, "you're Rose's sister, right? Rose from Will it Bloom? Renovations "

"Uh, yeah."

"Are you like friends with Bill, too?"

Mom sent me a questioning look. I shrugged back, certain that my face was growing bright red. "Sure."

"Okay, 'cause I saw this adorable picture of you, and I was like, 'Oh my God, is he becoming besties with her sister too!' Like, could he be more perfect?"

My fingers tingled from adrenaline. In my chest, my heart pounded like a tiger was chasing me. "Picture?"

"I wouldn't call him perfect ," Dad whispered to Mom, and she elbowed him in the ribs.

I opened my mouth to tell my dad he was wrong, but then the girl held her phone a few inches from my nose. The image was a blur of color and light until I leaned far enough away.

"Jeez, don't shove your phone in her face," the tall blond admonished.

"Sorry." The girl pulled her phone back a few inches, but I could make out the image. In it, I was mid eye roll and smiling. In my hands, I held a Christmas chessboard. And he looked at me with the warmest affection. So warm I could feel it through the phone.

The girl put a hand on her hip. "Some of the comments are dumb, like thinking that he's cheating on Rose with you. But I was all, ‘ She's her sister. Obviously, she and Will are friends .’"

I didn't have enough saliva in my mouth to speak, not that I knew what to say, anyway. Jerking my head, I managed something like a nod.

"Well, now Rose will know you two went shopping for her," Mom said, shaking her head. "Is that the gift you got her?"

"One of them," I forced out. My eyes flicked left to right, feeling as if everyone was looking at me. The picture was innocent. It could have been worse. But I still felt the violation of my privacy. We were just at a store. Why would someone take a secret photo of us and then post it on the Internet? We hadn't even started dating, and I didn't want even this amount of attention.

"You bought her a chessboard? Does she play?"

"I don't… I don't know. It's funny," I argued. "The pawns are elves and they're all smiling. It's like they're happy to go die for Santa and Mrs. Claus."

My parents and the high schoolers considered me with disturbed looks.

Swallowing, I swiped a hand over my bun. "Rose will think it's funny."

"I'm sure she will," Mom replied after a beat. But she didn't sound convinced. I didn't really care. I needed a quiet spot to think and regain my composure.

It's not a big deal. It's just a stupid picture.

But it was more than that. It was a microscope I didn't want to be under. A magnifying glass that would leave me burnt.