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AJ’s Fire (Hampstead Valley #3) Chapter 3 17%
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Chapter 3

Chapter Three

AJ

Sure, Jackson had been acting weird for months, but sometimes he wasn’t the only one to act weird. We were on shift at the station in the fall, months after our weird New Year’s Eve, and a bunch of the crew were participating in a “who has the longest second toe” contest. But that was just the everyday weirdness that went on when we had down time at the fire station.

I was sprawled out on one of the couches in the lounge, watching a bunch of idiots with one shoe and one sock off, passing a ruler around. I had my phone in hand. A text from my stepmother asked me if I had any time off for the Thanksgiving holiday, and it stared back at me as if it could mimic Nat’s intense gaze. Separately, Jamie had texted and begged me to take time off so that we could both head north to our father and stepmother’s for the long weekend.

Jamie: If you have to work, Nat will make them come down here.

Then before I could even respond:

Jamie: ALL OF THEM, AJ!

Jamie: I know you have vacation you never use. TAKE THE WEEKEND OFF! Hell, take a day off. I promise to do all the driving.

I didn’t mean to string my brother along by not answering, but my best friend started hobbling toward me, one boot in hand, a ridiculous smile on his face.

The thing was, I hadn’t seen that smile all fucking year, and watching him waddle toward me made this strange feeling well up in my chest. It was relief and joy, like seeing him happy was the most important thing to me, like it was the beating of my heart itself. My chest tightened, and my stomach swooped as his eyes danced and his grin widened. I had really been missing my best friend.

He plunked down on the far end of the couch, where my feet were propped, and got to work putting his sock and boot back on.

Jackson's blond hair was shorn close, having recently been cut, but he ran his hands through it as if it still had that length to it that used to flop in front of his eyes. The thought of him yanking his hair back the way he used to when he was chatting up a girl at the bar, that shy smile and eye-dancing charm that won people over wherever we were, brought a smile to my face and ignited the swooping feeling in my stomach all over again.

He was a little shorter than me and slight for a firefighter; I remembered thinking he wouldn’t make it as he and the chief walked toward me on his first day. In his mid-twenties, he had also been older than most probies on the day we met. But his handshake was confident, and his skills were well honed. Jackson was eager to learn and humble enough to understand that he needed to if he wanted to make it as part of Battalion Five. Jackson generally exudes an air of calm, which had served him well over the five years we’d worked together at that point. Seeing him quietly distressed, as he’d been for months, was a departure from the friend I knew.

He tapped one of my boots to get my attention.

“Freeda, by the way.”

“Huh? What about her?”

He nodded his head in the direction he’d just come from.

“She’s the winner. She gets out of truck-washing duty for two weeks.”

I shook my head at my friend and laughed.

“You’re headed home for the holiday, right?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Jackson nodded, then lowered his head and his voice to say, “We’re going to the Hamptons house this year. My parents are throwing a fundraiser the weekend before, so I’ll be on leave for a few days. We’re just going to do Thanksgiving there at the beach house. It’s nice that we’re off schedule for once. Are you going up to Hampstead?”

“Yeah, yeah. My brother’s pestering me already about driving up.” Jackson smirked at me.

“What?” I implored.

“You know.” He smiled. “You bitch about that family of yours, but I know you love spending time with them. You’ll have fun. Meanwhile, I’ll be shoved into a suit, shoved next to Emily, told to smile, and instructed to avoid questions about my life.”

Much as Jackson and I had clicked from that first unexpected handshake, he had kept his family life fairly private for the first year or so that I’d known him. Then one night we followed these two women out of one of our favorite haunts, O’Doyle’s, and they insisted they wanted to go to a trendy club in Manhattan.

When we got there, the line was around the block, and I suggested someplace a little more low-key, but Jackson walked us past the long line of people, whispered something to the bouncer while he shook his hand, and we were immediately let in. After a few drinks, as we sat watching our dates out on the dance floor, I asked Jackson what magic he had pulled to get us in, and in his drunken state, he confessed to me that he was in fact a member of the Dorso family, as in Dorso Electronics.

The club wasn’t my type of place, all pulsing music and trendy clothes, but the women had fun, and, if memory serves, both Jackson and I didn’t go home alone that night. The next day at the station, I dragged Jackson downstairs to an empty classroom in the fire hall and made him fill me in on his parents, his ivy league education, and how, after receiving his master’s and spending one excruciating summer working in the Dorso corporate offices, he’d given it all up for a different type of education, training to become a firefighter.

I hadn’t interacted with members of Jackson’s family at that point in our friendship, but he told me that his parents were disappointed in his choice to become a firefighter.

“I’m supposed to be the head of this multi-million-dollar enterprise, and I came home one day and told them I was over it, moving to Brooklyn, and training to become a firefighter. I’m the only child of only children. Dorso Electronics belongs to me,” he said with a weighted voice. “I think they want to be supportive, but DE is as much their baby as I am. Their loyalties are split.”

“Jax, come on. That can’t be true.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before now?” I asked, and Jackson paused to think about it. It was one of my favorite things about my friend. He rarely gave flippant answers unless we were joking around.

“I don’t want everyone treating me differently, Aje. I don’t want people looking at me and seeing dollar signs.”

“I get that, Jax, but I wasn’t asking why you hadn’t told everyone , I was asking why you hadn’t told me . You have to know I don’t give a shit about that.” He looked at me intently, and I waited him out.

“I went to private school my whole life, with boarding school for high school. A very exclusive boarding school. So for the most part, I was with other people from backgrounds like mine. But when I got to college, it was different. People came from all walks of life, and either they didn’t want to hang out with me or only wanted to hang out with me because I was Riley Jackson Dorso the Second. Here, now, I’m just one of the guys, Aje, and that’s all I want to be. You … you make me feel like one of the guys, and I didn’t, I don’t want that to change. I don’t want anything to change between us. But I do trust you. That’s why I told you last night. You and I don’t really have secrets, do we?”

“Nah, we don’t. Not anymore, anyway. And bro code, man, you can trust me; I hope you know that. I won’t tell anyone.” I could see the tension leave Jackson’s body as he smiled so brightly it felt like he could light up the whole sad little classroom. My stomach may have swooped, sharing that smile with him back then. I ignored it.

“You’ll buy me a car, though, right?” That earned me a punch to the arm. He’d hit the spot so often I was surprised I didn’t have a permanent mark.

“Shut the fuck up, AJ. You hate driving. It’s the main reason you're a NYC firefighter and not a Hampstead Valley firefighter.” It was nice to be laughing with my best friend after he’d shared his secret with me.

“Maybe not the only reason.” I thought about my academic father and stepmother and how hard it was for me to be the only one of my dad’s adult children to not have gone to college. I imagined that Jackson must have had similar feelings about leaving his parent’s corporate world to fight fires. I thought for a minute on what I knew about the Dorsos and brought us back to the topic at hand. “You’ve managed to keep out of the public eye?” I questioned.

“Yeah.” He snorted. “Unlike my parents, I have kept a low profile. My parents worked hard for that when I was younger, but after I got my MBA, I think they were ready to shove me into the spotlight. That’s when I decided to change careers. Huh. Do you think that contributed to my decision?”

“I’m not the shrink, bro, you’ll have to ask my brother about that. Which you can do if you come to my niece’s birthday party next weekend. We can go to that bar near his house to watch the game after we make an appearance.”

“Is it Vera’s birthday already?”

I nodded. “Gonna be four.”

We were quiet then, sitting across from each other in uncomfortable, too-small chairs. I felt like there were no more secrets between us. That may have been the day I realized he was my best friend. I wasn’t sure why that made my heart pound and the muscles in my stomach tighten. Maybe it was worry about my friend or the realization that we had more in common than I would have ever thought.

“I …” I may have also realized that up until that point, our relationship mostly consisted of witty banter and talking about our shared experiences. I knew I wanted to share deeper thoughts with him, but I wasn’t sure how. “It was really hard for me to tell my parents that I didn’t want to go to college, that I wanted to do this instead.”

“It was so difficult for me that I got a master’s degree before I plucked up the nerve,” Jackson said. “Funny, I never thought about it, but this is something you and I have in common. I’m so glad I don’t have to hide this from you anymore. I should have told you before now, AJ. I’m sorry about that.”

“Wait? I thought you told me when we met that you weren’t related to Dorso Electronics. So, you just lie about it?”

“I never lie. I also never reply when people ask. I just change the subject.” His voice lowered for a moment, becoming almost reverent. “I remember that day, the day we met, and I remember shrugging and changing the conversation when you mentioned DE.”

“Jesus, Jax. Dorso Electronics. I promise I’ll get over it, but you gotta give me today, okay? To freak out a bit. This explains your condo.”

“I never lied to you about that either! I told you my parents helped me get it!”

“Yeah, you did. So they must be somewhat supportive.”

Jackson thought long and hard again. “If it wasn’t for the whole ‘only child inheritance’ thing, maybe they wouldn’t mind. But in reality, I think they think this is just some kind of phase, and if they let me get it out of my system, I’ll eventually come back into the fold. They keep trying to pull me back in.”

“How so?”

He sighed. “Do you know who Emily Wyecrest is?”

“The child actor? Vera loves her show.”

“Yeah, that’s her. But that show was filmed years ago. She’s actually my age, and her family owns Wyecrest Entertainment. We’ve never dated, but we’ve been friends forever, and we both sort of didn’t care if people thought we were together. Both of our sets of parents are very concerned about some gold digger swooping in and stealing from us. Stealing from our families. I’m pretty sure my parents taught me about prenups way before they sat me down for the talk .

“Right or wrong, it was like my parents didn’t trust me to make my own friends or my own decisions. Like I said, when I was in New Haven, I saw it for myself, people who only want to be friends because of your last name. After that, I understood better how it might be possible for someone to take advantage of the lonely heir to a vast fortune. Ems and I never dated, but it was easy enough to let people think we were. It offered a layer of protection.”

I was overwhelmed, thinking about vast fortunes and TV stars. I remember that we sat quietly for a moment and I remember the feeling of fire burning through me when he said what he said next.

“I don’t worry about you taking advantage of me, and that's really important to me, Aje.” The way my body burned terrified me, so I turned his admission into a joke.

“I can assure you I won’t ever take advantage of you by asking you to take me to another one of those loud, trendy clubs.”

He stared at me like he was looking for the truth of that statement in my eyes, but then he laughed it off.

“Sometimes I forget you're almost ten years older than me! That was the most old-man thing you’ve ever said.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jax. And thank you for saying that you trust me. It … it means a lot to me.” We sat uncomfortably, and it felt like we had more to say. My whole body was tense when it should have been relaxed, Jackson having done all the hard work with his confession. I continued to ignore the strange feeling and got us back on track. “Hey, man, when can I borrow your private jet?”

“Shut the fuck up, asshole.” He reached over and punched my arm again. “I don’t … Yeah, okay. No lies. We do have a private jet, but you and I are not taking it anywhere! The only time you leave Brooklyn is to go to your parents’ place by that college or their place at the beach. A jet would be overkill for either of those trips.” A light returned to Jackson’s eyes. “We should really just take the helicopter.”

“ We should take the helicopter, should we? Are you finally going to come up to Hampstead and meet my family? Actually, Jax, you should. My stepmom loves throwing parties. She's having an end-of-summer thing. What do you say? Get out of the city?”

Jackson and I managed to make it to a few parties up in Hampstead after that conversation, and I’d spent time at his grandparents’ cottage and the family’s beach compound on Long Island, but I’d never once met his parents, who Jackson claimed were always too busy for visits to Brooklyn. When he went to visit them, he dismissed it as an obligation, always tied to a charity or political event. He managed to stay out of photos, but I knew he had been to parties with movie stars and politicians, famous authors and personalities, and even the sitting president of the United States.

Over the years, we would talk about how we both felt we’d let our parents down with our career choice. To my parents’ credit, after an initial shock at my decision, they had never made me feel like I was a disappointment, but Jackson felt like he had let his parents down.

Sitting on a couch in the fire hall, watching my friend put his boot back on, I thought back to that conversation that had ended with us joking about taking a private helicopter to my family’s home while Jackson and I talked about Thanksgiving travel plans for that year.

I sat up on the couch. Jackson was sitting on the far end, leaning on the armrest, and I found myself pressed against the other side, as far from him as possible. Jackson had been pulling away from me since the summer, both mentally and physically. I rubbed my upper arm, trying to remember the last time Jackson had jokingly tapped me there. I didn’t like the distance between us, so from the far end of the couch, I insisted, “We never go out anymore! Tomorrow, you, me, Lucy's Taphouse. We need to get you laid!”

Jackson smiled and shook his head no even as he was saying yes. “You mean you want to get laid.” He paused and did that thing where he genuinely thought before he answered. “Yeah, sure, let’s go.”

If I was going to figure out how to fix us, I needed to figure out what had gone wrong. A night out at Lucy's Taphouse would hopefully do the trick.

I was on my way to the bar when his text came in.

Probie: Bringing Emily along. About time you two meet.

There was a tug to my insides at the news. As I walked, I decided it was a good sign. I would meet Emily, Jackson would announce they were dating, then we could go back to being friends. Not that we had stopped being friends; we’d just stopped hanging out. I didn’t care about the partying; without Jackson there, I’d basically given that up myself. I just missed my friend.

Coffee Trainer: Looking forward to it.

I used to enter Lucy's Taphouse like I owned the place, the conquering hero, letting it be known I was open to a good time. But more and more that felt like a performance, something I was supposed to do, not what I wanted to do. What I did want, I did not know.

Jackson was sitting at a high-top table near the bar, leaning close to Emily. She had wavy brown hair brushing her shoulders and from the seated position, seemed to almost match Jackson in height. She wasn’t too skinny, and her face lit up at whatever Jackson was saying when I swaggered into the room. She was exactly my type.

Jackson didn’t turn, making me realize I’d expected him to. Subconsciously, I was waiting for him to notice me and smile. That night, Jackson didn’t immediately turn and catch my eye, but it did appear that he stiffened as I entered. I assumed this had everything to do with the woman by his side, but it didn't stop that swooping feeling from making me uncomfortable and confused as I headed their way.

I placed my hands on Jackson’s shoulders from behind. He stiffened at my touch, which was not something I was used to. Behind him, my face fell. He hadn’t turned to see it, but Emily had.

Trying to ignore the sinking feeling that Jackson’s stiff shoulders produced in me, I smiled. “This must be the elusive Emily.”

She swung in her chair, brushing my thigh and not attempting to move. I politely took a step back, taking my hands off my best friend as part of the move. My eyes were on him, my concern evident as he looked up at me and gave me a small smile.

“The equally elusive AJ. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” She reached out her hand, and it took me a beat to reciprocate because my eyes weren’t on her and because she had said it like she was flirting. Oh, I was not going to like this woman if she was flirting with me right in front of Jackson.

Quietly, Jackson waved a hand between us. “Emily, AJ. AJ, Emily.”

“The new best friend meets the old best friend. Have a seat, AJ, let’s compare notes!” I could sense her trying to read my face as I tried desperately to read Jackson’s. I hated the thought that he felt the need to tense up just because I was there. Did he think I couldn’t handle him giving up our partying ways for the woman before me? The only thing I hated about the whole situation was that we weren’t spending time together. That and my swooping stomach, which would have had me worried about my health if it happened any other time than when I was with Jackson or thinking about Jackson. It swooped again right then and there as I was doing both.

“Emily, it’s a pleasure. My niece and I watched your show just last week.”

Jackson’s face lit up. “His niece is Vera. I told you about her. I help babysit sometimes.”

Emily didn’t miss a beat. “Of course. Jackson’s told me so much about you and your family. I’m so sorry about your sister-in-law.”

“That’s very kind of you,” I responded neutrally, and we started talking as I tried to scope out the person I thought had been keeping Jackson from me all summer.

Emily appeared sweet. She was smart and funny and seemed to be as protective of Jackson as I was, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that she also seemed to be flirting with me. When she excused herself to use the facilities, I took the opportunity to drill my best friend.

“Dude! Is she your girlfriend or what? Because I am getting all kinds of mixed signals here.”

“My girlfriend?” Jackson scoffed, but his phone chimed an odd sound as soon as he said it, and he became distracted, reading whatever the notification was. Had we spent so little time together recently that I didn’t remember the sounds his phone made?

“What were you saying, Aje? My girlfriend?”

The phone chimed again. He lowered the volume, shut the screen, and placed it on the table.

“We’re not … She’s not …” He sighed. “Actually, I brought her here to meet you!”

“Yeah? I thought, I mean, I figured you wanted me to meet her because you two are dating. You’ve been spending so much time together. And you're not hooking up with other women. I’m confused. She’s really not your girlfriend?”

Jackson’s elbows were on the table, and he covered his face with his hands. He mumbled something that sounded like this is such a mess , but he said it so softly I wasn’t sure. He sighed and uncovered his face.

“Emily and I have been friends forever, Aje. It’s not like that. I’ve been telling her about you. And she really wanted to meet you. For you two to maybe …” Jackson didn’t finish the sentence, instead moving his hands between the two of us.

“Oh, so she is flirting with me?”

“Maybe. I don’t know? Yes?”

“Huh?” I looked toward the bathrooms. “And you’d be okay if we …”

“Maybe. I don’t know? Yes?” He laughed as if the repeated words were a joke, but he sounded sincere and maybe a little desperate. As if resolving some inner conflict, he tried again. “Of course, I’d be okay with it. You’re both my friends, and I want you to be happy. Why wouldn’t I be okay with it? Hook up, date, whatever.”

I hoped my look conveyed how oddly he was acting. I didn’t call him on it but threw out a little test instead. “And what about you; while I’m charming your friend, who are, I mean, what are you going to do? Ooh, there’s that waitress, Casey.” I started to look around. “Bro code, no man left behind, right? Should we go find …”

Jackson’s phone buzzed, which he ignored, but he stopped me with a, “No!

“AJ. I’m fine. It’s fine. I’ve … You know, lately I haven’t been into it. The whole playing-the-field thing.” I wasn’t any closer to understanding but was thrilled to finally hear him say the words.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed. I thought it was because of Emily.”

“Nah, it’s because of me.” Jackson sounded sad, and his phone buzzed again.

“You’re popular tonight.”

“Apparently.” His tone hadn’t changed, but the tone around the table did when Emily came back, all smiles and positive energy. She took one look at Jackson and could tell something was up.

“What have you boys been talking about? Do you need more time? I can …”

Jackson jumped in with another, “No!” He was really on edge. “We were just chatting. Chatting about how you wanted to meet a hunky firefighter, and how this entire neighborhood knows that AJ is the hunkiest of us all.”

“I hear you’re quite the player, AJ.”

“Yeah, well, I used to have a partner in crime. Not so much anymore.”

I watched Jackson during this entire exchange, worried over his mood as I’d been worried about him in general for months. My heart constricted, thinking about him being unhappy and even more so because I had no idea why. All I wanted to do was help him. I also really wanted to figure out why my stomach had a marching band residing inside it. The two things seemed related, but it was like I was missing a key piece of the puzzle. I needed my thoughtful, focused Jackson back, with his honest gaze and truthful answers.

We kept staring at each other, and damned if his motherfucking phone didn’t buzz again. I went to grab it, but Jackson snatched it up quickly, our eyes never leaving each other. There was determination in his and maybe embarrassment? My fucking stomach swooped again.

The whole interaction just felt charged and weird and not like us at all.

“Be right back,” he mumbled, tapping at his screen as he headed to the bathroom.

I watched him until he rounded the corner, keeping my eyes on the spot until Emily drew my attention back to her. I’d almost forgotten her standing there and may have jumped in surprise.

“You know what would be fun?”

“Huh?”

“Is it too soon to talk about New Year’s Eve? My cousin Ruth will be in town, and I promised her a fun night. What do you say, hunky fireman?”

“Firefighter,” I corrected.

“Right, sorry. How about it? Can you find one more guy for Ruth, and we’ll show my cousin some New York fun?”

“Huh? Wait? What about Jackson? Can’t Ruth be his date? I mean, sure, I guess New Year’s Eve sounds like fun. Thanks for asking.” I sounded hesitant and ridiculous in my response, when really I was just confused about any number of things. I tried to focus on the attractive woman asking me out even as I kept one eye on the back hallway that led to the bathrooms.

“Nah. I think Jackson needs to find his own date. And AJ, you and me, we need to support him in that,” she said pointedly.

“Okay? Okay, yeah, of course. I always support Jackson. Bro code and all that.”

“Bro code?”

“It’s just this stupid thing about how we help each other out, you know, at the bars and stuff, but really we say it for other stuff too. Of course, I support Jackson if he doesn’t want to date your cousin. We’ll find a third.”

“Hey, AJ?” Emily caught me looking back toward the bathrooms again.

“Yeah?”

Point-blank, she came out and asked, “Do you want to hook up with me? Tonight?”

That got my attention. “I, um?” It only took a moment of thought. “I appreciate the offer, but I'm worried about Jackson, and I think, maybe, we should hang out here? With him.”

“Bro code?”

“Bro code.” I nodded in agreement. Almost as an afterthought, I added, “Pease don’t misunderstand me. I very much look forward to getting to know you. You’re Jackson’s best friend and all. But yeah, I think tonight needs to be about Jax.”

She nodded curtly and smiled a Hollywood smile, bright and brilliant and maybe not entirely sincere. “Good answer!”

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