AJ’s Fire (Hampstead Valley #3)

Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Jackson

A few weeks after we watched the game at Jamie’s, AJ and I were hanging out at the station when I got a call from my mom.

“Yes, Mom. Emily and I will be traveling up together. You know I hate the drive. We could have Christmas in the city …” I rolled my eyes at AJ who was lounging on the couch next to me, our matching sets of department-issued boots propped up on the coffee table. Mom was knocking down my idea of having Christmas in the city as I knew she would.

“I know ... Everyone will be there ... Yes, of course, I’m happy to sit with Emily’s family at the club, we always do.” I shrugged at AJ, who was looking at his phone, pretending not to listen but also laughing at me. “No, Mom, of course I don’t know what color she’s wearing.”

I hit the mute button and leaned my foot over to tap AJ’s. He pulled his head up from his phone to look at me. “I swear having Christmas Eve at the club is like going to the fucking prom. I moved here to get away from this shit.”

I quickly unmuted to give my mom an “uh-huh” as she continued to talk, and AJ quietly whispered as he held up his phone. “I texted her. She’s wearing red.” I silently laughed at my friend.

“No, Mom, the next day. I told you. AJ invited me to brunch with his mother and stepfather. They showed up yesterday and are here through the holiday. Yes.” I looked at AJ apologetically before I continued. “Yes, he’s the one with the widowered brother … Well, he’s my best friend, of course I would be there for him at a time like that. No, Mom, it’s not like that; we’re just going to a pub near the fire station. Okay, Mom … See you soon … Love you too.”

“Ugh’” I tossed my phone between the two of us on the couch.

“Can’t I come upstate with you and Jamie?” I whined. “Really, AJ, Christmas Eve at the country club, it’s torture! You know, events like that are the reason Ems and I are such good friends. When we were young, we’d sneak off, or sit in a corner and make fun of people … What? What’s that look for? Stop glaring at me!”

“What do you think the look’s for?”

“No fucking clue. Aje?” I responded in mock frustration.

“I’m just saying, you may want to tone down the ‘poor little me, having to go to the country club’ routine. It sounds a little …” He didn’t need to finish, and I appreciated that he was reluctant to put a name to it.

“I know, you’re right. Actually, it sounds a lot elitist, and I’m being an asshole. But hey, I’m looking forward to finally meeting your mom before I go. Oh! And let me show you this bag I got for Vera. It’s for dance class.” I found a picture of the bag I’d ordered on my phone and held it out across the couch. “Look, it’s even got her name on it. It got here last night.”

I felt my phone vibrate while I was shoving it in AJ’s face and pulled it back quickly. I’d received a match on Guys4Guys and had been chatting with a guy who also claimed to be curious and new to dating men. He and I had kept up a light conversation over the course of the last week while AJ and I had gone to a movie, watched another night of football with Jamie at his place, and picked Vera up from school to take her to dance class. AJ insisted I attend, telling me he thought one of the moms might actually be a potential date for New Year’s Eve. Despite all the time we were spending together, I did not share with AJ that I was chatting up a possible New Year’s Eve date for myself on a gay dating app.

AJ tapped my foot as I’d done to him. “That phone of yours pings all the time these days. You gonna tell me who you’re talking to?”

“No one,” I may have said too defensively and while tucking my phone to my chest.

“Uh-huh.” He drew the sound out as if he didn’t believe me. “Okay, so if it’s no one, then can we ask Casey to join us on New Year’s Eve?”

“It’s practically Christmas, Aje. She probably already has plans. Besides, I might, maybe”—it was my turn to draw the word out“—have a date of my own.”

“Ah-ha! I knew it!”

In the end, it was Casey who joined us on New Year’s Eve. Casey was a waitress from Lucy's Taphouse who had been witness to my antics over the years but had never succumbed to my charms. On more than one occasion, it was Casey helping AJ or me, or AJ and me into a cab to make sure we got home safely. She and Emily had become fast friends since they’d met at Lucy's Taphouse, and Emily invited us all to her penthouse before our dinner reservation on New Year’s Eve.

Emily opened the door, scowling, and I walked in holding two bottles of champagne.

“Casey’s here.” Emily’s tone was accusatory.

“Yeah, she said she’d meet me here. You guys were going to get dressed together or whatever.”

“Yeah, no, I mean, why is Casey here?”

I handed over one of the bottles as I leaned in to kiss Emily on the cheek. “Don’t start, Ems.” I adjusted my voice to a whisper even though we were alone in the foyer. “What happened to ‘everyone comes out at their own pace’? I’m just not ready.”

“You’re just not ready to stop pining over your best friend, more like.” Emily raised up on her toes and peered over my shoulder. “Where are the Gordon brothers?”

“Good question,” I said, pulling out my phone. “Not here yet?”

As if on cue, my phone pinged, but it was a notification from Guys4Guys. Emily tried to peek, but I maneuvered around her as Ruth came barreling down the hall in a bathrobe.

“Jackson!” She ran up and hugged me. “It’s so good to see you again. Oh, shit, you look good!”

“Oh, shit?”

“Yeah, look at you in that suit. And Ems all sparkly. She’s been trying to talk me into a little black dress, but …”

From Emily’s room I heard, “Come on, girls, I need someone to zip me up!”

With another kiss on the cheek Emily grabbed Ruth by the arm, and they headed back down the hall. “You are wearing the black one!”

“Hi, girls,” I mumbled to myself. “Happy New Year.” I poured myself a drink and sat. I was about to open the Guys4Guys app when a text popped up.

Coffee Trainer: Running late. Ok if we meet you at the restaurant?

Probie: Sure

I switched over to the app to find a long message from Newbie1164, the guy I’d been texting with for a few weeks but hadn’t had the nerve to ask out.

Newbie1164: Happy New Year’s Eve! I hope you’re doing something fun. I’m going out with a group of friends who think they’re going to set me up with a friend of theirs. A woman, of course. I wish I’d had the courage to ask you out for New Year’s Eve. I’m headed up north tomorrow. To Cedar Lake. I was so surprised when you said your grandparents had a place there. I was thinking, maybe if you weren’t busy, we could meet up there, away from the city. It’s not too far a drive, or I could pick you up at the train station if you don’t have a car. I just feel like I’m always looking over my shoulder, even typing this. We could meet at a bar or something …

I stared at the phone, wondering what I wanted. I mean, I knew I wanted AJ, but that was out of the question, and the whole point of being on Guys4Guys was for me to find someone to explore my sexuality with. Another person struggling to come out and interested in meeting away from the prying eyes of my friends was the perfect setup. So why was I still so apprehensive? Just because I agreed to meet the guy didn’t mean I had to go through with anything. Newbie had been easy to talk with over text. Maybe there would be a spark, or maybe we’d just each find a friend we could relate to who was going through the same thing. I formed my response.

HotJake005: Happy New Year to you. I would be happy to meet you. I have a car, and my family’s cabin is on the lake. I’ll drive up and text you when I’m there.

With only a slight hesitation, I followed it up by texting the address of my grandparents’ cabin. They were already south for the winter along with my parents, spending time at our estate in Costa Rica.

I stared at my phone, waiting for a reply, thinking about how I should be anxious or nervous to meet Newbie. But my thoughts kept turning to AJ. It was as if Newbie was some afterthought or task that I had to check off my list.

Emily, Ruth, and Casey came out of the bedroom a minute later, all three in black dresses and high heels.

I stood as Casey approached. She punched me in the arm. “Hey, buddy. You clean up good.” She hugged me then and whispered in my ear, “I don’t know what Emily’s up to, but I’m still not interested in what you have to offer if you get my meaning.” She pulled back and smiled at me.

I smiled back. “Just a bunch of friends hanging out on New Year’s Eve. Got it.”

“I haven’t seen you around the bar for a while, so I have to say I was surprised when you asked me along tonight.” I tilted my head at her. “Okay, when Emily asked me on your behalf.” Casey leaned in again. “What’s she up to?”

“Fuck if I know,” I said as Emily approached us and handed me a bottle of champagne to open.

After a few drinks, we headed to the restaurant, which turned out to be an eclectic place with great energy.

“Welcome to Bounty’s Kitchen. Two members of your party are already here. Let me take you to them.”

As the ma?tre d’ asked us to follow him toward the back of the establishment, a surge of nervous energy shot through me. I could feel my heart palpitating, and I began running my hands down my thighs. My phone vibrated in my pocket, but the nerves had started before the familiar buzz that meant I had a notification from Guys4Guys.

I had stepped back to allow the women to go ahead, but as Emily walked past, she took one look at me and linked her arm in mine instead.

“What’s with you?”

“Fine, I’m fine.” I was totally not fine.

We followed the ma?tre d’ as we snaked through the restaurant.

Emily held me back so that the others were a few steps ahead of us. “You don’t sound fine.”

“I can’t do this anymore, Ems. I … I have a date.” I leaned in close and whispered, “With a guy. Tomorrow.”

“And you're nervous about it?”

“Yes. No.” I stopped walking and genuinely thought about it. “No. The date is whatever. Seems like a nice enough guy, and he claims to be in the closet too and working things out like me. I don’t think I’m nervous about that.” I knew the words were true as they came out of my mouth.

“But I have to come out. I have to tell AJ.” Emily’s face lit up like I’d told her Santa Claus had visited. “Tell him I’m bi. Stop lying to him. That’s all he needs to know,” I concluded pointedly.

“And you’re nervous about that?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking terrified. I don’t want things to change between us.”

“Why would they change?” Emily said, but then she started walking again, taking me along with her.

We made it to the back of the room as Casey and Ruth arrived at the table. AJ and Jamie stood to greet them, and I had to tighten my grip on Emily as my gaze traveled to my best friend. He was wearing a charcoal-gray suit jacket with a black T-shirt underneath. The shirt strained across his broad chest, and after AJ absentmindedly buttoned the jacket, it framed him from those broad shoulders to his narrow waist. But it was the pants that had me working to catch my breath. He’d paired the jacket with black jeans so formfitting I felt like I could see the outline of every muscle of AJ’s thighs. I had never seen him in those pants before; I would have remembered. This was a man I had showered and changed with hundreds of times in my five years at the station—but seeing him dressed up for the evening simply took my breath away.

When he smiled as Casey and Ruth approached the table, it stopped me in my tracks again. The room around me faded until all that was left was him. The restaurant wasn't overly bright, but in my mind’s eye, he had that shimmering glow behind him, like the day we’d met. There was no sight, no sound, only him.

Emily turned to me, watching me watch AJ. “Why on earth would things change?” she mumbled, possibly to herself. At any rate, I chose to ignore it. “Come on, Jax,” she whispered. “We’re failing at introducing everyone.”

She tugged on my arm, but I hesitated, the palpitations starting up again and making it so I had to focus to keep from nervously running my hands down my legs. I could feel my pulse everywhere, but my attention quickly focused on my cock, which was surging and thickening as I stood there dumbfounded.

“Jax,” Emily whispered sharply, a tense smile on her face as the ma?tre d’ came back toward us.

“Is this table okay, Mr. Dorso? Ms. Wyecrest?” The man’s concerned attention was enough to snap me out of my lust-filled stupor.

Looking past him toward my best friend, I said, “Everything’s perfect. Two bottles of champagne for the table to start, if you would.”

“Right away, sir. Ma’am.” He nodded toward Emily before he headed for the bar.

Emily and I finally approached the table, where our group stood shaking hands. Emily began, “AJ, so nice to see you again.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “And this must be Jamie? I believe you both know Casey.”

Jamie had a polite if somewhat distracted smile on his face, “Casey, from Lucy's Taphouse! Best nachos in Brooklyn. It’s nice to see you.”

Emily, enjoying her role as hostess, released my arm and linked hers with Ruth instead, guiding her to Jamie.

“Jamie, AJ, this is my cousin Ruth.” Emily smoothly maneuvered Ruth to the seat next to Jamie before linking arms with Casey and directing her to a chair.