Aching for His Discretion (The Discretion Dynasty #1)

50. Levi

Chapter fifty

Levi

L ove is complicated. The love we have for someone can either be endless or nonexistent. There’s no in-between… at least for me there isn’t.

“You can take it, baby…” I muttered as my sweet Tesoro clenched the sheets, whimpering slightly. Leaning over, I placed a kiss in her hair before pushing my cock deeper into her little pussy.

She arched her back and looked back at me as I made her take it from behind. It’d been two years ; four hours of sex to make up for lost time shouldn’t be all that bad.

It would be childish to say she started it, as she was the one who initiated the intimacy in the car earlier, but it was true nonetheless. She was still a little nympho, and unfortunately, she had to learn what happened when you poked the beast.

“I can’t,” she whispered, tears in her eyes, and I shushed her softly as I felt her little cunt tighten.

“You can, Tesoro, you want to, baby… I can feel it. Come on,” I urged her, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head as a smile came to my face.

“That’s it… come on, baby, make me cum. Squeeze my cock… good fucking girl,” I groaned as I finally came.

She lay on the bed feeling spent, and I placed a few kisses on her back as her eyes fluttered to sleep. I would need to get her all cleaned up soon, but for now, I just admired her beauty.

It’d been a while since I felt an intense surge of anger as I did at the restaurant, but miraculously, it didn’t backfire on me… it actually brought us closer together.

And even though I’d lost my temper, I still had control.

Two Years Ago

“It’s been three days since Teegan left to begin her residency in Maryland. How do you feel, Mr. Amante?” Ronan asked, crossing his legs and playing the therapist role all too well.

I sighed, playing with the scrunchie on my wrist that she had left over at my place many months ago.

“Like I should take the four-hour drive and drag her back,” I replied truthfully.

He tilted his head to the side. “But you can’t do it...”

“I won’t do it,” I muttered, a mix of frustration and resignation in my voice, and he hummed in response.

“And why is that?”

“Because I have control. I’m controlling the way I love her,” I replied, and he nodded.

“Finally catching on, I see?” he asked, and I rolled my eyes at his antics.

“And your father?” he asked, and I shrugged.

“I’m dealing with it.”

“Is that so,” he muttered knowingly, and in an instant I knew exactly what his next words would be. Part of me now regretted even coming in the first place. “At the same time, have you begun ‘dealing’ with the fact that your mother passed?” he asked.

I remained silent. I would probably have never known my mother had passed if one of Antonio’s men didn’t fill me in a month or so ago.

Hardest thing about it was not feeling anything when he’d told me it was by the hands of my own father. At some point, I barely knew who she was anymore. She was living for my father, no longer for me or herself. He had already mentally killed her; it was only a matter of time until he actually murdered her.

“I’ll have time to grieve when I murder the bastard who killed her,” I replied, annoyed that we’d steered to this topic in the first place.

“Well, here’s an idea. Since Teegan is going to be away, let’s put the focus on finding your father. That way, you have something to keep your mind occupied for the time being. While we’re at it, we’ll focus on channeling some emotions behind that steel wall of yours to process your relationship with your mother.”

“And after that?” I asked, and he shook his head.

“Kill your father first... worry about the future afterward.”

A Few Days Ago

“I think I’m finally fixed…” I muttered, and Ronan sighed as he checked his watch.

“Is that the reason you are here in my office at seven in the morning.”

“Yes,” I responded.

He shook his head as he stood up with a few folders and walked over to his file cabinet.

“You’re not fixed, Levi. Can’t fix what was never broken,” he muttered.

I nodded. “I’m going to go see her in a day or two.”

“You haven’t contacted her in quite some time. Is this decision well thought out and planned?” he asked, and I sighed.

“It should be… but I have no idea how she’ll respond to me,” I admitted, and he nodded.

“A surprise visit can only have so many outcomes,” he replied and walked back over to lean against his desk.

“You finished paying off your debt,” I muttered, and he shrugged.

“Only took a few years.”

“Then I guess this is goodbye...” I said, standing up from the sofa, and he nodded.

“I never thought I’d see the day,” he whispered thankfully, and I gave a small smile.

“Neither did I,” I simply replied before turning to walk away. However, I stopped when I reached the doorknob.

“There is… one thing I forgot to do,” I muttered, and he tilted his head as I looked over my shoulder to him.

“And what would that be?” he asked, and before he could even notice, my gun was raised, and I shot a bullet straight through his chest. His face dropped at the realization, and I listened to him tumble to the ground, groaning in pain as he began to cough up blood.

Receiving a text, I ignored him as I stepped out of the room for a moment to have a better look at the message.

Rivera: She just left for the hospital.

I tilted my head in confusion as I opened another app. That seems a bit odd. Her necklace is still at the apartment complex. The tracker seemed to be in optimal condition… so she had to have taken it off. Silly girl.

“H-Help me,” I heard the fucker behind me beg, and I glared at him.

“You shut the fuck up!” I practically growled as he bled out on the floor.

Looking back at my phone, I received a message from Dr. Lombardi , my own personal doctor whom I sent to oversee Teegan at John Hopkins.

It was the link to the security camera in the front of the hospital. Opening it, I watched as my sweet Tesoro walked into the hospital… as I did every morning at 7:12 AM. She had a strict schedule… I had to be on time; I couldn’t possibly miss seeing her walk inside.

Make sure she has enough time to eat today. She needs to have her lunch and her snack break.

Dr. Lombardi: Of course, sir.

Switching to the hall of the hospital, I paused the video as I looked at my pretty girl… she was as beautiful as always. She would’ve looked even more beautiful had she worn the diamond necklace I’d given her, but she was forgiven. I’d always forgive you, Tesoro… I even forgive you for leaving me for the last two years... but I won’t forget. Not at all, Tesoro.

I can’t lose you again. I won’t lose you again.

You belong to me.

And I’m changing Tesoro… I changed for you. I noticed my mistakes, learned from them… grew. I knew I had to get control of myself before I lost you, and that is what I did.

But you know I couldn’t let you go too far now, did you? The only thing the lying, stealing, conniving therapist actually truly helped me with… was control .

And now that I have control, Tesoro... there’s only one thing I need, one thing I need to win back. You .

Arriving in Baltimore by plane was the easy part. Mustering up the courage to face you, Tesoro, would be the more challenging part. Nonetheless, it had to be done. Walking up to the complex, I looked around the lobby momentarily as I heard a bit of shuffling in the back office.

I rang the bell once, only to hear Rivera’s voice letting me know he’d be just a second. He stepped out of the office after a moment and stopped in his tracks by the doorway. The color seemed to drain from his face as I cracked my neck to the side.

“Thought you’d be more excited to see me,” I muttered.

He reluctantly sighed as he walked over to the front desk slowly. “She’s not here right now,” he muttered.

I nodded as I gazed toward the steps. “Oh, I know.”

He took a seat in the office chair and crossed his arms, the gears in his mind turning at my presence.

“I don’t think she’s ready yet. The boys told me they just noticed she wasn’t wearing the necklace.”

Looking down at my phone, I sighed, placing it in my pocket as I walked over to the staircase.

“Yeah. I noticed, too,” I muttered as I ascended them and walked over to her apartment door.

Opening it with the key, I stepped in, only to be met with a low purr. Looking over my shoulder as I pushed the door closed, I turned back to see the cat making its way over to me.

Reluctantly, I opened my arms, allowing him to jump into them as he continued purring. Setting him on my shoulder, I entered her space further. It was as if she hadn’t changed. Her soft, girly, beige theme was still going strong, and the smell of fresh lilacs and laundry still filled the air.

Proceeding into her bedroom slowly, my eyes locked on the necklace by her nightstand. Moving over to it, I ran my finger over the diamond pendant as it brought back memories of our time together. It was sentimental this gift I’d given her… for the both of us, really. I’d given her a piece of me, and she’d accepted it. But she was ready to let it go… she was ready to let me go.

That’s why I had to come. It couldn’t have been anymore perfect timing, either. The day I said I was cured and killed my therapist was the same day the love of my life was going to let me go. The day I finally realized I changed... was the day she wanted to give up on us.

And as much as I’d changed… I wasn’t going to let that happen.