twenty-three
Will
Three nights before Christmas
"We should tell your parents tonight," I said to Rose's profile. She was staring at something just past my shoulder, not registering I was even speaking. I followed her gaze.
Lawrence stood with his back to us.
"Rose." This time, I spoke with enough force in my voice to get her attention. "We need to end the lie. It's gone too far. I want to tell your parents tonight."
A crease formed between her eyebrows. "That we broke up or…?"
I shook my head, looking far more confident than I felt. "That we've been lying to them."
"No. Nope. They'll freak out."
"We are not pulling this off. We're going to get caught if we keep this up. It's better to get ahead of it."
"We're doing fine."
"I'm not keeping my distance from Lizzy, and I don't want to." I admitted with a heavy omission of fucking around in the basement. "And you"—I jerked my head in Lawrence's direction, where Rose's attention had already wandered—"are not being as discrete as you think, either."
She pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I don't want to keep lying. Particularly, not about Lizzy—"
"We are not telling my parents in the same conversation that we lied about dating and you having the hots for my sister," Rose interrupted.
Exhaling a deep breath, I agreed, "That's probably smart."
She smirked. "So, it's unlike us?"
"Practically opposites." I nudged her shoulder with mine. "We can wait a couple of days and announce an amicable breakup online."
"I really don't want to tell my mom and dad." She pleaded.
"I think we should." I scraped my toe on a black scuff mark on the tile floor. "We shouldn't have lied to them to begin with."
"Fine…we'll tell them tonight when we get home."
"Thanks."
I found Lizzy standing with her parents and a group of high schoolers. One of the orchestra kids held her phone in front of Lizzy's face. She stilled like she did when she was nervous.
I rubbed at the back of my neck, my muscles knotting into one. My throat closed, dreading what could be on that screen. With numb fingers, I slid my phone from my pocket and pulled up the show's most popular profile. The half a second it took for it to load was the longest in my life. My heart beat a panicked rhythm in my ears.
My breath rushed from my lungs. Relief washing over me and drying the cold sweat that had beaded on my forehead.
There was a picture of me and Lizzy, but it was as innocent as I could hope for. In the shot we were standing far enough apart, our facial expressions innocent. Some comments were suspicious, but nothing too bad. She had been nervous a few seconds ago, but she was probably experiencing the same wash of comfort I was.
If I needed any more reason to end the lie, dodging this bullet would have been it.
I turned to show Rose, only to find the space where she'd been at my side was empty and I hadn't even heard her leave. I'd been too absorbed in Lizzy.
I didn't bother to look if Lawrence were still with the group he'd been in.
I knew he wasn't.
My stomach dropped for the second time in less than a minute.
"Where's Rosie?" Kelly asked at my side. I jumped, caught off-guard yet again. The women of this family moved with incredible stealth.
Jim and Lizzy joined us.
I shoved my phone back into my pocket. My attempt to not look at Lizzy failed, instead I answered her mom while looking directly into Lizzy's eyes. "I don't know. She was just right here."
"We were just going to head out," Kelly explained. "She couldn't have gone far."
We'd all arrived together, piled in the family minivan. So, if Kelly said it was time to go, then it was time.
"I'll text her," I said, but Kelly was already walking down the hall toward the dark auditorium. Her heels clicking in contrast to the heavy footfalls of Jim's boots at her side, her arm hooked in his.
Lizzy chewed at the cuticles of her thumb, and I paused in typing the message to Rose. "What's wrong?"
Crossing her arms on her chest, Lizzy shook her head. "Nothing."
"Are you sure?"
The jerk of her head was the only answer she gave me. Turning, she followed her parents. Her back was ramrod straight.
Unease fitted back into my shoulders. I wanted to rush to her side, ask her if this was about the photo, but there were too many eyes around us.
I wasn't sure she wanted me near her, or worse, that she might actually want distance. Which was the exact opposite of what I wanted.
We'd had a fun day, been freer with each other than we should have been. But in the end, what I was offering her was empty. I was still hiding. The pale shadow of what we could become was bullshit if all I could give her was kisses in the dark and nothing else.
A loud gasp snapped my head up.
"Mom," Rose's surprised voice called from inside the opened door of the auditorium.
"What the hell?" Jim demanded louder than I'd ever heard him be before.
"Shit," a man hissed. I didn't have to see him to know, without a doubt, it was Lawrence.
My jaw tightened grinding my teeth. I took the last few steps through the open doors. The aisle lights in the floor were the only illumination in the spacious room. The darkness ate it up, leaving just the outlines of Lizzy and her family and Lawrence visible. The outline of a jaw, a shoulder, the angry wrinkles on Jim's forehead. Rose and Lawrence tucked into a darkened corner, standing far too closely as if they'd just been in each other's arms.
I knew this lie would blow up in our faces, but I thought it would be my fault.
It might have been na?ve, but instead of anger or irritation, I felt sympathy for my friend who could have everything she wanted if she'd just let down her guard for a moment.
"I can explain," Rose tried.
"Explanation is unnecessary." Kelly shot a glance at me.
"Mom. Dad." Rose held her hands out, a silent plea in her palms.
Lawrence considered me out of the corner of his eye, as if guilt kept him from looking at me straight on. His weight was on the leg furthest from me, ready for an attack.
Jim placed a hand on my shoulder. "Don't do it. Not here."
I loosened the clench of my jaw, realizing how tightly bound my muscles were. It took a few seconds of focus to relax my stance. My concern must have looked like aggression with my hands fisted at my sides. No wonder Lawrence was watching me like I was a danger to him.
"It's time to go." Jim urged me to turn away, but my feet were still planted.
Unshed tears glistened in Rose's eyes. Lawrence's head hung in shame.
Just inside the door, Lizzy stood holding her elbow with one hand and the other pressed to her mouth. I wanted nothing more than to get her and her sister home. To take this mess we'd made somewhere private.
Scraping my palm over my lips, I nodded to Jim.
"Good for you, son," he spoke to my back.
It was my turn to hang my head.